FB 6/14 - Pristine defined -

[Peace and Harmony]

Today's vocabulary lesson:

 

[AthenaQe]

New title, "pristinely not perfect" incoming.

 

[TheAmazingAxolotl]

>daily shower

Slathering yourself in animal fat after cooking breakfast is not a shower, Chris

 

[asperhes]

For those unaware, he's interested in this word because he used it on his Vanity Fair cover: "I like to be pristine!" It rhymes with Christine. So the punchline is that he used this word without knowing what it means, because he needed a rhyme.

He sure is being bipolar lately; he's in a great mood until he's psychically assaulted by images of the blue arms, then the world must drown in blood.

 

[Florence]

Surely 'not perfectly pristine'? Also, gotta love the way he states that he showers with soap and water as if everyone else doesn't bother.

 

[chimpburgers]

Surely 'not perfectly pristine'? Also, gotta love the way he states that he showers with soap and water as if everyone else doesn't bother.

ADF, cough cough.

 

[Zap Rowsdower]

Chris should consider investing in one of those daily vocabulary word desk calenders.

 

[Bronchitis that Lingers]

At least he's honest...

 

[The Lizard Queen]

pris·tine
ˈprisˌtēn,priˈstēn/
adjective
adjective: pristine

1. in its original condition; unspoiled.
   "pristine copies of an early magazine"
   • clean and fresh as if new; spotless.
     synonyms: immaculate, perfect, in mint condition, as new, unspoiled, spotless,flawless, impeccable, clean, fresh, new, virgin, pure, unused
     antonyms: dirty, spoiled

Chris has really done it this time. He's angered the Grammar secret police.

By any practical definition, Chis in his original unspoiled condition would be an autistic virgin with rage writing hate comics about trolls and complaining about how all the good girls are taken. He was NEVER considered clean.

Current Chris slept with a prostitute, and is now Christine. There's nothing pristine about it. He meets the conditions of the antonyms quite easily.

However, he does meet the LATIN definition of it...

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and undeveloped’): from Latin pristinus ‘former.’

 

[Bronchitis that Lingers]

pris·tine
ˈprisˌtēn,priˈstēn/
adjective
adjective: pristine

1. in its original condition; unspoiled.
   "pristine copies of an early magazine"
   • clean and fresh as if new; spotless.
     "a pristine white shirt"
     synonyms: immaculate, perfect, in mint condition, as new, unspoiled, spotless,flawless, impeccable, clean, fresh, new, virgin, pure, unused
     antonyms: dirty, spoiled

I wonder if Chris would lie about being a virgin if a potential sweetheart claimed that she wanted someone pristine? It's one thing to make an ambiguous Facebook post, but I wonder how that conversation would actually go down (not that it would).

 

[Funnybone]

I love how water seems like an optional liquid choice for a shower
I want to know the alternatives

 

[January Cyst]

It is peculiar that he has to point out that he takes daily showers....

 

[Mr. Mostly Baby]

It's funny because somebody not taking a shower could be seen as more pristine - they'd be in their purer state without alteration.

It's interesting that when Chris looks for a definition all she does is focus on some words without getting the larger meaning.

 

[PantsOfDesire]

I love how water seems like an optional liquid choice for a shower
I want to know the alternatives

I assumed him to be more the kind of stand with arms up and legs open during a breeze, expecting the wind will blow away the funk without the hassle of bathing.

I suspect he's a bit new to the showering thing if he's providing the detail that one would take for granted. It'd be like talking about having dinner - with food! Most people take that as a given, and perhaps the only reason to add unnecessary detail is out of a sense of novelty. i.e. prior to his newly discovered hygiene regimen, his crotch-stench must have elicited official complaints from as far afield as Canada.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

So now there's something else he's probably going to echo around.

Also, this reminds me of the times Chris posted about (mis)understanding the words "ad nauseum" and "prospects."

 

[Funnybone]

Rumor has it he also brushes his teeth with a toothbrush AND toothpaste, ladies
Though it's unconfirmed

 

[Bluespike]

Chris, we've known you're secret for over 10 years, we know you only take 3-second Showers

 

[CornetteFace]

Chris, pristine you are not. You've got some mileage on you buddy

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

What's the point of this post? He's saying even less than he usually does.

 

[Clown Doll]

I love how water seems like an optional liquid choice for a shower
I want to know the alternatives

A good spray of Axe or Orion Body, probably. Idk if he ever actually said he's substituting actual showers with them but according to the wiki the comics(and his body odor) seem to imply it heavily.