I have too much time on my hands and read the entire contents of her faux-geocities style blog. (may have missed some hidden pages/easter eggs that are there but I found a bunch of them.) Here are my notes if anyone wants a tldr.
https://dissolvedgirl.neocities.org/
Quick notes and armchair psychiatrist possible diagnoses based on her writings:
Major Depression - writes constantly of intense feelings of misery
possible dissociative disorder (not to be confused with DID) - writes of feeling constantly detached from the world, somehow not belonging, believing she is not supposed to exist in this time
possible cotards dillusion, see above
magical thinking - talks of bizarre thoughts patterns, other dimensions/realities
writing is coherent ->exclude schizophrenia, possible schizoid
social phobia/anxiety:
"Fear and anxiety are the most powerful forces in the world if you allow them to overpower your senses."
some metacognition but not enough
Interests -> nu metal, alt rock, existentialism & nihilism, Albert Camus, Dostoevsky
dualism/paradox
self fulfilling prophecy - There is a significant dream she has that reinforces her view that things have to occur a certain way (i.e. her future death).
Arrogant/judgemental of others -> most people are stupid, resents how the more of a SJW you are the more cool you are.
Loves "him" -> real or imaginary? Hopes he sees her message.
Possible hybristophilia
Handwriting becomes increasingly illegible in entries expressing emotion. This really annoyed me, if you want to leave a suicide note or some blip of your existence at least make it readable.
Her doodles are pretty crappy but I can make out one drawing of Dylan Klebold.
Summary: She sounds like a typical angsty teen. It's very cliche, I think in a few years she would have been embarrassed by this. She describes feeling constantly empty alternating with feeling constant misery and anger. Later she says it's all worth it because of the love she gets from "him". (eyeroll ) She makes it seem like she is very socially isolated. She is into some pseudo-scientific multiple reality, aura, numerology bullshit. Probably thought being 18 on the 20th anniversary of the columbine universe shooting meant whatever she was planning was meant to be. As I said earlier the site is in the style of a 90s geocities page and she provides links to sites that emulate the 90's with a virtual tv that links to 90s television etc.
I think she may have gone to CO to kill herself to be united with Dylan Klebold and/or Eric Harris in another dimension or afterlife.
Her writings of bizarre feelings, being out of place in this reality and her eventual fulfillment of her own death wish reminded me very much of the plot of Donnie Darko. I felt bad for her because this could have been easily been prevented but I lose some sympathy when I saw how negatively she talks about other people and the human race.
RIP Sol Pais
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