[Feb 23, 2020] Retrospective Begathon #6 - Buy subs to watch DSP wax pig-osophic while also begging for more money

harbinger

DarksydePhallus
kiwifarms.net
Double Edit: He literally just stopped watching a video because "it's boring". Granted it was a giant tutorial cutscene, but I appreciate the lack of self-awareness considering he is watching his own content and he can't even get through it because it's so boring. But he expects other people to watch it.
If the video was just a cutscene, I’m surprised he didn’t blame the developers for poor writing causing his video to be too boring to sit through.
i'm thinking with his court date coming up, he might do a stay-cation

just an autistic theory
Kat’s getting her honeymoon! Hurray!
 
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Reactions: Gotta Groom Em All

actually

Supervisor
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
so he has this "marathon" which isn't for taxes or the tax guy, or the bankruptcy lawyer, then he'll have the begathon on the 28th for the money to pay his tax guy, then another begathon to pretend he's going to pay his taxes but will roll his $15,000 2018 tax plan into the 2019 payment plan

I also remembered his payment plan is $500/month, this is probably what today's $500 is for, unless he climbs the leaderboards on WWE champions

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This is a very good point, and he's also talked about paying the state B&O taxes monthly now (which is probably smart, since it's a smaller lump amount, and he can't plan for shit. Good thinking on this one!

He'll have the new Bray Wyatt card by Tuesday.
Seriously, I hope some of our resident watchers have a "before" for where he was prior to the begathon today because I wouldn't be surprised to see him whale out some.
 

Qi Meng Dealer

kiwifarms.net
That’s still the worst part of all this, I’ve excepted these losers will never stop throwing money at him, but god damn man how can any of them actually like these garbage retrospectives. The fact that this shit was pathetic the first time and his fans continuing supporting during them to the point he’s had like 6 or 7 more is just baffling. Give him your money any other day of the week, but don’t support this literal garbage
To be fair, this is more of a Twitch thing. There are a lot of streamers with garbage content that are rewarded by spergs throwing money around. Just check out the Just Chatting category. Phil lucked out in being able to find the spergs he needs to keep him afloat. Too bad he's shit at money, he could've lived a good life with wheelchair quarters.
 

DarkSoulsPhil

kiwifarms.net
I've tried watching Phil's content, even objectively, to understand what the appeal is. And I don't get it. I get the drama part, I get the idea that maybe he's committing bankruptcy fraud, or he's a scammer, because that is an interesting story. But I don't get why people watch him for anything else, or why anyone pays him anything for it.

It's absolutely the most boring content I've ever seen. He is so uninteresting. He has no opinions on anything unless its food-related or he's shitting on a game. He doesn't discuss anything controversial, and bans anyone that does. And he doesn't have any interesting stories to tell because he doesn't even leave his house. He's like an old man in a rocking chair just reliving his past, telling the same uneventful stories over and over again about his youth. And he is not good at games.

Not one dollar Phil "earned" today will go to his taxes, or his attorney. That's the next fundraiser. And as long as this formula works, Phil will keep doing it. His paypigs are his enabler. The longer they stay around, the further Phil gets from ever being able to function in the real world. It's probably already too late for Phil. He'll be begging til the day he dies.
Sunken cost fallacy
 

boxybum

kiwifarms.net
That’s still the worst part of all this, I’ve excepted these losers will never stop throwing money at him, but god damn man how can any of them actually like these garbage retrospectives. The fact that this shit was pathetic the first time and his fans continuing supporting during them to the point he’s had like 6 or 7 more is just baffling. Give him your money any other day of the week, but don’t support this literal garbage
Most of DSP's fans are literally autistic and mentally disabled. They don't have the mental capacity to realize they are wasting their money. Phil is preying upon them.
 

Paranoia Machine

Paranoid Android
kiwifarms.net
"What's up everyone?

DSP there looking like Bum but I looked more like a moron now on the web cam!"

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You ever just look at someone and think "What a fucking mess."?
I swear, the worst part about him looking so bummy is that he doesn't look much worst than normal. And that is not a compliment. The dude aged like tard cum but even before then he wasn't much to look at.
He's got some fucked up proportions, like no shoulders, a gut, and a fat bulbous head. Dude's chin gave up some time ar the beginning and decided to melt into his neckline, his cheeks are just sagging jowls, his hairline is falling back like it was a trial version, which only stands to pronounce his big greasy forehead. To top it all off he has the biggest hooked nose I've seen.

Dude looks like someone's big toe wished hard enough and it became a real boy.

I hear that when you're born your skull is still relatively malleable and the way you are delivered and the way the nurse handles you influences your head shape, but I gotta know; did the nurse say "fuck it!"? And try to pitch her best speedball when she held him? Why does his head look like it's only half done?

It blows my mind that Phil somehow manages to be narcissistic about his looks to the point of worrying about going bald. If I looked like he did, I'd have just accepted that whatever happens happens.
Dude looks like his mom had dwarfism and his dad had gigantism and he got the worst of both of their traits.
Fuckin' Philwald Cobblepot over here, making me worry if his next stream he'll be announcing his plans to try and take over Gotham City while wielding an umbrella like a weapon.

I don't got it all my damn self, but compared to him; I am a Greek god.
 

Very Honest Content

(Formerly a) Niggo(?)
kiwifarms.net
You ever just look at someone and think "What a fucking mess."?
I swear, the worst part ...
He's got some fucked up proportions, like no shoulders, a gut, and a fat bulbous head.
For like two weeks to start this year I really didn't get all the 'oddly shaped head' callback references, but one day, I suddenly saw it, and I can't unsee the fucking thing now, it's worse in the throwback videos with the short haircut too.
 

PinkRibbonScars

kiwifarms.net
Phil's body is the strangest part. I don't know how he has such massive manboobs for a guy that's slightly overweight at most and average height (I assume he's really like 5'10). Protruding gut, no shoulders, and walks like he has a dick up his ass. And the oddly shaped head. I'd feel bad for Phil if he wasn't... Phil.
Phil isn't "slightly overweight", he's borderline obese.
 

NotreallyPutin

Ragequit
kiwifarms.net
Phil's body is the strangest part
It's the middle-class boomer body. Think about it:

Boomers were never into physical fitness. They just wanted to work all their life to pay off shit that they financed through banks and thought that was a good idea.

Dave is shaped like a homemade sausage because he never does anything, at all. He never walks, does house chores, nothing. I bet that Khat does all the menial labor in the house just so fatty can babysit uploads and gin post when he's not sitting on his depression seat.
 

Draventren

kiwifarms.net
Phil's body is the strangest part. I don't know how he has such massive manboobs for a guy that's slightly overweight at most and average height (I assume he's really like 5'10). Protruding gut, no shoulders, and walks like he has a dick up his ass. And the oddly shaped head. I'd feel bad for Phil if he wasn't... Phil.
Yeah it's so fucking odd. I don't throw around insults on weight cause I'm currently a fat fuck, but I think that gives me some idea of how fat fucks look. This guy has just the strangest proportions for his size. Like, all his weight wound up in his gut and tits somehow. I almost wonder if it's not hormonal. We speculate he has low-T, but I'm wondering if his body is producing too much estrogen or if a medication or more likely a food source he's eating is causing increase in it. Just being fat doesn't give your body the proportions of a woman who's carried three kids to term.
 

Rubea Meretrix

kiwifarms.net
Phil acting like he doesn't know how Arturo is doing, or whether Team Spooky is pulling in cash is ridiculous. Team Spooky is a household name in the FGC and Art still goes to tourneys and is well respected.
IIRC, Spooky himself is now working for Xsplit, clapping boycheeks in Thailand.

Arturo is respected when he becomes Yung Art. Otherwise it's the "yo ull max cpm" "and "what did i beg for" dude.

Remember he can also be a laughing stock, like when he went to Topanga to play against Daigo dressed like a salaryman and got annhilated. Or when he was creating "secret Discords" to defeat the asians. Or when he begged for sponsorships...

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Never forget.
 

SkippyLongbottom

kiwifarms.net
Yeah it's so fucking odd. I don't throw around insults on weight cause I'm currently a fat fuck, but I think that gives me some idea of how fat fucks look. This guy has just the strangest proportions for his size. Like, all his weight wound up in his gut and tits somehow. I almost wonder if it's not hormonal. We speculate he has low-T, but I'm wondering if his body is producing too much estrogen or if a medication or more likely a food source he's eating is causing increase in it. Just being fat doesn't give your body the proportions of a woman who's carried three kids to term.
He just has that boomer alcoholic-eats-like-shit body.

Alcohol can fuck with the hormones and that shit process right to your gut and tits. Quickest way to gain weight like him is eating lots of sugar(homemade sauce) and some booze.

Could suspect some Klinefelter syndrome for him which from my garbage memory, was already discussed a bit a year or two ago. So he's not doing himself any favors by not working out because it's looking worse and worse every year. He looked so scary in his DSP Tries It where he had his wife creepily film him silently while he says a burger is salty, like no shit.
 

Cistern Rumbler

Festering Vomitous Mass
kiwifarms.net
Retrospectives always prove one thing in particular; that DSP misses the FGC, misses Jahn Rahmbo, misses his old life in general. He tries to play it off like he was miserable back then, he was fat, lonely, immature etc but look at his face as he watches old Street Fighter tournies or co-ops with Jahn and he can't get the smile off his face.

Contrast that with his mahdern era droopy sad old man existence, chasing around a cat he hates with a spray bottle and falling asleep on his own while playing wrasslin mobile games, doing his best to avoid his mashed potato obsessed half-a-dipshit goat-laughing wife. His Retrospectives are like a reverse Picture of Dorian Gray; each year DSP watches his old material and as he becomes older, more boring and less fun---his old kahntent looks better and better.
 
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