[February 2021 - ????] DSP Tries It: Divinity: Original Sin II -

[twattycake]

Someone who's more familiar with lifting weights can give you a run down of why he has the body type of a man who's never bench pressed or lifted a set of dumbbells before in his life. But you don't need to be an expert to debunk that people used to stop and stare at him and say "Holy shit dude, Phil's ripped!"

It's not just his appearance, it's what goes into maintaining that kind of physique - we're talking about borderline autistic commitment to diet and exercise regimen. Contrast that with the Phil we know and laugh at who thinks lifting a gallon of milk without arm strain is a feat of strength. There's also no photos of it which is bizarre for somebody who's basically lived online for the last twenty-odd years and even uploaded really cringey pics like that "Punisher" cosplay on his old "Top Haters" site.

Phil was always a plump pig from what I understand, the dudes arms (triceps) are completely without form and lack any form of mass below his shoulders, it's just nothing but fat and skin.

He wasn't always a plump pig. I can't find it but there's an old photo from + or - the early 2000s where he is legit skinny and looks like a wannabe Columbine shooter. Remember, he was 17 when those shootings happened and was a HUGE edgelord in his early Internet days. My guess is that he turned into the Philsbury Doughboy during university - we don't know much about his parents' cooking beyond the infamous Authentic Italian Sauce but we do know that he will live on huge amounts of junk food when left to his own devices. The only real question is whether that happened as soon as he moved away or only after he stopped living on campus.

 

[JimiHendrix]

Mordus transforms???

My wife and I have been playing this two or three times a week at night together and it's been super enjoyable. She's not a huge gamer but she really likes RPGs so our builds are not super optimized or anything crazy. But mordus was a cakewalk. The hard part was breaking out of the cells and reuniting the party without those fucking blue voidwoken that kidnapped you killing you.

We were setting up the room for Mordus and trying to drop barrels and get ready when I accidentally walked into his field of vision and started the encounter early. We trounced him with chained knockdowns with Battering Ram and Battle Stomp.

yeah if you don't keep him locked down he transforms into a giant rape monsters. game has a surprising amount of variability, since i never got kidnapped in my run. i'm not even sure how you trigger that, and it's not like I didn't explore the caves. I went to the dwarf alchemist bitch and all that. I just didn't get kidnapped.

 

[Pretty Boy Extremism]

Mordus transforms???

My wife and I have been playing this two or three times a week at night together and it's been super enjoyable. She's not a huge gamer but she really likes RPGs so our builds are not super optimized or anything crazy. But mordus was a cakewalk. The hard part was breaking out of the cells and reuniting the party without those fucking blue voidwoken that kidnapped you killing you.

We were setting up the room for Mordus and trying to drop barrels and get ready when I accidentally walked into his field of vision and started the encounter early. We trounced him with chained knockdowns with Battering Ram and Battle Stomp.

I've mentioned it when he first started playing it, but I know ALUDDA PEEPOL who played this game as their first CRPG and after a few hours having to adjust to it they had no problems playing through and beating the game. All of them weren't hardcore gamers either. It's not like the game is a baby's first CRPG either, you will get fucked if you're paying zero attention, but here's where most of the "difficulty" comes in. Paying attention and creative problem-solving will get you much farther in this game than an optimized build, something that's common with modern CRPGs compared to old-school ones because of advances in technology. You couldn't really do things in old-school CRPGs because a 2D isometric perspective would never allow for it, but modern engines set in 3D environments allow for that, and Larian absolutely capitalized on that.

He's got the same complaints with it that he has for Returnal. He says that "casual modernized gamers" like him don't wanna play roguelikes, it just isn't pahpular and it doesn't sell, all they want is a 10 hour cinematic experience (his words not mine). Phil's become a real-life caricature of what a casual gamer is portrayed as - a low IQ, easily impressed retard who just wants to look at pretty graphics, a "deep" story with lots of emotions being told through cutscenes that make up more thank half of the game, and feel like a big boy from all the dopamine hits he gets when the game tells him what a good job he's doing. As much as I talk shit about the mainstream gaming audience, they're not nearly as bad as Phil is. I mean fuck, if they were Hades wouldn't have gotten into the semi-finals of the player's choice awards.

I'm calling it now, he's going retcon all this chat handholding and give a fancy sounding name like his "descriptive raw playthroughs" or whatever the fuck he calls literally repeating what's on screen.
He's gonna call it interactive chat adventure or something

Just going back to this post to tell you that you called it, he is now calling it an "assisted playthrough" because he can't play it without tardwranglers telling him what to do.

 

[TheGoutburglar]

As much as I talk shit about the mainstream gaming audience, they're not nearly as bad as Phil is.

This is true, and it's why I love that Phil is seemingly trying to ingratiate himself with that crowd, because they're going to be very insulted by that when they realize that the guy who still doesn't try all the buttons on a controller is holding himself as a standard for casual gamers.

The imbecile who manages to rack up triple-digit death counts in old school platformers is not a fucking "casual". That's somebody who suffers from fetal alcohol syndrome or something.

 

[Pretty Boy Extremism]

Daveinity Original Gin 2 is on sale on Steam for the next few days so grab it while it's 60% ahf. See how long it takes you to get to the same point Dave is on now!

 

[DerichLovesNWA]

And it’s gone.

 

[PieceofShet]

Lets face it, dsp is too stupid to play this game, just dont have the brainpower. Even with handholding.
I gave him 3 streams when he started playing this. Also, poor an1337 is on suicide watch.

 

[JimiHendrix]

And it’s gone.

i'll never stop crying.

 

[JPG]

And it’s gone.

Thanks for the money, dummies.

 

[Hrothgar]

Thanks for the money, dummies.

I don't care if they think they're beating trolls or owning their own bullies or whatever their reasons are that would make Freud drink formaldehyde and Jung take a bullet. I cannot fathom being so pathetic and meaningless to existence as to give Phil money to play a game, and then give him more when he drops it and tells you to eat his shit.

 

[Pretty Boy Extremism]

DAVEINITY IS BACK ON THE MENU BOYS! Wednesday June 9th on the night stream.

 

[RIPRhongoBongo]

Well, he ran out of games to push Divinity off faster than I thought

 

[DarkSoulsPhil]

DAVEINITY IS BACK ON THE MENU BOYS! Wednesday June 9th on the night stream.

Divinity consistently meets the tips goal. This is one desperate piggy

 

[JimiHendrix]

DAVEINITY IS BACK ON THE MENU BOYS! Wednesday June 9th on the night stream.

cant believe this is the best thing to happen to me in the past five months.

 

[Flavius Anthemius]

Well it looks like the viewers choice supporters got exactly what they asked for.

Phil doesn't want to dictate any more time on this game anymore because he doesn't want to drop other games (Fall Out New Vegas), wants to only play casual games that he can play in short snippets of time and not spend any more time on this game then he already has (unless something in this story completely blows him away and takes him aback).

Great job Phil, the scammer in him is still in play

 

[Jasper2K]

Phil threatening to drop this game shook the pignosis in a fewpiglets. Dropping a viewers choice games is just a bad look.

 

[JimiHendrix]

Forgot he was playing this. just a heads up im doing shit on the side, so this post may not be as elaborate as you kids have come to expect from me.

I just came in and hear

"Look, I'm just trying to be upfront about this, I'm not trying to be an asshole about this, I'm just being honest"

I assume he is talking about how he's going to drop this.

"Yeah someone in chat just described this in a way I hadn't thought about, he says this game was viewers choice but the viewers no longer chose it. and yeah, I'm not satisfied with it, you're not satisfied with it, so why continue with the misery?"

Because you were paid hundreds of dollars. Do you think I love doing the commissions I do? I appreciate being able to do them, but I don't give shit about what these people want. But I am paid to give them it and so I do.

"New Vegas is also a CASUALIZED game. so i can play it in small digestible segments, this game is not like that, this game DEMANDS your attention."

what a faggot.

"So let's play as much as I can tonight, maybe enjoy it for the last time"

I'm sure only half of that statement is true.

the top tip is currently 10$ and the tip goal is currently 1$/200$.

Phil is now philosophizin' on whether or not it's ever morally acceptable to just mustard gas some kids.

Phil getting backstory on character's and hearing character's idly chat is boring. He wants story updates, not character development.

Phil, for the second time in the game, does not recognize Death Fog and walks directly into it and dies instantly. Death Fog has been explained, numerous times to him. Phil is BLOWN away that Faine can walk through Death Fog, Faine is an undead, Death Fog does not hurt undead, this has also been explained to him, he has committed on it in the past. He just can NOT remember something a month ago. It is impossible.

phil with his fat hambeast hands accidentally mashed the save button and is indignant that the game ACTUALLY fucking saved when he hit the save button, how fucking dare it.

"How's my night going? Meh, I knew I wasn't going to be super interested in this game, which I'm not, the game is just too difficult and too much of a time investment."

I'd never played a CRPG before Divinity, unless you count NWN when I was 11, but I picked it up quickly and really enjoyed it. Phil is just literally too stupid to understand this game, which is the kind of games I enjoy watching him play the most. Him not having the skill to play the games? Mate, that's almost all games. Him being legit too stupid to comprehend what's infront of him? Now that's a treat.

That cuck DasBoSchitt is in the youtube stream agreeing that phil should drop the game. I honestly think if you're a youtuber or twitch streamer and you show up in Phil's chat givin' him support. You're just a spineless retard. Same as Nick Reiteka giving Phil 20$, just a spineless retard. I understand the whole mentality of "I have bigger things in my life to get upset over then a bad youtuber" and that's true, but I also have a backbone and would not give support or money to someone like Phil.

Phil walked up to a fast travel statue and did an almost Sans-Undertale like goat laugh. I was upset.

He was asked if he would replay the whole Halo series and is just fucking blown away that someone would suggest that. What an unreasonable insane request, he wont be doing it. He's too busy playing Fallout NV for the third time.

Phil is going through his quest log and just has no idea what to do. He is looking at chat and asking for exact directions of where to go.

Phil is coming up into a room where you have to stand on like, 5 things? I forget the puzzle exactly, but you have to hold down 5 slots but you only have 4 characters, that's the trick. I remember it took me like, maybe 4 minutes to figure out. Let's see how phil do

Door in the puzzle room is locked, has a bright green glowing lock on it, same shade of green as all the ghosts you can see using your special vision. This is how I knew to use vision to see the puzzle solution, phil has not figured it out and is just running around on the pressure plates trying to brute force.

Phil is literally trying to figure out the puzzle without knowing what the end result is. It's like me asking you to solve a math problem but I won't give you the problem. So he's just standing there very confused. I can't even see him fail the puzzle because he has failed to understand how to even BEGIN the puzzle.

"I wish I knew what the ultimate goal was, there's nothing in this room, it's just a puzzle they expect you to figure it out on your own, which is par for the course for this fucking game"

every SINGLE ghost you see with Vision has the same green shadowy texture on them. This lock on the door has the SAME green shadowy texture, I wonder what it means? Iunno man. They just need to put in a 12 paragraph tutorial that pops up for me to read, this shit is too hard.

"What am I trying to do?"

Kill me through frustration, evidently.

"Oh really? It's not actually supposed to be creating symbols? You just need to put the vases on the pressure plates?"

Well, yes, you do need a vase to solve the puzzle, but no, you do need the symbols and it is meant to be making symbols.

Phil is still trying to brute force the puzzle without knowing what his fucking end goal is. man is trying to solve a rubix cube without seeing the colors.

"Am I ready for the fourth of July? Why would I be getting ready for the fourth of july? I wasn't bron on the fourth of july"

?????

Someone finally told him to use spirit Vision, he now sees the solution he has to create.

only took him about 9 minutes to START the puzzle.

"Alright guys, so there's an hour left on tonights stream, we've really got far on this stream haven't we?"

man has literally done nothing in an hour and a half because he's retarded. like clinically retarded. He has the solution infront of him and can not solve it. Took me 5 minutes tops.

Phil is now being literally handheld through the puzzle, being told exactly where to stand and exactly what to do to solve this. What a fucking retard. It was TeamIcoGamer that solved it for him, which people speculated is an OIC alt, but I'm also an OIC alt so who really puts stock in that?

"I'm seriously going to fall asleep playing this"

how is that different from any other game?

"Oooh a large master work rune, that's very useful, I can put that on something"

who gives a fuck? you're not playing again after tonight.

literally not two minutes later

"I think this is it for this game. I am 60 hours into the playthrough and no one cares about it. Half the stream chat is asking me to play something else"

Phil got ambushed and is literally counting down the time until he quits, he just said he only has 11$ in tips and begged for more, keep in mind what I said earlier, it's possible he's cloesr to 20$, but I have been doing work emails and other things, so I'm not confirming anything.

"my problem with the game is it's just too slow"

mate it's a fucking turn based RPG, it doesn't get any slower?

"The combat is very slow paced very meticulous, there;s really nothing exciting about the combat of this game"

I specced my mage to have full control over the battlefield, I could teleport anything anywhere that I wanted, I was up against a group of paladins, I had a barrel of Death Fog, I had my mage teleport inbetween two paladins, teleported a barrel of death fog ontop of one of them, killing him instantly, then swapped the positions of the corpse and the alive paladin into the Death Fog, killing him instantly too.

I felt very very cool. The combat has a lot to offer, you just need a brain to understand it.

He is getting the absolute SHIT kicked out of him.

"This is why sadly I don't like this game"

beacause he's getting his ass little ass slapped around.

man who makes his own schedule bitching that he can't do this game because he doesn't play it often enough.

An1337 just dropped another fat one hunnid dollars to save the stream. How many is that in just this week?

phil is for some reason ranting about how he's never heard of An1337 and is REALLY playing up "If it IS the troll or just someone impersonating, I DON'T KNOW, I HAVE NO IDEA" so he very clearly knows who it is. I don't pay attention to detractors, majority are retards, so I actually legitimately don't know who An1337 is, I've just heard the name many times. I honestly thought he was a known whale.

im about to pass the fuck out, the last 25 minutes has just been about this tip, no gameplay.

after what felt like 65 minutes Phil finally beat the fucking fight.

this fight should've taken at most 20 minutes.

Phil is saying how he did nothing of value tonight and I'm sittin' here like

same as every other night then, huh pinky?

Phil is sitting here trying to decide what quest reward he should get, which weapon is better or worse and who fucking CARES? you're never playing again, so it doesn't fucking matter.

Phil is talking and making plans about where to go as if there's going to be another stream of this game.

"After playing tonight, I've made a determination. At this point I don't realistically see myself playing this game again anytime soon. I'm just being honest. People want to see more of the games I haven't had a chance to play recently, they want to see more Fallout NV, they want to see more VF5, no one is asking for this game. essentially the reason this game was created for the viewers choice playthrough was for nothing else going on. So what Im feeling is we need to hold off on playing Divinity. I won't say the playthrough is done forever, but we need a significant hiatus, I think I might go back to it when things slow down. Whether that means I come back in a month or two months or a year, I'm halfway through the game essentially, but I don't want to say this is in my normal rotation, what's the point of me coming back and playing it 2 hours a month? What I'm thinking is putting it on hiatus for now and maybe this summer or early fall I'll commit to playing this two or three times a week."

I cut off the end of it, and since this is the final post on this game, since, let's be honest, this is going to be my last post on this game since he won't be playing it again. I'll just ramble for a bit. Phil you were paid to do a job and you decided you want to keep the money and not do the job. No wonder you've been fired from every single job you've ever had, even the one your daddy had to pull strings to get for you. You're a fat moron who can not dedicate any brain power to understanding anything, because you've killed so many of the few retarded brain cells you've had from the gin you drown yourself in every single night so you don't have to feel or consider anything about your current life.

this game was far too complicated for you because I have watched you struggle how to leave a room, with only one door, for ten full minutes. I have watched you read out loud letters and literally summarize the letters with the complete opposite meaning of what was said. You are literally one of the dumbest people I have ever seen.

so in short, Phil is fat and I don't like him. I hope I get to watch him for another ten years.

I hope you enjoyed my final bedtime story, good night and sweet dreams, children.

 

[Full Race Replay]

it's getting deleted off the ps5

 

[Swallow Moon]

I will miss your summaries, JimiHendrix.

See you all again when Divinity comes off hiatus

 

[TheGoutburglar]

"New Vegas is also a CASUALIZED game. so i can play it in small digestible segments, this game is not like that, this game DEMANDS your attention."

It's mind-blowing that someone who has been playing video games for a living for years can somehow manage to not have the act of paying attention for a couple of hours down to a science.

But that's what I would think if Phil were actually a professional streamer. He isn't, he begs for a living, with games as a smokescreen. They're a front, to obscure the real operation. His incompetency at most tasks is to be expected.

He was asked if he would replay the whole Halo series and is just fucking blown away that someone would suggest that. What an unreasonable insane request, he wont be doing it. He's too busy playing Fallout NV for the third time.

Phil is such an obnoxiously illogical person...