Feeler: kiwifarms.net Reads BAD Classic Literature? - -should we, or should we not?

[Sailor_Jupiter]

Since we're doing so many forum playthroughs of bad games... What about doing a chapter-by-chapter readthrough of really bad old books? I've found some really... intriguing offerings at Project Gutenberg.

Rules:
* book must be in English (translations are okay!)
* book must be PG-13 at most.
* must be either a.) widely considered to be a "classic" book, or b.) written by the author of other classics. (For instance, anything awful by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle is eligible, since he wrote the Sherlock Holmes books.)
* English versions of the book must be out of copyright and available FOR FREE at sites such as Archive.org and Project Gutenberg.
* No nonfiction/religious/history/epic poem books. The book must be intended by the author to be a fictional narrative.
* Books from any continent are acceptable.

FIRST PHASE: Discuss, and Submit Titles for Voting!

Titles submitted thus far:
The Doings of Raffles Haw by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (right-wing garbage)
Hagar by Mary Johnston (left-wing garbage)
Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea by Jules Verne (autism distilled in seawater. possibly the most autistic book ever written.)
A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court by Mark Twain (pretentious time-traveler attempts to reform ignorant past-dwellers. It doesn't go that well.)
Emma by Jane Austen (uppity society belle tries to micromanage the poor around her. Also, her father is an insane hypochondriac lolcow.)
)

 

[autisticdragonkin]

Why can't we do epic poetry and religious books? That is like half of world history down the drain

I submit the book True History
http://www.sacred-texts.com/cla/luc/true/ (not religious, claimed to be a true story but really satire)

 

[Ponderous Pillock]

Sorry how does this work? We have to record ourselves reading out chapters or what?

 

[Sailor_Jupiter]

Why can't we do epic poetry and religious books? That is like half of world history down the drain

I submit the book True History
http://www.sacred-texts.com/cla/luc/true/ (not religious, claimed to be a true story but really satire)

Because I'm focusing on fiction- and making fun of religious books (even lolish ones) will inherently offend *somebody*. I'm doing this just for fun.

 

[Sailor_Jupiter]

Sorry how does this work? We have to record ourselves reading out chapters or what?

I was thinking that we'd pick a book by common consensus, and read it chapter by chapter (like, I dunno, maybe one chapter per week?) and then we would discuss it. Sort of like a book club, but even lamer.

 

[Randall Fragg]

I kind of want to see us do dramatic readings of shitty fan fiction and independent fiction, like The Eye of Argon.
If we're doing historical works, I suggest Might Is Right.

 

[LagoonaBlue]

I really wanted to submit John Cleland's Fanny Hill - Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure. It's in the public domain, is out of copyright (AFAIK), is cheesy as anything and is available on Project Gutenberg. HOWEVER, it's an erotic novel, which is why I'm not going to submit it.

I'll need to think of something though. You have an interesting idea there.

Kinda on topic, kinda off but you're aware most of Jane Austen's books were satire or parody, right?

 

[AnOminous]

Since we're doing so many forum playthroughs of bad games... What about doing a chapter-by-chapter readthrough of really bad old books? I've found some really... intriguing offerings at Project Gutenberg.

Rules:
* book must be in English (translations are okay!)
* book must be PG-13 at most.
* must be either a.) widely considered to be a "classic" book, or b.) written by the author of other classics. (For instance, anything awful by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle is eligible, since he wrote the Sherlock Holmes books.)
* English versions of the book must be out of copyright and available FOR FREE at sites such as Archive.org and Project Gutenberg.
* No nonfiction/religious/history/epic poem books. The book must be intended by the author to be a fictional narrative.
* Books from any continent are acceptable.

FIRST PHASE: Discuss, and Submit Titles for Voting!

Titles submitted thus far:
The Doings of Raffles Haw by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (right-wing garbage)
Hagar by Mary Johnston (left-wing garbage)
Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea by Jules Verne (autism distilled in seawater. possibly the most autistic book ever written.)
A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court by Mark Twain (pretentious time-traveler attempts to reform ignorant past-dwellers. It doesn't go that well.)
Emma by Jane Austen (uppity society belle tries to micromanage the poor around her. Also, her father is an insane hypochondriac lolcow.)
)

How are the third and fourth bad? Mark Twain never wrote anything bad. Even his weird novel about Joan of Arc was pretty good.

 

[Sailor_Jupiter]

How are the third and fourth bad? Mark Twain never wrote anything bad. Even his weird novel about Joan of Arc was pretty good.

The third, because the main character is a Mary Sue (although the concept is great,) and the fourth because the protagonist is such a headache. It's sort of difficult to come up with really bad (yet not obscene) classic fiction, because time has already filtered out most of the really egregious examples.

 

[Sailor_Jupiter]

I really wanted to submit John Cleland's Fanny Hill - Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure. It's in the public domain, is out of copyright (AFAIK), is cheesy as anything and is available on Project Gutenberg. HOWEVER, it's an erotic novel, which is why I'm not going to submit it.

I'll need to think of something though. You have an interesting idea there.

Kinda on topic, kinda off but you're aware most of Jane Austen's books were satire or parody, right?

I thought of that one too, but I wanted this undertaking to be a little bit more all-ages friendly. But yes, I totally considered that. (Fanny inspired the PG-13 tag, in fact, because I kneeeeeew that someone else here would know about that book! ^^; )

 

[LagoonaBlue]

I thought of that one too, but I wanted this undertaking to be a little bit more all-ages friendly. But yes, I totally considered that. (Fanny inspired the PG-13 tag, in fact, because I kneeeeeew that someone else here would know about that book! ^^; )

:powerlevel: I had to read it for a class on erotic literature at university.

It pretty much defined the erotic writing genre to be fair. Yes, there was smutty writing before that (such as the poems of the Second Earl of Rochester) but nothing on that scale.

 

[GV 998]

This seems like a fun exercise. I'm thinking I'd like to do the Raffles Haw novel or a Yankee in King Arthur's Court

 

[LagoonaBlue]

I have one that isn't NSFW and is on Project Gutenberg. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe's The Sorrows of Young Werther. Whilst the book is still in print in Goethe's native Germany, as far as I know it is no longer in print in the English speaking world and is in public domain.

The reason I am submitting it is that although it is considered a major piece of classic literature, the protagonist is a whiny little pussy. All he does is complain, in particular about a girl. The ending is pretty damn annoying too.

 

[AnOminous]

I have one that isn't NSFW and is on Project Gutenberg. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe's The Sorrows of Young Werther. Whilst the book is still in print in Goethe's native Germany, as far as I know it is no longer in print in the English speaking world and is in public domain.

The reason I am submitting it is that although it is considered a major piece of classic literature, the protagonist is a whiny little pussy. All he does is complain, in particular about a girl. The ending is pretty damn annoying too.

It set off a minor suicide epidemic among the 18th Century equivalent of emos. So it has that going for it.

 

[LagoonaBlue]

It set off a minor suicide epidemic among the 18th Century equivalent of emos. So it has that going for it.

Yeah, because a large amount of men thought that Werther was a tragic and romantic character, which is bullshit in my opinion.

 

[Strelok]

The third, because the main character is a Mary Sue (although the concept is great,) and the fourth because the protagonist is such a headache. It's sort of difficult to come up with really bad (yet not obscene) classic fiction, because time has already filtered out most of the really egregious examples.

The character has to be a mary sue. It was a serialized adventure novel basically. The 19th century equivalent to a superhero comic.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

If it weren't such a long book, I'd suggest Pamela by Samuel Richardson. It is the story of a beautiful young woman who goes to work for a handsome man who has designs on her virtue and kidnaps her. Then he realises how virtuous she is and offers to marry her, and she says yes because she's an idiot. The book was unbelievably popular despite being vapid sanctimonious shit.

I would recommend Trilby by George Du Maurier, which to my mind is an underrated classic of bad literature. It revolves around three Englishmen living a Bohemian lifestyle in Paris who fall for a young Irishwoman named Trilby, whose mentor is a devious foreign type with hypnotic powers named Svengali. It's a heap of melodramatic crap, but the author occasionally goes off on a tangent about his foot fetish or how pretty the youngest Englishman is. At the time of publication, it was immensely popular, so much so that the term "Svengali" and the Trilby hat passed into common usage.

 

[Wish a nigga would]

I have one that isn't NSFW and is on Project Gutenberg. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe's The Sorrows of Young Werther. Whilst the book is still in print in Goethe's native Germany, as far as I know it is no longer in print in the English speaking world and is in public domain.

The reason I am submitting it is that although it is considered a major piece of classic literature, the protagonist is a whiny little pussy. All he does is complain, in particular about a girl. The ending is pretty damn annoying too.

I vote for this for the Kiwi Farms book club.

 

[Cunty Boo Boo]

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte.

Literally just a book about horrible people doing horrible things and not understanding why they're all so unhappy. There's also a really lame ghost story for two seconds.

 

[LagoonaBlue]

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte.

Literally just a book about horrible people doing horrible things and not understanding why they're all so unhappy. There's also a really lame ghost story for two seconds.

Heathcliff was unhappy because he didn't get to marry Cathy.
Cathy was unhappy because she didn't get to marry Heathcliff.

It spawned a great song by Kate Bush though.