Ok, so I just wrote a little intro to a story set in my shitty Mary Sue Universe.
Do with this what you will. Comments, criticism, ferocious ratings of Atsimu, whatever floats your boat. If it's sufficiently enjoyed I might write the next chapter. Also, I'm sure Phil intends for his country to be continental, but I wanted to change that so I could do whatever I wanted with it.
X1: Hoovy Rain
Briefing
“Australatina,” Dr. Parker began, “I’m sure you’ve heard of it. It’s that pathetic little volcanic stain on the map down near South America, at the intersection of the Pacific, Nazca, and Cocos plates.” A holographic display, situated in the middle of a conference table in the middle of the room, clicked itself online. It etched a globe, an image of the planet, out of thin beams of blue-green light. The spectral globe zoomed itself onto a small location in the Pacific Ocean. A set of islands were visible. At the right of the zoomed image was the famed Galapagos Archipelago, the chain of islands where Charles Darwin deduced his theory of Evolution through Natural Selection. The island to the left was a jagged little crack of volcanic rock that had sprung up in the last thirty years. This is what Dr. Parker, Director of Operations of the Institute of Applied Super-Sciences, was referring to.
He pointed to the holographic island. “Shortly after it erupted from the ocean and cooled,” he continued, “a set of unsavory figures began trying to perform some… less than ethical experiments. They figured they would be free from prying eyes, that is until US Marines stormed the island and scared them off. They left a few trashy conventional weapons. FN FALs, Glocks, what have you. They even had a Stinger.”
Tobias Janes, the agent given the code-number 1X (X-Teen), rolled his eyes. “Yeah, and what does this have to do with us?” He asked. He was usually far more composed, but given how pathetic the circumstances were he was becoming impatient. “We deal with special interests, Doc. Belligerent aliens. Genetic monsters let loose. Orbital fucking lasers controlled by lizard-men. Why are we worried about an island with some guns in a shed?”
Dr. Parker adjusted his glasses. “Because of what happened eight years ago, Tobias. Remember? When we caught the world’s attention?”
Tobias remembered the day well. The eighth of July, 2008. Gobi Desert. A massive battle between the paramilitary forces of the IASS and the advance guard of the Illuminati. The IASS won through, killed the Council of Thirteen, and (covertly) earned the title of Illuminati. The eyes of the world were on them, and they thus had to begin a program of gradual transparency and bleeding advanced technology (sometimes of alien origin) into the market.
“Yeah, and?” Tobias replied.
“Well,” Dr. Parker answered, “As we were essentially hogging the attention of the news companies, someone brought a group of followers onto the island, and began a pseudo-communist micronation.”
The holographic representation of Australatina moved further to the left, as the Galapagos faded out into a mess of photons which reconfigured into a data profile of the tiny nation’s dictator.
“Philip Haskins-Delici.” Dr. Parker scoffed. “The ‘Great Leader’ of Australatina. Of course, he doesn’t go by his birth name anymore. He frequently changes his name. First he was Ahuiviya Harel. Now he’s Isabel Araujo. He’s… a special case.”
The thick, buck-toothed visage shone before Tobias, full color with a bluish tinge characteristic of holographic display. With the detail in the hologram, on par to at least 720P definition, Tobias could tell that the porcine proletariat poser clearly didn’t wash often, or at all. The brief examination generated a psychosomatic reaction in him, and he nearly retched from almost being able to smell the rancid stench that he could only imagine emanated from him.
“So,” Tobias inquired, “How the hell did a… guy… like this manage to get enough people to establish a micronation? I refuse to believe he could possess any sort of charisma-“
“She.”
“Wh-what?”
“’She’ is apparently transgender. And trans-ethnic.”
“Ok, fuck that. Not even close. And just what is trans-ethnic? How does that work?”
“It doesn’t. ‘She’ is clearly a glutton for attention. Some rudimentary attempts at psychological analysis of ‘her’ few interactions with the rest of the world indicate some traces of Antisocial Personality Disorder and Narcissism. A mass of college dropouts who never got very far in their Political Science classes joined up because of his promises of a Communist utopia. Now, here’s where the really interesting stuff starts.”
Tobias sat up in his chair, his interest piquing. “Ok, so this IS a special interest issue?” he inquired.
“Only if you spell special ‘S-P-E-S-H-U-L’,” Dr. Parker confirmed. “He’s clearly autistic. And not like you. You’re actually capable of doing things. This… Thing... is a complete mess. It can’t do a damn thing. SciUnion agents and Aerial vehicles with no serial numbers have been sighted delivering technology to Australatina. RapidStruction tech, raw ore and other materials that I suspect are fresh from the black market, and directed energy devices are among the items delivered.”
Tobias remembered SciUnion as well. A profit-driven corporation he’s engaged before, which relies on piracy, theft, and agreements with less than benevolent extraterrestrials in order to gain advanced technology. It then sells this untested tech to cult-like groups and small nations desperate for attention and automatic credibility. This usually backfires for any number of reasons, from the technology being faulty and exploding in the user’s face moments after activation, to the user being untrained in a clearly sophisticated mechanism’s manner of operation, after which results may vary. The company was owned and operated by Solomon Noblefuse, an enigmatic man with a bizarre fetish for electricity.
“Now that’s strange,” Tobias remarked. “They usually like US Dollars handed over immediately. Where would a tiny micronation run by an unwashed pig get the sort of funds for SciUnion to agree to hand over stuff?”
“That’s not all,” Dr. Parker said, “We’ve received these clips over the last six days…”
His fingers danced across a light field, flashes of light corresponding to where his fingertips fell. The holographic display erased both the profile of Haskins and the image of his island ‘paradise’, and reorganized as a video clip of Australatina soldiers patrolling and meeting with SciUnion operatives and dealers. The soldiers wore berets and thick, bulky brown armor. Whilst watching the clips Tobias noticed a few strange things.
The first thing he noticed was the weapons the tranny troopers boasted with an utter lack of firearms safety procedure. They were a variety of laser rifle (a misnomer to be sure) that he encountered in his dealings with SciUnion forces. A selective fire weapon powered by a strange u-shaped cartridge featuring battery and gas reservoir, it was capable of thin sustained beam, brief rapid bursts, or a highly battery-taxing (and even more highly destructive) fire mode. This last mode was given the designation amongst IASS personnel as the ‘Japanese What-The-Fuck Beam’.
“That’s the LX-45! What the…” Josh muttered. His next observation was even stranger.
The brown armor portions were visibly shifting. Not from the movement of the soldiers, not from anything that could be considered rational. This was not the sort of compression artifact one would see from a miserable level of image definition one would colloquially refer to as being recorded on a potato. This was high definition imaging. Given the level of technology the IASS was in possession of, one could expect no less.
Tobias blinked and tried to process what was going on. The armor was shifting, going from smooth to geometrically defined. It then further shifted into what could almost look like jagged rock formations. Even despite the sort of technology he encountered on a daily basis, he couldn’t quite understand what he was seeing.
“That’s right,” Dr. Parker confirmed, “Morphing armor. And look at this…”
Dr. Parker touched some more light-keys and brought up another clip. This one featured crescent-shaped aircraft, each tip of the crescent glittering with a yellow gem-like energy weapon. It lifted off vertically and shot off into the distance. In the left corner, a SciUnion dealer could be seen talking to Haskins, apparently giving details as to the capabilities of the vehicle. The clip skipped to an image of an American city, where a shape could be seen coming into vision. It had the same design and shape as the craft previously seen lifting off.
“Ok,” Tobias blurted, his hands raising to shoulder level, “So SciUnion is giving them fucking Edgefighters, too? What asshole mercenaries did they get them from? Not to mention flying over American cities… Is Phil trying to make himself out to be a threat?”
“With that weaponry, he already is,” Dr. Parker responded. “Which brings us to your mission objectives. We obviously can’t let SciUnion get away with this. We know what this technology is capable of, even in the hands of the utterly incompetent. Usually these sorts of tiny nations blow themselves up when they are equipped with Chrono-Bombs but someone’s behind the scenes here. There’s a level of competency we haven’t seen before, and even more strange, Haskins hasn’t blown himself up by mishandling the technology. Not to mention the technology has been remarkably stable, given both groups’ track records.
“First off, you’re going in solo. This is politically sensitive, even for a shitty, jagged potato of a micronation. You’ll take an ‘appropriated’ Edgefighter that you brought down a year ago. We managed to repair it and enhance the cloaking device, but you’ll have to lay off the weapons. If you absolutely need them, you’ll have to route it from the cloaking. Dark Austeon tech is kind of strange like that, no matter what we do. Second, when you get on the ground, absolutely no lethal weapons modes. You still have the Tesla Spike chip for your pistol and I’m sure you still know the Volt Torrent Blade-Art, do you not? Killing even one person is grounds for an international incident. Besides, we’d like you to tag them with short range Warp beacons for… ‘science’. The long range Warp releases too much of a detectable signature, you’d be noticed on the spot even if only by our other belligerent parties of interest. I, for one, want to learn what’s up with that morphing armor.”
“A straight-up Snake Op, huh?” Tobias snickered. “I’m kinda rusty with those. Can’t complain though. Gives me a chance at practicing my Hayter voice.”
Do with this what you will. Comments, criticism, ferocious ratings of Atsimu, whatever floats your boat. If it's sufficiently enjoyed I might write the next chapter. Also, I'm sure Phil intends for his country to be continental, but I wanted to change that so I could do whatever I wanted with it.
X1: Hoovy Rain
Briefing
“Australatina,” Dr. Parker began, “I’m sure you’ve heard of it. It’s that pathetic little volcanic stain on the map down near South America, at the intersection of the Pacific, Nazca, and Cocos plates.”
He pointed to the holographic island. “Shortly after it erupted from the ocean and cooled,” he continued, “a set of unsavory figures began trying to perform some… less than ethical experiments. They figured they would be free from prying eyes, that is until US Marines stormed the island and scared them off. They left a few trashy conventional weapons. FN FALs, Glocks, what have you. They even had a Stinger.”
Tobias Janes, the agent given the code-number 1X (X-Teen), rolled his eyes. “Yeah, and what does this have to do with us?” He asked. He was usually far more composed, but given how pathetic the circumstances were he was becoming impatient. “We deal with special interests, Doc. Belligerent aliens. Genetic monsters let loose. Orbital fucking lasers controlled by lizard-men. Why are we worried about an island with some guns in a shed?”
Dr. Parker adjusted his glasses. “Because of what happened eight years ago, Tobias. Remember? When we caught the world’s attention?”
Tobias remembered the day well. The eighth of July, 2008. Gobi Desert. A massive battle between the paramilitary forces of the IASS and the advance guard of the Illuminati. The IASS won through, killed the Council of Thirteen, and (covertly) earned the title of Illuminati. The eyes of the world were on them, and they thus had to begin a program of gradual transparency and bleeding advanced technology (sometimes of alien origin) into the market.
“Yeah, and?” Tobias replied.
“Well,” Dr. Parker answered, “As we were essentially hogging the attention of the news companies, someone brought a group of followers onto the island, and began a pseudo-communist micronation.”
The holographic representation of Australatina moved further to the left, as the Galapagos faded out into a mess of photons which reconfigured into a data profile of the tiny nation’s dictator.
“Philip Haskins-Delici.” Dr. Parker scoffed. “The ‘Great Leader’ of Australatina. Of course, he doesn’t go by his birth name anymore. He frequently changes his name. First he was Ahuiviya Harel. Now he’s Isabel Araujo. He’s… a special case.”
The thick, buck-toothed visage shone before Tobias, full color with a bluish tinge characteristic of holographic display. With the detail in the hologram, on par to at least 720P definition, Tobias could tell that the porcine proletariat poser clearly didn’t wash often, or at all. The brief examination generated a psychosomatic reaction in him, and he nearly retched from almost being able to smell the rancid stench that he could only imagine emanated from him.
“So,” Tobias inquired, “How the hell did a… guy… like this manage to get enough people to establish a micronation? I refuse to believe he could possess any sort of charisma-“
“She.”
“Wh-what?”
“’She’ is apparently transgender. And trans-ethnic.”
“Ok, fuck that. Not even close. And just what is trans-ethnic? How does that work?”
“It doesn’t. ‘She’ is clearly a glutton for attention. Some rudimentary attempts at psychological analysis of ‘her’ few interactions with the rest of the world indicate some traces of Antisocial Personality Disorder and Narcissism. A mass of college dropouts who never got very far in their Political Science classes joined up because of his promises of a Communist utopia. Now, here’s where the really interesting stuff starts.”
Tobias sat up in his chair, his interest piquing. “Ok, so this IS a special interest issue?” he inquired.
“Only if you spell special ‘S-P-E-S-H-U-L’,” Dr. Parker confirmed. “He’s clearly autistic. And not like you. You’re actually capable of doing things. This… Thing... is a complete mess. It can’t do a damn thing. SciUnion agents and Aerial vehicles with no serial numbers have been sighted delivering technology to Australatina. RapidStruction tech, raw ore and other materials that I suspect are fresh from the black market, and directed energy devices are among the items delivered.”
Tobias remembered SciUnion as well. A profit-driven corporation he’s engaged before, which relies on piracy, theft, and agreements with less than benevolent extraterrestrials in order to gain advanced technology. It then sells this untested tech to cult-like groups and small nations desperate for attention and automatic credibility. This usually backfires for any number of reasons, from the technology being faulty and exploding in the user’s face moments after activation, to the user being untrained in a clearly sophisticated mechanism’s manner of operation, after which results may vary. The company was owned and operated by Solomon Noblefuse, an enigmatic man with a bizarre fetish for electricity.
“Now that’s strange,” Tobias remarked. “They usually like US Dollars handed over immediately. Where would a tiny micronation run by an unwashed pig get the sort of funds for SciUnion to agree to hand over stuff?”
“That’s not all,” Dr. Parker said, “We’ve received these clips over the last six days…”
His fingers danced across a light field, flashes of light corresponding to where his fingertips fell. The holographic display erased both the profile of Haskins and the image of his island ‘paradise’, and reorganized as a video clip of Australatina soldiers patrolling and meeting with SciUnion operatives and dealers. The soldiers wore berets and thick, bulky brown armor. Whilst watching the clips Tobias noticed a few strange things.
The first thing he noticed was the weapons the tranny troopers boasted with an utter lack of firearms safety procedure. They were a variety of laser rifle (a misnomer to be sure) that he encountered in his dealings with SciUnion forces. A selective fire weapon powered by a strange u-shaped cartridge featuring battery and gas reservoir, it was capable of thin sustained beam, brief rapid bursts, or a highly battery-taxing (and even more highly destructive) fire mode. This last mode was given the designation amongst IASS personnel as the ‘Japanese What-The-Fuck Beam’.
“That’s the LX-45! What the…” Josh muttered. His next observation was even stranger.
The brown armor portions were visibly shifting. Not from the movement of the soldiers, not from anything that could be considered rational. This was not the sort of compression artifact one would see from a miserable level of image definition one would colloquially refer to as being recorded on a potato. This was high definition imaging. Given the level of technology the IASS was in possession of, one could expect no less.
Tobias blinked and tried to process what was going on. The armor was shifting, going from smooth to geometrically defined. It then further shifted into what could almost look like jagged rock formations. Even despite the sort of technology he encountered on a daily basis, he couldn’t quite understand what he was seeing.
“That’s right,” Dr. Parker confirmed, “Morphing armor. And look at this…”
Dr. Parker touched some more light-keys and brought up another clip. This one featured crescent-shaped aircraft, each tip of the crescent glittering with a yellow gem-like energy weapon. It lifted off vertically and shot off into the distance. In the left corner, a SciUnion dealer could be seen talking to Haskins, apparently giving details as to the capabilities of the vehicle. The clip skipped to an image of an American city, where a shape could be seen coming into vision. It had the same design and shape as the craft previously seen lifting off.
“Ok,” Tobias blurted, his hands raising to shoulder level, “So SciUnion is giving them fucking Edgefighters, too? What asshole mercenaries did they get them from? Not to mention flying over American cities… Is Phil trying to make himself out to be a threat?”
“With that weaponry, he already is,” Dr. Parker responded. “Which brings us to your mission objectives. We obviously can’t let SciUnion get away with this. We know what this technology is capable of, even in the hands of the utterly incompetent. Usually these sorts of tiny nations blow themselves up when they are equipped with Chrono-Bombs but someone’s behind the scenes here. There’s a level of competency we haven’t seen before, and even more strange, Haskins hasn’t blown himself up by mishandling the technology. Not to mention the technology has been remarkably stable, given both groups’ track records.
“First off, you’re going in solo. This is politically sensitive, even for a shitty, jagged potato of a micronation. You’ll take an ‘appropriated’ Edgefighter that you brought down a year ago. We managed to repair it and enhance the cloaking device, but you’ll have to lay off the weapons. If you absolutely need them, you’ll have to route it from the cloaking. Dark Austeon tech is kind of strange like that, no matter what we do. Second, when you get on the ground, absolutely no lethal weapons modes. You still have the Tesla Spike chip for your pistol and I’m sure you still know the Volt Torrent Blade-Art, do you not? Killing even one person is grounds for an international incident. Besides, we’d like you to tag them with short range Warp beacons for… ‘science’. The long range Warp releases too much of a detectable signature, you’d be noticed on the spot even if only by our other belligerent parties of interest. I, for one, want to learn what’s up with that morphing armor.”
“A straight-up Snake Op, huh?” Tobias snickered. “I’m kinda rusty with those. Can’t complain though. Gives me a chance at practicing my Hayter voice.”
