filler update - I'm on break - no new jokes; joke embargo in place - fuck you -

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DeagleDad420

kiwifarms.net
Filler Update (There are no jokes in this post. Do not read it)

So for the last few weeks I've been suspiciously absent and not for a cool reason, I have a sinus infection and very possibly pneumonia/bronchitis as well as a brain injury... as well as some other, err... health concerns you may have heard of, which I won't discuss here as I don't want to fuel rumors... in any case, I haven't been able to go to work or leave the house or get Internet or do anything, much let alone conduct absurd internet social experiments so consider my jokeslinger career "on pause" for now, I'm on vacation, this is a break in your scheduled programming, Season 2 is over now just wait for Season 3. Sorry. It's very inopportune timing... the whole "reveal" saga is very exciting to me and I have a shitload of plans and things I want to do in the near future with Jace and outside of Jace. BUT season 3 will have to wait... unfortunately I'm a one man army and basically all content comes from either me making it myself or me nagging Robert/"Eli" and I don't have the resources for either at the moment.

Check back in a month maybe? I don't like this either - this is real fucking annoying for me too trust me... not many things can make me upset but boy, not being able to make jokes on the computer really hits me where it hurts, and it's an infringement of my civil rights as a human being, and that's faggot content which is not even realistic if you think about it dude. I really do feel deep sorrow in my heart of hearts that I'm not able to spend time with you, my beloved, my fans, my precious, but we will be together soon so keep the flames of hope lit in your heart, my dearest.

Anyway while I'm on vacation it would be cool if I could get as many people as possible to impersonate me on as many websites as possible, to fill the gap in people's hearts and minds. Stand in for me... Say really crazy shit, including things I would never say, topics of race and politics are a bonus. Start horrible rumors and misinformation and be really obnoxious... This is a serious request (or is it? *twilight zone theme song plays*)

Next order of business, here are some scraps/ideas from my brain that you guys will probably see within the next few months. Just the video titles:

-"Training Camp" with Eli
-Wupocalypse (est. 30mins of footage)
-Dank Swords cut test demonstration feat. ritalin abuse
-Carkour

I don't announce these for the sake of hype, but more like... as a proof of concept that there is more to come, and the PKD saga isn't going to slowly fizzle out of existence like some internet comedy vaporware amid promises of future content. There are also more ideas too besides those but the above ones are just the ones that are already filmed and we just need the finishing touches on them. We might have to re-shoot the ritalin sword vid though. While we were filming Robert chimped out and hurt himself with one of the stainless steel chinese anime swords we bought with your internet comedy donation money. The sword has pictures of skulls on it too.

What else...

Oh yeah the "caught tyce at mcdunalds" thread is not canon.. or at least it's not the start of some major plot thread... Sorry I know everyone's starved for new content but there won't be any for a lil bit

While I'm thinking out loud... me and Robert have our eyes on Gathering of the Juggalos but tickets are like $150 PER PERSON and $750 is a lot for a 20 year old exceptional individual like me to spend on a funny joke video series. Robert pitched the idea that we could crowdfund but then "Eli" came up with the idea that we could just perform a sneaking mission instead. He pointed out that it'd be really funny if we tried to sneak into gathering of the juggalos, since AFAIK they're usually on massive acres of wilderness surrounded on all sides by trees and nobody would hire fucking security for an event like that... so we could theoretically just pull a MGS3-esque infiltration by hiking a few miles or so through the woods until we hit trailers... we'll know when we've arrived by the aroma of drugs and the sound of unlistenable music. The infiltration is my favorite idea and probably/maybe what we're going to decide to do mostly because it's a really dangerous and stupid idea with a lot of potentials to end horribly. Therefore it will be more cinematic. Thoughts?

I can't think of anything else to add... just wanted to check in and say hi and hit up the homies. This is probably, really, because I get separation anxiety from the internet because I have low self esteem and no friends offline, so like, as a person with narcissistic personality disorder I have to derive all my self-worth from internet strangers, who validate me by pressing buttons on their keyboards. I wish I was born as a hot girl with big honkin' titties, and cool hair colour which was also dyed a cool cour like lime green, and then I could go on a live stream website like twitch.tv, and go and show off my big honkin' titties and play video games, and say words, and then people would send me money... and give me attention, so I would feel whole again and I would be able to sleep at night. Unfortinaetly I'm not a hot girl gamer, and our gods in heaven above have cursed me to be born into another body, and I dont be a cool gamer who gets money (and respect which is an infinitely superior form of currency, which may be why some experts call respect "the bitcoin of the soul") and instead I'm a balding autistic male feminist, worldwide video game griefing expert and anime specialist.

Uh what else... I probably won't log in here for another two weeks so if you really really need to hit me up for whatever reason email me, but like, I probably won't answer unless you're sending me more donations... In fact I might start a new policy, that I only answer fan emails if you are a confirmed patreon donator. Just spitballin here... just thinkin out loud okay. Think of how many hypothetical, dollars, that I could receive from this, it's just making my mouth wet, with water. That's a cool feeling in my brain, I should think about money more, because it's fun, to think of all the money I COULD be getting, all the time, which I would spend on a wide variety of products tailored to enhance my lifestyle choices, individually, for me and me alone, and nobody else to enjoy, ever.

That's it. I got nothing else today. Thanks.
 
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Boundman

Just another rancher on The Farms.
kiwifarms.net
I would not be surprised if all that Dewritos has coagulated in your brain and given you a Code Red / Chill Heatwave flavoured tumour.

But for real though, I wish you the best, I'll make a tumblr account and make up ridiculous shit in your stead. When you come back, I know it'll be great. Third wave feminism has never had such a visionary and if you die, you'll become a martyr to all us transgender, transabled and polysexuals here on the farms.
 
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DeagleDad420

kiwifarms.net
I would not be surprised if all that Dewritos has coagulated in your brain and given you a Code Red / Chill Heatwave flavoured tumour.

But for real though, I wish you the best, I'll make a tumblr account and make up ridiculous shit in your stead. When you come back, I know it'll be great. Third wave feminism has never had such a visionary and if you die, you'll become a martyr to all us transgender, transabled and polysexuals here on the farms.
Don't actually make fun of feminism/women's issues though. That's not cool...
 

Boundman

Just another rancher on The Farms.
kiwifarms.net
Don't actually make fun of feminism/women's issues though. That's not cool...
Are you suggesting that I think transgender/transabled/polysexuals are a joke and are not legitimate identities? To say that is to figuratively and LITERALLY erase the voices of those who are already silenced. I initially responded to your post because I believed you had fallen to some kind of illness/disability, and I wished to avoid being ableist as it is one of my triggers, but now I can tell that you are too drunk on your privilege as a cishet white male living in the United States, the birthplace of misogyny. As you can tell by my avatar, I heavily identify with a proud anime womyn, and by suggesting I was making a joke of womyns issues, you are basically saying my voice isn't to be taken seriously.
 
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MerriedManJr

Analchest Warier
kiwifarms.net
Jace needs to make a serious effort to become the next leader of gamergate, imo. That means making 15 minute Sargon-style videos, with pictures and shit, about how dumb tumblr/sjws are every week. And hosting one of those google+ circlejerks they have all the time.
 

Amo Bishop Roden

The Turquoise Hexagon Sun
kiwifarms.net
While I'm thinking out loud... me and Robert have our eyes on Gathering of the Juggalos but tickets are like $150 PER PERSON and $750 is a lot for a 20 year old exceptional individual like me to spend on a funny joke video series. Robert pitched the idea that we could crowdfund but then "Eli" came up with the idea that we could just perform a sneaking mission instead. He pointed out that it'd be really funny if we tried to sneak into gathering of the juggalos, since AFAIK they're usually on massive acres of wilderness surrounded on all sides by trees and nobody would hire fucking security for an event like that... so we could theoretically just pull a MGS3-esque infiltration by hiking a few miles or so through the woods until we hit trailers... we'll know when we've arrived by the aroma of drugs and the sound of unlistenable music. The infiltration is my favorite idea and probably/maybe what we're going to decide to do mostly because it's a really dangerous and stupid idea with a lot of potentials to end horribly. Therefore it will be more cinematic. Thoughts?
My thoughts are that this would be absolutely perfect and I cannot possibly wait for it if this does happen
 

SkeletonBias420

Mountain of Molten Lust
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Get better soon, Commander. I imagine infiltrating the Gathering of the Juggalos would not be that difficult, reportedly shitting along the perimeter was their brilliant security plan a few years ago.
So does this give me the green light to write the concept of an Eli pick-up PUA ebook? I can write the concept and the playboi can edit it to his specifications. I also did the research on how to publish an e-book and make it look like this website: http://www.bangguides.com/game/bang/
I love this idea. Eli on OKCupid was hilarious and is a great way to get him interacting with the "real world" and these PUA types seem ripe for a :ruse:.
 

Splendid Meat Sticks

Castigat ridendo mores
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I'm already making some OkCupid profiles for key DN members, if only to see what kind of people they get matched with, although I'll roleplay as them on OKC if that's what the forum wants to see.
 
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