filler update - I'm on break - no new jokes; joke embargo in place - fuck you -

[Splendid]

Meet Jace's first match: an overweight, unemployed high school dropout whose main hobbies are penciling on her eyebrows, video games, drugs, and something that makes her skin look like a fucking barbie doll.

I'm probably going to do Tyce sometime tomorrow.

 

[blackie toy]

Is someone working on a Forgotten Bible? That shit needs to be printed like on a letterpress and bound in snakeskin or something prete sik like that.

 

[hats]

Meet Jace's first match: an overweight, unemployed high school dropout whose main hobbies are penciling on her eyebrows, video games, drugs, and something that makes her skin look like a fucking barbie doll.
View attachment 22505 View attachment 22506
I'm probably going to do Tyce sometime tomorrow.

I'll do Tyce if you want, they usually ban people who have multiple accounts.

 

[Splendid]

I'll do Tyce if you want, they usually ban people who have multiple accounts.

They never seem to figure it out. And there's also good old ipconfig /release ipconfig /renew , but if you want to do Tyce, go ahead. Be sure to interact with some people too. I plan to see what these women (and some men, and anything in between) do when contacted by Mr. Connors tomorrow.

Does anyone else have any ideas for good websites for the Deagle Nation crew? I think LinkedIn would be pretty funny, but we'd have to avoid listing any military-specific skills or we'll get plastered all over those military faker websites.

DeviantArt is another possibility, and I think that we can get a lot of attention with very little effort, especially if we just go lowest common denominator right away and cater to the furry crowd or something.

 

[Alex Krycek]

Should Kyle get an OkCupid? I sort of think it would be a lot of fun to play a Hippie-Stoner Vegan on the online.

 

[Splendid]

Should Kyle get an OkCupid? I sort of think it would be a lot of fun to play a Hippie-Stoner Vegan on the online.

Everyone should get an OkCupid. It's really easy and you can just abandon them if you get bored.
And if you keep answering questions, they eventually get really dumb/weird/funny in context. I just answered one where I basically said Jace won't fuck anyone who doesn't believe that every man and woman should carry a gun at all times.

 

[Alex Krycek]

Dude that's awesome. Need to do some research. Kyle's last name was King if I remember correctly from the last livestream. I also think Jace said Kyle was Jewish in the Christ-Zone. From there I could just rewatch the videos featuring/mentioning Kyle and make shit up based around that.

 

[Splendid]

Dude that's awesome. Need to do some research. Kyle's last name was King if I remember correctly from the last livestream. I also think Jace said Kyle was Jewish in the Christ-Zone. From there I could just rewatch the videos featuring/mentioning Kyle and make shit up based around that.

I don't know if they ever officially decided on a lot of Kyle's background story. In the final livestream, they mentioned that he was an "upcoming character" or something like that. If you're lucky, your fanon could become canon.

 

[hats]

They never seem to figure it out. And there's also good old ipconfig /release ipconfig /renew , but if you want to do Tyce, go ahead. Be sure to interact with some people too. I plan to see what these women (and some men, and anything in between) do when contacted by Mr. Connors tomorrow.

Yeah I'll get on it tomorrow.

 

[Alex Krycek]

I don't know if they ever officially decided on a lot of Kyle's background story. In the final livestream, they mentioned that he was an "upcoming character" or something like that. If you're lucky, your fanon could become canon.

The things I can remember off the top of my head about Kyle:

-He's a Vegan, trying to get his cats (at the very least Zebulon) to adopt a Vegan diet.
-He's into mysticism, specifically Karmic concepts and Tarot (which he does with Apples to Apples cards, probably the biggest reason I think of Kyle as memorable.)
-He wasn't a fan of WWE.
-His mom owns a bow.
-He grows really good weed by DN standards.
-Jace said he helped Kyle get started, but I always thought that was more Jace trying to talk himself up.
-Kyle sells Jace and co. drugs, which Gail is highly suspicious of.
-He's let Jace crash with him a few times and picked him up and took him to the hospital when Jace crashed his car.
-Kyle initially sided with Tyce in the DN Civil war, but later signed a non-aggression pact with Jace.

So far my character portrait for a dating website would talk a ton about Veganism, Herbalism, fermentation, compassion, 420, video games, New Age while still remaining highly materialist, a desire to move out to Colorado or the far west, and maybe an enjoyment of typical stoner bands like 311 and Phish. I might make him a fan of some of my obscure Indie music to make him feel a bit more authentic and likable. Now I just need a more humorous angle to work. Might make him really pretentious, typical hipster.

EDIT: Abandoning this idea so that I can focus all my efforts on Paul Bunker.

 

[Enig]

As someone who is still unable to stop saying "that's sick" out loud in reality and has the ability to deliver wording-accurate copying of Francis E. Dec, imitating a virtual commander shouldn't be hard. This job is going to be sick...

...yyyeeeessss.

 

[Splendid]

Instead of DA, I'm putting Jace on Pintrest. It's pretty interesting so far.

EDIT: If anyone else wants to help me upload shit onto Jace's boards, or make a new board for him entirely, give me your email address or Pintrest account (only use a fake one, obviously) and i'll invite you.

 

[iloveallah]

sneaking into the juggalo HQ like alex jones would be realistic as fuck.

 

[blackie toy]

Pastor Faggot should get on ChristianMingle or something.

 

[DeagleDad420]

this is your commander speaking... your field orders are basically as follows dude:

as well as impersonating me... your mission objectives should include creating several other alter-egos to fill the gaps in our personell. impersonating jace and tyce and eli can only go so far. they can only have so many accounts, so your orders should also include the objective of creating similarly absurd characters from the same demographic/universe as DN who are fans of deagle nation online or know them in real life. It is up to you to help grow the movement. Deagle Nation is open source and we want as many side characters and background characters as possible, all interacting online in a believable and in-character manner to fool as many people as possible, this is so that our storyline angle of "jace becomes lolcow big boss and leads a massive cult of trailer park boys characters" will happen. Do not worry too much about contradicting each other because that can be explained or handwaved in any number of ways, misinformation is a good thing as long as there's enough of it out there.

That's all - i have faith enough of you will keep the dream alive to keep things "interesting" until i am able to return from beyond the veil. Semper Fidelis.

So does this give me the green light to write the concept of an Eli pick-up PUA ebook? I can write the concept and the playboi can edit it to his specifications. I also did the research on how to publish an e-book and make it look like this website: http://www.bangguides.com/game/bang/

please do this dude, write as much as you want go crazy... we'll meet up and put finishing touches on it when im up to it. Write as much as you want or as little as u want i just want to be able to do the quality assurance angle at the end before publishing

Is someone working on a Forgotten Bible? That shit needs to be printed like on a letterpress and bound in snakeskin or something prete sik like that.

if anyone wants to fan-write the Forgotten Bible i DO have some ideas, where you guys could get started... Seriously even if you guys just write excerpts, I'll post them/make them canon/include them... or you can... I just want the Forgotten Bible to exist, but I'm only one (highly fucking insane) person and I have a LOT of other things that I desperately want to exist, each vying for my attention, like starved children - so I must prioritize, but if you want to help along the Forgotten Bible... and donate your time and manpower to A Good Cause (of laughter) then read on. I'm too laid out to do it right now but here's my idea of how we can make that a reality, if anyone wants to try their hand:

The easiest and possibly funniest way to create the FORGOTTEN BIBLE would be to copy+paste the entire king james bible, then switch some of the parts around with different parts/interpritations of the bible (copypasta-ing them all to avoid tedious work) so it's like a bizzare mishmash of a few dozen different fringe christian/catholic ideologies that neither clash nor mesh with each other, but sometimes contradict each other... then, once that's done, go back through the book and manually write some really crazy shit in the margins... stuff about how the Prophet must have at least 10 wives at all times, and your required to donate a certain amount per month in order to get into heaven, like a subscription fee to an MMO,and some other insane/crazy cult shit... steal ideas from scientology and southern isolationist mormon cults whenever possible

That's my concept anyway

Does anyone else have any ideas for good websites for the Deagle Nation crew? I think LinkedIn would be pretty funny, but we'd have to avoid listing any military-specific skills or we'll get plastered all over those military faker websites.

That's not a bad thing

 

[introman]

"Does anyone else have any ideas for good websites for the Deagle Nation crew? I think LinkedIn would be pretty funny, but we'd have to avoid listing any military-specific skills or we'll get plastered all over those military faker websites."

Try lifestyle coaching/Pick up artistry.

Also, writing that ebook dog. Just add them pictures and stylistic shit you're good with.

 

[DeagleDad420]

oh also one last thing before I leave, here's some ideas for character/website pairings you guys can work with if you want to make accounts. If you're going to fill one of these shoes, please post in the thread so we know not to make 2 accounts for the same person.

Tyce Andrews:
-Yahoo! Answers (you'll keep getting banned so be ready to rereg)
-http://vnnforum.com/
-any drug forum; literally just google "weed forum" and pick one
-vampirefreaks
-anything edgy
-airsoft forums
-vaguely anarchist/criminal websites and forums that dont actually have any criminals or illegal shit in them but are filled almost entirely with 16 year olds roleplaying as criminals on their moms macbooks (there are a few of them but u have to look, dont know any off the top of my head) and sharing fake pipe bomb building manuals and shit with each other

Eli Taylor:
-literally any website where you can interact with female girls
-idk
-Omegle (omegle works with any character really)
-i already have a runescape account for him sorry
-we haven't thought about his web presence much so just experiment

Jace Connors:
-any first person shooter video game ever made. For ultimate bonus points make a soundboard of me raging and saying WOOOW FUCKING UNREALISTIC WOOOW THATS HACKS and play it whenever you die, and go and chimp out as jace in cs:go matches. If i have enough free time i'll make a soundboard myself.
-weed forums
-some political forum where he can go and argue absurd FACT ZONE politics with people
-street racing/car enthusiast forums
-any "tactical" website. AR15.com is a really easy one. Just go there and post horrible misinformed shit about how you're totally Tom Clancy IRL. Google "mall ninja" and read the story for an idea of how this is done.
-Teen chat rooms
-airsoft forums, airsplat.com, etc
-bodybuilding/muscle forums, post shirtless pics of me and shit there
-Fanfiction.net
-web roleplaying communities he'd be interested in (furry shit, military shit, etc) <----this one is for experts only and it has a massive potential for laughs if done right... experts only HARD MODE trolling

IT SHOULD GO WITHOUT SAYING that rule #1 is document everything funny you've done and post it here because you WILL be banned from these sites if your doing it right.. so get caps before then. Screencaps if people react or if you make a funny profile or some shit

 

[blackie toy]

if anyone wants to fan-write the Forgotten Bible i DO have some ideas, where you guys could get started... Seriously even if you guys just write excerpts, I'll post them/make them canon/include them... or you can... I just want the Forgotten Bible to exist, but I'm only one (highly fucking insane) person and I have a LOT of other things that I desperately want to exist, each vying for my attention, like starved children - so I must prioritize, but if you want to help along the Forgotten Bible... and donate your time and manpower to A Good Cause (of laughter) then read on. I'm too laid out to do it right now but here's my idea of how we can make that a reality, if anyone wants to try their hand:

The easiest and possibly funniest way to create the FORGOTTEN BIBLE would be to copy+paste the entire king james bible, then switch some of the parts around with different parts/interpritations of the bible (copypasta-ing them all to avoid tedious work) so it's like a bizzare mishmash of a few dozen different fringe christian/catholic ideologies that neither clash nor mesh with each other, but sometimes contradict each other... then, once that's done, go back through the book and manually write some really crazy shit in the margins... stuff about how the Prophet must have at least 10 wives at all times, and your required to donate a certain amount per month in order to get into heaven, like a subscription fee to an MMO,and some other insane/crazy cult shit... steal ideas from scientology and southern isolationist mormon cults whenever possible

That's my concept anyway

If someone writes this, I will finally have an excuse to learn medieval binding techniques. The Forgotten Bible will clearly be bound in some kind of heavily distressed leather, with the most insane headbands ever conceived. Possibly old shoe leather sewn together and pressed for the cover. The font would either be comic sans or some Fraktur font (because Pastor Faggot believes that the Antiqua typefaces were invented by Jews to disconnect the Germanic peoples from their previous written works, and thereby rewrite history).

That or if someone has an old mimeograph it could be printed on that and just saddle stitched like a cheap shitty pamphlet. Basically the shit you used to see thirty years ago.

 

[That's Our Lolcow]

http://vampirefreaks.com/TyceWarrier996

feg.

 

[Splendid]

I was actually thinking it would be funny if CIAdude420 was like 15 years old, and Jace still believed that he was actually in the CIA.
And I'm going to make some fake Pastor Faggot comics that look like Chick Tracts in a few hours that detail the evils of psychology and how only faith healing can help solve marijuana addiction.

Would it also be funny to impersonate some especially stupid or hypocritical weens who try to troll DN?