Money Financhu Crisis / Chris sells his stuff megathread -

What's your favourite Chris excuse for wanting money?


  • Total voters
    1,127

Super Colon Blow

Sucks and blows at the same time!
kiwifarms.net
Trying to catch in on her son's e-fame (or notoriety), that would be.

Which leads to the question: to what degree is she equally deluded as CWC w/r/t his "fame" and "fans" being IRL legit true and honest appreciators of his ars gratia artis? Or to what extent does she see it as capitalizing on his notoriety for his failure in life and her failure as a parent, whether this be a desperate move or a cynical one?
I vote cynical. She knows he's a fucking tard. She also knows it can be cashed in.
 

Optimus Prime

Resident KF Transformers Expert
kiwifarms.net
I don't know if it's been suggested yet (I've not really been following Chris, he's gotten super boring for me), but how much of this is actually for the van, and how much of this might be for a certain super expensive product?

I mean, there's no way Chris doesn't know about the nearly $600 Unicron thing right now.
 
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Reactions: Lesbian Sleepover

Rogowski

one tree per nerd
kiwifarms.net
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The GFM campaign still has only one donor: Magi-chan.
It's amazing that Chris periodically brings up the fact that his dad was a well accomplished engineer as proof of his intelligence and his competence in the fields of science and technology because most engineers would have no problem pulling the tires off a car while it's on jack stands and swapping out the brake pads. It's not fucking rocket science and it saves an assload of money when you're able to avoid labor costs and the markup on parts that come from letting the shop purchase them for you and then raise the price on them.

The muffler job would be more difficult as you would need a hydraulic lift for the car in order to get under it when you're as fat as Chris is.

And yes, you're welcome to rate me optimistic as fuck here because I know Chris would never get his hands greasy and calloused unless someone told him the wormhole to the sister dimension was hidden in his engine block.
 

Spooky Bones

🦴 🎺 🦴
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I don't know if it's been suggested yet (I've not really been following Chris, he's gotten super boring for me), but how much of this is actually for the van, and how much of this might be for a certain super expensive product?

I mean, there's no way Chris doesn't know about the nearly $600 Unicron thing right now.
I had to look that up and I first thought you meant Unicorn, but, well, unimpressed. Imagine if Chris had gotten into Warhammer instead.
 

Optimus Prime

Resident KF Transformers Expert
kiwifarms.net
I had to look that up and I first thought you meant Unicorn, but, well, unimpressed. Imagine if Chris had gotten into Warhammer instead.
Him worshiping a Chaos God (probably Nurgle) would be more sane than his merge bullshit.

I have a feeling it will show up in a video in the background sometime
We won't know for at least two years if so.
 

Super Colon Blow

Sucks and blows at the same time!
kiwifarms.net
It's amazing that Chris periodically brings up the fact that his dad was a well accomplished engineer as proof of his intelligence and his competence in the fields of science and technology because most engineers would have no problem pulling the tires off a car while it's on jack stands and swapping out the brake pads. It's not fucking rocket science and it saves an assload of money when you're able to avoid labor costs and the markup on parts that come from letting the shop purchase them for you and then raise the price on them.

The muffler job would be more difficult as you would need a hydraulic lift for the car in order to get under it when you're as fat as Chris is.

And yes, you're welcome to rate me optimistic as fuck here because I know Chris would never get his hands greasy and calloused unless someone told him the wormhole to the sister dimension was hidden in his engine block.
How about the rotors? Can you DIY rotors or do you need specific (expensive) equipment? And maybe even the calipers. Spouse and I have done many a brake pad but we never thought we could do the rotors. If we can, I want to know!
 

andr0id psycho sho(ker

I destroy internet memes with my creepy stare!
kiwifarms.net
Everyone's talking about Chris favoring one chaos god or another but what about the 5th chaos god that gave rise to all Lolcows, Autismo?

(btw, chris probably favors a mixture of chaos gods given his previous antics, mental state and rage)
 

Oskar Dirlewanger

i am the black niggers
kiwifarms.net
Everyone's talking about Chris favoring one chaos god or another but what about the 5th chaos god that gave rise to all Lolcows, Autismo?

(btw, chris probably favors a mixture of chaos gods given his previous antics, mental state and rage)
His kill count is zero which is pathetic in the eyes of Khorne (starving cats don't count).

Nurgle blessed him with a mutated vagina taint, and Chris offended Nurgle by taking care of it.

Chris would love to be a champion of Tzeentch, masterfully manipulating slow-in-the-minds to achieve his multidimensional goals all while increasing his psionic abilities... however the brainpower of Chris approximates on the level of a medium potato, so Tzeentch is not really interested.

This leaves Slaanesh. The most deviant thing Chris can do is shit his pants and then take sadistic pleasure from making his sick elderly mother clean the mess. It's not quite Marquis de Sade, but for the lack of anything better, it will do.
 

Duke Nukem

Leader of the Anti-Chad Extermination Squad
kiwifarms.net
I've always thought of Chris as a Nurgle worshiper with a large Slaanesh influence. But really he is the embodiment of Chaos Undivided, if you observe his behavior as a whole.

He just fails so badly at serving any of them that the Dark Gods simply keep him alive for their own amusement. Perhaps that's one of the reasons he never sees any honestly devastating consequences for any of his actions, no matter how foolish or insane.

You know when you were talking about chaos gods I at first thought you were talking about sonic.
You're thinking of Chaos Emeralds. I could sure use some right about now.

But there is a character named Chaos in the Sonic Adventure game, no relation to Warhammer 40,000.
 

Spooky Bones

🦴 🎺 🦴
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Slaaneshi daemonettes ... Khornate warcries ...
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And, of course, bountiful blessings of Papa Nurgs
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(yes I am still tweaking the 1d4chan article)

Hows about a Sonichu themed SM chapter? Would it basically be the Space Corgis but with Sonichus instead of Wolves?