Money Financhu Crisis / Chris sells his stuff megathread -

What's your favourite Chris excuse for wanting money?


  • Total voters
    784

Muscle Bra

I passed high scholl bitch!
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I hope that Null or anyone else on this board does not try to white knight for Chris after all of this goes south. I'd like to see Chris get what he deserves for once.
Chris has the most amazing ability to inspire pity in people when he absolutely doesn’t deserve it. While I hope Dear Leader learned his lesson and is going to stay far away from this one, I can pretty much guarantee that *someone* is going to step up and help Chris out of this mess.

Whether it is going to be Sarah and Steve, some other Farmer, some rando from Facebook/Twitter, or even El Capitan (who is totally serious that this is the last time he’s ever going to help out, he really means it this time), Chris will get the help he needs (but doesn’t deserve).
 

andr0id psycho sho(ker

I destroy internet memes with my creepy stare!
kiwifarms.net
Chris has the most amazing ability to inspire pity in people when he absolutely doesn’t deserve it. While I hope Dear Leader learned his lesson and is going to stay far away from this one, I can pretty much guarantee that *someone* is going to step up and help Chris out of this mess.

Whether it is going to be Sarah and Steve, some other Farmer, some rando from Facebook/Twitter, or even El Capitan (who is totally serious that this is the last time he’s ever going to help out, he really means it this time), Chris will get the help he needs (but doesn’t deserve).
and to add on to that, he'll just piss away that help and get someone new to take their place as life goes on
 

Spooky Bones

Primaris Sonichu
kiwifarms.net
at least 50% Barb's idea.
Trying to catch in on her son's e-fame (or notoriety), that would be.

Which leads to the question: to what degree is she equally deluded as CWC w/r/t his "fame" and "fans" being IRL legit true and honest appreciators of his ars gratia artis? Or to what extent does she see it as capitalizing on his notoriety for his failure in life and her failure as a parent, whether this be a desperate move or a cynical one?
 

Marvin

Christorical Figure
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Trying to catch in on her son's e-fame (or notoriety), that would be.

Which leads to the question: to what degree is she equally deluded as CWC w/r/t his "fame" and "fans" being IRL legit true and honest appreciators of his ars gratia artis? Or to what extent does she see it as capitalizing on his notoriety for his failure in life and her failure as a parent, whether this be a desperate move or a cynical one?
She doesn't care either way. Green is green.
 

Super Colon Blow

Does she have big thingies?
kiwifarms.net
Trying to catch in on her son's e-fame (or notoriety), that would be.

Which leads to the question: to what degree is she equally deluded as CWC w/r/t his "fame" and "fans" being IRL legit true and honest appreciators of his ars gratia artis? Or to what extent does she see it as capitalizing on his notoriety for his failure in life and her failure as a parent, whether this be a desperate move or a cynical one?
I vote cynical. She knows he's a fucking tard. She also knows it can be cashed in.
 

Optimus Prime

Resident KF Transformers Expert
kiwifarms.net
I don't know if it's been suggested yet (I've not really been following Chris, he's gotten super boring for me), but how much of this is actually for the van, and how much of this might be for a certain super expensive product?

I mean, there's no way Chris doesn't know about the nearly $600 Unicron thing right now.
 
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Rogowski

one tree per nerd
kiwifarms.net
View attachment 932319
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The GFM campaign still has only one donor: Magi-chan.
It's amazing that Chris periodically brings up the fact that his dad was a well accomplished engineer as proof of his intelligence and his competence in the fields of science and technology because most engineers would have no problem pulling the tires off a car while it's on jack stands and swapping out the brake pads. It's not fucking rocket science and it saves an assload of money when you're able to avoid labor costs and the markup on parts that come from letting the shop purchase them for you and then raise the price on them.

The muffler job would be more difficult as you would need a hydraulic lift for the car in order to get under it when you're as fat as Chris is.

And yes, you're welcome to rate me optimistic as fuck here because I know Chris would never get his hands greasy and calloused unless someone told him the wormhole to the sister dimension was hidden in his engine block.
 

Spooky Bones

Primaris Sonichu
kiwifarms.net
I don't know if it's been suggested yet (I've not really been following Chris, he's gotten super boring for me), but how much of this is actually for the van, and how much of this might be for a certain super expensive product?

I mean, there's no way Chris doesn't know about the nearly $600 Unicron thing right now.
I had to look that up and I first thought you meant Unicorn, but, well, unimpressed. Imagine if Chris had gotten into Warhammer instead.
 

Optimus Prime

Resident KF Transformers Expert
kiwifarms.net
I had to look that up and I first thought you meant Unicorn, but, well, unimpressed. Imagine if Chris had gotten into Warhammer instead.
Him worshiping a Chaos God (probably Nurgle) would be more sane than his merge bullshit.

I have a feeling it will show up in a video in the background sometime
We won't know for at least two years if so.
 

Super Colon Blow

Does she have big thingies?
kiwifarms.net
It's amazing that Chris periodically brings up the fact that his dad was a well accomplished engineer as proof of his intelligence and his competence in the fields of science and technology because most engineers would have no problem pulling the tires off a car while it's on jack stands and swapping out the brake pads. It's not fucking rocket science and it saves an assload of money when you're able to avoid labor costs and the markup on parts that come from letting the shop purchase them for you and then raise the price on them.

The muffler job would be more difficult as you would need a hydraulic lift for the car in order to get under it when you're as fat as Chris is.

And yes, you're welcome to rate me optimistic as fuck here because I know Chris would never get his hands greasy and calloused unless someone told him the wormhole to the sister dimension was hidden in his engine block.
How about the rotors? Can you DIY rotors or do you need specific (expensive) equipment? And maybe even the calipers. Spouse and I have done many a brake pad but we never thought we could do the rotors. If we can, I want to know!
 

andr0id psycho sho(ker

I destroy internet memes with my creepy stare!
kiwifarms.net
Everyone's talking about Chris favoring one chaos god or another but what about the 5th chaos god that gave rise to all Lolcows, Autismo?

(btw, chris probably favors a mixture of chaos gods given his previous antics, mental state and rage)
 

Oskar Dirlewanger

kiwifarms.net
Everyone's talking about Chris favoring one chaos god or another but what about the 5th chaos god that gave rise to all Lolcows, Autismo?

(btw, chris probably favors a mixture of chaos gods given his previous antics, mental state and rage)
His kill count is zero which is pathetic in the eyes of Khorne (starving cats don't count).

Nurgle blessed him with a mutated vagina taint, and Chris offended Nurgle by taking care of it.

Chris would love to be a champion of Tzeentch, masterfully manipulating slow-in-the-minds to achieve his multidimensional goals all while increasing his psionic abilities... however the brainpower of Chris approximates on the level of a medium potato, so Tzeentch is not really interested.

This leaves Slaanesh. The most deviant thing Chris can do is shit his pants and then take sadistic pleasure from making his sick elderly mother clean the mess. It's not quite Marquis de Sade, but for the lack of anything better, it will do.
 

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