Money Financhu Crisis / Chris sells his stuff megathread

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What's your favourite Chris excuse for wanting money?


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The American Hedgehog

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The economic issues caused by the pandemic seems to be spurring people to cut their Patreon expenses. About a third of Chris's patrons unsubbed in the past few weeks. 10 patrons left giving $120 per month.

Also someone gave him $500 last month.

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Chris spent about $90 on Ebay buying video game stuff this month.

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That's his third copy of Sonic Mania. He also has it for PS4 and Switch.
 

A Grey Cat

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The economic issues caused by the pandemic seems to be spurring people to cut their Patreon expenses. About a third of Chris's patrons unsubbed in the past few weeks. 10 patrons left giving $120 per month.

Also someone gave him $500 last month.

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Chris spent about $90 on Ebay buying video game stuff this month.

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That's his third copy of Sonic Mania. He also has it for PS4 and Switch.
I think I know why he bought the collectors edition, it's because of commercials like thses


See how they are shot and look like actual commercials Chris probably watched back then? That's how his peanut brain works. "If I buy this it'll be like I'ma little boy in da 90s again!" Chris is the perfect example of what marketing hacks want when they make ads or products like this. Milenals/zoomers desperate to go back to their innocent and carefree childhoods so they'll buy whatever crap evokes the time period regardless of the quality.
 

Chan the Wizard

My Gemsona is autistic
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Money that he will most likely spend on games and toys.

And is untouchable by creditors. Worst case scenario for Chris is that without Barb’s tugboat he loses the house and even that won’t a quick ordeal. Chris might even die before they evict him. Then he either ends up in a section 8 apartment or a group home, assuming one of his enablers walk him through the process and let’s him live with them for a while, and you know they will. He’s not called the Teflon Tard for no reason.
 

A Grey Cat

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Why would he? He gets guaranteed money from the government that he can’t lose unless he gets an actual job.
Technically the tugboat was SUPPOSED to supplement an easy but shit job tards and aspies like him and downies (that have enough brain function to act like teenagers their whole lives as opposed to toddlers) get. Walmart, Target, hobby lobby, McDonald's, Amazon warehouse. But Chris is both so lazy and delusional he thinks he's above even those jobs, and his reputation is so in the toilet that not even a water or amusement park will hire him and they are usually the last hope for teenage stoners or adult junkies/ex cons
 

Picklechu

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Technically the tugboat was SUPPOSED to supplement an easy but shit job tards and aspies like him and downies (that have enough brain function to act like teenagers their whole lives as opposed to toddlers) get. Walmart, Target, hobby lobby, McDonald's, Amazon warehouse. But Chris is both so lazy and delusional he thinks he's above even those jobs, and his reputation is so in the toilet that not even a water or amusement park will hire him and they are usually the last hope for teenage stoners or adult junkies/ex cons
Bob also incorrectly informed him that he could get more money being a welfare leech than working (whether or not Bob knew this was incorrect or just gave up on Chris functioning in society after Wendy's/Cutco/PVCC and told him this to try and keep him out of trouble is debatable). He's had it drilled into him over the past 12 years that this isn't the case, but, as stated, he's a lazy fuck, and the way he sees it is he doesn't have to work, so why should he? There are Transformers to play with and magic rocks to mash against his forehead!
 

A Grey Cat

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Bob also incorrectly informed him that he could get more money being a welfare leech than working (whether or not Bob knew this was incorrect or just gave up on Chris functioning in society after Wendy's/Cutco/PVCC and told him this to try and keep him out of trouble is debatable). He's had it drilled into him over the past 12 years that this isn't the case, but, as stated, he's a lazy fuck, and the way he sees it is he doesn't have to work, so why should he? There are Transformers to play with and magic rocks to mash against his forehead!
UK I almost wouldn't mind...if Chris didn't tweet about it or stream himself on YouTube about how much of a leech he is. I mean at least unlike the niggos on welfare he's not blowing the tugboat on crack and booze at least those toys and junk could in theory be resold if he wasn't just as lazy with shipping stuff out ass
he is with working.
 

dirtydeanna96

kiwifarms.net
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Jun 16, 2018
I think I know why he bought the collectors edition, it's because of commercials like thses


See how they are shot and look like actual commercials Chris probably watched back then? That's how his peanut brain works. "If I buy this it'll be like I'ma little boy in da 90s again!" Chris is the perfect example of what marketing hacks want when they make ads or products like this. Milenals/zoomers desperate to go back to their innocent and carefree childhoods so they'll buy whatever crap evokes the time period regardless of the quality.

These are homages to specific Megadrive adverts from the mid 1990's. Not "shot and look like" a ronco commercial.


 

A Grey Cat

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These are homages to specific Megadrive adverts from the mid 1990's. Not "shot and look like" a ronco commercial.


Eh fair point but still it's how marketing works. They knows zoomers and mellinials are desperate to return to that oh so innocent time when they were children, and the biggest worries on their mind was report cards and chores. So these ads give them that feeling of being young and innocent again when not a thing in the big bad world could hurt them and they didn't have any major cares to worry about
 

Tikbalang

Wear your shirt inwards out
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Webby's Boyfriend

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Technically the tugboat was SUPPOSED to supplement an easy but shit job tards and aspies like him and downies (that have enough brain function to act like teenagers their whole lives as opposed to toddlers) get. Walmart, Target, hobby lobby, McDonald's, Amazon warehouse. But Chris is both so lazy and delusional he thinks he's above even those jobs, and his reputation is so in the toilet that not even a water or amusement park will hire him and they are usually the last hope for teenage stoners or adult junkies/ex cons
An amusement park may hire him as living exhibition.
 

Mariposa Electrique

October 4-18, Chris Will Be Happy!
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An amusement park may hire him as living exhibition.
Yes, Kiwifarms bros.


And is untouchable by creditors. Worst case scenario for Chris is that without Barb’s tugboat he loses the house and even that won’t a quick ordeal. Chris might even die before they evict him. Then he either ends up in a section 8 apartment or a group home, assuming one of his enablers walk him through the process and let’s him live with them for a while, and you know they will. He’s not called the Teflon Tard for no reason.
I feel like, well, O feel like I just don't care anymore. This stuff is boring.
 

Guts Gets Some

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More stuff Chris bought on Ebay.

Bought March 24th, a Transformers figure:
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Bought March 25th, Transformers pieces:
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Bought April 4th, a video game branded backpack:
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Oh my god, he actually likes Infamous this much? Does he really think Cole is Sonichu?

Wow, nice to know some comedy pictures I used a year ago about his "powers" were more dead on than I thought.
 
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