First Attempt At Trying To Talk Some Sense Into Chris -

[Thetan]

Since it's been a slow month, I thought it might be nice to release some of the older content I've had sitting around (I'll be releasing more once I've had a chance to do the necessary redactions etc.)

What follow is a correspondence between Chris and a [male] MHS classmate. Please, no speculation on the identity of the individual, it just pushes the thread into off-topic territory and doesn't add anything of value to the discussion. (I'm not going to reveal this person's identity anyway.)

Suffice it to say that this person tried to help Chris, with predictable results.

The first set of emails are from the period when Chris was kicked out of Wal-Mart for vandalizing an XBox display. Some of the emails are annotated where an explanation is necessary / helpful.

 

[dabluearmedbandit]

I lost it at **sighs and deep breaths**

 

[wheat pasta]

Title of this thread should have been "Some guy tries to empty the ocean with nothing but a thimble; ocean bitches the whole time."

 

[OBAMATRON]

I'm not going to reveal this person's identity anyway.

Haven't they all been you?

 

[Thetan]

Chris's "friend" warns him that he's going to be very frank and honest with him at times, and suggests that, if Chris can't handle that, then they've probably got nothing to talk about.

Haven't they all been you?

I spoke to a number of real MHS people. In this correspondence however, you are correct. Maybe what I should have said is that I have no intention of revealing the identity of the person I was impersonating.

I'm posting this correspondence because I think people will find it interesting. I have no desire to cause any real life drama for Chris's classmates.

 

[Hyperion]

Soldier, you volunteered and offered your services

 

[Poison_Ivy]

Chris will always go back to blaming everyone else for his previous mistakes. It's the same poor broken record. He's relied on that same excuse for years...no one is going to change him. That much is obvious since his court date is literally coming up in less than a week for doing the same shit he's been pulling for the past god knows how long.

 

[Thetan]

Someone contacted Chris regarding the manufacturing and marketing of Sonichu-themed flash drives. When I first became aware of this (Chris made a friends only post about it on Facebook) I was convinced it was a troll because:

1. Who in their right mind would seriously consider doing this?
2. This happened shortly after the fake Megan's lawyer trolling attempt.

Rebeckah (me again) tried to warn Chris that this was a scam because I honestly believed it was one.

Anyway, it turned out that this little venture was legit, but it would require an initial investment of $10 k from Chris, which, of course, he didn't have.

 

[ON 190]

If Chris really did send those emails from his iPhone, imagine how long it took to type.

I like to think he has some autistic mind-link with his phone so that he can just telepathically vomit all his thoughts into an email and send them. It explains the rambling nature, at the very least.

 

[Thetan]

Chris's friend is not impressed and suggests that he forget about the "pipe dream" and go out and get a real job.

Chris's response is exactly what you'd expect.

 

[Gensdupays]

The "slapped on the butt" story sounds really suspect to me.

 

[Francis York Morgan]

other people aren't going to know you "have issues" just by looking at you.

I respectfully disagree.

Anyway, it turned out that this little venture was legit, but it would require an initial investment of $10 k from Chris, which, of course, he didn't have.

That sounds about as legit as his tenure as a Cutco salesman.

 

[Thetan]

Chris whines about the trolls and tries to recruit his new MHS FB friends as his personal army (and gets called out for it).

I respectfully disagree.

Yeah, I could have worded that better.

Chris's friend is not impressed with his 9-11 video.

There may be a few more emails in this series but I'm not sure. As you may have guessed, Chris accused his 'friend" of being a "meanie" and a "bully" and stopped communicating with him some time afterwards.

I'll post anything else I find at some other time. I just don't feel like digging around in my archives right now.

 

[ON 190]

The "slapped on the butt" story sounds really suspect to me.

It would be like smacking an overripe tomato. Hit it with any force and .

 

[Decabus]

Chris's friend is not impressed and suggests that he forget about the "pipe dream" and go out and get a real job.

Chris's response is exactly what you'd expect.

View attachment 21722 View attachment 21723

To be fair, would you hire Chris?

 

[Chuggernaut]

I know people said this with the date videos but it's kind of sad how little he has in his life beyond the ten stories he goes over and over.

 

[Thetan]

To be fair, would you hire Chris?

It depends on the job. Lots of "special" people have jobs. Chris could, for example, do office cleaning after hours, mailroom work, janitorial work, stocking shelves at a grocery store after hours..... etc.

THEY have jobs.

 

[Hyperion]

I like how Chris thinks he's the only guy to ever spend a bunch of money on a girl.

 

[Shadow Fox]

Soldier, you volunteered and offered your services...

My favorite line:

Do you understand a point I'm trying to make, because I did have a point to make earlier, or I thought I did.

 

[Don't Call Anybody]

Hell, with my brain, these questions and issues and whatnot, I'm as popular as Derpy Hooves. I do sympathize with her and her impairments. And she is really cute and appealing in her own way.

You keep telling yourself that, Chris.