Food & anxiety | weekly vlog 03/25/20 -

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Moonpie

Ride the Lightening
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I don't get this because she lived in Florida for a while. If she went through at least one hurricane season she should know how this goes. I think she is just being overdramatic for the vlogs and SM.
Well this is different. It's a more serious food shortage. No one knows what's going to happen. To her it's the end of the world. Her little nonexistent life revolves around food.
More than anything or anyone.
I'm sure she's shitting her huge teal pants.
 

Punkinsplice

My human and I talk shit about you
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Th
Well this is different. It's a more serious food shortage. No one knows what's going to happen. To her it's the end of the world. Her little nonexistent life revolves around food.
More than anything or anyone.
I'm sure she's shitting her huge teal pants.
The saddest part of it is when you look at the kinds of food her life revolves around. Frozen dinners, shit that looks like cat puke, dry ass precooked bacon and Jennie O turkey burgers. Reeses cups are good and all, but goddam.
 

Pog Mathoin

kiwifarms.net
It's so obvious that she HATES vegetables unless they are drowned in salt and butter or smothered in hot sauce or dunked in ranch dressing. Even the cucumber boats were just a vehicle for her mayo-laden tuna slop. It makes all her protestations that the diet doctor didn't want her to eat veges even funnier.
 

Fascist Ferret

reporting for duty
kiwifarms.net
It's so obvious that she HATES vegetables unless they are drowned in salt and butter or smothered in hot sauce or dunked in ranch dressing. Even the cucumber boats were just a vehicle for her mayo-laden tuna slop. It makes all her protestations that the diet doctor didn't want her to eat veges even funnier.
Lol this makes me wonder if she likes pickles.

They're vegetable drowned in.... pickle juice? What is pickle juice? Is that an oil?
 

That Ho Over Here

Oil me up, butternut.
kiwifarms.net
A bunch of bullshit lies below.
Well, I was thinking about time-stamping all the shitty shit, but fuck it. She’s too boring, and this is 25 minutes of fucking nonsense. Let’s just go.

First off… ‘watching the beginning but not watching the whole part of the vlog.’ Grammar is not nice to WriterLynn.


States that she showed the gradual state of the complete shortage of food, toilet paper, cleaning supplies, etc. People were commenting that people were saying she had stuff, when the end of her vlog showed they actually had nothing.


Shows off her ugly as fuck earrings. This was done on March 16th. So not now.


Doing Kroger pickup because outdoors is scary.


Concerned about her health, but won’t get fucking health insurance. Sure, Jan.


Blathering about Kroger pickup and how awesome it is. Because they’re showing substitutes and shit. Whatever.


Calls Kroger’s ‘unavailable’ list a ‘menu.’ We see where your brain is, gorl.


Says they don’t have much in the house. WHAT THE FUCK. You have a huge fridge and TWO FREEZERS. Did you eat it all already, you dumb fat cuntwaffle?


Boooo, it’s scary because no stores have anything.


Necky is making tacos. Amber demands that things be shown. Like nobody knows what goes on tacos.


Necky is doing parmesan cheese on taco. Heathen.


AOnce again says thing are crazy. Because they went and bought a shit-ton of food. But apparently everywhere is out of food. The fuck, get your story straight, you bint.


The freezer is fucking exploding. “We don’t have anything!” Fuck off, Amber.


Moe’s ‘chickens’. The fuck. And they bought soups from Kroger. At least they won’t have to put up with Amber’s slop-soups from the eternally-missing grockpot.


Fingers everything in the fridge. Blathers about social distancing for one sentence and then goes to show off exploding cabinets stuffed with food.


Blathers about how it’s important to do their share in not passing on COVID-19, though she won’t name it.


A week after Monday and she blathers that the freezer got unplugged, she didn’t notice, nobody noticed, it never happened before. So she went in there today and discovered that everything was mushy and emitting a smell like her folds.


So yeah, everything in the freezer went bad. They had to empty it and throw everything out. Good job, Amber.


“Now we have no frozen foods” except for your FUCKING FREEZER on the fridge.


“It’s just not my week.” How about everyone else in the house? Narc.


Munching on a peanut butter bar. At least she didn’t show her fucking mouthgasm when she took her first bite.


“The world is going through something.” IntelliLynn there on full display.


Random tangent - holy fuckballs is her hair greasy and gross. Ugh.


Having chickpeas as her vegetables… I can’t with this bitch.


Still blathering about her four 1/2 sandwiches.


Says her sandwiches are 520 calories. Sure, Jan. Redux.


“A lot of people were like ‘Oh my god, is she dumb?’” Yes. She says no.


Tries desperately to justify her 4 halves bullshit and talks about it being a mental game. No, Amber, you’re just dumb.


Goes on a foodgasm about banana popsicles. I faintly remember her saying something about not liking banana.


Necky shambles in and professes that she looks like crap.


Amber is wearing new pants. Holy fuck!!! They’re actually somewhat baggy on the upper leg at certain angles! Amazing!!!


Sorry, I still can’t get over the legs.


Thinks people watch her videos to be happy…? What? Huh?


Shows off her turkey bacon that she professes is 25 calories. No, bitch, that’s for the reduced sodium one. The one you showed off is 35 calories. (Source - I will neither confirm nor deny that I may get the reduced sodium shit and fall back on the original shit when they’re out)


Opens up her laughing cow cheese and discovers a wedge is missing. Doesn’t trust it. Throws out the entire thing which still has 7 wedges because it’s missing one. You wasteful idiot.


Used garlic and herb cheese wedges instead on her crap bagels.


Becky shows off a 28 year old sweater she wore when she was a baby. They discuss if Necky would allow a daughter to wear it, and she professes ‘no, it’s stained.’ Then AL burst into her shrieky laugh and says they should put Twinkie into it. And Necky instantly shoots her down.


Something about a ‘for real signed’ Kate Winslet picture. Sure, it’s real.


Wah wah wah acknowledges her vlog sucks and she’s a pouty wench because she wants Adsense.


Shows off her stupid mirror thing. Realized that its stand does what it’s supposed to do.


She’s been getting rid of earrings. Get ready for future Torid earring hauls, girls!


Shows off her measly plate of mashed potatoes, broccoli, cauliflower, turkey patty and a drizzling of Tapitio. What, no Sriracha? Haah?


Acknowledges she’s a narcissist.


Oh, no, she’s blathering about her pictures. Says it’s for Twinkie, never mind the picture in the middle is her fully front and center and Twinkie barely in frame.


Bitch hasn’t taken new pictures of Twinkie to put in her Twinkie frame.


Shows off her book of her pictures. Says it’s a gift from Dana and Destiny. Didn’t want to shove it in a drawer so she keeps it out on full display because she thinks it’s sweet. It tickles her narc bones, of course. Whimpers that she wishes it was a different picture. PUT IT ON A BOOKSHELF, YOU DUMMY.


Fast forwarded pictures of her bobbling around putting a shit-ton of candles on a bookshelf and removing fucking books from it. Oh for fuck’s sake.


Winded by putting candles on the bookshelf. Should be a serious wakeup call, Amber.


Gestures to her books. Says ‘books’ with disgust. Professes she loves graphic novels. Only the finest literature for LiteraryLynn.


Shows a stack of shitty graphic novels that she hasn’t read.


Now March 21st or something.


Talks about her elongated fat/earlobes. Paws at her greasy sideburns. Professes that her right one is longer than the left one because she got her right ear repierced and they put the hole ‘way low on my earlobe’. Dude, that’s because they can’t go piercing scar tissue. Your plan to get it repierced higher up ain’t happening.


Cried while doing a puzzle with Erik, apparently.


Trixie goes crawling up on her to lick her face. Not Twinkie, though. Hahahahah.


Bitch still whines about how anxiety, panic, and sadness are ruling her life apparently. Then calls to Twinkie, who says ‘fuck you’ from off screen and doesn’t bother.


Still whining about corona-chan without calling it by name.


Wants to quit. Quitting is in the near future.


Calls to Twinkie. Gets Chubbs instead.


Says that Twinkie’s looking at her like “Mama, are you cheating on me?” Amber is missing her dog’s cues of ‘leave me the fuck alone.’


HAHAHAHAH. Not going to do a weekly vlog.


QUIIIIIITTER.
Edit: I can't spell.
WTF sometimes I buy sandwiches from the store cause I'm a lazy ass bitch and at most they're 300-400 cals the fuck does she put in a sandwich!?

Maybe it's murica but holy hell, you're doing the Lords' work. (Edit to clarify that I mean @Diet Coke 4 Life cause Amber ain't doing any work kek)

I'd tell Amber to put her fat ass on a scooter or board but I don't think they make bariatric skateboards.
Also how do you unplug a freezer and not notice!?

I'm gonna be the optimist here and say that by quarantines' end she -may- have lost 10lbs
 

Fascist Ferret

reporting for duty
kiwifarms.net
WTF sometimes I buy sandwiches from the store cause I'm a lazy ass bitch and at most they're 300-400 cals the fuck does she put in a sandwich!?

Maybe it's murica but holy hell, you're doing the Lords' work. (Edit to clarify that I mean @Diet Coke 4 Life cause Amber ain't doing any work kek)

I'd tell Amber to put her fat ass on a scooter or board but I don't think they make bariatric skateboards.
Also how do you unplug a freezer and not notice!?

I'm gonna be the optimist here and say that by quarantines' end she -may- have lost 10lbs
We may never know since shes a quitter cunt and doesnt want to do weighs in anymore
 

DefCon Dumb

Confronter of Cryptoid Cuntiness
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Weigh ins - hah! she spending most of her time on Pillow Mountain, driving the rest of them insane with her constant whinig abiuut 'muh mentalz' & bellowing at Becky to fetch her more food. She's hard core binging & feels perfectly justified in doing so: "Doncha know this virus is giving me bad anxieteeeeeeeeeeee?" When she's not using her hand to shovel huge forkfuls into her mouth, she's making up shopping lists for Becky to go & fill; won't do to have any interruptions in HER personal food supply chain! Bad enough that she can't waddle into her favorite restaurants - the horror!
 

Mad Asshatter

My other name was Maggot
kiwifarms.net
What makes me wonder is why she doesn't just admit to herself that she only really wants fast food, restaurant food and takeouts, and all of the sugary desserts she can get her bloated hands on?

Why go through this charade, even to the degree of (hypothetically) allowing a whole freezer of food to defrost and spoil?

She really needs to just stop pretending that she gives a damn about anything other then food, that she wants it more then life itself, and give Twinkie and the cats to a good home, write up a will, set money aside for a funeral, and buy a cemetery plot. Then glut and gorge to her heart's content until her body gives out.
 

Azshara

uwu
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
What makes me wonder is why she doesn't just admit to herself that she only really wants fast food, restaurant food and takeouts, and all of the sugary desserts she can get her bloated hands on?

Why go through this charade, even to the degree of (hypothetically) allowing a whole freezer of food to defrost and spoil?

She really needs to just stop pretending that she gives a damn about anything other then food, that she wants it more then life itself, and give Twinkie and the cats to a good home, write up a will, set money aside for a funeral, and buy a cemetery plot. Then glut and gorge to her heart's content until her body gives out.
Because she's trying to convince herself more than us that she is really into eating healthy. She knows deep down she hates it.
 

Fascist Ferret

reporting for duty
kiwifarms.net
What makes me wonder is why she doesn't just admit to herself that she only really wants fast food, restaurant food and takeouts, and all of the sugary desserts she can get her bloated hands on?

Why go through this charade, even to the degree of (hypothetically) allowing a whole freezer of food to defrost and spoil?

She really needs to just stop pretending that she gives a damn about anything other then food, that she wants it more then life itself, and give Twinkie and the cats to a good home, write up a will, set money aside for a funeral, and buy a cemetery plot. Then glut and gorge to her heart's content until her body gives out.
Denial is the only thing that keeps her from truly hating herself
 

ADHD

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
give Twinkie and the cats to a good home, write up a will, set money aside for a funeral, and buy a cemetery plot.
All of that would require her to care about anyone other than herself, which she doesn't.
Then glut and gorge to her heart's content until her body gives out.
This part she's definitely going to do.
Because she's trying to convince herself more than us that she is really into eating healthy. She knows deep down she hates it.
Exhibit A of Amber pretending she likes healthy food:
 
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