Food You're Not Really Sure Anyone Even Buys -

BOLDYSPICY!

HALP • avatar by Tomssu
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
head cheese is the most rancid, abominable shit i've ever eaten and anyone who likes it should die
I love pickled herring. Think I will pass on head cheese. Never tried it, no interest in doing so.
I've tried head cheese once, rather accidentally by not asking questions about what was in an offered sandwich.

It's... unpleasant, but mostly it's the texture. It's simultaneously slimy, rubbery, gristly, and yet somehow also mushy. It's very offputting.

Flavor-wise... it really doesn't have much. Just a sort of generic meatyness, sort of like bologna or something, only less-so.
I found a homemade recipe that actually sounds pretty good.
Sparkling water - it tastes like TV/radio static in liquid form.
Get fucked. You'll have to pry La Croix out of my cold, dead hands.
(It's actually good as a mixer & for diluting shit that's way too sweet. I just started drinking it instead of soda.)
I'd love for someone to explain clamato. Some kind of alcoholic mixer? Old people enjoy it, like prune juice? Some ethnicity likes it? I've seriously been wondering this for awhile.
A mixer, mostly. I get periodic Bloody Mary cravings.
Boiled peanuts. My local gas station has croc pots full of these. Who buys these? Who goes to the gas station and thinks, "lets get some soggy watery peanuts to go with my Coke and Cheetos."
Black people.
I see these at the Dollar Tree stores. Anyone ever try them? I can't imagine a dollar tree burger or chicken sandwich being particularly tasty.

View attachment 816259
>dollar store processed meat sandwiches

Would take a brave man to eat one of those.
They're okay in a pinch when you're hungry & short on cash. Not great, but okay.
 

MembersSchoolPizza

Sworn Brother of the Cult of Browning
kiwifarms.net
I found a homemade recipe that actually sounds pretty good.
So there are two sorts of head cheese. One is that sort, that kind of resembles Satan's own Spam. I might actually try that sort.

Unfortunately the type I had was the other type. The one that's basically "we boiled a pig's head and picked off everything that wasn't bone, then glued it together with gelatin".

 

saralovesjuicyfruit

kiwifarms.net
So there are two sorts of head cheese. One is that sort, that kind of resembles Satan's own Spam. I might actually try that sort.

Unfortunately the type I had was the other type. The one that's basically "we boiled a pig's head and picked off everything that wasn't bone, then glued it together with gelatin".

I mean, it probably has insane collagen. Good for your joints and skin. I'd try it.
 

Pocket Dragoon

For one-tenth a soul, or a sexual favor.
kiwifarms.net
I mean, it probably has insane collagen. Good for your joints and skin. I'd try it.
Since we're on the subject...

If ya'll see "lengua" on the menu at a taqueria, that's usually beef tongue. Cooked right, it makes the absolute bombest taco filling.

Wait. What was the powdered stuff you were supposed to mix in water, but nobody did? Didn't it have a low dose of ephedrine in it?
You're thinking of OG Hydroxy-Cut. They actually banned the shit downrange, because guys were getting tweaked on it and falling out from dehydration.

Rip It's are these bastards:

OIP.dzq8fJ6cnYM9OxBfHm5pTQHaEZ.jpg
 

snailslime

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Hey, it's food you don't think anybody buys, not what you don't like.
Onion Chips are tasty, mayo jars is nothing unique, spicy mayo usually goes on clifornia rolls (it's good), canned tomato sauce is for people who are lazy/don't have processors, tomato juice is used for making Bloody Mary's, and V8 is good if rather salty. It needs to be shaken well before drinking but don't bother chilling it.

smh at all the people who said baloney. Maybe you didn't grow up with it but it has a unique flavor and goes well in scrambled eggs. And people obviously buy it.
california rolls ≠ sushi
get a new palate lul
 

neverendingmidi

it just goes on and on and on and on...
kiwifarms.net
Chicken in a biscuit crackers are so good, why wouldn’t someone like those?

Someone mentioned capers too. I always throw those into salad if I have them, they’re also great with smoked salmon as someone else said.

As for what I’ve seen at the store that I wonder who’s buying it, I guess mostly just weird canned/instant meal stuff like this:

View attachment 1088129

Seriously looks like dog food.
I always had a couple of these in my locker when in the navy. When the food in the mess was absolutely horrifying, it was good to have as a backup. To the point that you stocked up if the ship's store had them. Plus you could throw away the packaging in the plastics bin/pulpables, unlike the cup of ramen styrofoam cups, which ended up collecting in trashbags in berthing until you reached port and could throw them in dumpsters on the pier.
 

Slav Power

Medium hawaiian for everyone!
kiwifarms.net
So there are two sorts of head cheese. One is that sort, that kind of resembles Satan's own Spam. I might actually try that sort.

Unfortunately the type I had was the other type. The one that's basically "we boiled a pig's head and picked off everything that wasn't bone, then glued it together with gelatin".

Meat gelatin is a pretty well known traditional dish in Poland. Personally I despise it, it looks disgusting and the consistency is disgusting, that's enough to disqualify it for me. But there are a lot of people that love this shit.
 

Oskar Dirlewanger

i am the black niggers
kiwifarms.net
Meat gelatin is a pretty well known traditional dish in Poland. Personally I despise it, it looks disgusting and the consistency is disgusting, that's enough to disqualify it for me. But there are a lot of people that love this shit.
Meat jelly is not exclusively polish, it's common to all slavic nations as well as other parts of Europe and Asia. The taste is okay but the thing where it really shines is extreme doses of highly bioavailable collagen, making it a wonderful supplement for joint health. Just eating it a couple of times can cure any problems with joints and connective tissue better than a long curation with any supplement on the market.
 

Jaimas

Give 'Em the Crab Jab
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Vienna Sausages.

In the entire history of my life, I have never seen anyone, other than me, purchase a can of these stupid things, and I've only ever done so because they make for good emergency snacks and can keep for years in the bottom of a cabinet someplace until you need 'em for whatever reason. They're not awful, and I presume that someone, out there, other than me, also buys them because they clearly are fucking selling, but I've never seen anyone else pick any up.
 

Stoneheart

kiwifarms.net
Unfortunately the type I had was the other type. The one that's basically "we boiled a pig's head and picked off everything that wasn't bone, then glued it together with gelatin".
my grandma realy likes that, and i know a couple of other people who eat it quite regulary. its a normal lunchmeat... the one on your picture looks not that good, to little meat in it.

Meat jelly is not exclusively polish, it's common to all slavic nations as well as other parts of Europe and Asia.
Im pretty sure its german since most country use some variation of the german word and well germany has by far the most different styles.

There was a Massive Riot around 100 years ago because people were unhappy that cats and dogs were used for this kind of food.

Vienna Sausages.

In the entire history of my life, I have never seen anyone, other than me, purchase a can of these stupid things, and I've only ever done so because they make for good emergency snacks and can keep for years in the bottom of a cabinet someplace until you need 'em for whatever reason. They're not awful, and I presume that someone, out there, other than me, also buys them because they clearly are fucking selling, but I've never seen anyone else pick any up.
those are used for Hotdogs...
I have one can of them in the cabinet, they are good for 10 more years.

I regulary buy fresh Frankfurter Sausages(Its pretty much the same but Frankfurter have to jump some more hoops to be allowed to be called Frankfurter).
Realy good stuff.


Why is this whole thread so antigerman?
 

Aberforth

Straight A student in special ed.
kiwifarms.net
Pickled pigs' feet. Saw a jar at some small grocery store. Going to guess mostly older people buy it.

Probably tastes better than the ultra cheap TV dinners, at least.
 

sparklemilhouse

America Online for Dummies™
kiwifarms.net
Anything from the international aisle at kroger. It’s soo expensive.
Dream Whip. It's literally a powder to make a whipped cream-like substance, sort of like a predecessor to Cool Whip. But you look at the bottom shelf (check below the puddings), and there it is, collecting dust as it hovers a few inches off the ground with other forgotten items.
I went to a moving sale at the Kroger in my hometown this weekend. So much dream whip left.
 

booklover

kiwifarms.net
Vienna Sausages.

In the entire history of my life, I have never seen anyone, other than me, purchase a can of these stupid things, and I've only ever done so because they make for good emergency snacks and can keep for years in the bottom of a cabinet someplace until you need 'em for whatever reason. They're not awful, and I presume that someone, out there, other than me, also buys them because they clearly are fucking selling, but I've never seen anyone else pick any up.
I buy them occasionally, but only the Armour brand, plain flavored, and the Gerber Meat Sticks, in toddler foods, are even better.
 

Rice Is Ready

Mmmm, red velvet
kiwifarms.net
Since we're on the subject...

If ya'll see "lengua" on the menu at a taqueria, that's usually beef tongue. Cooked right, it makes the absolute bombest taco filling.



You're thinking of OG Hydroxy-Cut. They actually banned the shit downrange, because guys were getting tweaked on it and falling out from dehydration.

Rip It's are these bastards:

View attachment 1101832
For some reason tiny cans like that make me want to try the drink so much more.
 

ExceptionallyExceptional

I farted in my hazmat suit.
kiwifarms.net
Limburger cheese. I don't understand how there can be any demand for that shit at all. The taste is really nothing special. It tastes like cream cheese.... so long as you manage to not catch a single whiff of the stuff. You get one little sniff and then it's all you can fucking taste!

And Limburger fucking STINKS. Bad. Not the worst stench you'll ever encounter, but it's up there. The only way I can describe it is, well, imagine wearing the same pair of socks every day for a month without washing them or even taking them off to let your feet air out. Imagine doing this in the summer. That's what Limburger smells like. Rancid foot odor and gym socks taken to the most extreme level possible.
Which isn't surprising as the bacteria used to culture the Limburger (Brevibacterium linens) is the very same bacteria responsible for foot odor. And what's more is that malaria carrying mosquitoes are attracted to the stink of this bacteria.

Who the fuck thinks rancid gym sock stink and mosquitoes are worth dealing with for such a bland fucking cheese?
 

Pocket Dragoon

For one-tenth a soul, or a sexual favor.
kiwifarms.net
Limburger cheese. I don't understand how there can be any demand for that shit at all. The taste is really nothing special. It tastes like cream cheese.... so long as you manage to not catch a single whiff of the stuff. You get one little sniff and then it's all you can fucking taste!
Monastery cheeses like Limburger are definitely niche. Stateside mostly only bought by methuselahs, pranksters & cheese spergs.

However, Limburger does shine when used properly. The way I was taught was to slice onions paper thin, lay the cheese on top of the onions, and stack both on slabs of dense bread greased on one side with lard. Grill covered until the cheese melts and starts smelling more like onion.

Serve with a sprinkle of black pepper and salt. My grandpa uses bacon-bits as well.

It's best cooked outside over fire (for obvs reasons), and is intended to be a hot lunch/cold day type meal; never by itself.

Edit: I've also had a Limburger-lite (or Swiss-on-steroids) cheese, served with a black currant & plum spread, with lox & bean sprouts, open-faced on french bread. If I could find that stuff again, I'd buy it in a heartbeat.
 
Last edited:
Tags
None