Skitzocow frenchqueenthirteen -

[littlebiscuits]

It's always fun when you stumble across someone so uniquely crazy that you just have to make a thread about them. Welcome to the fun world of frenchqueenthirteen!

http://vignettesacrosstheveil.wordpress.com/2014/04/19/im-not-dead-yet/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Louis_XIII_of_France#Marriage

Frenchqueenthirteen, real name Louise (?), is a unemployed, middle aged, crazy animal hoarder (she has 10 cats and 9 dogs at last count) who lives in a Chicago. Her hobbies include knitting, photoshop, getting angry over the internet, and having astral mind sex with her husband, Louis XIII of France.

(a picture of frenchqueenthirteen -FQT- and Louis relaxing after sex)

Amazingly, since returning from the dead and taking up residence in FQT's apartment, Louis XIII had decided that he also enjoys knitting, hoarding animals, blogging and raging at negative comments, and having astral sex!

Note: Louis XIII has renounced his natural heirs in favor of FQT's two favorite cats, Katie and Herni. While in the astral plane, both cats are capable of human speech, so it was a natural fit.

Nothing will make FQT angrier than being reminded that Louis XIII had a wife and was probably gay. She has a few trolls that like to pop in and bother her from time to time, but since her blogs been quiet this summer (she's traveling with Louis to visit her sister in Melborne) they've mostly been leaving her alone.

 

[Judge Holden]

.

Saw this.

Thought about this

That is all.

Holden out fuckers.

 

[Judge Holden]

Also captain hook

 

[FramerGirl420]

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0RcZZZwcbdj

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

having astral mind sex with her husband, Louis XIII of France.

Dude, thats so crazy it's awesome. I want to see the nude photoshops she claims to have done.

 

[TL 611]

soo... She doesn't even act like those photos aren't photoshop?

 

[littlebiscuits]

having astral mind sex with her husband, Louis XIII of France.
View attachment 5185
Dude, thats so crazy it's awesome. I want to see the nude photoshops she claims to have done.

We have loved like new lovers this week. We have celebrated with our bodies, and our hearts, and done little else. The sun has shone upon our loving, and we have feasted as if parted wholly before, although we were not, and only memory failed. But to make such memories, knowing my lady will see and feel them anew – that is an incentive, is it not? And this new gift we have found, of putting our minds into the other, of seeing the tale as told, or knowing what the other feels as the other – it is not something I have done before, for it is not needed within Spirit, the contact there is unhindered. I do not mean each person is the other, or some such thing, but that there is better knowing and understanding.

What may I tell that is not too much to say, but tells of what joy we knew? I will say what my lady said yesterday, that it is a strange thing, when persons would say, “My God,” at moments of love, to hear one’s beloved cry also, “Ceiling Cat!” She was correct in saying it was a distraction, for it made me laugh, and there are things one cannot do, and laugh at the same time. But the distraction was brief, I will say that.

Did you know that Louis XIII just loved old memes?

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

Oh god nevermind I don't want to see them anymore

 

[littlebiscuits]

She likes to pretend she's painting his portrait with she makes these.

 

[Golly]

From the looks of her hair and name, it seems like she wants to be Louis XIII as well.

Edit: Also, whose head is she using for those pictures?

 

[Larsipan]

Ev

From the looks of her hair and name, it seems like she wants to be Louis XIII as well.

Edit: Also, whose head is she using for those pictures?

I was just wondering the same thing. even though I know she probably has a really limited stock of her husbando's face, there's something really bothersome (actually, quit creepy) about the fact that its the exact same face in every picture.

 

[Slowboat to China]

Why on earth would someone fixate on Louis XIII? Louis XIV was much more interesting (and humptastic), and even Louis XVI has the associated tragedy of the French Revolution to lend some color to his story. (And has fangirls. Like this one, for example, who's a wee bit obsessive herself.) But Louis XIII was just sort of ... there. Was she scarred by "The Three Musketeers" or something?

 

[sparklemilhouse]

I love those giant ass glasses of oj in that breakfast in bed photo. They crack me up.

 

[GRANDnumberofMULTIPLES]

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who immediately thought of the BK King upon seeing those photoshops.

Where is she getting the heads and bodies to copy-paste from? Do I want to know?

 

[littlebiscuits]

Well, some of the bodies are from various knitting ads or L.L Bean ads but others are Bruce Springsteen....

 

[The Knife]

This is my new favorite crazy person. I can't explain it. I just have this feeling.

 

[Dio Brando]

This has the potential of turning into a horror film.

I like it. Thanks for showing us this.

 

[Dilbertmann]

The pics are comedy gold to me, but to say the least, Frenchqueenthirteen reminds me of Wogglebuglover with the bizzare obsession of someone familiar and delusional fantasies where the character and person go on magical adventures.

I assume that, in a sad twist, this fantasy is a getaway from something really personal and instead of facing it she stays in her fantasy to never be bothered by personal problems and refusing the help she needs, instead focusing on astral anal with a unknown French king.

 

[littlebiscuits]

How to begin? These are diaries kept principally by me, Louise, but also by Louis. Nothing very unusual there, except that Louis crossed the veil in 1643. I first saw his portrait in 1981; it was a couldn't-stop-looking moment (and it was far from the best portrait of him). It didn't take long for attraction to turn to interest to turn to fascination to turn to love. What I didn't know then, or for a quarter-century-odd, was that he already loved me. I wasn't even sure there was such a thing as an afterlife, and I certainly didn't think that, if there were, there was any reason Louis should know or care about me. "I love you, therefore you must love me" wasn't part of my thinking. It wasn't part of his either, I might add. He didn't try to contact me until after I fell for him of my own free will. It's been five years since we came into contact at last.They've been five years of unlearning assumptions (no such thing/you aren't psychic/why would he fall for me to name three) and, once over those hurdles - more a matter of scrambling over them than any athletic leaps! - learning to hear, and see, and sense his presence, and to trust those senses. I don't think there's anything supernatural in any of this. Supernatural seems a silly term to me. I see nature as encompassing a great deal more than the earthly world, that's all. Spirit is another world, or dimension, or whatever you want to call it, but the part of it I visit and will eventually live in is very much a recognisable geography, a place of forests and plains and seas, towns and residences for all sorts of persons (Louis's preferred term) whether they are human or animal. I hope you enjoy reading the simple events of our time together. It's all true; none of this is fiction, nor is it the tales of dreams, nor the product of delusion. It is joyful reality, and I only ask that readers bear that in mind.

^ This is from one of her most recent blogs that she created and then never updated. Interesting to hear the story in her own words though.

 

[Dio Brando]

^ This is from one of her most recent blogs that she created and then never updated. Interesting to hear the story in her own words though.

This is all I have to say: