Fuck, Marry, Kill: The Rat King Edition -

[TurdEthics]

Fuck: SFtheWolf
Marry: SecretGamerGnome
Kill: Sling Blade

I'd fuck SFtheWolf to add emotional pain to the beatings I'd give my "wife".

I feel no explanation in killing Sling Blade is needed.

 

[BIG DADDY]

Fuck: Sure, I’ll give that buxom redhead Violet Hargrave a personal session of the micro vs. the massive. But only if I can gag him because I don’t want to hear any sperging about gamergate or tabletop games
Marry: Shit!!! Guys, I think I killed Jake Alley. We were halfway into a gender-affirming session involving Kamen Rider and a fig when I realized that maybe the gag was a bad idea with his collapsed nostrils. Shit, shit shit.
Kill: Ok, I can still recover from this. I placed a few calls to Trans Life Line from his phone to make it look like he was ready to go all 13 reasons why. They didn’t answer so so far so good. His social media was already full of posts about him being on the brink, so all I had to do was make it look like his cat ran away so he didn’t have any excuses left. I got ahold of one of Nora’s bots and programmed it with Jake’s talking points so I think we can even keep the thread going. I’m going to lie low for awhile, maybe spend some time in Tijuana or Sisterwood. Greta owes me some money for when we swindled a women’s shelter back in ‘04 so I think she’ll cover for me.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Fuck: none.
Marry: none.
Kill: All.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

IM GONNA FUCK THEM ALL

You must be the Pokemon trainer of tranny fuckers.

 

[REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!]

I would fuck Kyle with a broom handle until I broke teeth, marry Rhys to my bitch lesbian ex-wife Sheila (there is no worse fate) and kill the rest of the rat king by swapping their estrogen injections with bleach.

 

[GriffithHawkmoth]

I feel like this is another poll DSP would win the fuck option if he was an available choice........

 

[Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth]

Well I'm glad this got necroed so I can point out that I've realized the correct answer was

Fuck my life
Marry the Void
Kill myself