Our tragicomic tale begins in lustful youth, in which one Mr. Fuckswithducks had his first erotic adventure, literally and repeatedly fucking a rubber duck until it was all worn out. It was an impression that would last a lifetime and from there spawn a monomania that would put the protagonists of Poe and Melville to shame. As nothing can ever compare to the first time, fuckswithducks spent years and thousands of dollars hunting down the mould employed to make said artificial waterfowl, allowing him to produce more bird bitches to his penis’s content. He was as well spent thousands of dollars in funding pornographic films featuring people fucking rubber ducks. Dude’s not only crazy but bloody rich too.
He has an autistic encyclopedic knowledge of the Californian pornographic industry; somehow he memorized the shooting locations in which the bathroom contains rubber ducks. This is to the extent that he can tell you an address of the house in which the skin flick was filmed just by watching it.
Almost of his posts have to do with rubber ducks in some shape or form and many are erotic in nature. He is the moderator of 4 subs relating to rubber ducks, two of which are entirely NSFW. I’m willing to bet he has pretty much every sexual image ever relating to rubber ducks on his computer.
Typical content as posted by him (most of these are NSFW and some have thousands of upvotes):
http://i.imgur.com/oclVqFI.gifv
http://i.imgur.com/NWkKviu.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/aG1MDgZ.gif
http://i.imgur.com/U7UKCSF.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/yIYtx6n.gif
http://i.imgur.com/vkuQouB.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/P9NjLxQ.gif
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJgCFkixKSM
https://i.imgur.com/UhB8sgg.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/yDqI3B8.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/qkLqYBP.gifv
http://i.imgur.com/IxRxKZV.gifv
Fuckswithducks in his own words:
“I was a horny pre-teen lying in bed one night. I was making out with my rubber ducky like a normal night back then when I felt a sudden instinctive urge to rub it on my penis. I had never masturbated before and I don't think I knew what masturbation so I was very confused but pleased with myself. I continued to do that for a couple years until my poor ducky practically fell apart. These days I'm much more careful with them.”
“Given how similar we are to our parents in other aspects, I imagine our kinkiness is related as well. A few years ago I was surprised and a bit disturbed while visiting my parents when I found one of my old rubber duckies that I left after moving out was sitting on my parents' nightstand.”
“I'm tired of the belief that rubber ducks are just for kids. Throughout history, they have had plenty of other functions and are much much more versatile than just a toy for babies. Often when I try to buy a rubber duck in a store by myself I'll get weird looks or the cashier will ask if I'm going to a baby shower or something. Nope, I'm going to put it in my ass tonight!”
“I used to think my stuffed animals were secretly alive like in Toy Story, and that when I left they would party while no one is around. I no longer believe that, but part of me still wants to imagine they have souls. I still like to think that my rubber ducky is into it when I have sex with it.”
“OP, I used to have the same problem. The worst part is that it creates a vicious cycle of confidence problems. Eventually I learned to relax and be more open/comfortable with my partner. Since then, sex has gotten way better and I've never had any problems. Did you try having your partner hold a rubber ducky for you during sex? That helped me a lot.”
“Only rubber ducks! Real ducks are strictly platonic.”
“I've been working on editing a porn montage recently and my girlfriend has walked into the room several times while I have it open. While she she has always said how she's okay with me watching porn, she was extremely disturbed when she saw just how much content I was working with for this montage and how thoroughly everything was tagged and organized. The funny thing is I'm only using the mainstream vanilla videos, she didn't even see any of the sick fetish stuff.”
“A few months ago I got hooked trawling through websites that have metadata on just about every movie ever made and learned a lot of cool things. Funny enough, the most-complete web sites I've found are sites where people tag information every nude scene ever shown (e.g. the actor/actress names, where the scene takes place, brief descriptions of what happens, etc). These sites have made it really easy for me to find every movie that has a bath scene. With a little additional investigation, I've been able to use the information I found to compile a huge list of films which have rubber duckies in them.
I don't want to share my list publicly just yet because I would like to make an interesting montage out of the scenes first. However, I've learned lots of interesting things.
For example, I found a rubber duck in the 1934 movie "Imitation of Life". This finding alone throws a wrench in a lot of theories about early rubber ducks, as many sources claim that they weren't invented until later in the 1930s or even the 1940s.”
“Didn't bring my rubber ducky and lost my erection halfway in.”
“I don't care what the scene is about or who is in it, if it has my duck then I can't say no. There's one small porn studio that learned this and makes several hundred dollars off me per year.”
“On the bright side for her, at least her things are mostly intact. If I ever got in a fight with my girlfriend, I'd be worried about her just trashing my stuff. She already threatened to put one of my rubber duckies in a blender before so I try to stay on her good side.”
“JFK had a rubber duck collection and would play with them in the bath with his mistress before they had sex.”
“Didn't bring my rubber ducky and lost my erection halfway in.”
“I tried keeping a rubber duck at my desk but found it was far too distracting!
Fun fact: I actually commissioned a porn parody of this with Dillion Carter! I had her play a programmer who is tricked into having sex with a talking rubber duck (also voiced by her) that will only fix her bugs in exchange for sex. I uploaded the intro to Pornhub because it wasn't allowed on YouTube even though it's SFW”
“A few years ago my girlfriend and I were having a particularly rough session and she accidentally broke my duck. It was in her mouth, she bit too hard, and the part where the squeaker is glued to the bottom of the body snapped. I didn't have many spare duckies at the time so it was pretty tragic to lose one of my favorite ones. Now we are much more careful about handling them.”
https://www.reddit.com/user/fuckswithducks
His subs:
https://www.reddit.com/r/ducksintheway/
https://www.reddit.com/r/rubherducky/
https://www.reddit.com/r/rubberducks/
https://www.reddit.com/r/DuckRotation/
He has an autistic encyclopedic knowledge of the Californian pornographic industry; somehow he memorized the shooting locations in which the bathroom contains rubber ducks. This is to the extent that he can tell you an address of the house in which the skin flick was filmed just by watching it.
Almost of his posts have to do with rubber ducks in some shape or form and many are erotic in nature. He is the moderator of 4 subs relating to rubber ducks, two of which are entirely NSFW. I’m willing to bet he has pretty much every sexual image ever relating to rubber ducks on his computer.
Typical content as posted by him (most of these are NSFW and some have thousands of upvotes):
http://i.imgur.com/oclVqFI.gifv
http://i.imgur.com/NWkKviu.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/aG1MDgZ.gif
http://i.imgur.com/U7UKCSF.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/yIYtx6n.gif
http://i.imgur.com/vkuQouB.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/P9NjLxQ.gif
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJgCFkixKSM
https://i.imgur.com/UhB8sgg.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/yDqI3B8.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/qkLqYBP.gifv
http://i.imgur.com/IxRxKZV.gifv
Fuckswithducks in his own words:
“I was a horny pre-teen lying in bed one night. I was making out with my rubber ducky like a normal night back then when I felt a sudden instinctive urge to rub it on my penis. I had never masturbated before and I don't think I knew what masturbation so I was very confused but pleased with myself. I continued to do that for a couple years until my poor ducky practically fell apart. These days I'm much more careful with them.”
“Given how similar we are to our parents in other aspects, I imagine our kinkiness is related as well. A few years ago I was surprised and a bit disturbed while visiting my parents when I found one of my old rubber duckies that I left after moving out was sitting on my parents' nightstand.”
“I'm tired of the belief that rubber ducks are just for kids. Throughout history, they have had plenty of other functions and are much much more versatile than just a toy for babies. Often when I try to buy a rubber duck in a store by myself I'll get weird looks or the cashier will ask if I'm going to a baby shower or something. Nope, I'm going to put it in my ass tonight!”
“I used to think my stuffed animals were secretly alive like in Toy Story, and that when I left they would party while no one is around. I no longer believe that, but part of me still wants to imagine they have souls. I still like to think that my rubber ducky is into it when I have sex with it.”
“OP, I used to have the same problem. The worst part is that it creates a vicious cycle of confidence problems. Eventually I learned to relax and be more open/comfortable with my partner. Since then, sex has gotten way better and I've never had any problems. Did you try having your partner hold a rubber ducky for you during sex? That helped me a lot.”
“Only rubber ducks! Real ducks are strictly platonic.”
“I've been working on editing a porn montage recently and my girlfriend has walked into the room several times while I have it open. While she she has always said how she's okay with me watching porn, she was extremely disturbed when she saw just how much content I was working with for this montage and how thoroughly everything was tagged and organized. The funny thing is I'm only using the mainstream vanilla videos, she didn't even see any of the sick fetish stuff.”
“A few months ago I got hooked trawling through websites that have metadata on just about every movie ever made and learned a lot of cool things. Funny enough, the most-complete web sites I've found are sites where people tag information every nude scene ever shown (e.g. the actor/actress names, where the scene takes place, brief descriptions of what happens, etc). These sites have made it really easy for me to find every movie that has a bath scene. With a little additional investigation, I've been able to use the information I found to compile a huge list of films which have rubber duckies in them.
I don't want to share my list publicly just yet because I would like to make an interesting montage out of the scenes first. However, I've learned lots of interesting things.
For example, I found a rubber duck in the 1934 movie "Imitation of Life". This finding alone throws a wrench in a lot of theories about early rubber ducks, as many sources claim that they weren't invented until later in the 1930s or even the 1940s.”
“Didn't bring my rubber ducky and lost my erection halfway in.”
“I don't care what the scene is about or who is in it, if it has my duck then I can't say no. There's one small porn studio that learned this and makes several hundred dollars off me per year.”
“On the bright side for her, at least her things are mostly intact. If I ever got in a fight with my girlfriend, I'd be worried about her just trashing my stuff. She already threatened to put one of my rubber duckies in a blender before so I try to stay on her good side.”
“JFK had a rubber duck collection and would play with them in the bath with his mistress before they had sex.”
“Didn't bring my rubber ducky and lost my erection halfway in.”
“I tried keeping a rubber duck at my desk but found it was far too distracting!
Fun fact: I actually commissioned a porn parody of this with Dillion Carter! I had her play a programmer who is tricked into having sex with a talking rubber duck (also voiced by her) that will only fix her bugs in exchange for sex. I uploaded the intro to Pornhub because it wasn't allowed on YouTube even though it's SFW”
“A few years ago my girlfriend and I were having a particularly rough session and she accidentally broke my duck. It was in her mouth, she bit too hard, and the part where the squeaker is glued to the bottom of the body snapped. I didn't have many spare duckies at the time so it was pretty tragic to lose one of my favorite ones. Now we are much more careful about handling them.”
https://www.reddit.com/user/fuckswithducks
His subs:
https://www.reddit.com/r/ducksintheway/
https://www.reddit.com/r/rubherducky/
https://www.reddit.com/r/rubberducks/
https://www.reddit.com/r/DuckRotation/
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