FULL BODY SHOT | 519.6 POUNDS - 01/29/2020 -

The Last Stand

Mean letter game.
True & Honest Fan
She "shows" her " full body shot" at the 5:30 mark. She "doesn't notice a difference" with her body, only "her face". And her legs are obviously not in frame.

7:00, she mentions going to her "psychiatrist" and noticing a "huge difference in her mood swings" without her meds, but HAPPY to go back on them.

The rest of the video is just her sitting and talking to the camera. There, that's as much as I can stomach.

NOT Sword Fighter Super

"Cheerleeder" of Slapfights
True & Honest Fan
She "shows" her " full body shot" at the 5:30 mark. She "doesn't notice a difference" with her body, only "her face". And her legs are obviously not in frame.

7:00, she mentions going to her "psychiatrist" and noticing a "huge difference in her mood swings" without her meds, but HAPPY to go back on them.

The rest of the video is just her sitting and talking to the camera. There, that's as much as I can stomach.
That usually tends to be the area where you first start to notice weight loss: the face.

Thank you for the report, bro.

Diet Coke 4 Life

When I peek, it is in the line of duty.
I have heard the call. Summary below.

Could I be doing more productive things? Yeah, but fuck it - let’s listen to a lying sack of fat lie!

0:10 All the thanks for al the support, claims that’s going to keep her on track. I’m waiting for the victory meals that will lead to massive weight gain.

0:35 Why she premiered her video - she didn’t want people to skip ahead. She wanted people to listen to her fucking blather because she’s a fat cunt. Says people seemed to enjoy it, so expect more of that shit in the future (she did it for the shekels, let’s be real).

0:17 Is eating buffalo chicken and loaded COLLIFLOWAR. My ears bleed. Professes it’s good even though it looks like shit.

1:30 Been brought up that she lied in her ‘what I ate today’ video. Confesses to using Freshly. Wibbles that since the beginning of January she was afraid of professing what her plan was for her weight loss or what not. Blathers continually to defend herself from perceived backlash.

2:42 It’s not a TV dinner, boo boo!!! Look at the box! Threats to blather more about Freshly!

3:20 Eats her bullshit on camera. Predicted mm hmm and lip smacks and and orgasm face. Shows the plate, merrily professes that it’s 470 calories. Admits she doesn’t eat it for every single meal, but keeps on going about Freshly. Shut the fuck up, Amber.

4:15 It’s like she’s plugging for a damned sponsorship from Freshly, because she’s still going on about it.

4:35 New weightloss Instagram: Pineappleepinup Then professes she doesn’t know what she’s going to be posting on there. Posted one month ago and hasn’t decided what else there should be. I expect it to be like curvycalories or whatever the fuck it was.

5:30 Says she hasn’t seen weight loss in her body, but only in her face, namely the jowl and the edge of her face.

5:57 Does a slow spin for the full body view. Is a fat blob.

6:15 Next day, going to see the psychiatrist, says it’s needed. They wouldn’t let her get a refill this month because she saw a nurse practitioner.

6:40 Needs her damned drugs because there’s apparently a big difference when she’s not on them.

6:46 Finished appointment, went to Kroger because of course they’re out of food. Says they were there for sparkling ice water. Because she is trying not to drink soda every day. JUST DRINK WATER, FUCKTARD.

7:13 Blathers about picking up her shit.

7:27 Oh, now we’re getting an ADD diagnosis. Apparently got tested and has been recommended to a specialist for that or what not.

7:52 Whines about how she is bipolar (I still want her to blather on I vs II ‘cause she would be hilarious). Says Becky did an appointment, too.

8:28 Back story about her sleeping - 1000-1200 nap with 1700 going to bed and waking up at 0200 was her old schedule, and now she’s trying to sleep 4 hours at a time twice a day or some shit. Calls falling asleep at 0300 to 0400 being a reasonable time to go to sleep. AL has no idea how normal people function. You’re not an owl, dummy.

09:39 Says her psychiatrist wants to put her on anti anxiety meds. Whines that she’s not comfortable with that so they’re going to be talking about how to reduce her anxiety.


10:30 Now talking about healthy eating and shit. Apparently friend is doing very well with healthy eating and cooking, which made Amber realize that maybe she should be doing the same thing MORE FUCKING FRESHLY (You should shower so your body is freshly, you greasy slob). Then goes on and on about how she loves over processed bullshit, but says the safest bet is INSTANT AWKWARD SEGUEY INTO NOT WANTING TO GET THE FLU.

11:40 Sorry, I’m still reeling from that. WTF. My brain can’t process.

11:42 Now she’s talking about not wanting to leave her house at all. And that’s why she’s jumping on Freshly’s dick.

11:57 Professes her psychiatrist says she’s too worried about the flu, and Amber is constantly using hand sanitizer and stuff. BATHE, BUTTERBALL.

12:20 Now talking bout cancelling Freshly so she has to leave the house and learns to pick out her own food. OMG, this dumb bitch. She’s contemplating changing up what is apparently working. This is the start of her failure, folks!

12:40 “Do you guys think it’d be better for me to choose what I eat?” NO. NO NO NO. A MILLION TIMES NO.

13:02 Freshly Freshly Freshly. But she feels that she did better before Freshly because she could chose her own foods.

13:25 Going back out to go shopping even though they went to Kroger - wants to go to Walmart because she wants chili. Rarity tail appearance, lashing back and forth in obvious annoyance.

13:54 Going to go get in some steps.

14:16 “I want to talk more about my weight loss journey, even though this is not a weight loss journey but it’s important that I talk about it.” Make up your fucking mind.

14:48 Overate really badly yesterday, apparently. Says she’s down 53 pounds, but it’s not all rainbows and unicorns and shit because there’s dark stuff. Cries when she wants to overeat or when she eats something that’s high calorie. Maybe you should just stick to what Freshly ejaculates into your house as you ride its dick, dumb fuck.

15:43 Confesses to being an emotional eater. Professes that when she messes up she goes balls to the wall, but this time she’s doing things differently (overate by a couple thousand calories? Yeesh). Says instead of hanging on to that for a week+, she’s accepting that failure and just moving on and is proud of herself for moving on.

16:48 My brain is simpering as she whines that dieting is hard, because listening to her blabber is hard. Says she likes to distract herself with youtube and television. But that led to mindlessly eating, so she’s trying to do other things. Like color and steps. Like a toddler. How about you get a ring pyramid to stimulate your brain as well? It’s about at your level.

18:00 Says she’s convincing herself that gaining a couple pounds isn’t a failure so she doesn’t just outright give up. Professes that people are going to say ‘OMG you already failed’ but no, she’s lost 53 lbs and even though there’s been a lot of over eating she’s been able to get back on track.

18:52 She’s at a 75% to 25% success to failure ratio, apparently. Wants to get down to 5% failure rate. I foresee a 5% success rate later this year.

19:30 Now whining about living in fear. I am distracted by all the pimples and shit on her cheeks. Her face looks like hell.

19:57 She wants to be transparent. High transparicy, transparency, transparity, bleh bleh bleh. Fat brain eats words again.

20:33 Pineappleepinup is her new MFP as well. Says she has to get through a lot of friend requests, but feel free to friend request her.

21:14 Says she’s doing IF (kind of) and then blathers about having a Lean Cuisine orange chicken meal.

21:21 Our gorl has refined tastes - it has to be orange chicken from Panda Express, Lean Cuisine or Cheesecake Factory. Only the finest of shitty orange chicken for her! Orange chicken at Chinese buffets sucks because they don’t use white meat waaaaaaah

21:48 Whines that she wants to do steps, but doesn’t like the Apple Watch because the steps don’t update real-time like they do on a Fitbit.

22:14 Takes phone off tripod. Gasping that she finished her walking, says she did it for 10 minutes. Her heart rate was at 141 bpm a minute ago. Now 111. HOLY FUCKBALLS. GORL.

23:09 Says that back in April she couldn’t walk for a minute, now she’s able to do 10 minutes and ‘it’s so weird, yeah out of breath, hi! But nowhere near what it used to be’. Still don’t believe you. Promises to stop rambling after the next thing. Suuuure.

23:56 Says she’s been asked about doing more Instagram Q&As. Asked when she wants to be 499 lbs by. Professes her goal date is in her head and will not be shared because (us hayers are assholes and) if she says it out loud it doesn’t come true. So if you’re interested, she would document daily weigh ins until she gets to 499. Wants to be there by the beginning of March, preferably March 1st.

25:00 Says she overate in one day and gained 4 lbs, her fingers are swollen because of water retention. I would flail madly about how ‘water weight’ isn’t actual water, but the sperg would be wasted on this shitfest.

25:38 Professes she’s scale obsessed and that it’s helped her on her journey. Still fucking blathering. SHUT UP.

26:11 Says that the majority of the time, the scale is trending down. Asks for comments (though she hasn’t been checking on them because they’re scary), or message her on Instagram for instant weigh ins.

26:58 BPM is now down to 94. Now professes she’s going to end the video.

27:14 STILL TALKING. Says she’s going to film herself walking for 10 minutes. Says it gives her satisfaction to stick it to the hayers and laughing at she’s “not lying” hur hur hur.

28:06 Professes for the 3rd fucking time she’s going to end it. Finally does.

Edit: Formatting kicks my ass, of course.
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Slappy McGherkin

Bartender? Make that a double.
True & Honest Fan
So, analyzing the full body shot:
  • Shelf ass - intact
  • Triple fupa - intact
  • Back hump - intact
  • Layyggs - intact (assumed, she doesn't show them)
  • Poo bun - intact
  • T-rex arms - intact
  • Tiny tiddies - intact
  • Fat face - still intact, although she swears she sees a difference. I don't.
What am I missing? Where DID that 50 ellbees go??? Wait....

Wait... I think I know!

Okay, it's not on the visible outside. It's inside. Her brain is missing!