User Sub Fun Chris conversation, dropped July 25, 2014 -

Marvin

Christorical Figure
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Howdy fellas, so, I've got a conversation between a Chris-friend and Chris.
lol said:
June 28-29

[censored]: What is this task?

cwc: Alright. [censored] has set up a new OKCupid account for me with some info in the Profile, which I updated some of which. She had chosen and contacted a few women on there, but her choices were, shall we say, visible mite over a guessing 200 per woman (I state that with no offense meant to any of them). I prefer the average to slender; Maybe some small amount of tummy over, you may understand. [censored] gave up on contacting women for me; she did try very well to help me the best she was able to. I got a spot of nerve to contact a few myself, but no one replied. I asked [censored]; entrusted her with the details; she must have been too busy with her own life.

Now, I am settling for the "rest", so to speak. I am STILL very shy, and I have been very busy and stressed lately. I am asking you to find and contact some women local to me (with at least 50% match, and acceptable body type; no black women (not a racist; I just really do not feel comfortable dating them, and I have hung out with a few black women in my time; I [message cuts off]

Also, to take you up on your previous offer, can you PayPal me $20 for Gasoline, or rush a Sheetz gift card of the amount? The tank in our van is running low.

[censored]: I thought you had money now. how do you expect me to help contact women? i don't know anybody in virginia. i'm sorry [censored] didn't visit you.

cwc: Money has become tight again; went through the commission from Jennifer quick; a drawing piece with her drag race car. $200 went quick in my mother's shopping list and food, as well as the payment on my Toys R Store [sic] card.

Anyway...

You do not have to know anything about here to pretend to be me in a greeting. Do what you would normally do when flirting with a woman to get her response. I may even learn from you. All I'm asking is for you to find them and begin conversations with the first message. You won't have to send more than one message per woman.

cwc: I find it awkward and difficult for me to make the first conversation move in the message. I seem to come off awkward or something. They're not responding.

Just do what is normal: spot the best matches (high income with a job for her would be good), start the conversation with your version if [sic] "Hey there, Good-Lookin"" [sic] or whatever, and flirty openers.

OKCupid finds the women in Virginia. You don't have to know them personally. Check their Profile, Photos and Details. Oh, and Do Not answer any questions on OKC's Q&A set; I have already answered hundreds of them.

Fair enough?

[censored]: Chris, you're asking me to commit fraud by false identity by pretending to be you. what kind of groceries does your mom need $200 for?‽!

cwc: Alright forget the money. It is not fraud. All I am asking is making Greetings, Not entire conversations. I am not a flirting artist, and I more often than naught [sic] Blank Mind Out and Freeze Up.

cwc: Look, here's the info; log in and see for yourself.

Username:
LevelUpKing
[censored]

[censored]: Look, i can give you advice on what you should say, but i'm not going to do it for you.

cwc: Alright. I am listening.

[censored]: Don't use pickup lines. just tell her you think she's cool and you want to chat.

cwc: Really; "I find you very cool; would you like to chat a while over a light beverage?" Is it REALLY THAT Simple?!!

[censored]: The way you put it looked stilted and unnatural, have you listened to how people actually talk?

cwc: I have listened to how people talk throughout my life. Stilt and Unnatural; NOW do you see why I require Someone else to do the greetings for me, or that SHE has to make the first move?!

[censored]: It was just so... Fake. you can't just be talking to them to get a girlfriend. you need to be genuinely interested in the person and stop being self conscious and she'll talk to you. asking for a beverage date in the first message is a bad idea. i meant just chat in messages. it looks like you only know how to talk about yourself. ask her what her favorite things are and why she likes them and she'll blab for ages.

cwc: I am well aware to let her talk about herself and all that. I was not meaning to sound fake; it is called sincerity.

Yeah, in any case, it is Not that simple.

[censored]: I'm sorry to tell you this, but i'm not a big ladies man myself. i only have gal pals.

cwc: What?!! I thought this whole time you were the total opposite of what you are saying now.

Seriously?!....

UGH!!! You are really letting the oxygen out of my tank here!!!

[censored]: Why did you think that? i told you those things when you first contacted me. in any case the stuff i'm telling you is not irrelevant. i used to be like you and had to learn how to socialize. tell me, do you really want to have a beverage with strangers you don't evem [sic] know yet from a dating site?

cwc: Call me Old, and Old-Fashioned, but I Super Seriously Feel that conversation over a light beverage in a public place shortly after first contact, IS FAR SUPERIOR. Why the hell (now after all of the deceptive theoretical exes I have had to suffer after each breakup before meeting; all of them never really got to know me In Person. The Only Exception being that one woman liked me through that brown shirt Fake me (her name escapes my memory at the moment); She actually met me in person and liked ME better for the while until when he faked his hostage shit then flew the coop, leaving her at the alter. [sic]

I will not be having extensive conversations with damn faking Anons (for all I would know) upon initial; SHE HAS to Meet Me In Person Near Immediately, and therefore I extend the invitation to a pleasant conversation and light beverage in the public setting. I am NOT going to wait WEEKS TO MONTHS to Hopefully meet up, only to be Broken Up before we even Really got started AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN.
UGH!!!!

Also, either I missed that detail when you stated it, or more likely I ended up forgetting it. My bad.

Also, either I missed that detail when you stated it, or more likely I ended up forgetting it. My bad.

Also, either I missed that detail when you stated it, or more likely I ended up forgetting it. My bad. [sic (as in he really sent this three times)]

[censored]: That girl with the fake chris was kacey. they were both trolls. she never cared about you. i hate dating sites. don't they go against your beliefts of meeting people in person?

[censored]: Do you think [censored] likes you?

cwc: Who?

[censored]: That girl defending your Facebook statuses, she looks legit. i think you should private message her and tell her thank you. she likes legos.

cwc: ???
I can't find her; does she have a username different from "[censored]?"

cwc: I am drawing Mazarea in a "Flight Over Cwcville" with Angelica now.

Shortly after this is done, Bananasaur plays Scrabble with Punchy.

[censored]: Her username is [censored] (on your violin status)

[censored]: Those drawings sound awesome. can we pm on Facebook? it takes a long time for me to text.

cwc: Found her; she's okay looking in her photos. I'll ask you to communicate with her further to verify her identity, and let you get back to me.

cwc: Nah, I'm not changing my window, and besides I will need to get back to work.

BTW...

cwc: Seriously, though, for your consideration, do yourself a really big favor: go on Craigslist for your area; find yourself a ho to play with; dump your virginity. For me it was the BEST thing I was ever able to do for myself, TWICE. Now I don't feel as bad, because I won't be dying an untouched virgin. And I have not obsessed about sex so much since then.

Plus, she was a nice woman (the one I did it with); caring mother of two; half Cherokee; she was really good. You pick yourself a winner from your local area, kid. Give yourself the life-changing event, and you won't have to worry about it anymore. Alright, I'll check ya later.

[censored]: You're talking about a prostitute! do you even know how horrible that is?

[censored]: [censored] told me she is not a troll.

cwc: Quote me now: Abstinence is a Really Big, Bad Joke.

I will need more to go on than "I am not a troll"

Anyway, take my advice as you will and suit yourself. But I am serious: Abstinence is a Really Big, Horrible Joke.

[censored]: Did you finish the drawings?

cwc: Yes

cwc: They will be shipped as late as this coming Tuesday.

cwc: All four of them have their certificates and are in a yellow envelope with your name and address on it.

June 30

[censored]: So they are all in the post office?

cwc: I am afraid not yet, because I am still short funded. To make sure my family and I were fed after the last paid commission input, I required a more quick way to withdraw from PayPal than transferring to the bank(two or so DAYS). And I found out Target online accepts PayPal, so I purchased gift cards to buy us food more swiftly. Too much. We will be getting our SSI tomorrow, or I may finally get a check in the mail from a dude who intends to buy the violin. He mailed it like last Tuesday from CT. Not sure if it's US or Canada CT or whatever.

[censored]: Text me when it all ships.

cwc: Will do

[censored]: I am sorry i overreacted. i was slow in the mind and had bad judgement.
Ok, so, I've got a friend of a friend who was talking to Chris. I believe, based on the public evidence that it's legit. Also, all of the private evidence lines up.

I believe it's legit. Some of the private info matching up is very persuasive, but take it how you will.

Enjoy~~ :tomgirl:
 

generalmeldor

kiwifarms.net
[censored]: Look, i can give you advice on what you should say, but i'm not going to do it for you.

cwc: Alright. I am listening.

[censored]: Don't use pickup lines. just tell her you think she's cool and you want to chat.

cwc: Really; "I find you very cool; would you like to chat a while over a light beverage?" Is it REALLY THAT Simple?!!

[censored]: The way you put it looked stilted and unnatural, have you listened to how people actually talk?

cwc: I have listened to how people talk throughout my life. Stilt and Unnatural; NOW do you see why I require Someone else to do the greetings for me, or that SHE has to make the first move?!

[censored]: It was just so... Fake. you can't just be talking to them to get a girlfriend. you need to be genuinely interested in the person and stop being self conscious and she'll talk to you. asking for a beverage date in the first message is a bad idea. i meant just chat in messages. it looks like you only know how to talk about yourself. ask her what her favorite things are and why she likes them and she'll blab for ages.
I can relate to this. I have never been on a date, nor have I ever been in love, but I can take this advice to heart. Chris will probably not, but it's still good advice.
.
 

A-№1

A Hobo With Options
kiwifarms.net
The spendthrift said:
$200 went quick in my mother's shopping list and food, as well as the payment on my Toys R Store [sic] card.
Two hundred dollars doesn't buy as many legos as it used to, apparently.
Christian de Naïveté said:
You do not have to know anything about here to pretend to be me in a greeting. Do what you would normally do when flirting with a woman to get her response. I may even learn from you. All I'm asking is for you to find them and begin conversations with the first message. You won't have to send more than one message per woman.
Damn. Just damn. If you listen closely you can hear the sound of Edmund Rostand spinning in his grave.

On the one hand, at least Chris is beginning to realize he is the reason why "the best matches (high income with a job for her would be good)" aren't responding to his cries of "Hey there, Good-Lookin". But instead of trying to correct the problem himself, he assumes he's just not faking things hard enough and asks someone else to fake it on his behalf like some bad '70s sitcom ripping off a 19th century playwright.
cwc said:
Really; "I find you very cool; would you like to chat a while over a light beverage?" Is it REALLY THAT Simple?!!
Never mind asking a girl out for drinks right from the get-go, who the hell says "beverage"? I don't think I've heard anyone actually say beverage outside a menu, except as a joke.
Solid Chris said:
The Only Exception being that one woman liked me through that brown shirt Fake me (her name escapes my memory at the moment); She actually met me in person and liked ME better for the while until when he faked his hostage shit then flew the coop, leaving her at the alter. [sic]
Despite the fact that he's still obviously completely taken in by that particular bit of trolling, he can't even be bothered to remember Kacey's name. And he has to be told again it was all trolling. All of it.
Pimpin Weston Chandler said:
Seriously, though, for your consideration, do yourself a really big favor: go on Craigslist for your area; find yourself a ho to play with; dump your virginity. For me it was the BEST thing I was ever able to do for myself, TWICE. Now I don't feel as bad, because I won't be dying an untouched virgin. And I have not obsessed about sex so much since then.
BRB. Showering. In bleach.

Also "twice"? Those poor c-ville sales ladies.

Seeing as he's "not obsessed about sex" any more, I have to wonder why he really cares what his potential heartsweets look like so long as the deliver the legos and vidya. Then again, nothing but the best will do for the true and original creator of sonichu.
 

4Macie

The Cow Dullahan
kiwifarms.net
In the beginning of Chris's dating stuff we all got a glimpse of just how shallow he was... and now; it's as plain as that grease on his face. And just how the fuck did he forget Kacey? He wanted to MARRY her. He put more effort into Kacey than any other woman (Besides maybe Megan).

And he paid for that one hooker TWICE? Oh lordy; that poor woman... though just how the hell did he learn so much about her? Don't tell me he paid to talk to a hooker....
 

NegaCWC

kiwifarms.net
Chris said:
(now after all of the deceptive theoretical exes I have had to suffer after each breakup before meeting; all of them never really got to know me In Person. The Only Exception being that one woman liked me through that brown shirt Fake me (her name escapes my memory at the moment); She actually met me in person and liked ME better for the while until when he faked his hostage shit then flew the coop, leaving her at the alter.
1) Seeing that he thinks only Kacey was real, does that mean he now realizes that Ivy never really killed herself? In the last instance of Chris mentioning Ivy that is known to me, he seemed to think she was real.

2) Liquid ditched Kacey at the alter? When was that story told to Chris?
 
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Anchuent Christory

Socially Awesome and Cool.
kiwifarms.net
" do yourself a really big favor: go on Craigslist for your area; find yourself a ho to play with; dump your virginity. For me it was the BEST thing I was ever able to do for myself"

In his own words, his greatest achievement is paying a woman to lie back and let him stick his crooked penis in her. That's the crowning moment of his 32 years on this planet. Christ, he's set the bar so low it's underground.
 

slep

kiwifarms.net
Howdy fellas, so, I've got a conversation between a Chris-friend and Chris.


Ok, so, I've got a friend of a friend who was talking to Chris. I believe, based on the public evidence that it's legit. Also, all of the private evidence lines up.

I believe it's legit. Some of the private info matching up is very persuasive, but take it how you will.

Enjoy~~ :tomgirl:
Chris is lazy, but I never could have fathomed just how lazy! He even wants other people to do all the hard stuff for him like dating.

I bet when it's the sex time though, that is when Chris will step in and say "Okay I'll take over from here".
 
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