• "I curse all of you in the name of YHWH, that you die, and that YHWH takes your life, and that your insides rot with pestilence!"

Off-Topic Funny stories about Pregnancy scares/abortions

Discussion in 'Beauty Parlour' started by Ido, Jul 16, 2017.

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  1. If i was a girl, i would get pregnant as many times as possible, then have abortions after the third month of being pregnant so i would deliver a potato sized 1/3 developed dead fetus, then i would take the fetus, put it in a jar of preservative liquid and put it on a shelf in a secret room in my house, and i would do it until i had so many that the rooms walls were nothing but potato sized aborted fetuses, then i would have a kid and when they're bad i would make them sit in the fetus room.
     
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    Ido

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  2. I wish I never visited this thread.
     
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    Chill Fam

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  3. Maybe you and lolcow Raven Sparks can put your energies together to create a new Kunstkammer's "Anatomical Rarities" exhibit. Raven's already got a head start for you with some nasty tampons in jars she calls her miscarriages.

    Better do more research though, if your imaginary abortions are happening at three months your jars wouldn't be very impressive, two inch fetuses don't pack the gory punch you're aiming for.
     
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    MirnaMinkoff

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  4. nice meme OP
     
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    tehpope

    tehpope old man einstein crazy in his attic

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  5. This reminds me, I should have had my period by now....
     
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    entropyseekswork

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  6. Way ahead of you. :tomgirl:
     
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    Y2K Baby

    Y2K Baby Moo.

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  7. I was aborted once so now I'm an expert on the subject.
     
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    Feline Darkmage

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  8. they don't let you take it home, dumbass. and you'll need about five months to get a potato.

    everyone should have abortions though. they're like getting your teeth cleaned basically.

    the only time a doctor will believe a fertile woman is not pregnant is right after a d&c.
     
    cuddle striker

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  9. If OP was female, no one would fuck them.
     
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    ZeeMarin

    ZeeMarin ZeeMarin

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  10. No. What you do is get that recessed shelving that's built into the walls, have your hallway lined with that, and then when people walk down the hall in your house, they have to run an aborted fetus gauntlet.
     
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    Broken Pussy

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  11. Get that shit back lit with an amber glow, too, for that vintage macabre curio look.
     
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    DatBepisTho

    DatBepisTho Cryptid shitlord

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  12. I've got a whole bunch of vintage mason jars my mom gave me, for that extra bit of country chic.
     
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    Broken Pussy

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  13. Anyone who has a abortion goes to hell.
     
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