Furry Fandom and Drama General -

JethroTullamore

Continuing the Irish tradition of alcoholism
kiwifarms.net
The furries have decided to cancel Majira Strawberry for being friends with pedo-defenders and zoophile-defenders.



Which, honestly? Fucking yeah. Go with it, you sad lads.
Is this like the furry version of “eat the rich”?
Anyone who’s popular in the furry fandom must be attacked, because they don’t deserve to be that popular and shouldn’t have had that much success on YouTube/FA/instagram whatever-the-fuck so they must be torn down and brought to everyone else’s level no matter the cost?

It seems like this happens to every single one of them eventually, no matter how hard they try to avoid it.
 

round robin

kiwifarms.net
Is this like the furry version of “eat the rich”?
Anyone who’s popular in the furry fandom must be attacked, because they don’t deserve to be that popular and shouldn’t have had that much success on YouTube/FA/instagram whatever-the-fuck so they must be torn down and brought to everyone else’s level no matter the cost?

It seems like this happens to every single one of them eventually, no matter how hard they try to avoid it.
The only ones who will ever avoid it are the loud revolutionary/commie LARPers, mostly because they're the ones usually starting shit and also most furries are willing to look past all the awful shit they do because of all the "good" they do.

Run-of-the-mill apolitical popufurs are ripe for takedowns since, as you said, furries typically have an "eat the rich" mindset. They adore their party leaders tho.
 

Cactus Wings

Coughing for Cash
kiwifarms.net
Is this like the furry version of “eat the rich”?
Anyone who’s popular in the furry fandom must be attacked, because they don’t deserve to be that popular and shouldn’t have had that much success on YouTube/FA/instagram whatever-the-fuck so they must be torn down and brought to everyone else’s level no matter the cost?

It seems like this happens to every single one of them eventually, no matter how hard they try to avoid it.
And the ones who do the blaming are the ones tweeting 18 times a day hoping for the same fame. ie. Prawst and their sort.

I underline this to my friends who end up around these people over and over: This is an American issues. I see fucking nobody talk politics in the european fandom, and those who do, are talking about US politics from afar.

Nobody cares about politics but those who are willing to die for it, yet seemingly never have any political activity in their daily life. Not even part of a youth party.
 

Corn Flakes

No frosting, all flavor.
kiwifarms.net

Where's my Russian privilege, fool?!
I love how even the guy trying to be "reasonable" still gets shit 100% wrong.

"Black" isn't just one race in America either, you dumbasses. Go ask a Jamaican immigrant what they think about the "standard" African-American. Or a Senegalese immigrant. And even within the majorly (West-African) African-American community in America, you still get a lot of cultural variance once you look beyond kids listening to rap and actually look at their traditions. Hell, the easiest way to tell is to look at how black people in different states in the South have different variations of (or even entirely different) cuisine based on the historical context of these states and how they lived there.

All that because people isolated from their origins and being denied traditions and culture will make their own. There's a lot more to your culture and your ancestry than just your fucking skin color.
 

FursuitSerialKiller

kiwifarms.net
I love how even the guy trying to be "reasonable" still gets shit 100% wrong.

"Black" isn't just one race in America either, you dumbasses. Go ask a Jamaican immigrant what they think about the "standard" African-American. Or a Senegalese immigrant. And even within the majorly (West-African) African-American community in America, you still get a lot of cultural variance once you look beyond kids listening to rap and actually look at their traditions. Hell, the easiest way to tell is to look at how black people in different states in the South have different variations of (or even entirely different) cuisine based on the historical context of these states and how they lived there.

All that because people isolated from their origins and being denied traditions and culture will make their own. There's a lot more to your culture and your ancestry than just your fucking skin color.
Your average furry isn't experienced or smart enough to handle grown up conversations on race, color and culture. It's all regurgitated sound bites from people five steps up the social media chain they want to emulate.

It's why I bitch about them not walking the walk when it comes to social work and community engagement.
 

Grapefruct

kiwifarms.net
Nas decided to reactivate his account and wrote up a long explanation in fucking center aligned text.

https://twitter.com/nasfk_/status/1305699517589860352 (https://archive.md/ifW1G)

Like It Is
@nasfk_





To my former trans mutuals and followers, victims of abuse, and those I was previously involved with that were caught in the crossfire that night in July, I am sorry you all had to be subjected to those ugly remarks and tweets. I know that made it easier to write me off, they were something I was a passenger to as I descended into crazed rage from being wrongly publicly vilified. They were regrettable things to say that I dare not repeat and the backlash from them were entirely warranted. When you’re getting laid into by everyone from your ex smugly championing himself for telling half the story, to mutuals you can’t tell are with you or against you in the heat of it all, to the person you made an enemy of reminding you that you will never amount to shit, to the random 18 year olds throwing arms in your dms, and the one guy in your DM‘s saying you could have avoided all this by just staying with black women, etc. it all makes your vision and decision making blurry and rash. You can be tipped off ahead of time by the lone then-mutual that was willing to go up to bat for you but when the moment arrives and you see a 12 minute old tweet that’s already done damage at the top of the search results for your handle I don’t think anyone can really be expected to be clear, concise, and level headed when being jumped from all angles as they’re frozen from knowing their online life is about to change drastically.



I know most of you who at one point personally knew me were in disbelief to hear allegations that I committed several disturbing crimes over the past few years. You’ve probably said this is out of character from the person you knew, I know I’ve been vilified by this and adjacent communities and with this hopefully that’ll come to an end. There must be substantial change to occur within the way our community members online carry out their methods of justice. Since all this came out I lost all shreds of credibility and my word carries no weight to people that took the allegations and related statements as fact before I got a real word out, so I’m essentially preaching to whoever’s left in my choir which is fine by me. I ask that you disregard tweets, comments made, and my manic behavior that led to edgy and offensive tweets and reactions before I read and examined the initial document. The reason why I sounded so accepting of being ousted from the con board in the initial screenshots is because I was going off what I knew about my past involvements, not that I was being accused of stealthing. For a year the topic of disgruntlement between Colby and I was how at every turn I found a way to deviate from plans or was not respectful of his time, only in the beginning of July of 2020 did it become a matter of whether the experience was entirely consensual. A lot of the anonymous accounts are dated and I cannot be made to answer things from when I was 17-21 years old.



The allegations of sexual misconduct made by a former colleague of mine are unfounded and have done irreparable damage to my health and standing within this community. I was entirely blindsided by the claim made, I was the last person to find out about these revelations and it was unfair to me that I was never truly given a chance to be aware of how they felt without tens of thousands of others finding out at the same time. For a year our root of conflict was how at every turn I found a way to deviate from plans and not make time for him, it was not until July 1st the question was whether the experience was entirely consensual. His memory of our experience and of my opinions on anatomy fails him and I would’ve rather he consulted me on this before broadcasting it to all of Twitter. There is an onus to communicate uncomfortable feelings right then and there, it doesn’t always happen or there isn’t enough body language to signify something is a miss. But it’s not even that because there was verbal consent to what went down, there had to be or there was no way we’d go forward. This is an issue of consent culture that’s morphed into a Nas issue that’s remedy was cutting me out of the equation. These issues should have never been made into a fandom wide discussion.



My perspective from the night in question:



“That night it was Saturday night/early sunday morning at fwa. We're at a snuggle party and he comes over whispering he’s going back to our shared room if I wanna keep him company. I follow him back and we de-suit, it’s getting hot. I grab a rubber from my toiletries bag and try sliding it on, idk why but my dick always has aversions to jimmies apparently but it deflates as I try to get it on. So while that’s happening the both of us mull over trying it raw, we had to reach an agreement then because otherwise we would have not proceeded. He gets on top and we’re going for a hot minute. In the weeks leading up to the con we discussed starting making nsfw content together so I had the presence of mind to pull my phone off the charger and start filming us. We flip positions still going rubberless, he finishes, I finish myself off, we go rejoin our group later on. A day later in between FWA and BLFC I sent him the clip I took on my phone and at the time he gave it praise.”



Our understanding of consent seems to be more black and white than it is in reality. I can’t speak for Colby’s personal experience, but I’m sure there have been many times where someone has felt deeply uncomfortable during sex but has acted enthusiastic and consenting for the sake of saving what could be a worse encounter. Maybe speaking up when something is uncomfortable is harder to do than to bear through it, especially if there is trauma around denying a sexual partner something? I’m sure this is even more of an issue for trans masc people, who are more prone to sexual trauma. But should we call an encounter like this rape? Is that person a rapist for being unable to see the “no” beyond the yes in verbal and body consent? I would personally say this is more of a tragedy of miscommunication than anything else. At the time, I had no way of knowing Colby felt uncomfortable because I did not pick up on any signs that they may have felt this way. And in the events after that night and up until the call out post, I was never given the chance to recognize something had gone wrong, let alone digest that without the world watching and judging the events as rape right off the bat.



With regards to paying for my BLFC expenses, Colby had covered the expenses while I was caught up in someone else’s issue with a financial issue that is more a sign of how screwed up loan collectors in the United States can be resulting in my accounts being temporarily frozen because they were also under the other person's name. He promptly received the amount spent back when my accounts were restored. I wanted a slice of everyone at 22 and I didn’t care how or when, this unusually cruel behavior led me to do unconscionable things and the destruction and damage to various relationships with people. I’d like to think I’m better than that now. Don’t rush to get grown.



The claims made by my recent former partner are half truths and skewed perspectives short of context to show how things reached their points. Most of his contributions were details about the falling out of our break up because he does not have multiple paragraphs of print worthy misdoings from our time together.



I wasn’t vague about my day to day life with him, I was a workaholic that if I wasn’t working I would be crashing hard on the couch. We had feeler talks of moving to when and where when the topic was brought up as early as November when talks between us got more serious, who initiated I can’t remember but even then I was surprised to have that talk. He was reluctant to move from where he’s at and I had grown tired of life stateside, he was enthusiastic about idly for me. I was willing to uproot myself and start life new with him when I was ready. Going to school on the Isle sounded nice but realistically the cost and factors of studying abroad where I’m taking baby steps learning the language made the jump impossible and had to settle in a school closer to home. Should I have consulted him on this before announcing it to our shared mutuals on private Twitter? absolutely. With regards to wanting to move so early in our relationship, on that day I had the most frustrating experience in my environment at work in a long time and was looking to blow off steam, it wasn’t a legitimate proposal. I explained to him as such so he knew this and still put that out there as if I’m trying to leave the country in under a month of dating.



What Soren won’t tell you about the deadnaming was that in both cases they were return fire in joke sessions where he threw out my government name first. Yeah it sounds like a playground “he started it” I don’t care. I don’t want my other name thrown out as much as he does, I don’t use it anywhere, not even around non furry locals. Don’t ask me what it was like working with Samuel L. Jackson on Pulp Fiction if you don’t want me asking what it was like working with [retracted play on alternate spelling of his deadname]; not a 1:1 example but it gets the point across. Granted the second time he threw my name out for jokes I could’ve read the room better because earlier that day or the day before he went though getting paperwork done and had to hear [deadname] 20 times and went on to tell me afterwards how it made him die inside. The recordings and conflicts history of phone sexing were also misunderstandings and miscommunications on verbiage that were previously talked through. There were no pleas for deletion, at least none that I can recall, should I have consulted him on recording beforehand? Of course. Disappointed that he would bring up jealousy and insecurity for when I make a string of emojis at one of a handful of mutuals that’d turn into an hour of reassuring messages. I. Loved. Him. I was committed to being by his side, I never wanted anything close to outside relationships when we were together. I went as far as calling off hookups or getting out of rooms with people I thought about getting with at cons long before we got serious again. Every other account he mentions was a half truth. He seldom expressed concerns about my behavior when with me and waited until long after the fact to bring them up, it would’ve been so much more useful had I known about these things when they were happening. If nothing else we never established solid communication at any point of knowing each other. I will not be made to answer to details post breakup as they’re not relevant and I’m inclined to believe he added those details to embarrass me.





The claims made by my partner before last are mostly true and I do not have too great of a defense for them. Admittedly towards the end of our relationship I was tanking on my end to push him to break up with me so I could fuck his friends guilt free. I was a terrible partner with little experience in being in a union that was not ready to love nor be loved, I have accepted this and have tried to grow from this.



With regards to unsafe practices, I’ve always made sure to keep up to date with regular testing especially following my scare when I forgot to pee after sex and thought I was gonna die. Partners past and present were made aware of us.



At first I didn’t care to read what Wolf wrote because he wrote his contribution in a night and the opinions of my character from someone I only started taking to less than a month prior is not one I consider, especially when I know at the time he wrote it he was still heated because Akari’s mess was fresh in our heads and the consensus assumption then was I knew more than I led on or helped sneak. I was along for the ride, snakes get bit by other snakes without even knowing it. By the time the Minnesota trip arrived I was a year removed from involvement with Levi/the con swing not actively partaking in that type of behavior and felt it did not apply to me then. I got butstonked and laid an egg on that stream, I acknowledged this. Before I jumped into that venture I should’ve reminded myself that I’m shy around new people and know nothing about their friend dynamic and it’s not easy for me to just blend in. Would’ve saved a lot of time and maybe myself of this if I didn’t go along with being shoehorned into other people’s business.



I will not be made to answer possibly inebriated encounters from cons or anonymous accounts dating back to when I was 19-21, some of which I dispute are not what they appear to be. I cannot do anything for someone holding onto a bad run in from that long ago and if they’ve held onto something back when I was barely an adult then that’s their issue.



I’ve known why people stopped wanting to be around me, no one wants to surround themselves with an ill-tempered drunk that doesn't take lightly to rejection and is known for being insatiably horny. I stopped drinking at cons and went sober for a year. I sought help. But when I got myself together for a while there not many of those affected took a chance on me, the ones that did were semi forced to because I was in close proximity to Soren, and when that ended they followed suit. The social rejection on top of my failing state of affairs was very depressing and eventually I relapsed hard developing new issues. And when that happens smug ex mutuals that said they’d be there to talk one day and tuned out the next show up in your replies giving you the business. The same people that were throwing out feelers and led me to believe they were interested in the months leading up to the con swing and admitted to such turn around and report on thinking about wanting to hook up like it’s some discomforting revelation, this whole community is a set up. But honestly nothing I’d would have ever been enough for them because the truth is they counted me out after the fallout from BLFC and didn’t have the guts to say they wanted nothing to do with me anymore then. No matter where I went they would have held this against me and waited to come around only when they saw I was off the rails again.



It was as if I lived for their amusement like they viewed me from behind a glass and no matter what I grew into I was never going to escape my past. So within this cage they’ve made for me is exactly where you’ll find me at.



There has to be mixups in communication or other revelations made room for speculation because I couldn’t make a guess who the anonymous dick haver I personally knew that I was allegedly talking about hosting for bad intentions when I was with someone else because I can’t think of one I was close enough in those time frames to do more than share a bed during a con. I wasn’t fit to host during then anyways, during these times I was in and out of places mostly living in my parent’s house and I have always been resistant to bringing anything from my online life around them because they don’t get it or find it abnormal. Under no circumstance would I bring bringing someone I met online back to the house and spend the first three hours discussing what non-binary is. I deny ill intent on this.



I’m not going to entertain the idea of “love bombing”.



I don’t care to read what Saberthot wrote about me because it isn’t as deep as demanding two pages. They were a mutual of mine, I came on strong at one con where we got a meal together, we sorta talked/followed each other’s privs, they unfollowed when things stagnated, I said something comically goofy that looking back deserved mockery. Weeks pass and I make an effort to keep them as a friend that gets swatted down, they cite how we don’t like how we don’t message often and I explain how I don’t message anyone often, they don’t bite. Ask anyone that was a close mutual, non-love interest, of mine and if they say we dm’d more than once every two weeks or so they’re lying, I have never been a fan of text messaging. FWA comes by and they’re surprised I don’t have much to say to them, what do you expect we haven’t been mutuals nor interacted with each other‘s tweets in weeks. BLFC comes by and they catch me one time when I was visibly frustrated at not being able to find people I was looking for and not in the mood to be stopped. I have not heard from them since.



Transmasc people aren’t toys to me, something to love one day and shelve the next. I set myself up by always coming in with high energy then realize such a level is hard to sustain. There is nothing wrong with my history of choice of partners and it was used against me in tandem with the allegations to push a chaser narrative. I have no intent to stop pursuing relations with transmasc individuals.



I absolutely loved having people from my past resurface with tales of how they warned me about their abuser I used to be mutuals with and at the time I did nothing about it or claim I dismissed them. It’s not that I didn’t believe them, it's that I'm scrolling Instagram at 2pm and I get a message from someone I tentatively know about another person I tentatively know. Now I’m holding a blobfish as I’m scrolling fursuit crushes because someone drew me art and I shared it. I didn’t know what to make of it then, it wasn’t until other accounts came out seemingly at the same time later that things added up. Are we expected to skip over other channels of processing and act on the first thing we hear about somebody? Why is there this much pressure to believe victims when they first come out or you’re an enabler or you contribute to rape culture? I’m not saying that they aren’t to be believed but you can’t expect me to always make a decision on new information presented to me on the spot. I’ll put a pin in it and I’ll digest it on my own. This is part of a larger issue where people with larger followings are expected to exercise judgment on strangers because of another stranger's word. I cannot tell you the number of times someone has DM’d me asking to retweet or make a post on whoever because of the sizable following I had.



I have no desire to make further changes to my life as I feel I’ve done enough already. I’ve been in and out of facilities since high school and I’m presently being made to answer to things from when I was a young adult or when I was 21 and 22; back when I didn’t know how to love and wasn’t ready for a relationship, when I wanted to be the young and reckless savage free agent that put the non-committal in non-committal relations, and recently when I spent a year building myself up for someone that doesn’t know how to express discomfort in a timely manner. Too often do we tell people with serious problems to just get therapy as if going for a couple of sessions will do anything for anyone. Doctors and psychiatrists cannot be pictured as always helpful and unbiased community workers, because the system has failed so many people. My own ex shared horror stories of how his specialists didn’t read the room when mentioning jarring parts of his life yet his reaction to being fed up was still to go to a therapist, incredible. It is a lot of responsibility to care for someone in a really hard place and holding a degree in psychology doesn’t always mean you’ll get better advice than from the transient holding a “spread love” sign at an intersection.



If you want to see me go back so badly then pay for my sessions because I do not have another cent for this.



Why did I tweet that thing in the first place? I was so frustrated with everything at the time, COVID - related furlough from work, irregular stimulus assistance, expensive car repairs, some family trouble I can’t remember, Soren growing colder and colder to me, etc. It was as if I was being blindsided by all aspects of life at once. If nothing else that tweet was a lapse of judgement that was a wicked way of me crying for a hug or some help. And now the last bit of pleasure I had in my life is gone.



My online life has been derailed by people with critically bad memories, those that paint half the picture, and others that want me to answer to things 3+ years ago. Others that checked out a year ago and only came around again when they saw I was tweeting in an upset fit are not going to give me life advice.



I do not want to hear about how those involved came forward wanting to see me change for the better, they have been around long enough to know the lasting effects from accusations like these on someone’s reputation. This destroyed me. People were writing me off before I got a word out. No matter what steps I take or what avenue I turn the first things people will think of me from now on are chaser and abuser and people will be hesitant to be around me because I’m being held to the image of when I was 19-22, especially when it all revolves around fraudulent claims of assault. No one wants to hang around someone even alleged of doing what I didn’t. There was never going to be a truly positive outcome because posts like “personal experiences” and their subsequent community reaction of pressuring and hounding to get a word out and being run out of town have never worked in the history of furry nor the Internet.



Even if I hadn’t made those tweets when I saw red it didn’t matter what I’d say back, an overwhelming number of people already made up their minds before I got a word out. I was dead before I knew it.



“This post of allegations is gonna go out and it doesn’t matter if we verify it first or if or what you say in your defense, we are taking this personally because of how it’s presented. As strangers we’ll make ourselves the judges in these personal situations and at every turn we will warn people about you tell them to unfollow, decimating your friend group and fandom resources and at the end of the day tell you to figure it out on your own and still not admit you to our spaces when you do.” There has got to be another way.



What even happens after that, when you’re depleted of resources and have no one to turn to because everyone’s in a fit of rage when your name gets brought up or blocks off communications with you. Get it out the mud as if you know where to start from and then what? Come tail between my legs with report cards from my therapist to give to people affected? Only to still get looked at like a pariah a decade later? What happens after you get harassed offline, then what? Now there’s another troubled person with no way to get a hold of them. What good does that do? Does that resemble justice at all?



I have no intent to leave this fandom but with how I fumbled these revelations this is all too little too late and it is likely in my best interest that I unceremoniously retire Nas. Even when exonerated of the most heinous crime alleged, with how this and other online communities accept allegations as fact it would follow that identity forever and there is no escaping allowed to move forward from it and constantly made to answer to past conflicts if I decided to keep him as my persona. I am sad I can no longer use him but fittingly this is how he had to go out for he was like Melville’s Ahab and ended up being taken down tied to my obsession for greed and instant gratification.



I do not believe I was ever going to get a fair shake honestly, in the days leading up to it a certain subset of my mutuals began unfollowing and soft blocking seemingly out of nowhere, unbeknownst to me that something major was circulating in private circles. When I was confronted by the other members of the con board I was part of they had already made their decision on my future before it was brought to my attention. In hindsight I should have asked what explicitly was being alleged before responding but then again I would have never imagined I’d be accused of assaulting someone. It wasn’t Colby’s responsibility to inform me that he and several others were coming out with a post about me, however it was unfair to me that I had no real time to prepare for such news and was effectively made the last person to know how he felt or that I found out at the same time thousands of onlookers that, of course, saw a huge wall of text and accepted it as fact.



A majority of the accounts stem from breakdowns in communication, some of which may or may not have been worthy of print or were better discussed behind closed doors, and ultimately it was at the expense of my reputation.



I let down a lot of people that believed in me, Idk man I liked having a big account but after I took my foot off the gas with being loud about what twitter led me to believe was activism and being a goofy furry it felt uncomfortable having people come up saying they looked up to me. Admiration was cool but most days I’d fall back on past banger tweets and just wanna go about my day scrolling twitter. I couldn’t hold up to the standards people online wanted from me when I was still developing on my own dealing with personal battles I dare not mention to the whole internet (too late for that I guess). I was not fine bro I ran a funny furry twitter account. Some days I’d be hiding in plain sight tweeting things that would normally raise eyebrows from concerned mutuals but would instead go relatively viral. I was entrusted by a lot of this communities members why, because I made some funny videos, had a black-coded fursona, and was off and on with tweeting about standing up against nazi furries? I think part of it was because during the time I rose to prominence the bar for what new furries looked for in inspiration was in Hell. I know this will change because the future is bright for furries of color.



I want change in how we go about handling personal matters, how you handle those you suspect are mentally unwell, and not treating alleged crimes like fact as so many did before I could react properly. I want this not for myself but the next allegations haver down the line. I don’t mean swarming and harassing until someone gets pressured offline or pushed out of communities, this helps no one. Real change in protocol, real discussions and open dialogue when feelings change, not closed doors discussions and making decisions on people’s character before they get a word out when confronted and blindsiding allegations to the public that only create volatility and permanently damaged reputations.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-0jhkdSlx0bk9laq1d0bTZkRdOL6TVF4SR3ebSNsYcc/mobilebasic
 

Catch Your Breath

Designated Tard Reviewer
Local Moderator
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Nas decided to reactivate his account and wrote up a long explanation in fucking center aligned text.

https://twitter.com/nasfk_/status/1305699517589860352 (https://archive.md/ifW1G)

Like It Is
@nasfk_





To my former trans mutuals and followers, victims of abuse, and those I was previously involved with that were caught in the crossfire that night in July, I am sorry you all had to be subjected to those ugly remarks and tweets. I know that made it easier to write me off, they were something I was a passenger to as I descended into crazed rage from being wrongly publicly vilified. They were regrettable things to say that I dare not repeat and the backlash from them were entirely warranted. When you’re getting laid into by everyone from your ex smugly championing himself for telling half the story, to mutuals you can’t tell are with you or against you in the heat of it all, to the person you made an enemy of reminding you that you will never amount to shit, to the random 18 year olds throwing arms in your dms, and the one guy in your DM‘s saying you could have avoided all this by just staying with black women, etc. it all makes your vision and decision making blurry and rash. You can be tipped off ahead of time by the lone then-mutual that was willing to go up to bat for you but when the moment arrives and you see a 12 minute old tweet that’s already done damage at the top of the search results for your handle I don’t think anyone can really be expected to be clear, concise, and level headed when being jumped from all angles as they’re frozen from knowing their online life is about to change drastically.



I know most of you who at one point personally knew me were in disbelief to hear allegations that I committed several disturbing crimes over the past few years. You’ve probably said this is out of character from the person you knew, I know I’ve been vilified by this and adjacent communities and with this hopefully that’ll come to an end. There must be substantial change to occur within the way our community members online carry out their methods of justice. Since all this came out I lost all shreds of credibility and my word carries no weight to people that took the allegations and related statements as fact before I got a real word out, so I’m essentially preaching to whoever’s left in my choir which is fine by me. I ask that you disregard tweets, comments made, and my manic behavior that led to edgy and offensive tweets and reactions before I read and examined the initial document. The reason why I sounded so accepting of being ousted from the con board in the initial screenshots is because I was going off what I knew about my past involvements, not that I was being accused of stealthing. For a year the topic of disgruntlement between Colby and I was how at every turn I found a way to deviate from plans or was not respectful of his time, only in the beginning of July of 2020 did it become a matter of whether the experience was entirely consensual. A lot of the anonymous accounts are dated and I cannot be made to answer things from when I was 17-21 years old.



The allegations of sexual misconduct made by a former colleague of mine are unfounded and have done irreparable damage to my health and standing within this community. I was entirely blindsided by the claim made, I was the last person to find out about these revelations and it was unfair to me that I was never truly given a chance to be aware of how they felt without tens of thousands of others finding out at the same time. For a year our root of conflict was how at every turn I found a way to deviate from plans and not make time for him, it was not until July 1st the question was whether the experience was entirely consensual. His memory of our experience and of my opinions on anatomy fails him and I would’ve rather he consulted me on this before broadcasting it to all of Twitter. There is an onus to communicate uncomfortable feelings right then and there, it doesn’t always happen or there isn’t enough body language to signify something is a miss. But it’s not even that because there was verbal consent to what went down, there had to be or there was no way we’d go forward. This is an issue of consent culture that’s morphed into a Nas issue that’s remedy was cutting me out of the equation. These issues should have never been made into a fandom wide discussion.



My perspective from the night in question:



“That night it was Saturday night/early sunday morning at fwa. We're at a snuggle party and he comes over whispering he’s going back to our shared room if I wanna keep him company. I follow him back and we de-suit, it’s getting hot. I grab a rubber from my toiletries bag and try sliding it on, idk why but my dick always has aversions to jimmies apparently but it deflates as I try to get it on. So while that’s happening the both of us mull over trying it raw, we had to reach an agreement then because otherwise we would have not proceeded. He gets on top and we’re going for a hot minute. In the weeks leading up to the con we discussed starting making nsfw content together so I had the presence of mind to pull my phone off the charger and start filming us. We flip positions still going rubberless, he finishes, I finish myself off, we go rejoin our group later on. A day later in between FWA and BLFC I sent him the clip I took on my phone and at the time he gave it praise.”



Our understanding of consent seems to be more black and white than it is in reality. I can’t speak for Colby’s personal experience, but I’m sure there have been many times where someone has felt deeply uncomfortable during sex but has acted enthusiastic and consenting for the sake of saving what could be a worse encounter. Maybe speaking up when something is uncomfortable is harder to do than to bear through it, especially if there is trauma around denying a sexual partner something? I’m sure this is even more of an issue for trans masc people, who are more prone to sexual trauma. But should we call an encounter like this rape? Is that person a rapist for being unable to see the “no” beyond the yes in verbal and body consent? I would personally say this is more of a tragedy of miscommunication than anything else. At the time, I had no way of knowing Colby felt uncomfortable because I did not pick up on any signs that they may have felt this way. And in the events after that night and up until the call out post, I was never given the chance to recognize something had gone wrong, let alone digest that without the world watching and judging the events as rape right off the bat.



With regards to paying for my BLFC expenses, Colby had covered the expenses while I was caught up in someone else’s issue with a financial issue that is more a sign of how screwed up loan collectors in the United States can be resulting in my accounts being temporarily frozen because they were also under the other person's name. He promptly received the amount spent back when my accounts were restored. I wanted a slice of everyone at 22 and I didn’t care how or when, this unusually cruel behavior led me to do unconscionable things and the destruction and damage to various relationships with people. I’d like to think I’m better than that now. Don’t rush to get grown.



The claims made by my recent former partner are half truths and skewed perspectives short of context to show how things reached their points. Most of his contributions were details about the falling out of our break up because he does not have multiple paragraphs of print worthy misdoings from our time together.



I wasn’t vague about my day to day life with him, I was a workaholic that if I wasn’t working I would be crashing hard on the couch. We had feeler talks of moving to when and where when the topic was brought up as early as November when talks between us got more serious, who initiated I can’t remember but even then I was surprised to have that talk. He was reluctant to move from where he’s at and I had grown tired of life stateside, he was enthusiastic about idly for me. I was willing to uproot myself and start life new with him when I was ready. Going to school on the Isle sounded nice but realistically the cost and factors of studying abroad where I’m taking baby steps learning the language made the jump impossible and had to settle in a school closer to home. Should I have consulted him on this before announcing it to our shared mutuals on private Twitter? absolutely. With regards to wanting to move so early in our relationship, on that day I had the most frustrating experience in my environment at work in a long time and was looking to blow off steam, it wasn’t a legitimate proposal. I explained to him as such so he knew this and still put that out there as if I’m trying to leave the country in under a month of dating.



What Soren won’t tell you about the deadnaming was that in both cases they were return fire in joke sessions where he threw out my government name first. Yeah it sounds like a playground “he started it” I don’t care. I don’t want my other name thrown out as much as he does, I don’t use it anywhere, not even around non furry locals. Don’t ask me what it was like working with Samuel L. Jackson on Pulp Fiction if you don’t want me asking what it was like working with [retracted play on alternate spelling of his deadname]; not a 1:1 example but it gets the point across. Granted the second time he threw my name out for jokes I could’ve read the room better because earlier that day or the day before he went though getting paperwork done and had to hear [deadname] 20 times and went on to tell me afterwards how it made him die inside. The recordings and conflicts history of phone sexing were also misunderstandings and miscommunications on verbiage that were previously talked through. There were no pleas for deletion, at least none that I can recall, should I have consulted him on recording beforehand? Of course. Disappointed that he would bring up jealousy and insecurity for when I make a string of emojis at one of a handful of mutuals that’d turn into an hour of reassuring messages. I. Loved. Him. I was committed to being by his side, I never wanted anything close to outside relationships when we were together. I went as far as calling off hookups or getting out of rooms with people I thought about getting with at cons long before we got serious again. Every other account he mentions was a half truth. He seldom expressed concerns about my behavior when with me and waited until long after the fact to bring them up, it would’ve been so much more useful had I known about these things when they were happening. If nothing else we never established solid communication at any point of knowing each other. I will not be made to answer to details post breakup as they’re not relevant and I’m inclined to believe he added those details to embarrass me.





The claims made by my partner before last are mostly true and I do not have too great of a defense for them. Admittedly towards the end of our relationship I was tanking on my end to push him to break up with me so I could fuck his friends guilt free. I was a terrible partner with little experience in being in a union that was not ready to love nor be loved, I have accepted this and have tried to grow from this.



With regards to unsafe practices, I’ve always made sure to keep up to date with regular testing especially following my scare when I forgot to pee after sex and thought I was gonna die. Partners past and present were made aware of us.



At first I didn’t care to read what Wolf wrote because he wrote his contribution in a night and the opinions of my character from someone I only started taking to less than a month prior is not one I consider, especially when I know at the time he wrote it he was still heated because Akari’s mess was fresh in our heads and the consensus assumption then was I knew more than I led on or helped sneak. I was along for the ride, snakes get bit by other snakes without even knowing it. By the time the Minnesota trip arrived I was a year removed from involvement with Levi/the con swing not actively partaking in that type of behavior and felt it did not apply to me then. I got butstonked and laid an egg on that stream, I acknowledged this. Before I jumped into that venture I should’ve reminded myself that I’m shy around new people and know nothing about their friend dynamic and it’s not easy for me to just blend in. Would’ve saved a lot of time and maybe myself of this if I didn’t go along with being shoehorned into other people’s business.



I will not be made to answer possibly inebriated encounters from cons or anonymous accounts dating back to when I was 19-21, some of which I dispute are not what they appear to be. I cannot do anything for someone holding onto a bad run in from that long ago and if they’ve held onto something back when I was barely an adult then that’s their issue.



I’ve known why people stopped wanting to be around me, no one wants to surround themselves with an ill-tempered drunk that doesn't take lightly to rejection and is known for being insatiably horny. I stopped drinking at cons and went sober for a year. I sought help. But when I got myself together for a while there not many of those affected took a chance on me, the ones that did were semi forced to because I was in close proximity to Soren, and when that ended they followed suit. The social rejection on top of my failing state of affairs was very depressing and eventually I relapsed hard developing new issues. And when that happens smug ex mutuals that said they’d be there to talk one day and tuned out the next show up in your replies giving you the business. The same people that were throwing out feelers and led me to believe they were interested in the months leading up to the con swing and admitted to such turn around and report on thinking about wanting to hook up like it’s some discomforting revelation, this whole community is a set up. But honestly nothing I’d would have ever been enough for them because the truth is they counted me out after the fallout from BLFC and didn’t have the guts to say they wanted nothing to do with me anymore then. No matter where I went they would have held this against me and waited to come around only when they saw I was off the rails again.



It was as if I lived for their amusement like they viewed me from behind a glass and no matter what I grew into I was never going to escape my past. So within this cage they’ve made for me is exactly where you’ll find me at.



There has to be mixups in communication or other revelations made room for speculation because I couldn’t make a guess who the anonymous dick haver I personally knew that I was allegedly talking about hosting for bad intentions when I was with someone else because I can’t think of one I was close enough in those time frames to do more than share a bed during a con. I wasn’t fit to host during then anyways, during these times I was in and out of places mostly living in my parent’s house and I have always been resistant to bringing anything from my online life around them because they don’t get it or find it abnormal. Under no circumstance would I bring bringing someone I met online back to the house and spend the first three hours discussing what non-binary is. I deny ill intent on this.



I’m not going to entertain the idea of “love bombing”.



I don’t care to read what Saberthot wrote about me because it isn’t as deep as demanding two pages. They were a mutual of mine, I came on strong at one con where we got a meal together, we sorta talked/followed each other’s privs, they unfollowed when things stagnated, I said something comically goofy that looking back deserved mockery. Weeks pass and I make an effort to keep them as a friend that gets swatted down, they cite how we don’t like how we don’t message often and I explain how I don’t message anyone often, they don’t bite. Ask anyone that was a close mutual, non-love interest, of mine and if they say we dm’d more than once every two weeks or so they’re lying, I have never been a fan of text messaging. FWA comes by and they’re surprised I don’t have much to say to them, what do you expect we haven’t been mutuals nor interacted with each other‘s tweets in weeks. BLFC comes by and they catch me one time when I was visibly frustrated at not being able to find people I was looking for and not in the mood to be stopped. I have not heard from them since.



Transmasc people aren’t toys to me, something to love one day and shelve the next. I set myself up by always coming in with high energy then realize such a level is hard to sustain. There is nothing wrong with my history of choice of partners and it was used against me in tandem with the allegations to push a chaser narrative. I have no intent to stop pursuing relations with transmasc individuals.



I absolutely loved having people from my past resurface with tales of how they warned me about their abuser I used to be mutuals with and at the time I did nothing about it or claim I dismissed them. It’s not that I didn’t believe them, it's that I'm scrolling Instagram at 2pm and I get a message from someone I tentatively know about another person I tentatively know. Now I’m holding a blobfish as I’m scrolling fursuit crushes because someone drew me art and I shared it. I didn’t know what to make of it then, it wasn’t until other accounts came out seemingly at the same time later that things added up. Are we expected to skip over other channels of processing and act on the first thing we hear about somebody? Why is there this much pressure to believe victims when they first come out or you’re an enabler or you contribute to rape culture? I’m not saying that they aren’t to be believed but you can’t expect me to always make a decision on new information presented to me on the spot. I’ll put a pin in it and I’ll digest it on my own. This is part of a larger issue where people with larger followings are expected to exercise judgment on strangers because of another stranger's word. I cannot tell you the number of times someone has DM’d me asking to retweet or make a post on whoever because of the sizable following I had.



I have no desire to make further changes to my life as I feel I’ve done enough already. I’ve been in and out of facilities since high school and I’m presently being made to answer to things from when I was a young adult or when I was 21 and 22; back when I didn’t know how to love and wasn’t ready for a relationship, when I wanted to be the young and reckless savage free agent that put the non-committal in non-committal relations, and recently when I spent a year building myself up for someone that doesn’t know how to express discomfort in a timely manner. Too often do we tell people with serious problems to just get therapy as if going for a couple of sessions will do anything for anyone. Doctors and psychiatrists cannot be pictured as always helpful and unbiased community workers, because the system has failed so many people. My own ex shared horror stories of how his specialists didn’t read the room when mentioning jarring parts of his life yet his reaction to being fed up was still to go to a therapist, incredible. It is a lot of responsibility to care for someone in a really hard place and holding a degree in psychology doesn’t always mean you’ll get better advice than from the transient holding a “spread love” sign at an intersection.



If you want to see me go back so badly then pay for my sessions because I do not have another cent for this.



Why did I tweet that thing in the first place? I was so frustrated with everything at the time, COVID - related furlough from work, irregular stimulus assistance, expensive car repairs, some family trouble I can’t remember, Soren growing colder and colder to me, etc. It was as if I was being blindsided by all aspects of life at once. If nothing else that tweet was a lapse of judgement that was a wicked way of me crying for a hug or some help. And now the last bit of pleasure I had in my life is gone.



My online life has been derailed by people with critically bad memories, those that paint half the picture, and others that want me to answer to things 3+ years ago. Others that checked out a year ago and only came around again when they saw I was tweeting in an upset fit are not going to give me life advice.



I do not want to hear about how those involved came forward wanting to see me change for the better, they have been around long enough to know the lasting effects from accusations like these on someone’s reputation. This destroyed me. People were writing me off before I got a word out. No matter what steps I take or what avenue I turn the first things people will think of me from now on are chaser and abuser and people will be hesitant to be around me because I’m being held to the image of when I was 19-22, especially when it all revolves around fraudulent claims of assault. No one wants to hang around someone even alleged of doing what I didn’t. There was never going to be a truly positive outcome because posts like “personal experiences” and their subsequent community reaction of pressuring and hounding to get a word out and being run out of town have never worked in the history of furry nor the Internet.



Even if I hadn’t made those tweets when I saw red it didn’t matter what I’d say back, an overwhelming number of people already made up their minds before I got a word out. I was dead before I knew it.



“This post of allegations is gonna go out and it doesn’t matter if we verify it first or if or what you say in your defense, we are taking this personally because of how it’s presented. As strangers we’ll make ourselves the judges in these personal situations and at every turn we will warn people about you tell them to unfollow, decimating your friend group and fandom resources and at the end of the day tell you to figure it out on your own and still not admit you to our spaces when you do.” There has got to be another way.



What even happens after that, when you’re depleted of resources and have no one to turn to because everyone’s in a fit of rage when your name gets brought up or blocks off communications with you. Get it out the mud as if you know where to start from and then what? Come tail between my legs with report cards from my therapist to give to people affected? Only to still get looked at like a pariah a decade later? What happens after you get harassed offline, then what? Now there’s another troubled person with no way to get a hold of them. What good does that do? Does that resemble justice at all?



I have no intent to leave this fandom but with how I fumbled these revelations this is all too little too late and it is likely in my best interest that I unceremoniously retire Nas. Even when exonerated of the most heinous crime alleged, with how this and other online communities accept allegations as fact it would follow that identity forever and there is no escaping allowed to move forward from it and constantly made to answer to past conflicts if I decided to keep him as my persona. I am sad I can no longer use him but fittingly this is how he had to go out for he was like Melville’s Ahab and ended up being taken down tied to my obsession for greed and instant gratification.



I do not believe I was ever going to get a fair shake honestly, in the days leading up to it a certain subset of my mutuals began unfollowing and soft blocking seemingly out of nowhere, unbeknownst to me that something major was circulating in private circles. When I was confronted by the other members of the con board I was part of they had already made their decision on my future before it was brought to my attention. In hindsight I should have asked what explicitly was being alleged before responding but then again I would have never imagined I’d be accused of assaulting someone. It wasn’t Colby’s responsibility to inform me that he and several others were coming out with a post about me, however it was unfair to me that I had no real time to prepare for such news and was effectively made the last person to know how he felt or that I found out at the same time thousands of onlookers that, of course, saw a huge wall of text and accepted it as fact.



A majority of the accounts stem from breakdowns in communication, some of which may or may not have been worthy of print or were better discussed behind closed doors, and ultimately it was at the expense of my reputation.



I let down a lot of people that believed in me, Idk man I liked having a big account but after I took my foot off the gas with being loud about what twitter led me to believe was activism and being a goofy furry it felt uncomfortable having people come up saying they looked up to me. Admiration was cool but most days I’d fall back on past banger tweets and just wanna go about my day scrolling twitter. I couldn’t hold up to the standards people online wanted from me when I was still developing on my own dealing with personal battles I dare not mention to the whole internet (too late for that I guess). I was not fine bro I ran a funny furry twitter account. Some days I’d be hiding in plain sight tweeting things that would normally raise eyebrows from concerned mutuals but would instead go relatively viral. I was entrusted by a lot of this communities members why, because I made some funny videos, had a black-coded fursona, and was off and on with tweeting about standing up against nazi furries? I think part of it was because during the time I rose to prominence the bar for what new furries looked for in inspiration was in Hell. I know this will change because the future is bright for furries of color.



I want change in how we go about handling personal matters, how you handle those you suspect are mentally unwell, and not treating alleged crimes like fact as so many did before I could react properly. I want this not for myself but the next allegations haver down the line. I don’t mean swarming and harassing until someone gets pressured offline or pushed out of communities, this helps no one. Real change in protocol, real discussions and open dialogue when feelings change, not closed doors discussions and making decisions on people’s character before they get a word out when confronted and blindsiding allegations to the public that only create volatility and permanently damaged reputations.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-0jhkdSlx0bk9laq1d0bTZkRdOL6TVF4SR3ebSNsYcc/mobilebasic
Holy fuck someone break down this autism in 5 sentences or less
 

Grapefruct

kiwifarms.net
I think I can sum it up in 5 words or less. In the vernacular of our age:
"I din du nuthin, fam"
Basically

"I dindu nuffin.

It wasn't rape even if I did do it

They were basically abusing me and wanted it anyways

I don't have money for a therapist

It's not my fault

Going to stay in the fandom but going to make a new fursona to erase this (lol)

I could tell something was going to happen btw they were all lying

It's fine i didn't like being popular anyways / I'll get popular again""
 

Bungus Scrungus

kiwifarms.net
That GutterPuppy person who drew that art is actually nuanced and not what you would expect. Legit, they hate on the right, but they also literally said second wave feminism should have stopped, that people are too harsh on Lovecraft, and that leftist purity tests are a load of garbage. They're not just a fence sitter, it's clear they're on the left, but they hate the holier than thou people on their side of the fence. Just thought it would be interesting to tell you guys about cause I bet a good chunk of the people who followed them after they posted that image immediately bailed when they saw they weren't a 1 note thing that agreed with all the typical woke stuff. This is all within the past few days, so I have an excuse to be lazy and not post any screencaps. Also retweeted the HDOOM guy, so that's probably another thing people would have bailed on them for.
 

Corn Flakes

No frosting, all flavor.
kiwifarms.net

Lou’s Biggest Fan

>Does fapping count as an emotional response?
kiwifarms.net