Games Journalism General -

Judge Dredd

10 Gaschamber 20 GOTO 10
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Special thanks to @Jaimas and @neural for help with this post.


Game journalists have a simple, cushy job. Play games and have opinions about them. Yet they keep fucking it up.

While most journalists aren't worth their own thread, there's plenty of laughs to be had collectively. This usually (but not always) comes in one of 2 forms. Their utter lack of competence in their chosen field, or their inability to keep personal politics out of their work, sometimes both at once.

To list every journalists and every fuck up would result in a OP longer than The Bible. This kind of nonsense has been going on for almost a decade, longer if we include the previous generation of game journalists. Add in the current fast turn over of the games press and this OP will often be out of date. So this OP will focus on some of the highlights.


POLYGON
"I'm standing at a safe distance, drinking fizzy water, eating puff pastry canapes and chatting to another colleague about politics in the Philippines. I'm having an okay time." -A Polygon writer at a preview for a Rock Band game.
Polygon is the ResetEra of games journalism. So utterly devorced from gaming that the site often reads like some half arsed political blog that occasionally mentions games. If it's not far-left politics, then it's clickbait, often both at once.

A Polygon writer getting PTSD flashbacks while playing a VR shooting gallery. This edit shows the difference between a typical YouTuber's reaction to the game, and the supposed "professional games journalist".

Polygon refused to play the new Rock Band game at a swanky preview party in LA because "all games are stupid", resulting in the quote above. The preview is so badly written we arguably end up with more information about the journalists grandmother than we do about the game.

Polygon playing Doom so badly that it was almost like a 1 handed drunk was playing.

A Polygon journalist wrote a review of his own book. (Originally the article was credited to "Polygon staff".)

Polygon wrote a hitpeice on a Twitch streamer when it's clear they never bothered watching any of his videos.

And finally, their review of Sim City which had 4 different scores. First a 9.5 (the score shown on Metacritic to this day), then an 8, then a 4, before finally settling on 6.5. Was this some kind of genuine change of heart, or a cynical attempt to appease advertisers while going along with the backlash happening due to the games always online DRM? Nobody cares as it's dumb however you look at it.


KOTAKU
Click bait personified. Kotaku is ostensibly a Japanese-centric gaming site, but they rarely seem to talk about Japan and when they do they seem to hate Japan, Japanese culture, and Japanese games.
Their articles can barely be called such as they are often pulled from other sites or press releases with 1 or 2 paragraphs of hastily written non-content to justify the plagerism. Not that their original content is much better, with articles so bad that it's easy to confuse the real thing with parody articles.
Like this article where the author has a moral crisis for having said "rape" online.
Which is often confused for this parody article.
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This article shills for Destiny 2 by implying anyone complaining about the game secretly likes it.

An article about Donald Trump's penis

Despite writing generally pro-feminism articles, they seem to like being sexist creeps. Dedicating an entire article to how a PR rep smells.
And another to bragging about having sex on Sonic bed-sheets.
There are many lol worthy Kotaku articles, but there's others sites to get to in this OP so we have to draw the line somewhere.


IGN
"Who cares if Mass Effect 3 had 90% of the game was locked on the disk? That doesn't mean anything." -Colin Moriarty shilling Mass Effect 3
If the other sites mentioned so far will sell out in the name of politics, IGN cares only for ad money, quality of their content be damned. As the saying goes "You can't spell ignorant without IGN".
From criticising Pokemon for having Too Much Water.
To Failing to understand the concept of a football manager game.
And giving some Wii shovelware a better score than a cult classic beat 'em up.
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The bar for quality is set so low that if it was any lower it'd be in the Earths core. But it's not just reviews that IGN fail at. They also had a go at being pundits.
Like complaining that Call of Duty Ghosts doesn't have women in it, and when women are added complaining they can be killed like the men.
But their one of their longer lasting legacies is starting the whole "gamer/nerd entitlement" rhetoric with a cringe inducing video full of jump cuts and censored swearing, saying that you're entitled if you don't like Mass Effect 3s ending.

I think it's worth adding that Colin Moriarty (the man in the video) was ultimately fired for making a "sexist" joke on Twitter, and now spends his time making anti-game journalism rants on YouTube. More on that later.

GIANT BOMB
"I literally have to look up her skirt to finish the game." -Abby the diversity hire lying during Game of the Year
Back in 2007, Jeff Gerstmann was fired from GameSpot after a string of negative reviews. The straw that broke the camels back was when he gave Kane and Lynch Dead Men a 6/10 review, the game was heavily advertised on the site at the time. Some of the staff quit in the face of obvious corruption and formed Giant Bomb. The site went from strength to strength. Lots of quality content came out from those early years, and their lets play of Persona 4 was arguably responsible for making Persona popular in the west.

The site went down hill after Patrick Klepeck joined, co-founder Ryan Davis died, and the site was sold to the owners of GameSpot. The people who once refused to sell out now fancy themselves as gatekeepers, parroting whatever political bullshit their peers demand.

They refused to post a video they recorded about A Hat In Time after they heard JonTron was in it.
They also memory holed Kingdom Come Deliverance. Claiming the game wasn't "interesting enough".

At around 48 minutes during the Game of the Year deliberations (the same one the quote above is pulled from), Abby says that Dream Daddy does things that other dating sims don't, then admits to have never played another dating sim.

These days the site is depressing. The group of once fun loving guys is now a shadow of it's former self. Old, grey, grumpy men complaining about how games aren't woke enough. This quote from NeoGaf says it.
"I used to have some respect for Giant Bomb and Jeff Gerstmann - however that has long since dissipated. He has become everything that he created Giant Bomb to fight against. Dude has gone full SJW mode. Pathetic."


INDIVIDUALS
Not all journalists are tied to specific sites. Some game journalists are "freelance", selling articles to other sites or running their own Patreon supported websites, YouTube channels, and blogs. Other bounce from site to site, getting fired from one only to immediately get a job at a supposedly rival site. eg. Patrick Klepeck has worked for Giant Bomb, Kotaku, 1Up, EGM, and Vice/Waypoint. So it's sometimes it's easier to follow individual journalists than trying to keep track of who works for where and when. Many of these types of journalists/pundits have their own threads already.


LEIGH ALEXANDER
"I AM games journalism!"
Leigh is by far one of the most corrupt game journalists there is, with 23 journalist ethics violations according to DeepFreeze. Her self defined ethics policy is "Get money, fight bullshit, and make sure that those I love stand the longest.". So we can safely take her word that she is the living embodiment of games journalism.

She is also notorious for her drinking. One of her more infamous exploits was when she went on the Giant Bomb E3 livestream when she was fall down drunk. Ranting incoherently, she claimed that the LA convention centre cost 775 million dollars to rent for the weekend before accidentally showing her tits on stream.
She was invited back next year to make amends where she arrived drunk again.
Leigh worked at various sites burning bridges as she went. Eventually she was too toxic to be employed at any of the major sites, so she made Offworld. This was going to be her own gaming website with blackjack and hookers and no readers. The site shut down soon after. So much for "Gamers don't have to be your audience.". Leigh disappeared after that, resurfacing briefly to shit on Total Biscuit's corpse before disappearing, presumably into a bottle of booze.


JED WHITAKER
"That gave me the brilliant idea that I'd try to play said mini-game by putting a Joy-Con up my ass." -Professional game journalist Jed Whitaker
The less said about Jed Whitaker the better. He defines the term "degenerate". While most game journos inspire laughter, contempt, or pity, Jed inspires revulsion and disgust. If you need one example of why game journalism is not respected, Jed is your man.

He is most famous for an article in which he complained that the signal on the Nintendo Switch joy cons was not strong enough for him to play games with the controller shoved up his own arse. Publishing a detailed breakdown of his methods and results.
Because of this, he's often confused with ANOTHER journalist that reviewed Amiibos based on how well they worked as butt plugs.

Then there's his video of Plants vs Zombies which some claim he tried to have pulled from YouTube or excuse as a parody. It's a video that's so bad it's difficult to watch. Feel free to post a timestamp of how far you got.


COLIN MORIARTY
"I'm not saying you can't disagree, I'm saying there's a proper way to disagree."
Colin Moriarty was a game journalist for IGN. His biggest claim to fame was a video in which he says anyone who didn't like Mass Effect 3 and wanted the ending changed was entitled. Starting a years long trend of game journalists insulting their readers.
He eventually got fired for making a "sexist" joke on Twitter
and since then has existed on YouTube complaining about game journalists. Would he be so anti-game journalist if he wasn't kicked out of the game journalism clique? That's for you to decide.

MAINSTREAM AUTISM
Sometimes, game journalists are so bad at their job the backlash isn't limited to a few nerds reading articles about games all day, but breaks out into mainstream gaming and beyond. Spawning their own memes and becoming shorthand for the state of gaming journalism.

Such as this infamous video of a game journalist trying to play Cuphead and being unable to beat the tutorial. Watch carefully and you can even spot the moment the game developer leans over and tells him what to do.
My favourite edit is this side by side comparison.
And remember, these people play games for a living.

Then of course there's the big one. Gamergate. We're all tired of hearing it, but it's still brought up as a spectre that haunts game journalists and is the single cause of all their failures since 2014.
You could write a book on this one topic alone, but it's origins were surprising simple. Zoe Quinn had sex with games journalist Nathan Greyson, who had written positive articles about her at the time of their affair. When this was made public, there was a huge cover up the likes of which the internet had never seen before. Everywhere from 4chan to Reddit banned all discussion of it. A web host pulled down a site that refused to retract the story. Anyone who the journalists couldn't shut up was branded a misogynist. Eventually it was revealed that game journalists were all colluding with each other. Sex for favours, rigged award shows, industry blacklists, you name it. This was pretty much confirmed when game journalists decided the best way to prove there was no collusion was for supposedly rival sites to all post an article with the same message on the same day.
While most GamerGaters have moved on since then, anti-GamerGaters, particularly the games press and left leaning lolcows, never let it go. Blaming it for everything from trolls to Donald Trump.
If you don't believe me, do a search here on Kiwi farms for gamergate, and sort the results by date. You'll probably find at least one mention of it in the past week. You can read more about gamergate here.


ANTI GAMES JOURNALISM
In the wake of gamergate and Total Biscuit dying of cancer, people were looking for alternative voices. Anti-games journalism is the cottage industry of sites and YouTubers who's editorial voice is mostly shitting on what's left of "mainstream" game journalism. Niche Gamer, One Angry Gamer, Colin Moriarty and others are not as bad as often, but they do occasionally almost end up as lolcows themselves. Repeating the same shit over and over and over again.


THE FUTURE
Games journalism continues to circle the drain. Their increasing desperation for clicks, relevance, and Twitter impressions means that they will likely keep selling their dignity for another pay-cheque or 15 second of Twitter fame. As a result, this OP will likely have to be updated as more of these people fall into obscurity and sites shut down.


THE REST
There's so much good stuff out there. Here's some of those that I think are funny enough to be worth mentioning.
Vice/Waypoint's Forza preview not talking about the game, and instead is a screed against so Austrialian politician.

VG 24/7 writes a hit peice about Valkyria Chronicles 4 (thanks to @Oh Shit I'm Sorry for this)

Motherboard/Vice complaining about gamer girl porn.

Distructiod claiming that The Legend of Zelda: Ocerina of Time is a gay coming of age story.

Danny O'Dwyer saying that "anime arse" causes real world rapes.

Patrick Klepek covers his eyes because there's a woman in a bikini on screen.

Vice/Waypoint complaining that Resident Evil 2 Remake doesn't have enough verbs(?), doesn't let you play with food, and doesn't let you show off a gay haircut.

Murder is illegal in RL, it should be illegal in VR (thanks to @Henk Hill for this one)
 

Jaimas

Autism War Correspondent
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
It's worth noting that most, if not all of these websites are now in a protracted death phase. Simply put, the Venture Capitalists stupid enough to spew money into their coffers thinking they were a sure thing have found that their investment is now worth diddlysquat. Kotaku is being sold as we speak. Giantbomb is doing terribly and Polygon's been edging the cliff for quite a while now. Waypoint is likewise on its way out.

Just watch and enjoy, as they proceed to enter a hell as vast as our collective bonergrins.
 
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purpleboy

Exceptional the Individualhog
kiwifarms.net
OAG, NicheGamer, Bounding Into Comics, Sankaku Conplex, etc are also bad but the reason why they get mentioned way less often is, to put it simply, nobody cares about them.

Let’s be fucking honest here, outside of Gaming Twitter, GamerGhazi/KIA, /v/, and the fanbases of guys like Quartering and Jim Sterling, who the fuck actually knows who Bill Usher or Brandon Orselli are?

They’re semi-popular amongst niche gaming communities who either love or loathe them, but that’s about it really. Your average normie who mainly plays shit like COD and AssCreed has likely never heard of them.
 
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REGENDarySumanai

Man of excellent taste
kiwifarms.net
What, no Ben Kuchera? The guy who blocked someone over the fact that they told him that insulting their audience would only lead to less traffic and would only make them end in failure, and him being generally corrupt as fuck.
 
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Eryngium

kiwifarms.net
Michael Fahey: A "senior" writer for Kotaku is infamous for looking for games with sexual content and them playing them deliberately to look for something to be outraged about, so he can make an article demanding censorship.

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He got in hot water recently for making an article reeing about a minor being sexualized in a weeb game despite the minor fact that he has a literal loli succubus tattoo on his body. :story:

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archive of the twitter exchange:
 
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Cubanodun

Stylish Shitposter
kiwifarms.net
Niche Gamer
I follow Brandon because almost all the cabal has a huge hate boner for him, he is also pretty shill on twitter so i let him pass

Distructiod claiming that The Legend of Zelda: Ocerina of Time is a gay coming of age story.
I remember that one, it was so awful that the backpedaling that came after that was terrible

Still is there a need for Game journalist now? i mean almost all the companies just announce themselves their products on streams, Nintendo has Direct, Sony has state of play, i dont know what thing Xbox has

Michael Fahey: A writer for Kotaku is infamous for looking for games with sexual content and them playing them deliberately to look for something to be outraged about, so he can make an article demanding censorship.
People were asking if he was going to destroy his Switch because Nintendo now allow anime titties

I pretty much dont follow normal game journalism i normally go direct to the source because having to read "this game is so cool but also racist" grind my gears

Also you can get faster information if you usetags in twitter like #IndieDev
 

Zeke Von Genbu

BRINGER OF CHAOS
kiwifarms.net
Michael Fahey: A writer for Kotaku is infamous for looking for games with sexual content and them playing them deliberately to look for something to be outraged about, so he can make an article demanding censorship.


He got in hot water recently for making an article reeing about a minor being sexualized in a weeb game despite the minor fact that he has a literal loli succubus tattoo on his body. :story:

archive of the twitter exchange:
I looked at the Etna tattoo conversation and found whatever this weird doll he owns within 2 minutes, what is wrong with this man?

 

purpleboy

Exceptional the Individualhog
kiwifarms.net
I follow Brandon because almost all the cabal has a huge hate boner for him, he is also pretty shill on twitter so i let him pass
To his credit, he and Sophia Narwitz know how to reel themselves in and look professional, unlike that turbosperg Billy Usher of OAG who regularly spills his spaghetti in editorials, gets into TonkaSaw-esque Twitter arguments with people people over petty bullshit, and regularly tells us about his porn habits in TRUE AND HONEST detail.
 

Clop

kiwifarms.net
The fucking nerve of a lot of the soyboy and harpy journalists always doing the hypersexual content while bitching about da tiddies in pop culture, it always gets to me in a bad way. Somehow being "sex positive" and appreciating the exaggerated female figure at the same time without hemorrhaging is impossible for these people. Can anyone even name one that doesn't sperg about "muh unrealistic female representation" during their "career?"

https://www.polygon.com/2014/10/13/6957677/bayonetta-2-review-wii-u
I won't guess why the blatant over-sexualization is still there, often more intensely than before. But it causes an otherwise great game to require a much bigger mental compromise to enjoy.
There's no need to guess, the fucking character is written as sexually flamboyant and exhibitionist (and there are MANY male characters doing the exact same thing), you can't have your sex positive cake and eat it too. Fuck these people.
 

SiccDicc

Ratatatatatatatatatat!
kiwifarms.net
The fucking nerve of a lot of the soyboy and harpy journalists always doing the hypersexual content while bitching about da tiddies in pop culture, it always gets to me in a bad way. Somehow being "sex positive" and appreciating the exaggerated female figure at the same time without hemorrhaging is impossible for these people. Can anyone even name one that doesn't sperg about "muh unrealistic female representation" during their "career?"

https://www.polygon.com/2014/10/13/6957677/bayonetta-2-review-wii-u

There's no need to guess, the fucking character is written as sexually flamboyant and exhibitionist (and there are MANY male characters doing the exact same thing), you can't have your sex positive cake and eat it too. Fuck these people.
Bayonetta was designed by a woman, too. I guess since she's Japanese she's just internalizing her misogyny.
 

Clop

kiwifarms.net
Bayonetta was designed by a woman, too. I guess since she's Japanese she's just internalizing her misogyny.
Yeah I'm aware of that, everyone likes to point it out every time, but I think it's a bad argument to have. The creator's gender shouldn't matter when creating a character they want. Just because the leftards keep going towards racial and sex segregation doesn't mean everyone else has to stoop to their level and argue with what color or gender someone has to be to qualify to create.

It's more of an ace in the hole for when someone is dumb enough to claim that Bayonetta was a product of a man's fantasy. Then it deals critical damage to their stupid ass.
 

Jaimas

Autism War Correspondent
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I'm glad that people have finally realized that mainstream game journalism has always been a joke. Took them a couple of decades but better late than never.
The stupid thing is that we've known this since forever ago.

A series of studies done fucking years ago revealed that at best, something like 2% of people base their purchases on what gaming sites say. These sites have been in deep shit for ages and have literally never been successful, but it takes half a fucking billion dollars before the suits notice.
 
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Watcher

Cishet dudebro
kiwifarms.net
Game journalists have a simple, cushy job. Play games and have opinions about them. Yet they keep fucking it up.
Game Journalism is actually a bottom-tier journalism job. It's considered akin to working at a fast food job to any actual journalist. Most video game journalists didn't actually want to write for video games, they wanted to work as actual reporters or journalists but couldn't find work doing that. This is why they insert leftist politics into articles, and why they tend to suck at playing the games.

Game journalism is also a soul crushing job that is genuinely tedious to do, it's why a lot of people burn out on it after a few years. You have to play almost every game in existence that gets released and write some new and original statement about it. You have almost zero job security. And you can get laid off almost out of nowhere. They could also find ANYONE else to do your job. So you have to play politics to avoid getting laid off. It's really unsurprising to me that you can find video game journalists that just plagiarize youtube reviews to get articles out quicker.

I genuinely feel bad for video game journalists because you have to keep consuming derivative shitty titles that get released every year and write articles about them while hoping you could find an actual job in actual journalism instead which is more exciting. It's like being a guy who reviews action figures. You might be initially excited to do it but eventually you keep looking for something more substantive to do with your time. It's unsurprising they keep shoehorning in political statements into their articles hoping they'll get noticed at the Huffington Post or Buzzfeed.
 
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