Culture Gen Zers are putting Bitmojis on their Instagram-esque résumés -


True & Honest Fan

In the past few decades so much has changed. Technology has gotten smaller, sleeker, and generally more efficient. There’s an app for everything, from giving you real-time directions to your favorite restaurant to helping you hook up with the hottie at your local Trader Joes. Reports also keep warning us that robots are going to take all of our jobs soon.

Yet, the way we go about landing a job hasn’t changed much. Résumés–in all their boring, formulaic glory–haven’t evolved. Until now, that is.

A new Wall Street Journal report says Gen Z’ers–known as a very progressive, tech-savvy generation–are trying to push for a résumé-evolution by making them more visually appealing and exciting. The report says Gen Zers’ résumés are starting to look reminiscent of Instagram and even Tinder. While some may argue that it’s about time we mix up résumés, the bad news is that the cool résumés just aren’t landing Gen Zers any jobs.

According to the report, one employer received a digital résumé with a sweating Bitmoji on it to show that the applicant was willing to hustle, yet, he didn’t get the job.

Another applicant sent a digital résumé that included a waving Bitmoji on it (to say hello, of course) to an Indiana high school, but that applicant also didn’t land the job.

“There’s a freaking Bitmoji on the résumé,” one school official told the WSJ.

The WSJ also gave other examples of the résumés, which included everything from colorful backgrounds and spiral bounding to elaborate illustrations and pictures of the applicant. One job seeker included a black-and-white photo of herself in a cafe overlaid with personal details, including, “spin aficionado, dog lover, foodie, outdoor enthusiast.” (That applicant–you guessed it–also wasn’t hired.)
While the résumés may be eye-catching, those in positions to hire–most likely Gen-Xers–are refusing to take them seriously.
“I file all the resumes that contain Bitmojis in the same location,” one Twitter user responded, along with a picture of a trash can.

Shaved Kiwis

Mimetic Polyalloy
Back in my day we made our own emojis out of ASCII art. Everything is premade now. Creativity is dead. An :eggplant: is a poor substitute for a 8===o. I can even customize it however I want. I can make it longer or add some jizz trails with the click of a button. Can your precious bitmoji do that? I feel sorry for these kids. While we are at it; how many eggplant emojis would it take to render this masterpiece?

8===o ~~~~~ ( )*( )

When the hiring manager sees something like this he will be sure to hire me over all the incompetent dolts who can't even be arsed to customize their own smileys. <}=/>>> their souless, corporate, jaundiced, yellow faces will never convey the depth of emotion shown by the monochromatic melancholy ASCII sombrero man with the long beard that I just posted. That's why the dopey fuckers can't get a job.


True & Honest Fan
This isn't real.

Tell me you made this up...

his site:


his site:
Good God.
We're doomed, I tell you. Doomed.

About Us

The Kiwi Farms is about eccentric individuals and communities on the Internet. We call them lolcows because they can be milked for amusement or laughs. Our community is bizarrely diverse and spectators are encouraged to join the discussion.

We do not place intrusive ads, host malware, sell data, or run crypto miners with your browser. If you experience these things, you have a virus. If your malware system says otherwise, it is faulty.

Supporting the Forum

How to Help

The Kiwi Farms is constantly attacked by insane people and very expensive to run. It would not be here without community support.

BTC: 1DgS5RfHw7xA82Yxa5BtgZL65ngwSk6bmm
ETH: 0xc1071c60Ae27C8CC3c834E11289205f8F9C78CA5
BAT: 0xc1071c60Ae27C8CC3c834E11289205f8F9C78CA5
XMR: 438fUMciiahbYemDyww6afT1atgqK3tSTX25SEmYknpmenTR6wvXDMeco1ThX2E8gBQgm9eKd1KAtEQvKzNMFrmjJJpiino