In the spirit of @Jaimas' own reviews of piss poor games, I've decided, since I got it really damn cheap in a Fanatical bundle with over 50 games, to spork this piece of shit.
https://store.steampowered.com/app/545250/Bloody_Boobs/
(need an account to view, marked adults only even though it's not really adult, just on the sunny side of cable TV watered down R Rated movie edgy)
This is not going to be a long review, since it's a pretty short game, it's mostly going to cover why it sucks so much so even if you are considering getting it as a joke, this is why you shouldn't bother with this cheap piece of Unity engine made schlock.
First, the basic story premise goes like this: You are Random Unfortunate Woman Who Looks Like a Prostitute, and you have to escape a dark as hell dungeon where demons are trying to kill you by praying in front of four altars so a portal will open up getting you out of there.
Seriously, that's all the story, and given it's a short game, its servicable if a bit silly.
The gameplay involves running around a semi-random generated dungeon made with a bunch of cookie cutter asset flipped Unity Store assets, and given how bland the dungeons and demons look (the demon in the above promo shot who looks like it has Down's looks even worse ingame), it's obvious the effort put into any other than the playable character involved one hand on the programmer's dick the whole time.
Which brings me to your playable character.
Her appearance can vary, but in the single player game she always looks like some twintailed Woman Who Is Asking For It whose ass and tits jiggle no matter what you do. You can customize her appearance in multiplayer mode, but all this means is you can change her tit size, hair color, and outfit so you can have a blonde with volleyball tits in a variety of skimpy, fetishy undergarments including a bondage suit and electrical tape pasties if you wish to run around the poorly lit dungeons.
The actual gameplay is like a really poorly thought out stealth game where you start out with jack squat (you're supposed to be naked according to the developer, but you still inexplicably are wearing slutty underwear at the start), and while you can pick up some minor items to distract the demons and drop a few magic mines to slow them down, you really won't have much you can do or pick up.
The controls are the typical WASD style ones, CTRL to crouch, and the mouse is used to look around, but the camera can be janky and unresponsive at times.
Right clicking on the mouse always lets you flip the bird for some reason, even though it's purpose is basically useless save for screenshots:
Despite this billing itself as a horror game, the horror atmosphere is promptly pissed upon by some annoying ass English voice in the background that sounds like nails on a chalkboard snarkily remarking your situation sucks but it could be worse and mostly just being annoying, obliterating any attempt at making this game remotely scary.
It comes with a film grain option to give it that ye old cheesy B Movie feel, but I turned it off, it just make things even harder to see, as even max brightness is still really damn dark.
The gameplay is loaded with all sorts of silly shit, as the demons are either these little midgets who will lose you if you run barely fifteen feet from them or taller ones like the aspie faced one in the first screenshot who are so fucking stupid they will stop just in front of you and swing at mid air, making it impossible for them to hurt you unless you are stupid enough to walk into their attack, which is animated like a cheap puppet.
Speaking of cheap animation, outside of the jiggle physics, your playable character runs like she has a dildo rammed up her ass and pivots in a manner that will give classic Resident Evil players used to the tank controls they had bad flashbacks.
You can take a few hits before dying and respawning, and each hit makes a comically fake amount of blood appear on your body in an animation so poor it looks photoshopped atop your body.
The actual game itself can be beaten in under fifteen minutes if you played it a few times, it's not half as random as it seems, and that's assuming it doesn't crash on you, apparently it's performance is completely variable from user to user. I got it running fairly well, but I still had to put up with the camera controls crapping out on occasion, making me one of the luckier people, as sometimes it just flat refuses to load or CTDs for no real reason for others.
Multiplayer is dull as fuck but an arguable improvement on the single player, as one player is the demon, the other girl in her underpants trying to evade them, meaning the shitty stock game AI is nowhere to be found, but the bland dungeons are still the same copypasted crap arranged in a semi-random mix each time.
Overall, this is honestly a piece a shit I would not pay for in and of itself, even though it was going for as cheap as 50 cents on Steam, I myself got in a bundle with 50 other games for around 2 dollars, and if you're going to suffer through this for the hell of it, it's so shit even getting it like I did might feel like a ripoff.
Also, let me be clear on one thing before I end this review: If you are expecting actual bobs and vegene, visit PornHub, this game is the last thing the most desperate person on Earth should ever consider arousing or even fun.
P.S. - Apparently, the same Russian guy who made this is making another game called "Boobs Saga" that promises to have a lot more content, including actual bobs and vegene, furries, dickgirls, badly animated sex scenes, and humor so lowbrow even South Park looks tasteful even at it's worst.
Hasn't come out yet, but given how shit this is, I honestly wouldn't pay this guy a cent. Hell, even the most amoral game pirates would have far better things to waste their time on.
https://store.steampowered.com/app/545250/Bloody_Boobs/
(need an account to view, marked adults only even though it's not really adult, just on the sunny side of cable TV watered down R Rated movie edgy)
This is not going to be a long review, since it's a pretty short game, it's mostly going to cover why it sucks so much so even if you are considering getting it as a joke, this is why you shouldn't bother with this cheap piece of Unity engine made schlock.
First, the basic story premise goes like this: You are Random Unfortunate Woman Who Looks Like a Prostitute, and you have to escape a dark as hell dungeon where demons are trying to kill you by praying in front of four altars so a portal will open up getting you out of there.
Seriously, that's all the story, and given it's a short game, its servicable if a bit silly.
The gameplay involves running around a semi-random generated dungeon made with a bunch of cookie cutter asset flipped Unity Store assets, and given how bland the dungeons and demons look (the demon in the above promo shot who looks like it has Down's looks even worse ingame), it's obvious the effort put into any other than the playable character involved one hand on the programmer's dick the whole time.
Which brings me to your playable character.
Her appearance can vary, but in the single player game she always looks like some twintailed Woman Who Is Asking For It whose ass and tits jiggle no matter what you do. You can customize her appearance in multiplayer mode, but all this means is you can change her tit size, hair color, and outfit so you can have a blonde with volleyball tits in a variety of skimpy, fetishy undergarments including a bondage suit and electrical tape pasties if you wish to run around the poorly lit dungeons.
The actual gameplay is like a really poorly thought out stealth game where you start out with jack squat (you're supposed to be naked according to the developer, but you still inexplicably are wearing slutty underwear at the start), and while you can pick up some minor items to distract the demons and drop a few magic mines to slow them down, you really won't have much you can do or pick up.
The controls are the typical WASD style ones, CTRL to crouch, and the mouse is used to look around, but the camera can be janky and unresponsive at times.
Right clicking on the mouse always lets you flip the bird for some reason, even though it's purpose is basically useless save for screenshots:
Despite this billing itself as a horror game, the horror atmosphere is promptly pissed upon by some annoying ass English voice in the background that sounds like nails on a chalkboard snarkily remarking your situation sucks but it could be worse and mostly just being annoying, obliterating any attempt at making this game remotely scary.
It comes with a film grain option to give it that ye old cheesy B Movie feel, but I turned it off, it just make things even harder to see, as even max brightness is still really damn dark.
The gameplay is loaded with all sorts of silly shit, as the demons are either these little midgets who will lose you if you run barely fifteen feet from them or taller ones like the aspie faced one in the first screenshot who are so fucking stupid they will stop just in front of you and swing at mid air, making it impossible for them to hurt you unless you are stupid enough to walk into their attack, which is animated like a cheap puppet.
Speaking of cheap animation, outside of the jiggle physics, your playable character runs like she has a dildo rammed up her ass and pivots in a manner that will give classic Resident Evil players used to the tank controls they had bad flashbacks.
You can take a few hits before dying and respawning, and each hit makes a comically fake amount of blood appear on your body in an animation so poor it looks photoshopped atop your body.
The actual game itself can be beaten in under fifteen minutes if you played it a few times, it's not half as random as it seems, and that's assuming it doesn't crash on you, apparently it's performance is completely variable from user to user. I got it running fairly well, but I still had to put up with the camera controls crapping out on occasion, making me one of the luckier people, as sometimes it just flat refuses to load or CTDs for no real reason for others.
Multiplayer is dull as fuck but an arguable improvement on the single player, as one player is the demon, the other girl in her underpants trying to evade them, meaning the shitty stock game AI is nowhere to be found, but the bland dungeons are still the same copypasted crap arranged in a semi-random mix each time.
Overall, this is honestly a piece a shit I would not pay for in and of itself, even though it was going for as cheap as 50 cents on Steam, I myself got in a bundle with 50 other games for around 2 dollars, and if you're going to suffer through this for the hell of it, it's so shit even getting it like I did might feel like a ripoff.
Also, let me be clear on one thing before I end this review: If you are expecting actual bobs and vegene, visit PornHub, this game is the last thing the most desperate person on Earth should ever consider arousing or even fun.
P.S. - Apparently, the same Russian guy who made this is making another game called "Boobs Saga" that promises to have a lot more content, including actual bobs and vegene, furries, dickgirls, badly animated sex scenes, and humor so lowbrow even South Park looks tasteful even at it's worst.
Hasn't come out yet, but given how shit this is, I honestly wouldn't pay this guy a cent. Hell, even the most amoral game pirates would have far better things to waste their time on.
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