Gloria Tesch article -

Peace and Harmony

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So a couple of Kiwis recently (past few months...) unearthed some pretty interesting info about Gloria and her warped personal history. What do people think? Dumb or worthwhile?
 
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Hellblazer

Everything has its time and everything dies.
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kiwifarms.net
It's worthwhile. Especially with the combination of her dad's shenanigans and the recent revelation that she's been uploading pics of models and pretending that they are of her. It's nice to have somewhere to point people who are curious about the bigger events like that.
 

Peace and Harmony

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It's worthwhile. Especially with the combination of her dad's shenanigans and the recent revelation that she's been uploading pics of models and pretending that they are of her. It's nice to have somewhere to point people who are curious about the bigger events like that.
Aww shiieet, approval from the man himself.

So I dunno if @Robert Sockwel is still around and has an axe to grind but I'm gonna use his stuff (on page 100; for my own reference). I would LOVE for @IJustWantToSeeAttachments to be involved because she's suffered through Maradonia and it would be great to have a major section on it, and also @melty for the more recent Instagram stuff.

Yeah so bottom line is that if anyone has info or stuff from the topic that they think is pertinent, please dump here. Optimistically I'll try and get something going this week. And if you'd like to help write, that would be awesome too.
 

melty

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I screencapped up the most damning instagram fakeries in case she deletes. There are a few more, but I dunno if they are notable. Like, there's one of a girl wearing knit socks and holding a cup of tea. It's just described as "Goodnight #tea". Knowing her I know she intends for people to think it's her, but in and of itself it's not really damning because people sometimes reblog stuff like that.
If anyone could back up her full instagram that would be cool... I don't know how to do that and just screencapped the most relevant stuff.
 

I Just Want to See Attachments

I've seen alot.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I would LOVE for @IJustWantToSeeAttachments to be involved because she's suffered through Maradonia and it would be great to have a major section on it
I've only been suffering through the first one, though. There's at least five more books, but I kind of really want to read them anyway. Besides, I know a thing or two about writing. I'd love to write a section critiquing Glo-glo's writing "style".

(I'm also posting this in-between editing audiobook chapters, go figure)
 
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Peace and Harmony

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https://lolcow.wiki/wiki/User:Peace_and_Harmony

Okay good people, I made a very brief start to the article on my user page and also a proposed outline. Let me know what you guys think, and if anyone wants to help with a specific section or just overall, please let me know!!! I'm going to start writing up stuff based on what I remember from the thread but again, if people want to dump links into this thread, I would greatly appreciate that as well.

@IJustWantToSeeAttachments I'm counting on you for info on Maradonia. Don't fail me.
 

melty

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I dunno if mermaids needs its own section, it's probably enough to mention she's obsessed with them and pretends it's one of her jobs.
I'm not sure where the stolen instagram stuff should go, but it's definitely notable. @Vicious.ink3 first pointed it out beginning on this page:
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/gloria-tesch.381/page-120

Here are the ones I have so far proven to be stolen, with links to proof (I'm just quoting myself from the thread, so it's long):
Holy shit I think you're right. I dug through her photos and found this one, which looked suspect. It's labelled and tagged as "ootd"
View attachment 49761
Reverse image shows a lot of... not Gloria
http://wheretoget.it/look/1321820
I wonder how many others there are? A lot of the nail and bracelet ones are suspect. But they aren't always implied to be her. However this one totally is.
This fucking girl holy shit :story:
Holy shit I found another one
Gloria being Gloria, implying it's her and thanking everyone for the compliments:

View attachment 49763

The actual model, Brittney Suleimon
https://instagram.com/brittanysuleiman/
Last one prolly
View attachment 49770
You can't see it here but on my phone the comment she replies to thanking is an emoticon of a guy sweating and clapping hands. So why is Gloria thanking him?
Real model:
https://instagram.com/daniellagrace/?hl=en

There are a couple of others, but the captions aren't as damning, though her intent is obvious. Pro tip: if it's a photo of a sexy girl but you can't see the face it's probably not Tesch. The fake photos also look a lot different from quality/exposure/something (don't know shit about photography)

Pic stolen from Gisele Bundchen
View attachment 49779

She has to be pathological. How stupid can you be? Stealing a picture from one of/the top supermodels in the world?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2863926/Supermodel-Gisele-Bundchen-does-best-mermaid-hair-flick-Instagram-snap-plugging-enviable-perfect-life.html

Note a lot of these have simple keywords suggested. This one is found by searching "mermaid hair flip", the hot tub legs one is "hottub legs", etc
Thank you @Vicious.ink3 for pointing out this ridiculous bullshit in the first place :heart-full:
Pic stolen from Gisele Bundchen
View attachment 49779

She has to be pathological. How stupid can you be? Stealing a picture from one of/the top supermodels in the world?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2863926/Supermodel-Gisele-Bundchen-does-best-mermaid-hair-flick-Instagram-snap-plugging-enviable-perfect-life.html

Note a lot of these have simple keywords suggested. This one is found by searching "mermaid hair flip", the hot tub legs one is "hottub legs", etc

Here are new ones I looked up, as well as ones I SUSPECT to be stolen but have little or no proof of yet, in case anyone wants to do some detective work, or recognizes them from somewhere. These are pretty much only photos where you can reasonably imply that she's intended for people to think that she is in them, or took them. e.g. saying "thank you" to people telling her it's a great shot or the girl in the photo has a great body. She also sometimes tells people she works out on the fake photos, she sets locations, and stuff like that. She does post a lot of obvious stock photos with "inspirational" quotes which I guess is common on Instagram? Those are NOT included.

suspect2.png
This one can be found elsewhere here

suspect5.png
Thanking someone for saying "great shot", found here


suspect7.png
Rocky mountain national park found here
The question is, did she even go to Colorado in the first place, and just didn't take her own picture? Or did she post this while she was in Florida or somewhere else?

suspect1.png
Looks fake, labelled "look what I found"

suspect8.png

suspect9.png
This one I cannot find, but I SWEAR I've seen it somewhere else. There's also the fact that 1. The girl in the fanart's hair is a lot longer than Gloria's 2. The back of the dress is not the same and 3. She doesn't even credit the fanartist because it's probably for something completely different.

suspect10.png

suspect13.png

suspect14.png
This one was posted right before a photo of her holding a strawberry daquiri
suspect15.png
So it's most likely intended to look like hers. However the bracelets and nails are completely different. Short search indicates it may have been posted by a Pretty Little Liars star.

suspect16.png
Possibly her but suspect. She takes a different pic later that appears to be from a different location in the same hotel, which is plausible.

suspect18.png
This one is interesting. She tags it #calilife and #bacara, which is a resort in Santa Barbara, CA. HOWEVER it's actually a stock photo from Little Palm Island, in Florida! http://www.littlepalmisland.com/resort-photos.aspx#!prettyPhoto[Around the Resort]/6/
This absolutely lends to the idea that she is lying about all those vacations she claims to take. SO many of the vacation photos are stolen! Why can't she snap a photo of some tree or a fire pit herself? If she was at Bacara wouldn't she know this was not Bacara?
I believe that she is not constantly on trips to Cali, Colorado or wherever else she claims. Almost all photos from these supposed trips are stolen, sometimes not even from the correct place.
I didn't even bother looking up the 10,000 palm trees photos. She promotes this "glamorous rich Florida globetrotting girl" lifestyle on Instagram, but so many of the photos are stolen.

suspect25.png
Nails and tan don't look like her. Nails & jewelry are a giveaway in a lot of photos.


I wonder if she takes photography classes at college, and if she pulls this same shit? She has a lot of photos of herself with that camera but few if any photos she's taken herself are posted.
 

For The Internet

Tits and ALL
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Definitely worth pursuing. Something else to look for in photos she posts are the pool tiles. I always look at the tiles in the pools where they're visible in actual shots of Glo and compare them to the ones that are suspect. The pool tiles in the photos you posted are never the same twice, which lends credence to them being stolen. I believe the pool she swims in in her mermaid videos is the actual pool that was at her house.

I noticed the article needs links to other communities where she's been discussed (mostly Maradonia rather than her). Here are a couple:

http://conjugalfelicity.com/maradonia/
http://impishidea.com/spork/maradonia-and-the-seven-bridges-spork-part-one
 

I Just Want to See Attachments

I've seen alot.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Here you go, @Peace and Harmony :

mQLTF.jpg


The Tesches are photoshopped into this picture.

For one their feet are conveniently cropped out of the photo, which eradicates the issue of "floating", though you can still tell that Gloria's feet are a couple inches off the ground. Also, considering the angle of the Sun, the Tesches should cast some sort of shadow on the ground, but they don't. In addition there's no light hitting the tops of their heads.

Goddamn, just look at the scale, too. These people are midgets if this photo is real (and it's not). Compare this shot from farther away:

car.png


Look at the size of the car compared to its distance from the front door. Now look at the size of the front door in the photo with the family compared to the size of, say, Gloria's mother in foreground. Their height has been reduced in a vain effort to keep them entirely in the shadows in order to eradicate the whole lighting problem. Except it's still just a simple copy/paste job so the highest grade I can give them is a C-.
 

Vicious.ink3

Kisses, bitches
kiwifarms.net
As for places her work was panned: Conjugal Felicity had a field day with Glo's work and of course SwankIvy's critique on youtube is the stuff of legends.

Gloria actually started writing when she was thirteen, and later retconned that info to keep up the "World's Youngest" bullshit and has tried HARD to hide the fact that she's vanity published.
 

Vicious.ink3

Kisses, bitches
kiwifarms.net
I dunno if mermaids needs its own section, it's probably enough to mention she's obsessed with them and pretends it's one of her jobs.
I'm not sure where the stolen instagram stuff should go, but it's definitely notable. @Vicious.ink3 first pointed it out beginning on this page:
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/gloria-tesch.381/page-120

Here are the ones I have so far proven to be stolen, with links to proof (I'm just quoting myself from the thread, so it's long):

Here are new ones I looked up, as well as ones I SUSPECT to be stolen but have little or no proof of yet, in case anyone wants to do some detective work, or recognizes them from somewhere. These are pretty much only photos where you can reasonably imply that she's intended for people to think that she is in them, or took them. e.g. saying "thank you" to people telling her it's a great shot or the girl in the photo has a great body. She also sometimes tells people she works out on the fake photos, she sets locations, and stuff like that. She does post a lot of obvious stock photos with "inspirational" quotes which I guess is common on Instagram? Those are NOT included.

View attachment 50914
This one can be found elsewhere here

View attachment 50916
Thanking someone for saying "great shot", found here


View attachment 50917
Rocky mountain national park found here
The question is, did she even go to Colorado in the first place, and just didn't take her own picture? Or did she post this while she was in Florida or somewhere else?

View attachment 50913
Looks fake, labelled "look what I found"

View attachment 50918

View attachment 50919
This one I cannot find, but I SWEAR I've seen it somewhere else. There's also the fact that 1. The girl in the fanart's hair is a lot longer than Gloria's 2. The back of the dress is not the same and 3. She doesn't even credit the fanartist because it's probably for something completely different.

View attachment 50920

View attachment 50921

View attachment 50922
This one was posted right before a photo of her holding a strawberry daquiri
View attachment 50925
So it's most likely intended to look like hers. However the bracelets and nails are completely different. Short search indicates it may have been posted by a Pretty Little Liars star.

View attachment 50929
Possibly her but suspect. She takes a different pic later that appears to be from a different location in the same hotel, which is plausible.

View attachment 50930
This one is interesting. She tags it #calilife and #bacara, which is a resort in Santa Barbara, CA. HOWEVER it's actually a stock photo from Little Palm Island, in Florida! http://www.littlepalmisland.com/resort-photos.aspx#!prettyPhoto[Around the Resort]/6/
This absolutely lends to the idea that she is lying about all those vacations she claims to take. SO many of the vacation photos are stolen! Why can't she snap a photo of some tree or a fire pit herself? If she was at Bacara wouldn't she know this was not Bacara?
I believe that she is not constantly on trips to Cali, Colorado or wherever else she claims. Almost all photos from these supposed trips are stolen, sometimes not even from the correct place.
I didn't even bother looking up the 10,000 palm trees photos. She promotes this "glamorous rich Florida globetrotting girl" lifestyle on Instagram, but so many of the photos are stolen.

View attachment 50931
Nails and tan don't look like her. Nails & jewelry are a giveaway in a lot of photos.


I wonder if she takes photography classes at college, and if she pulls this same shit? She has a lot of photos of herself with that camera but few if any photos she's taken herself are posted.
Any of the photos done by Viva_Roberto are her. The one in the pink bikini is her, the paining looks like her mother's style, the one with the starfish is her, the one with the lemonade is not her (look at the nails, Glo keeps hers long) and I THINK the one with the scorpion bowl in the water is her. Also, the silhouette in the window is her.
 
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Vicious.ink3

Kisses, bitches
kiwifarms.net
Here you go, @Peace and Harmony :

View attachment 54692

The Tesches are photoshopped into this picture.

For one their feet are conveniently cropped out of the photo, which eradicates the issue of "floating", though you can still tell that Gloria's feet are a couple inches off the ground. Also, considering the angle of the Sun, the Tesches should cast some sort of shadow on the ground, but they don't. In addition there's no light hitting the tops of their heads.

Goddamn, just look at the scale, too. These people are midgets if this photo is real (and it's not). Compare this shot from farther away:

View attachment 54693

Look at the size of the car compared to its distance from the front door. Now look at the size of the front door in the photo with the family compared to the size of, say, Gloria's mother in foreground. Their height has been reduced in a vain effort to keep them entirely in the shadows in order to eradicate the whole lighting problem. Except it's still just a simple copy/paste job so the highest grade I can give them is a C-.
glo.png

Maybe not photo shopped (ugh, I love that red dress and hate myself for it)
 

Peace and Harmony

1 like = 1 kibble
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
https://lolcow.wiki/wiki/User:Peace_and_Harmony

Obnoxiously tagging @Vicious.ink3 and @melty

Okay so I've been putting this off like an asshole but I added a bit to the first section. This stuff about faking her pictures is awesome but I'm wondering how I should integrate it in - devote a whole section to it, maybe? Also I'm going to need some clarification on the whole deal with the house that started on page 99 or so of the thread.

Again, if anyone would like to contribute, I would love love love any assistance rendered.
 

Vicious.ink3

Kisses, bitches
kiwifarms.net
https://lolcow.wiki/wiki/User:Peace_and_Harmony

Obnoxiously tagging @Vicious.ink3 and @melty

Okay so I've been putting this off like an asshole but I added a bit to the first section. This stuff about faking her pictures is awesome but I'm wondering how I should integrate it in - devote a whole section to it, maybe? Also I'm going to need some clarification on the whole deal with the house that started on page 99 or so of the thread.

Again, if anyone would like to contribute, I would love love love any assistance rendered.
Read what you've got so far. Her mom's name is Marina.
 
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Vicious.ink3

Kisses, bitches
kiwifarms.net
@Lorento @IJustWantToSeeAttachments You guys have read the first book, right? I would love to get an extended summary from fellow Kiwis.
I've read the first book, but none of the others.
It's honestly just a monotonous trek from set dressing to set dressing with characters so one-dimensional that you'll picture them as cardboard cut-outs.
Set one: Epstein home where Dr/Professor/Substitute teacher Robert is battling a headache while getting ready for work while it's raining outside.
Set Two: Elementary school art class in FloYork City (because they imply it's New York and yet the whole story is in Florida and she never gives any real details) where children are drawing pictures of famous disasters in preparation for an incoming famous artist because apparently they go to the Presigious Mini Harvard Institute of the Criminally Negligent and Emotionally Scarring Caretakers and one little girl whose father died on 9/11 goes ape shit over a twin tower drawing as if she's never seen one before.
Set Three: Same classroom, Epstein pulls out a "story" which the viewers are either supposed to not recognize as the Bible or not comment on how illegal it is to read the bible to kids in a public school.
Set Four: Weird backstory about the devil, I mean the Morning Star. Dammit! I mean Apollyon!
Set Five: Swanson House, morning. Maya and Joey being awoken for school.
Set Six: Maya and Joey go to school, Maya gets on the wrong side of some chick.
Set Seven: Month or so later, Maya is still at odds with this chick and then they get into an unrealistic fight and Maya beats her ass because Mary-Sue, that's why.
Set Eight: Joey brings Maya to a party and then tries to kill her. Maya, surprisingly does not drown after getting her head bashed in on a corner of the pool and then being submerged for however long. Joey does not apologize for being a prick.
Set Nine: For some reason, Maya ever goes anywhere with her Ted Bundy brother alone again and they sneak into a private beach after being explicitly told that people have a nasty habit of going missing there.
Set Ten: Maya and joey go into a tunnel and emerge on the other side in a different world where nothing happens and nothing continues to happen in any way that I can understand for the rest of the book.
 
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