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Trainwreck Gloria Tesch

Discussion in 'Beauty Parlour' started by bradsternum, Mar 2, 2013.

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The Beauty Parlour is for women or not-women in the sphere of cosplay and the beauty industry that is not strictly limited to lolcows.

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  1. They were extremely expensive (we're talking in the realm of $100) and were just shells and plastic pearls glued to dollar store tiaras so I'm sure she has given up, but that shit started after she was married. Being married hasn't cured her thirst for cash and infamy.
     
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  2. Mermaid sperging ahoy. inb4 autism ratings.

    What I find interesting is that of the various mermaid images, this is probably the one that showcases the cheapness factor the most blatantly. Or at least, the lack of professionalism. As a composition it's unbalanced, and in a way that is somewhat uncomfortable to view. It's too heavy on the right side as well.

    It's been mentioned before, but the beach location is also a poor choice. The pile of rocks and shells are uncomfortable to sit on, and may be contributing to their body language.

    The woman with the blue tail isn't wearing her tail properly - it has obviously shifted. The blue fins in the front should be aligning with her legs. She's also clearly somewhat uncomfortable from her posture. As for what made her uncomfortable I don't know. Maybe what they're sitting on, like I said earlier? Where it folds on the waist is also a point showing that it was obviously a mass-produced tail and they didn't get it fitted for her. Now, since she probably won't swim in it that's not really a problem, but if they're going to do something akin to a photoshoot it's something they should have done.

    Gloria's tail is obviously fabric. Now I'm not criticizing her for that, babby's first tail is always fabric (especially since it can get really expensive very quickly), and there are still very nice fabric ones (now if this were a wet shoot then I'd be talking differently). It's just one that you rarely (if ever) see in photoshoots because of one of its biggest flaws: the knees. So, visible knees are one of the biggest complaints (second only to, if not equal to, visible heels) of the community. This is avoided in shoots by either the person's pose or camera angles when underwater (for instance in Splash). Or the audience just deals with it (such as with Hannah Mermaid or Mermaid Melissa), but it's a mark of quality when the issue of visible knees is avoided, either by a high quality tail, camera/pose tricks, or both. Really, the most damning thing is the fabric wrinkles, since that could have easily been avoided by pulling on the fabric from behind. Despite what I said earlier, sometimes knees are excused because after all humans have knees. But the loose fabric is a big no no.

    Edit: Clarified a few things.
     
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    spiritofamermaid

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  3. That is some comically bad Photoshop there. What are those marks on Gloria's mermaid friend, though? It looks like she's been beaten recently. Or was attempted to be grilled. Whatever they were going for it looks terrible.
     
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  4. She was trying to go for scales, like this, but due to poor color choice it turned out looking like bruises.
     
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    spiritofamermaid

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  5. Her breast looks legit bruised, but the shit on her arms looks like bad photoshop? I'm confused. Maybe it's supposed to be a photo of a toxic lesbian mermaid relationship?
     
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  6. Her friend looks a little weird, but Glo looks fucking ridiculous. It's almost like Glo shopped herself after it was edited or something. The other girls makeup is a little weird but you can tell it's supposed to be scales, with Glo I have no fucking idea.

    upload_2018-3-16_20-37-58.png
    1. Her arm looks FUCKED UP. I don't understand what the fuck they were going for. They also whittled her forearms down to the point where they don't make sense with the rest of her arm and it looks lumpy. Plus the fucking mermaid tail has just been painted in, where I wrote 1a. You can see where they haphazardly scribbled with the cloning tool :story:
    2.The blur on the tail is fucking INTENSE. It's blurred to the point where you can't actually see where it meets with her hip. She didn't blur out her knees, or the fabric bunching up, but she did blur the shit out of that one spot for some reason?
    3. Also chose to not blur out her back fat? She was already there with the blur tool?
     
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  7. I think we can conclude that she must have gained a shit ton of weight recently
     
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  8. I wonder why the same level of photoshopping wasn't applied to Gloria's friend. Is she not mermaid-worthy enough to have her tail blurred into her stomach?
     
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  9. Gloria always badly shoops herself but never the other girls in the pictures because she's self-centered, vain and petty. It just so happens her edits make her look worse to anyone who isn't Glo or her husband.
     
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  10. Oh Gloria, how glorious that name is.

    If you ever have a daughter, I hope her name her Gloria too, to keep the glorious legacy of the name of Glory.

    Oh Gloria.
     
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  11. https://www.instagram.com/p/BgY4HmuF3js/

    I snooped around the other 'mermaids' instagram and found glorious Gloria there.

    Now she was always a butterface with great body, but that shot - either it's really shitty angle or her ass is getting more and more fat in the worst way possible - getting blocky and dragged down instead of rounder.

    The mermaid girl is very pretty though but looks awful on the shoot with Gloria, which only proves further that anything she touches is terrible.
     
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  12. I know nothing about photography but even I can tell that the photographer used a horrible angle to take the pic. If this guy is trying to claim he's a professional, yeah, good luck with that.

    The other thing that makes the other mermaid unattractive is the terrible makeup job that as done on her. Very few women are going to look attractive with a predominantly blue color palette. When I see her blue lips, all I can think of is DiCaprio in Titanic.
     
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  13. I disagree, I think the biggest problem is that the color choice for the makeup scales is very poor. If she had gone for the one that I used in my example for what she was trying to do, it would have worked. Her outfit is just a clustertruck of color. She went for green+blue+violet, when she should've just stayed with green+blue. It can be done, but it requires more effort than what they put in it seems.
    Edit: If I ever feel autistic enough, I could probably sperg even more with greater scrutiny on both of them, or at the very least with the blue one. I was too focused on the loose fabric to notice the blurring on Gloria, but other than the dishonesty her color scheme is nice (which of course, always gotta make her look nice even though the picture is framed oddly).
     
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    spiritofamermaid

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  14. I wonder if Gloria's mother sung "Gloria" to her on a regular basis.

    I would do that if I had a daughter named Gloria. Just to glorify the glory of that glorious name even more.

    Oh Gloria.
     
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  15. [​IMG] upload_2018-4-6_7-15-10.png
     
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  16. Has no one here pointed out yet that her dad died and she's trying to crowd fund the funeral?

    https://www.gofundme.com/belovedgerrytesch

    Only days after posting about going on a giant vacation to Hawaii

    https://youtu.be/PoBmc1qTxpQ

    Or has this already been brought it up and I missed it?

    Of course, I don't want to mock anyone's grief. But the GoFindGo funeral seemed... fitting.
     
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  17. Didn't even know this to be honest.

    RIP Herr Tesch.
     
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  18. How long ago did this happen? Maybe his health was declining and that's why Mama Tesch was all "YOU FIND MAN NOW MKAY" because they could be having less money than before? Of course, this is all very cynical of me to be honest.

    But rip papa Tesch, he had the biggest dreams.
     
    spiritofamermaid

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  19. Holy shit! I guess that's the end of Maradonia since he was the only one pushing it.

    How did you find this?

    The link says March 28th.
     
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