Celebrity GOOP -

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melty

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
GOOP is Gwyneth Paltrow's scheme to sell stupid woo shit in a catalog/blog to other wealthy idiots with far, far more money than sense. I assumed it had gone out of business, but apparently it still exists.

GOOP is an acronym for Gwyneth something something Paltrow. Or maybe it's not. I have no idea. From their facebook page:
goop is one of the rare places on the web where food, shopping, and mindfulness collide—where the ever-evolving intent is to make every choice count. We’re all resource strapped, so goop hopes to surface the very best experiences, recipes, products, and advice. Launched in the fall of 2008 out of Gwyneth Paltrow’s kitchen, goop was originally conceived as a weekly e-mail newsletter. Its intent was two-fold: GP wanted a place to organize her unbiased travel recs, health-centric recipes, and shopping discoveries for friends, and she also wanted to get her own questions—about health, fitness, and the psyche—answered. Now, goop has become a place for GP to introduce some of the incredible experts who have mentored her throughout her life to a wider audience, and a place where readers can find suggestions about where to shop, eat, and stay from a trusted friend—not from an anonymous, crowd-sourced recommendation engine. Ultimately, we hope goop is an indispensable resource for all who love to make, go, get, do, be and see.

Some of the products she shills:

$120 NASA stickers that heal your chakras or something?
http://www.papermag.com/goop-slammed-by-nasa-for-selling-120-bio-frequency-healing-stickers-2446243888.html




Jade eggs for your vagina:
http://goop.com/better-sex-jade-eggs-for-your-yoni/



Moon Dust for smoothies:
http://goop.com/recipes/gps-morning-smoothie/
It also includes Ashwagandha, Cordyceps, and ho shou wu (?) if you can't pronounce it it's probably good for you.

Goop yourself, satirical blog:
https://goopyourself.podbean.com/

Parks & Recreation parody, because Parks & Rec is awesome:

There is a ton of content here, seriously look into it if you haven't already.
 

Yaks

Beware of young girls...
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
The three women in the sticker picture look so... off. Especially the middle one. I can't put my finger on it but I'm sure faces don't look like that.
Nah it's what they look like. I've seen the middle one in particular in a few high fashion magazines and on runways. They like looking for girls with really weird facial structures because its more interesting.
 

MerriedxReldnahc

World's Okay-est Proctologist
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Those chakra stickers remind me of something overheard at Whole Foods (which should give you a good idea of where this story is going) about putting sticky notes on your water bottle with positive sayings on it. You see, the positivity of the sticky note will alter the molecular composition of the water, which will make it healthier for you. Because science.
 

escapegoat

The answer is always "porn."
kiwifarms.net
Those chakra stickers remind me of something overheard at Whole Foods (which should give you a good idea of where this story is going) about putting sticky notes on your water bottle with positive sayings on it. You see, the positivity of the sticky note will alter the molecular composition of the water, which will make it healthier for you. Because science.
That was actually the basis of a popular quack's entire career. Masaru Emoto and his magical feels water.
 

Stephanie Bustcakes

Just giving out boners for free.
kiwifarms.net
Those chakra stickers remind me of something overheard at Whole Foods (which should give you a good idea of where this story is going) about putting sticky notes on your water bottle with positive sayings on it. You see, the positivity of the sticky note will alter the molecular composition of the water, which will make it healthier for you. Because science.
Those people probably think flame decals make your car go faster.
 
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