Dilbertmann
kiwifarms.net
HUZZAH! I have returned from my abcense to give you fellow Kiwis one ripe little lolcow...a political one. But this is no ordinary one. Meet...Gordon Klingenschmitt.
(LOOK AT THAT ALMOST BALD HEAD GODDAMN)
Gordon "Dr. Chaps" Klingenschmitt is a Colorado House of Represenatives member (yes, I live in Colorado). Known for seeking demons at every side, thumping the crap out of the bible, hating the gays, blah blah blah blah. He was 'honorably discharged' as a military chaplain for the Navy, and ended up getting court martialed because he was whining over a restrictive prayer policy where Chaplains can pray in their uniforms (or in other words, Dr. Chaps was left out and got butthurt. I cast doubt on him being honorably discharged, but I'll get to that later.). This led to him becoming a politician, and a talk-show host for something he created, "Pray for Jesus", where he thumps the bible and says wingnut things. Of course, what makes him a lolcow? Well...
ONE: HE'S A POSSIBLE SCAMMER.
Coloradopols, a progressive website, claimed that donations to either GordonforColorado.com or his Pray in Jesus' Name show went to one bank account, GJK, Inc, which is persumably a personal bank account. I'll just take a snippet from the site:
Also, GJK inc. isn't really incorporated. Gordon supposedly claimed that he "built an orphanage for 94 kids in India", but there's no real clear evidence about it. Again, as Coloradopols says:
Basically, Dr. Chaps can't separate political and religious money and solicits donations from dingus goobers and claims of putting their money into good hands, but in reality he probably spends it on fancy furniture and assorted crap no one cares about while keeping the solicited money in his bank account. His cash stream is both unethical and illegal, and may cause him to be paid a visit by an IRS agent in the future.
TWO: HE SAYS OR DOES AMUSINGLY LUDICROUS OR HORRIFYING THINGS IN THE NAME OF JESUS.
Being a Confederate flag fundamentalist, Dr. Chaps says the darndest things! Most of these shouldn't be taken too seriously. For example, he wrote a fucking book on how Obama may be possessed by demons and tried to perform an exorcism on him. He also thinks atheists and left-wingers should be gunned down thanks to second amendment rights, baby!
He's also obsessed with homosexuality, thinking that homos are possessed by demons. But this could imply that Dr. Chaps is highly insecure about his sexuality given his penchant for constantly throwing out mentions of how homos are possessed and shit.
Of course, that's not all. His videos are a rich gold mine of unintentional wackiness of gay obsessiveness and demons:
And then there's the horrible things he says - for example, his reaction to a woman's tragic stabbing where her unborn fetus was killed:
As a result, he became discredited by his colleagues, he played the victim and under pressure, made a half-hearted apology about the whole thing. What a prick.
THREE: HE'S VERY PARANOID AND REACTS NEGATIVELY TO CRITICISM.
No seriously, he is. Being the narcissist he is, Dr. Chaps surfs the net for any mention of him and will complain by either Facebook or Twitter, or at the very least, try and take down a YouTube account of his most strongest critics - Right Wing Watch. It backfired on him and he ended up getting a cease-and-desist letter. He then said this gem about the whole thing, favoring second amendment rights:
Like anyone's gonna carry threats. He thinks criticism is a death threat towards him and his wife, which is not true. But then again, he's a paranoid fucknut, so who cares? And of course, remember about him being a scammer? Well, he tried to deny that to a Facebook response on Coloradopols.
In short, Gordon is a bible-loving loon that steals, lies, and is probably a crazed lunatic that says some real funny things. Hell, with his love for the bible and obsession with gays, he might as well be gay for Jesus at this point.
(LOOK AT THAT ALMOST BALD HEAD GODDAMN)
Gordon "Dr. Chaps" Klingenschmitt is a Colorado House of Represenatives member (yes, I live in Colorado). Known for seeking demons at every side, thumping the crap out of the bible, hating the gays, blah blah blah blah. He was 'honorably discharged' as a military chaplain for the Navy, and ended up getting court martialed because he was whining over a restrictive prayer policy where Chaplains can pray in their uniforms (or in other words, Dr. Chaps was left out and got butthurt. I cast doubt on him being honorably discharged, but I'll get to that later.). This led to him becoming a politician, and a talk-show host for something he created, "Pray for Jesus", where he thumps the bible and says wingnut things. Of course, what makes him a lolcow? Well...
ONE: HE'S A POSSIBLE SCAMMER.
Coloradopols, a progressive website, claimed that donations to either GordonforColorado.com or his Pray in Jesus' Name show went to one bank account, GJK, Inc, which is persumably a personal bank account. I'll just take a snippet from the site:
Also, GJK inc. isn't really incorporated. Gordon supposedly claimed that he "built an orphanage for 94 kids in India", but there's no real clear evidence about it. Again, as Coloradopols says:
Basically, Dr. Chaps can't separate political and religious money and solicits donations from dingus goobers and claims of putting their money into good hands, but in reality he probably spends it on fancy furniture and assorted crap no one cares about while keeping the solicited money in his bank account. His cash stream is both unethical and illegal, and may cause him to be paid a visit by an IRS agent in the future.
TWO: HE SAYS OR DOES AMUSINGLY LUDICROUS OR HORRIFYING THINGS IN THE NAME OF JESUS.
Being a Confederate flag fundamentalist, Dr. Chaps says the darndest things! Most of these shouldn't be taken too seriously. For example, he wrote a fucking book on how Obama may be possessed by demons and tried to perform an exorcism on him. He also thinks atheists and left-wingers should be gunned down thanks to second amendment rights, baby!
He's also obsessed with homosexuality, thinking that homos are possessed by demons. But this could imply that Dr. Chaps is highly insecure about his sexuality given his penchant for constantly throwing out mentions of how homos are possessed and shit.
Of course, that's not all. His videos are a rich gold mine of unintentional wackiness of gay obsessiveness and demons:
And then there's the horrible things he says - for example, his reaction to a woman's tragic stabbing where her unborn fetus was killed:
As a result, he became discredited by his colleagues, he played the victim and under pressure, made a half-hearted apology about the whole thing. What a prick.
THREE: HE'S VERY PARANOID AND REACTS NEGATIVELY TO CRITICISM.
No seriously, he is. Being the narcissist he is, Dr. Chaps surfs the net for any mention of him and will complain by either Facebook or Twitter, or at the very least, try and take down a YouTube account of his most strongest critics - Right Wing Watch. It backfired on him and he ended up getting a cease-and-desist letter. He then said this gem about the whole thing, favoring second amendment rights:
Like anyone's gonna carry threats. He thinks criticism is a death threat towards him and his wife, which is not true. But then again, he's a paranoid fucknut, so who cares? And of course, remember about him being a scammer? Well, he tried to deny that to a Facebook response on Coloradopols.
In short, Gordon is a bible-loving loon that steals, lies, and is probably a crazed lunatic that says some real funny things. Hell, with his love for the bible and obsession with gays, he might as well be gay for Jesus at this point.
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