- Highlight
- #1
Notice: Most of the content of this post was provided by @Potatis Salad , @*extremely mom voice* and @đź’—Bitchstopher Columbitchđź’—, and previously posted in the Tranny Sideshows on Social Media thread; I just collected and rearranged it in a proper thread. Please let me know if I forgot to credit someone. If you have more info about them that might be worth adding to this post, please feel free to DM me.
(pic from April 2021)
Grace Lavery (powerlevel: Joseph Lavery) and Daniel Lavery (powerlevel: Mallory Ortberg) are a straight couple comprised by, respectively, an autogynephile transwoman and a self-hating, possibly autistic, gender non-conforming woman turned transman. Ortberg and Lavery both post prolifically on social media, where Ortberg has the much larger following, but Lavery is the really compelling troon in the situation, having all the trappings of a narcissist.
In 2017, Lavery met Ortberg online, got her into his thrall, and trooned out within about a year of meeting in real life. Mallory trooned out as well, chopping off her tits in 2018. They got married in 2019 (according to Lavery's vows, in the hope they could "avoid dwindling into mere heterosexuality").
Lavery, already estranged from his own family, convinced Mallory to publicly cut ties with her family as well. They abruptly moved to NYC to get away from Mallory's family in the Bay Area. Before the pandemic, Lavery commuted weekly to Berkeley for his classes, in spite of TSA's twansphobia reducing him to tears.
A few days before their wedding ceremony, they both announced on social media Ortberg was cutting contact definitely with her family while withholding the actual reason. That surprised a lot of people who followed Ortberg prior to her relationship to Lavery, since she used to be close to her family, and they were acceptive of her transition (in spite of being evangelical).
The couple milked the mystery for all it was worth (Lavery even bragged the drama increased the number of subscribers to his paywalled blog) until it was revealed that Mallory's father, John Ortberg, a prominent pastor, allowed a self- admitted pedophile to "treat" himself by doing volunteer work with children, including chaperoning them overnight. When Mallory and Lavery suggested that the pedophile go to therapy, John Ortberg said they were not qualified to suggest treatment because they're troons.
Mallory decided to cut ties with her entire family (father, mother, and sister) after making the discovery that said pedophile was her own brother. As you'd expect from an autogynephile transwoman, Lavery decided to support Mallory through his very difficult decision in her life by posting Twitter selfies complaining about HIS MENSTRUAL CRAMPS:
While Ortberg and Lavery are eager to represent themselves as a queer, sex-positive couple in social media with post-coital selfies, their sex life fulfills one of the most infamous straight couple stereotypes: a deeply unsatisfied woman who humiliates herself for her man's pleasure...

...while he can't be arsed to even pay attention to her needs during intercourse., dreamily meditating about transmisogyny while his wife sucks his dick:
(by the way, this happened on their very first night as a married couple)
...pressures her into sexual acts she wouldn't normally partake in before:
...and conveniently demotes her to just a "sex partner" instead of spouse:
Lavery likes to compare his relationship to Mallory with Yoko Ono and John Lennon's relationship. Since their marriage half a century ago, Ono has been often accused of destroying the ex-Beatle's career by deliberately isolating him from his bandmates and killing his creative output. Again on a blogpost, Lavery brags about ruining the arguably more successful Ortberg (and alienating her even further, this time from her fans) with a combination of (supposedly consensual) verbal, physical and sexual abuse:
Source.
The couple lives in Carroll Gardens, an affluent neighborhood in NYC, in a very spacious house, but it's especulated that the couple still has access to a previous address closer to his workplace in Berkeley, California.
Deadname: Mallory Ortberg | DOB: November 28, 1986 | Wikipedia page | Instagram | Twitter
Awkward-looking and probably autistic, Ortberg used to write cutesy clever shit for women's websites The Hairpin and The Toast. She currently writes Slate's Dear Prudence advice column. While Ortberg was never known for giving particularly sensible advice, she's become worse at it thanks to Lavery's influence, seeing even the most mundane requests under a fetishistic lens:
Mallory might have had some buyer's remorse with her transition since in March, 2020, she changed her pronouns from he/him to they/them and stopped taking testosterone, which is too little, too late since she already had her breasts surgically removed.
Regarding her motives for trooning out, our very own @Safir offers her helpful analysis:
Since @NerdShamer pointed out the massive amount of autism on her Wikipedia page (archive) about the ethics of including pre-transition pics, now I'm including pre-transition pics. It turns out she was actually cute and could have found a much better partner than an ugly British coomer:
Deadname: Joseph Lavery | DOB: March 17, 1983 | Twitter | Instagram
Lavery is a tenured English professor at Berkeley (which allows him to behave unprofessionally under the guise of fighting for women's rights), making about 100 grand (thanks to @Crunchy Leaf for the info). He is a former alcoholic, and as many troons, is emotionally crippled both by daddy and mommy issues. So instead of "becoming the girlfriend" like other troons, Lavery transitioned to become his own mother (see previous link).
Speaking of his Oedipal complex, he believes his previous mothers-in-law (Ortberg is his 4th spouse) were attracted to him, and describes himself in one of his blog posts as "a dicktease for moms":
Sure enough, he's an autogynephile (the kind of man who troons out because he's sexually attracted to himself when he crossdresses):
Since narcissists get bored easily and according to Lavery himself the only thing that doesn't make him bored is sexual degeneracy, he created a project for these times of self-isolation: the BUNKERSLUTS, an Instagram page for ugly, unattractive exhibitionists to expose themselves and provide Lavery with narcissistic supply:
Here are some of Joe's pre-transition pictures. Notice how, in the words of our very own @Potatis Salad (soon you'll see why I'm quoting this), "he had a certain creepy, pathetic, miserable, desperate je ne sais quoi back then":
As expected from lolcows, Lavery doesn't respond well to criticism. Joe's façade of self-confidence crumbles as soon as people criticize his Buffalo Bill-looking ass, giving place to one of self-doubt (yes, he visits Kiwi Farms):
Shortly after, though, he proves his detractors right:

He also sends porn to women who cause him narcissistic injury, involving them non-consensually in his fetishes, and is fond of accusing anything short of relentless ass-kissing as "transmisogyny".
The Berkeley address mentioned before, thanks to @Coach Kreeton Of All That :
2010 5th St. #576
Berkeley, CA 94710
And their current address in New York, confirmed by @Potatis Salad :
83 1st Place, Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn
Grace Lavery (Joseph Lavery) & Daniel M. Lavery (Mallory Ortberg)
B.T. (Before Troonism):
A.T. (After Troonism):
(pic from April 2021)
Grace Lavery (powerlevel: Joseph Lavery) and Daniel Lavery (powerlevel: Mallory Ortberg) are a straight couple comprised by, respectively, an autogynephile transwoman and a self-hating, possibly autistic, gender non-conforming woman turned transman. Ortberg and Lavery both post prolifically on social media, where Ortberg has the much larger following, but Lavery is the really compelling troon in the situation, having all the trappings of a narcissist.
About the couple
In 2017, Lavery met Ortberg online, got her into his thrall, and trooned out within about a year of meeting in real life. Mallory trooned out as well, chopping off her tits in 2018. They got married in 2019 (according to Lavery's vows, in the hope they could "avoid dwindling into mere heterosexuality").
Lavery, already estranged from his own family, convinced Mallory to publicly cut ties with her family as well. They abruptly moved to NYC to get away from Mallory's family in the Bay Area. Before the pandemic, Lavery commuted weekly to Berkeley for his classes, in spite of TSA's twansphobia reducing him to tears.
A few days before their wedding ceremony, they both announced on social media Ortberg was cutting contact definitely with her family while withholding the actual reason. That surprised a lot of people who followed Ortberg prior to her relationship to Lavery, since she used to be close to her family, and they were acceptive of her transition (in spite of being evangelical).
The couple milked the mystery for all it was worth (Lavery even bragged the drama increased the number of subscribers to his paywalled blog) until it was revealed that Mallory's father, John Ortberg, a prominent pastor, allowed a self- admitted pedophile to "treat" himself by doing volunteer work with children, including chaperoning them overnight. When Mallory and Lavery suggested that the pedophile go to therapy, John Ortberg said they were not qualified to suggest treatment because they're troons.
Mallory decided to cut ties with her entire family (father, mother, and sister) after making the discovery that said pedophile was her own brother. As you'd expect from an autogynephile transwoman, Lavery decided to support Mallory through his very difficult decision in her life by posting Twitter selfies complaining about HIS MENSTRUAL CRAMPS:
While Ortberg and Lavery are eager to represent themselves as a queer, sex-positive couple in social media with post-coital selfies, their sex life fulfills one of the most infamous straight couple stereotypes: a deeply unsatisfied woman who humiliates herself for her man's pleasure...

...while he can't be arsed to even pay attention to her needs during intercourse., dreamily meditating about transmisogyny while his wife sucks his dick:
(by the way, this happened on their very first night as a married couple)
...pressures her into sexual acts she wouldn't normally partake in before:
...and conveniently demotes her to just a "sex partner" instead of spouse:
Lavery likes to compare his relationship to Mallory with Yoko Ono and John Lennon's relationship. Since their marriage half a century ago, Ono has been often accused of destroying the ex-Beatle's career by deliberately isolating him from his bandmates and killing his creative output. Again on a blogpost, Lavery brags about ruining the arguably more successful Ortberg (and alienating her even further, this time from her fans) with a combination of (supposedly consensual) verbal, physical and sexual abuse:
Grace Joe Lavery said:The boy I'm gonna Yoko is... well, not to strain the point, but he's honestly kind of famous? You've probably heard some of his stuff, even if you haven't heard of him or his band. Actually that's part of the problem. Anyway he's got this... following, I guess? They're kind of like... really into him? It's so funny. They follow everything he does. It's so funny, so, so, so funny, and I'm going to take everything they love away.
The boy I’m gonna Yoko is supple, flexible. He can touch his toes. His arms bend back when I put him in stress positions. Then I let my friends take a ride. We do everything to him, we call him names and slap his face but we are careful not to lay our fingers on even the outer fringes of his ego. We call him “slut” and “faggot.” We put him in a harness and sling him around the room like a pebble. [...] In a sense, the whole experience is a long meditation on the powerless of the fans, the fragility of their compensatory fantasies. Bless! I fucking love to ruin things.
Source.
The couple lives in Carroll Gardens, an affluent neighborhood in NYC, in a very spacious house, but it's especulated that the couple still has access to a previous address closer to his workplace in Berkeley, California.
About Daniel M. Lavery
Deadname: Mallory Ortberg | DOB: November 28, 1986 | Wikipedia page | Instagram | Twitter
Awkward-looking and probably autistic, Ortberg used to write cutesy clever shit for women's websites The Hairpin and The Toast. She currently writes Slate's Dear Prudence advice column. While Ortberg was never known for giving particularly sensible advice, she's become worse at it thanks to Lavery's influence, seeing even the most mundane requests under a fetishistic lens:
A woman writes to Mallory at the Dear Prudence advice column, concerned that her husband isn't willing to pursue overdue payments from his business clients, and is therefore losing money that he is owed. Mallory's response:
Daniel Mallory Ortberg said:I’m almost curious if your husband has an unacknowledged thing for findom and might find relief in turning “losing” money into a sex game between the two of you.
[If you don't know, "findom" is "financial domination," a kink in the BDSM world. Which has absolutely nothing to do with this poor woman's question about her husband's shitty business practices.]
Mallory might have had some buyer's remorse with her transition since in March, 2020, she changed her pronouns from he/him to they/them and stopped taking testosterone, which is too little, too late since she already had her breasts surgically removed.
Regarding her motives for trooning out, our very own @Safir offers her helpful analysis:
Mallory is a well-educated daughter of preachers, she has a massive corpus of inspirational writing and imagery to fall back on. We know why she actually trooned out: to keep up with her troon husband on the woke totem pole instead of remaining a boring "cissy", and to reframe the sexual degradation he inflicted on her as her choice (because women get talked into degradation, as she was, but masochistic men get tied up and whipped by tranny hookers and still remain in control). Mallory is freakishly intelligent by cow standards because she's only here due to Lavery.
Since @NerdShamer pointed out the massive amount of autism on her Wikipedia page (archive) about the ethics of including pre-transition pics, now I'm including pre-transition pics. It turns out she was actually cute and could have found a much better partner than an ugly British coomer:
About Grace Lavery
Deadname: Joseph Lavery | DOB: March 17, 1983 | Twitter | Instagram
Lavery is a tenured English professor at Berkeley (which allows him to behave unprofessionally under the guise of fighting for women's rights), making about 100 grand (thanks to @Crunchy Leaf for the info). He is a former alcoholic, and as many troons, is emotionally crippled both by daddy and mommy issues. So instead of "becoming the girlfriend" like other troons, Lavery transitioned to become his own mother (see previous link).
Speaking of his Oedipal complex, he believes his previous mothers-in-law (Ortberg is his 4th spouse) were attracted to him, and describes himself in one of his blog posts as "a dicktease for moms":
Grace Joe Lavery said:I have met, loved, and been loved by the families of many of my partners. The first family who loved me well was that of my first spouse. When we split up, which we did for the reasons I’ve mentioned, the family turned on me, and that was the hardest part of the whole experience. Since I was an orphaned, or at-least-half-orphaned, child, the love of other families was lavished upon me freely, joyously, and temporarily. Of course that family didn’t wish to be kind to me once I had left them. That would have been a category error.
The second spouse, and family, loved me in a very specific way: as people who want to be better than their religious orthodoxy will let them, love a cad whose picaresque charm attracts them, while allowing them to fantasize about saving a soul. That ambivalent desire and repulsion has followed me in a number of domains of my life (I have come to think of it as a trans girl thing), and it tends to be more erotically charged than one would expect. Not the first spouse-mother, but the second and the third spouse-mothers, had little crushes on me.
Perhaps mothers have crushes on their kids’ partners; perhaps that is a general thing. Anyway those frissons felt healing and lovely, rather than predatory or unsafe. I knew one would never move beyond the lightest, gentlest flirt once every year or so - it seems ridiculous to even imagine that it could. It was just a spark, a little warmth in the relation that felt secret and shy, a little gentle eroticization that let me know that my new pseudo-mother loved me, that they were at least as attracted to as concerned about the aspects of my personality about which they expressed the most voluble concern. Their bad faith relation to me precluded, in general, honesty with themselves or the world - but this I always knew, and didn’t mind. There is something cruel in me, there. A dicktease for moms.
Sure enough, he's an autogynephile (the kind of man who troons out because he's sexually attracted to himself when he crossdresses):
Grace Joe Lavery said:On or around my birthday, I went into the city for the first time. I was wearing skinny jeans (I was thin, then), a little glittery make-up, and a tight black crop top with a silver print of the silhouette of Brigitte Bardot, with the caption BARDOT. I had a discman and was listening to “Miss E... So Addictive” by Missy Elliott, repeat playing “Get Your Freak On.” I sashayed into the MOMA, the bhangra-inflected opening of the track rattling around my hips, and stood in front of that big Pollock canvas, shaking my skinny ass to the beat.
I did this a couple more times: a few weeks later, I met an American friend from Oxford downtown, he took me to a gay bar in the village and I think we made out a bit. I only heard Missy Elliott. That same month, New York had introduced a smoking ban, which annoyed me, since I smoked a lot and thought about my immediate physical needs almost constantly. At some point I realized that American girls liked to kiss British boys, and that was fun too - I realized I had a kind of gift here that didn’t work back home. Some combination of rage, lust, and self-regard - I felt sexy in my jeans, with my art, and my freak on - and, I didn’t want to leave. I wanted sleepovers with porn and kissing with American girls, gay bars and kissing American boys, and art and music and rage rage rage rage rage.
FUCK, I wish I had transitioned a decade ago, or better two decades ago; FUCK I wish I hadn’t had to transition, and was just estrogenated and pussied from the get-go.
Since narcissists get bored easily and according to Lavery himself the only thing that doesn't make him bored is sexual degeneracy, he created a project for these times of self-isolation: the BUNKERSLUTS, an Instagram page for ugly, unattractive exhibitionists to expose themselves and provide Lavery with narcissistic supply:
Here are some of Joe's pre-transition pictures. Notice how, in the words of our very own @Potatis Salad (soon you'll see why I'm quoting this), "he had a certain creepy, pathetic, miserable, desperate je ne sais quoi back then":
Reaction to criticism
As expected from lolcows, Lavery doesn't respond well to criticism. Joe's façade of self-confidence crumbles as soon as people criticize his Buffalo Bill-looking ass, giving place to one of self-doubt (yes, he visits Kiwi Farms):
Shortly after, though, he proves his detractors right:

He also sends porn to women who cause him narcissistic injury, involving them non-consensually in his fetishes, and is fond of accusing anything short of relentless ass-kissing as "transmisogyny".
Cow crossovers
- Lavery claims responsibility for Glinner being banned by Twitter because Glinner called him a groomer.
- Joe is has threatened to sue journalist Jesse Singal. While Singal isn't a cow himself, he is a huge cow magnet, having attracted the negative attention of most of the Rat King.
- After they accept the Substack deal trannies weren't supposed to accept, the Laveries attracted the ire of fellow lolcow Sady Doyle, who turned down a similar deal to try to force Substack to ban authors troons don't like, such as Glinner.
Dox
The Berkeley address mentioned before, thanks to @Coach Kreeton Of All That :
2010 5th St. #576
Berkeley, CA 94710
And their current address in New York, confirmed by @Potatis Salad :
83 1st Place, Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn
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