Lolcow Grace Lavery & Daniel M. Lavery (Joseph Lavery & Mallory Ortberg) - "Straight with extra steps" couple trooning out to avoid "dwindling into mere heterosexuality"

Trianon

kiwifarms.net
It's Orson Welles, playing the titular character in Falstaff. Just what the fuck is wrong with this woman? I mean aside from the obvious.
One of her most recent podcast episodes was about swooning over Orson Welles, for some reason. Apparently he is her new Brendan Fraser / ideal self.

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Joe is also officially a "lady" as of March. I know these doctors are just rubber-stampers at this point, but I don't know how they can do things like this in good conscience. It's a derilection of their duty as physicians (as in, the physical body). If "successfully completed her transition from male to female" can mean having a penis still........ ay ay ay.

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Joe, CRT and DEI initiatives think Asians are all too good at math to let them into schools at the rate that they earn, because they take up too much space. They are racist. It is not white supremacists trying to kick Asians out of schools, or stop teaching Spanish because it's colonialist, or throwing up their hands and admitting they have to get rid of test scores to allow Black kids in.

The only person I've ever seen describe themselves as "race critical" is Thomas Chatterton Williams, a Black French scholar who thinks racial categories are limiting. Read his book, Joe.

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Oh, Jesus Christ.

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Boris Blank's glass eye

And just for you I have a spoon
kiwifarms.net
One of her most recent podcast episodes was about swooning over Orson Welles, for some reason. Apparently he is her new Brendan Fraser / ideal self.
That's fucking hilarious and it makes perfect sense.
After all, Orson Welles
  • despite many acclaimed works could arguably never surpass his early success, specifically his War of the Worlds radio adaptation and Citizen Kane
  • gained a lot of weight as he got older
  • sold his talents for pennies, like those winery ads
Alcoholic Mallory saga incoming? Is she going to turn to 100 proof single barrel bourbon or huge boxes of cheap red wine? I can't wait to find out!
 

MirnaMinkoff

Mama, nobody sends you a turd and expects to live.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
It's Orson Welles, playing the titular character in Falstaff. Just what the fuck is wrong with this woman? I mean aside from the obvious.
She apparently thinks Orson is some quirky obscure figure to fan girl because she’s name drops him a lot recently. She probably saw Mank last year and got inspired. She was talking about the shitty ads he did in the 1960’s to make ends meet a few weeks back.
That's fucking hilarious and it makes perfect sense.
After all, Orson Welles
  • despite many acclaimed works could arguably never surpass his early success, specifically his War of the Worlds radio adaptation and Citizen Kane
  • gained a lot of weight as he got older
  • sold his talents for pennies, like those winery ads
Alcoholic Mallory saga incoming? Is she going to turn to 100 proof single barrel bourbon or huge boxes of cheap red wine? I can't wait to find out!
Touch of Evil, magnificent ambersons…Hollywood never forgave Orson for actually not only living up to all the hype of a wunderkind but rubbing their noses in it. Never had Hollywood wanted someone to fail so badly that succeeded so wildly on an artistic/creative level. He was always on borrowed time for this.

As for Mallory, she could only dream of being such an original and unique talent as old Orson, but you are right, she might get as fat as him.

I think Mallory will move to “clowning” on 20th century artists and writers since she can’t possibly have another decade of clowning on her college lit reading list and the Bible. Orson may be a part of that endeavor.

If she would go all in on the hyper-mid-20th masculine aesthetic I’d be mildly impressed. It would at least be a refreshing change of pace from the typical trans-man style. Mallory in a well tailored suit (or anything) with proper grooming would be a dramatic improvement.
 

Boris Blank's glass eye

And just for you I have a spoon
kiwifarms.net
If she would go all in on the hyper-mid-20th masculine aesthetic I’d be mildly impressed. It would at least be a refreshing change of pace from the typical trans-man style. Mallory in a well tailored suit (or anything) with proper grooming would be a dramatic improvement.
Well-tailored suit? She wouldn't know one if it was thrown in her face at full force. I'm told James Dean and Marlon Brando were hugely influential butch icons in their time, so Mal might go for a Brando look.

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What were you expecting? Muscular '50s Brando from A Streetcar Named Desire?

NGL I'd like to see her actually succeed at something again and IMO she should go for a Bogie aesthetic instead. That would complement her looks, but she seriously needs to lose some weight first.
 

Trianon

kiwifarms.net
Mallory's going to have to curdle into someone as bitter as Joe to match Orson's lovable orneriness. I can't wait to hear her rail against Animal House.

Now we bring you Joe struggling to understand the Forstater case.

First, a meme:

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Propaganda to avoid talking about her win. But how did they pull that quote?

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TRAs went ballistic over this. She is clearly lying over what's right there in black and white!

But the news articles all use a misquote. They all leave out the most important part of the sentence - "to many others". That's not some vindication that her beliefs really are offensive/distressing. Or even an acknowledgement that the judge "may well find them offensive too." It means SOME PEOPLE hate her views, an obvious statement of fact. Cutting the sentence off at that point is a misquote, and the meme is a complete bastardization. It also, as Maya Forstater says in the thread, directs attention away from the part where the judge acknowledges many people hold Forstater's beliefs as well.

But Joe thinks they've nailed her.

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Feel like I'm on crazy pills, though, because not even Maya's defenders are picking up on the obvious issues with not quoting the full thing. You don't always have to do the full quote if the meaning remains the same without certain words, but that is not the case here at all. (And that's not even getting into everyone picking the same quote, with the same cutoff, which is clearly picked from one of those press releases activist orgs send out after political events like this.)

Everyone is just so so dumb kill me.
 

Chapstick4Lyfe

ask me about Kevin Gibes e-begging - $4276.90+
kiwifarms.net
How the fuck is fat Failory offended by this question when people like this prance around with full beards and facial hair and claim to be women?
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Oh, Joe. If you were actually a woman, there would be no need for the phrase, "in my medical opinion".
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It’s been well observed, but I’ll admit to always being kind of fascinated by how some people’s brains can only manage the most basic & obvious cues and clues about reality. “I have a manly beard. Everyone will see this manly beard and know, in fact, I am a man.” (Insert breasts, skirts, makeup on the flip side.) The problem is, of course, literally all the other thousands of subtle (? Not to me but I guess to some!) indicators are clockable to third parties. Face blindness? Autistic sensory overload? Good ol’ fashioned personality disorder? I’m intrigued by what their brains can and cannot process.
 

MirnaMinkoff

Mama, nobody sends you a turd and expects to live.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Well-tailored suit? She wouldn't know one if it was thrown in her face at full force. I'm told James Dean and Marlon Brando were hugely influential butch icons in their time, so Mal might go for a Brando look.

View attachment 2253597
What were you expecting? Muscular '50s Brando from A Streetcar Named Desire?

NGL I'd like to see her actually succeed at something again and IMO she should go for a Bogie aesthetic instead. That would complement her looks, but she seriously needs to lose some weight first.
Mallory could never pull off the dark brooding masculine aesthetic. I think her best bet for a masculine icon she could mimic is King Henry VIII. She might pull off Truman Capote's style and it would be fitting. Truman’s voice was only slightly more masculine than her own. A butch Truman Capote could be a good fit for her.

There are probably other options for masculine icons but they would require Mallory hit the gym which it's obvious she is not inclined to do at all. It's actually shocking that she would bother to take T and have her breasts removed and then never try to build any muscle to create a masculine physique. I mean the only real benefit of T for a woman is the ability to build lean muscle mass a lot more easily. I can't believe she didn't take advantage of it, but instead thinks a scruffy pube beard will suffice instead.

I guess it's no wonder she's looking to fat men for inspiration but it won't work for her. Mallory has big wide womanly hips and thighs, she doesn't have the option to be fat and doughy if she wants to look masculine. Every extra pound is just a big flashing "natal woman" light because it goes directly to her hips and thighs. She will never look remotely masculine as long as she's fat, even if she grew the thick, ZZ top length beard.

The best Mallory will ever achieve, without actual effort in the gym, is the general public just being confused if she's a man or a woman. I think most strangers who encounter her think she's a woman who has an unfortunate hormonal problem that causes embarrassing facial hair and they try hard to be polite about it.

It’s been well observed, but I’ll admit to always being kind of fascinated by how some people’s brains can only manage the most basic & obvious cues and clues about reality. “I have a manly beard. Everyone will see this manly beard and know, in fact, I am a man.” (Insert breasts, skirts, makeup on the flip side.) The problem is, of course, literally all the other thousands of subtle (? Not to me but I guess to some!) indicators are clockable to third parties. Face blindness? Autistic sensory overload? Good ol’ fashioned personality disorder? I’m intrigued by what their brains can and cannot process.
It’s an intense shallowness. They want to believe man/woman is nothing more than a few superficial physical characteristics, nothing more than mere cosmetics.

Social media has been a terrible reinforcement of this delusion. So many troons using carefully posed and styled photos, or just lots of heavy filters, pass or come close to passing. However, it only takes 10 secs of video or IRL interaction to find they don’t really pass at all. It’s extremely obvious what their natal gender outside of a curated frozen image. It also explains why troons tend to be extremely online, they can manipulate reality to suit their fantasies or idealized self image. Pesky reality harms their vanity, but SM totally indulges the fantasy.

(This actually applies to lots of people, SM has become a community of people who wear virtual masks. They rather believe they are that heavily filtered sparkly image on their IG account than what they actually see in the mirror.)
 

Aunt Carol

four-letter word for a female
kiwifarms.net
How the fuck is fat Failory offended by this question when people like this prance around with full beards and facial hair and claim to be women?
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They did this to themselves. If voluntary secondary sex characteristics no longer imply gender, then of course someone has to ask you what that half-ass beard means. Assuming "beard=male" is also wrongthink, after all.
 

Treasure Champs

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Feel like I'm on crazy pills, though, because not even Maya's defenders are picking up on the obvious issues with not quoting the full thing. You don't always have to do the full quote if the meaning remains the same without certain words, but that is not the case here at all. (And that's not even getting into everyone picking the same quote, with the same cutoff, which is clearly picked from one of those press releases activist orgs send out after political events like this.)

Everyone is just so so dumb kill me.
It's a fascinating insight into the caliber of his arguments, isn't it? His normal academic dross is obscured by minutiae about literary theory and deliberate post-modernist impenetrable jargon, but when he takes on an issue in real life it's much easier to see how flimsy his intellect is.
 

MirnaMinkoff

Mama, nobody sends you a turd and expects to live.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
They did this to themselves. If voluntary secondary sex characteristics no longer imply gender, then of course someone has to ask you what that half-ass beard means. Assuming "beard=male" is also wrongthink, after all.
This might be true with the woke folk, but Mallory seems to be particularly annoyed by the nice older ladies who are confused. They want to be polite, and they see the beard, but she's also very obviously a woman. Older people in NY are very accustomed to gay people so I figure these women assume she's just a butch lesbian.

Transmen usually pass a bit better than MTF but Mallory shows even a facial hair and cutting off your boobs don't make people think you're a man. It just confuses them a bit more.

The fact is the only people confused about gender are transpeople. It's clear as day to the average man or woman. Transpeople trying to force "gender confusion" on society isn't going to work no matter how authoritarian they try to get with it.
 

Stupid Sexy Flanders

Feels like I'm wearing... nothing at all...
kiwifarms.net
Transmen usually pass a bit better than MTF but Mallory shows even a facial hair and cutting off your boobs don't make people think you're a man. It just confuses them a bit more.
FtMs who put actual effort in - ie hit the gym - pass better, but just like MtFs they still have to put an effort in because otherwise they become at best genderblobs.
 

Potatis Salad

Criticism, fiction, pastiche, and purest goof <3
kiwifarms.net
Newsflash, our queen "dyke" "lez" "MILF" "bitch" has decided to up the kweer ante by proclaiming himself bisexual:
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Those googly-eyed flab flaps separated by about three hectares of male chest :story:

Meanwhile, Mallory is promo'ing Joe's book on her blog. Is it me or is her enthusiasm somewhat lukewarm?
It has the feeling of a book that’s been carefully assembled from a collection of Toynbee tiles (“Toynbee Idea: In Kubrick's 2001, Resurrect Dead on Planet Jupiter”) by a group of very dedicated nuns — every genre imaginable is included at least once, in the interest of collectivity (but not fairness).
In her review, Mallory provides a quote from the book. This is Joe speaking about Mallory:
“By this time, somehow, he had been elected Mister Trans, which was a title I deeply resented, since I had been nourishing some fragment of transness for decades, whereas Lord Rapid Onset over here gets one weird boner, and all of a sudden he’s the masc Caitlyn Jenner.”
Joe thinks it's so cute and funny to talk about what an asshole he is. This LOL hilarious resentment probably manifested as genuine obnoxious behavior towards Mallory.
 

mrae

kiwifarms.net
In her review, Mallory provides a quote from the book. This is Joe speaking about Mallory:

Joe thinks it's so cute and funny to talk about what an asshole he is. This LOL hilarious resentment probably manifested as genuine obnoxious behavior towards Mallory.
And Mallory refered to that quote as a 'joke'!

I’m still crestfallen that I didn’t think of “Lord Rapid Onset” first, but I do think it’s fair turnabout, since the day we met I interrupted her in front of her students to ask her point-blank if she was gay. An extravagantly inappropriate speech act, only barely explicable by the fact that I had been very taken aback by how immediately I had fallen for her and luckily redeemed by an affirmative answer later in the evening to the question, “Do you want to be my best friend?”
Every part of this is a flashing red warning of someone with a personality disorder.
 

Stupid Sexy Flanders

Feels like I'm wearing... nothing at all...
kiwifarms.net
Newsflash, our queen "dyke" "lez" "MILF" "bitch" has decided to up the kweer ante by proclaiming himself bisexual:
View attachment 2259566View attachment 2259567
Those googly-eyed flab flaps separated by about three hectares of male chest :story:
I think this just signals the next step in his AGP evolution - he's now entering pseudo-bisexuality mode where he'll feel "validated" as a "woman" by getting fucked by a man. But Blanchard was 100% wrong and is evil.
 

Trianon

kiwifarms.net
“By this time, somehow, he had been elected Mister Trans, which was a title I deeply resented, since I had been nourishing some fragment of transness for decades, whereas Lord Rapid Onset over here gets one weird boner, and all of a sudden he’s the masc Caitlyn Jenner.”
Holy shit, the levels in that quote. "I was here first," "you're nothing special," "you'd be nothing if not for me," "you've just got a weird boner," "you're not really trans, like Caitlyn Jenner is not really one of us," "I resent you for always one-upping me just by being yourself."

This book is going to generate levels of discourse we haven't even imagined.

I’m still crestfallen that I didn’t think of “Lord Rapid Onset” first, but I do think it’s fair turnabout, since the day we met I interrupted her in front of her students to ask her point-blank if she was gay. An extravagantly inappropriate speech act, only barely explicable by the fact that I had been very taken aback by how immediately I had fallen for her and luckily redeemed by an affirmative answer later in the evening to the question, “Do you want to be my best friend?”
These people. They are so invested in the idea of "turning" straight people gay that they both turned straight.

What does this remind me of? Old Nicole/Mallory interview.
Tell me about the first time you two met irl (that means "in real life," Dad).
Mallory:
Oh God, it was so perfect. We'd been Internet friends at that point for what, six months? We kept talking about how fun it would be if I came out to visit, and then Nicole bought me a ticket because she makes things happen, and I got on a plane, which I hate doing, and I saw her at the airport surrounded by a bunch of Mormon elders and we just ran to each other, and we knew. We knew the way you know about a good melon.

Nicole: I will never forget it. Mallory is not joking about the into-each-other's-arms airport moment. That visit was definitely our cinematic falling-in-love montage. I feel bad for my husband, who, thank God, loves Mallory and finds her wildly funny, because Mallory and I become the most cartoonish versions of ourselves when we're together.
 

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