Lolcow Grace Lavery & Daniel M. Lavery (Joseph Lavery & Mallory Ortberg) - "Straight with extra steps" couple trooning out to avoid "dwindling into mere heterosexuality"

[3MMA]

Someone deeply insecure about their body.

She has put on at least 40 lbs. Not far fetched to think that, or the shirt was thrown on to hide today’s chub.

She gave up on the gay prep school boy from 1995 look about three months after declaring herself “ Daniel.”

Was that about when the tits came off?
So many troons move so fast.

This woman I’ve known for over 25 year’s caught gender identity religion fever, during covid lockdowns. Shocked the shit outta me to receive a message from her saying, “ been in a whirl about my gender identity etc etc….” That was a year ago. Then, 6 months ago she declares herself to be non binary on SM, then a few weeks ago she chops her tits off.

They often move quick. She was a surprise, as she has usually come across as highly intelligent, plus she’s not a millennial or zoomer. It’s the slightly rarer (I guess?) mid-life crisis type of social contagion, perhaps. Can’t help but think she will regret it one day. May be optimistic, but, was really out of left field in this case.

Mallory was quick, too. What has it been, 2 years a troonette?

The following is circa 09/2019, no t-shirt for Mallory. I could see a claim to having no big body issue, here. Imo, the following photo screams “I have every kind of issue!” You never know, though. The not so phantom boobs hadn’t “regrown” or whatever:


(ETA: will archive later, when not phone-fagging, if anyone cares, & it’s worth archive. I try to lean towards archive everything.)

 

[Trianon]

Ugh. Disgusting shirt, disgusting pose, disgusting people.

Spoiler

Berkeley is pimping old articles.


And after a whole week freaking out over "metaphorical knives" as death threats, the journal Joe edits puts this on the cover:

Archive: The Astonishing Anni tells Joe he's full of it trying to explain this away as totally anodyne.
Highlights:


He is so flagrantly, obnoxiously hypocritical.

 

[Kirkorov]

"What is this TROON word I keep hearing?" he ponders..





Tweet

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

"What is this TROON word I keep hearing?" he ponders..


View attachment 2295803


Tweet

Hi Joe!
Troon is a term that some transwomen who were members of the SomethingAwful forum started calling themselves 2005. It’s because all members of SA were called “goons” so the trannies put their own spin on it.
However the term caught on widely because people assumed it was a portmanteau of trans and CARTOON, because you know so many troons look like cartoon version of women.
Cheers!
Mirna

 

[Potatis Salad]

I'm overwhelmed by the torrent of shite coming from Joe these past couple of weeks. His twitter is just thread after thread of multiple ongoing slapfights, featuring Joe's unique mixture of condescending tone + completely stupid arguments.

Let's just take a small sampling of the barf he has posted SINCE his most recent claim that he was logging off.


On vacation...another table for two.




Joe Lavery, self-declared feminist scholar, can see an argument that this is a feminist meme!

(Question: what is Joe thinking of when he refers to the apparently numerous examples of "feminist evocations of hyperfeminine violence" out there? Like...Kill Bill?)

He receives pushback and oopsie, nevermind the feminist scholar part, now he's just an innocent Victorianist!

I'm not going to screencap it all, but a recent joe interlocutor named Donovan Cleckley wrote a pretty cogent response to Joe's risible suggestion that the "STFU TERFS" meme is feminist. You can read it here (archive) via Thread Reader. Joe's answer to Donovan was a nonsensical nitpick about a simile Donovan used: "[White transbians] bizarrely wear the deaths of mainly Black and brown gay men like a lipstick."

I took the liberty of considering it myself and have concluded that Donovan's simile was in fact quite apt.

Joe attempts his own version of the "STFU TERF" meme with mixed results:

Remember, a terf writes "metaphorical knives" and Joe cries about "violent threats." And now Joe is doing threatening finger guns!!! I'm scared.

Why, Annikusrex? Whyyyy do you keep coming back for yet another helping of hot steaming shit from this imperious prick?


Less than 12 hours ago, Joe vowed to log off Twitter. But he's still slumped over his phone slapfighting away. Enjoy your vacation, Lily! Sounds like fun!

 

[Constellationzero]

"What is this TROON word I keep hearing?" he ponders..


View attachment 2295803


Tweet

Honestly when my wife asked what a troon is, I told her a portmanteau of tranny and cartoon. As in C-L-O-W-N

 

[papaya]

View attachment 2294640

Do... do they understand that reference? There is an iconic scene in Casablanca of the Nazis storming in to and trying to take over Rick's bar while Rick encourages the regulars to sing La Marseillaise over them. These are real tears in the actors' eyes, because the extras were mostly actual French refugees of the Nazi occupation of France. It was one of the most poignant moments of one of the most effective anti-Nazi propaganda efforts in film at the time.

Bragging about ignoring the people singing La Marseillaise is literally comparing yourself with Nazis. I never say stuff like that because Nazi metaphors are seriously overplayed, but it's literally who they're comparing themselves to, so...?

(Obligatory "Are we the baddies" meme)

 

[Ballsack Pussylips]

"What is this TROON word I keep hearing?" he ponders..

:

https://archive.md/pgDOX

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Do... do they understand that reference? There is an iconic scene in Casablanca of the Nazis storming in to and trying to take over Rick's bar while Rick encourages the regulars to sing La Marseillaise over them. These are real tears in the actors' eyes, because the extras were mostly actual French refugees of the Nazi occupation of France. It was one of the most poignant moments of one of the most effective anti-Nazi propaganda efforts in film at the time.

Bragging about ignoring the people singing La Marseillaise is literally comparing yourself with Nazis. I never say stuff like that because Nazi metaphors are seriously overplayed, but it's literally who they're comparing themselves to, so...?

(Obligatory "Are we the baddies" meme)

It’s also just a pathetic try-hard attempt by Lilly to keep up with all the shock value zingers you are required to make to hang around Joe & Mo. I’m sure she was just thrilled that Joe deemed her quip Twitter worthy. I can’t imagine how many saucy little jokes she’s made secretly and desperately hoping she’d get the stamp of approval from Queen Joe.

Mallory will now be feverishly working overtime on her bon mots to impress Joe, bitter that he made such a big deal out of cheap queef joke.

In reality Lilly couldn’t sing a single verse of La Marseille, much less fart it out via her vagina.

 

[Constellationzero]

It’s also just a pathetic try-hard attempt by Lilly to keep up with all the shock value zingers you are required to make to hang around Joe & Mo. I’m sure she was just thrilled that Joe deemed her quip Twitter worthy. I can’t imagine how many saucy little jokes she’s made secretly and desperately hoping she’d get the stamp of approval from Queen Joe.

Mallory will now be feverishly working overtime on her bon mots to impress Joe, bitter that he made such a big deal out of cheap queef joke.

In reality Lilly couldn’t sing a single verse of La Marseille, much less fart it out via her vagina.

Just more Algonquin Round Table horseshit to prove they're all the edgiest and smartest assholes in the room.

 

[Trianon]

Has Joe found a legitimate death threat?


Looks pretty scary. I wonder what this guy was replying to?


...Oh.

...Oh.

 

[pirate holiday]

It’s also just a pathetic try-hard attempt by Lilly to keep up with all the shock value zingers you are required to make to hang around Joe & Mo. I’m sure she was just thrilled that Joe deemed her quip Twitter worthy. I can’t imagine how many saucy little jokes she’s made secretly and desperately hoping she’d get the stamp of approval from Queen Joe.

Mallory will now be feverishly working overtime on her bon mots to impress Joe, bitter that he made such a big deal out of cheap queef joke.

In reality Lilly couldn’t sing a single verse of La Marseille, much less fart it out via her vagina.

Imagine pick-meing so hard for some limp-dicked babushka-looking britbong.

 

[Trianon]

Imagine pick-meing so hard for some limp-dicked babushka-looking britbong.

Lily strikes me as such a Cool Girl.

Gone Girl: Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.

Like, Mallory doesn't get into Twitter fights, but she at least has Trans Opinions that she has voiced that are not Joe's opinions. They argue about it. They're not arguing over anything real, but at least they argue. But Lily has no investment in Trans Opinions and just accepts Joe's word for it. She just kind of knows that fucking trans people is cool and progressive, cooler than being a lesbian was, and now she gets to hear people talk endlessly about Hannibal instead of Killing Eve and she tells herself it's really not that different. I MEAN, I will grant that she mostly seems like the most boring one because she isn't "Very Online," but that's why it's weirder when all she does online is sext with Joe and tell him how very smart he is.

 

[Potatis Salad]

Hey fellas who wants to see some hot "tits"?





Anybody with elderly relatives living in retirement/nursing homes will recognize the type of shoe that Joe's wearing. I believe my grandma and her friends buy them at Wal Mart for $12.

Joe has opted for the Fendi version at $870.

I kinda can't believe our kween bitch MILF lez cunt bought men's shoes:


Speaking of lezzes, Joe clearly gets off on the idea that he's balling a "lesbian." Nevermind that Lily self-identifies as "a lesbian who likes to have sex with men." In Joe's wank fantasies, she is "actually deep lez."


No sign of Mallory yet.

 

[Accept Only Substitutes]

Hey fellas who wants to see some hot "tits"?

View attachment 2300239


View attachment 2300237View attachment 2300238
Anybody with elderly relatives living in retirement/nursing homes will recognize the type of shoe that Joe's wearing. I believe my grandma and her friends buy them at Wal Mart for $12.
View attachment 2300236
Joe has opted for the Fendi version at $870.
View attachment 2300266
I kinda can't believe our kween bitch MILF lez cunt bought men's shoes:
View attachment 2300274

Speaking of lezzes, Joe clearly gets off on the idea that he's balling a "lesbian." Nevermind that Lily self-identifies as "a lesbian who likes to have sex with men." In Joe's wank fantasies, she is "actually deep lez."
View attachment 2300235

No sign of Mallory yet.

Joe's whole outfit (and the outfit if the beast next to him) look like something my 80 year old mom would wear.

For reference she wore a causal black t-shirt with a zebra and a cheetah on it with matching black and animal print cuffed pants and velcro tennis shoes to a close family wedding. The wedding invitations specifically said causal clothes, but oof. She's in the pictures too. She thought she looked great (narcissism at work).

Edited: words are hard

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Hey fellas who wants to see some hot "tits"?

View attachment 2300239


View attachment 2300237View attachment 2300238
Anybody with elderly relatives living in retirement/nursing homes will recognize the type of shoe that Joe's wearing. I believe my grandma and her friends buy them at Wal Mart for $12.
View attachment 2300236
Joe has opted for the Fendi version at $870.
View attachment 2300266
I kinda can't believe our kween bitch MILF lez cunt bought men's shoes:
View attachment 2300274

Speaking of lezzes, Joe clearly gets off on the idea that he's balling a "lesbian." Nevermind that Lily self-identifies as "a lesbian who likes to have sex with men." In Joe's wank fantasies, she is "actually deep lez."
View attachment 2300235

No sign of Mallory yet.

Lol. I knew they were headed to Provincetown. For decades it was a really beautiful, interesting summer enclave for artists, bohemians and the gay community

Now it’s just a vastly overpriced hotspot for vapid people like Joe and Mo to try to attach themselves to the “queer history” of the town and also because they can’t afford the Hamptons and aren’t wanted in Fire Island.

No wonder John Waters thinks the town is being ruined - and he’s been summering there since the early 1970’s.

Joe and Moe seem really bored. They should just embark on a queer credential tour at this point to demonstrate they are definitely not just a straight couple but the most LGBT couple in the history of the universe that have PiV sex.

 

[3MMA]

Joe and Moe

Perfect.

Would Lily & her pubes, be Curly?

Or Larry?

 

[Prescription Bugs]

Perfect.

Would Lily & her pubes, be Curly?

Or Larry?

Doing P-town boozeless and with three middle aged spinsters wearing mismatched patchwork quilts sounds boring. Don’t forget the shriveled estropeen and binned breasts. Sex without the fun bits I guess and all while stone cold sober. Somehow they managed to turn a fun party town into Boringville.


Sad because P town is great as are spinsters usually.