Growing Around Growing Around: A slow moving trainwreck. (General Thread) -

The Worst Growing Around Character?

  • Sally

    Votes: 24 25.3%
  • Linda

    Votes: 2 2.1%
  • Talula

    Votes: 2 2.1%
  • Timmy

    Votes: 11 11.6%
  • Robert

    Votes: 9 9.5%
  • Gumdrops

    Votes: 39 41.1%
  • Other

    Votes: 8 8.4%

  • Total voters
    95

Piga Dgrifm

Where are those good old fashioned values?
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
[Sally and Timmy are in the attic of their house, taking things out of boxes and tossing them all over the room, leading to quite the mess.]

Timmy: How about checkers?

Sally: UGH, that game is so boring... how about we play Snatchemon?

Timmy: But we've already snatched them all. How about we play with Nick Bricks?

Sally: [stares at him blankly] No, no, never, not in a million-bajillion years.

Timmy: Okay... sorry, I asked. How about... [Pulls out a strange toy robot that looks like it was made in the 80's] What's this?

Sally: I don't know. I don't remember buying it. It looks so old... and weird...

[Robert enters the attic]

Robert: Hey Sally, what's going to be for—hey, where you'd find that!?

Timmy: What is it?

Sally: It looks like junk...

Robert: It's most certainly not junk. It was from when I first meant Linda. I can't believe she's kept it all these years...

Sally: Why would anyone keep this old thing? I mean it doesn't light up. You can't do anything with it.

Robert: Well, maybe it's really special to her [he takes it from Sally]

Timmy: How can that be special to anyone?

Robert: How about I just tell you the story behind it.

Sally: Yay, story time!

Robert: It happened back when Linda and I were little kids...

[The camera pans down from the sky and we see essentially Summerway in the 80's, complete with ridiculous fashions, even moreso than in reality considering that kids wear whatever they want.]

Robert: Me and my siblings were on a vacation to Summerway. We had our own business and heard that this town would be a nice place to relax. The job was really wearing us down.

[We see Robert and one of his brothers, Henry, walking through some of the streets. Robert has a book under his arms.]

Henry: Come on Robert, let's do something. I hear that this town has a huge mall. We should really check it out!

Robert: Maybe tomorrow. Look, this is my vacation too, and I just want to relax.

Sally's voice over: Um... Robbie, are you sure that you were ever a kid?

Robert's voice over: Yeah... I just haven't changed very much.

Henry: So come on, let's go and actually do something.

[They start walking through a park]

Robert: Look, I want to be alone.

Henry: You always want to be alone!

Robert: That's because I never get to be alone! Now look, I'm going to sit under this tree right here [he sits under a large oak tree] and get some reading done, and I'm not going to move from this spot until this book is finished.

[the camera stays focused on Robert]

Henry: But Robert, this is kind of important—

Robert: I don't care! Just leave me alone!

Henry: I warned you... (whistles) [walks away]

[A little girl dressed in a cape and showy outfit falls out of the tree and lands on Robert. A couple of coins, brightly colored napkins, and other things scatter]

Robert: (muffled) Get off of me!

Magician girl: Ah! Help me catch those coins!

[She goes running around chasing after the things she dropped]

Robert: Just who do you think you are!?

[the girl turns around and seems to look a lot like a child version of Linda]

Magician girl: I'm Linda the magnificient, greatest magician in Summerway... no, greatest magician in the whole world. [she removes her hat in a welcoming gesture to reveal a pigeon sitting on her head]

Robert: Y—you've got a...

Linda: [looking blankly with a kind of smirky smile] Yes?

Robert: You have a pigeon on your head?

Linda: [looks cross] Well you... [folds arms] got a snake in on yours!

Robert: I do not! [a bright green snake pops down over his bangs] AAARGH!

[He starts panicking and trying to get it out of his air. Linda pulls it out giggling]

Linda: But yours is made of rubber... my pigeon is real. So, I win.

Robert: H—how did you do that?

Linda: I told you, I'm [she flares her cape and glitter dust scatters all around her] Linda the magnificient, greatest magician in the entire world! Ah, I see you're entranced. Here are some tickets to my show

[She hands him two tickets]

Linda: It would mean the world if you came to see my show. Take it as an apology for me falling on you. Still can't get that trick right. And I'll know if you don't go! I never forget a face!

[We cut back to present day]

Sally: Okay, so you're telling me that my stick-in-the-mud mother was something as cool as a magician when she was a kid?

Linda: Oh, it's not that unbelievable.

[The camera pans to see Linda entering the attic]

Linda: I wondered where everyone went. What are you guys all doing up here?

Robert: I'm telling them the story of how we first met.

Linda: Oh, that's my favorite one!

Sally: I'm sorry Linda, but I can't believe that you were ever a magician.

Linda: [puts her hands on her hips] That's because you've got way too much junk in your head?

Sally: Hey, what's that supposed to mean!?

[Linda puts her hand on Sally's ear and starts pulling out brightly colored napkins]

Linda: See you've got all of this brightly colored paper stuff. That can't be good for you.

[Robert and Timmy laugh, Sally looks at the extending papers nervously]

Sally: A—am I gonna need to see a doctor?

Linda: I don't think so, I got them all out, but you might want to do something about those tokens up your nose.

Sally: I don't have any—

[Linda taps Sally on the back of the head and catches a couple of tokens in what appeared to fall out of Sally's nose]

Sally: Stop it! You're scaring me!

Linda: [Sorrowful] I'm sorry... let me make it better.

[Linda picks up the paper, and claps it. When she removes her hands it's an oragami flower. She hands it to Sally]

Timmy: Woah! That was totally amazing!

Robert: You should have seen one of her actual shows. And to think that I didn't even want to go.

[We go back to the flashback, where Robert has returned to his hotel room. He clearly has no interest of going to the magic show, and is about to throw out the tickets when his brother comes in.]

Henry: Hey Robert, I see you've finally finished that book—hey what've you got there?

Robert: Nothing! [he tries to hide them behind his back]

[Henry grabs his arms and pulls them out.]

Henry: You got tickets to a magic show!? That is so cool! Why didn't you tell me?

Robert: Because I—

Henry: Oh, I know! You wanted to surprise me. All of this reading a book nonesense. You're a clever one bro, so when's the show?

Robert: I don't know—

[Henry pulls the tickets completely out of Robert's hands]

Henry: 4 PM. That's like in 10 minutes. We gotta hury if we want to be on time!

Robert: But I don't want to go!

Henry: That trick isn't going to work twice. I don't see how you could surprise me anyway. Are you like her assistant or something? Come on, let's go!

[We cut to Robert looking very bored at a seat in the magic theater. They're really good seats too, near the front of the theater, which is rather packed]

Linda: Hello everyone! [There's a glitterdust explosion and Linda appears on the stage] I want to thank you all for coming tonight. I'm ready to put on a show for everybody! But there's one thing I seem to be forgetting... what was it? Oh yeah... my bird friend...

[She takes off her hat, puts it on the ground, and starts pulling things out. First a chair]

Linda: That's not it....

[She pulls out an anchor]

Linda: So that's where I put that...

[She pulls out a bucket of water]

Linda: Well I was thirsty, but no...

[Some of the audience starts laughing. Linda pulls out a ridiculous looking dress, although it's kind of typical for the era]

Linda: Why do I even have this? It's not even in my size... Ah-ha, here Peeko is!

[Linda pulls the pigeon from earlier out of her hat. It lands on her shoulder.]

Linda: I'd also like to introduce my lovely assistant...

[She takes the bucket of water and pours it on the chair. A grown-up woman is wearing the outfit, and drip-dry]

Linda: Hey mom, how's it going? [Linda puts her hands behind her back]

Linda's Mom: Um good...? So, what did you want me for?

Linda: Oh nothing big really [She pulls a saw out from behind her back] I was just going to cut you in half, [The typical box rolls onto the set] so if you could get in this box please

[Linda looks to the audience with an innocent grin, and there's laughter]

Linda's Mom: Um... do I have to?

Linda: Well, if you don't, then it's no coffee for a week!

[We cut back to the modern day where Sally and Timmy are looking horrified at Linda]

Sally: H-how could you do something so cruel!? I mean... making a grown-up go without coffee... is like making a kid go without candy!

Linda: Well that's just what kids did to their parents back then. But I wasn't really gonna do it! It was all a part of the act.

[We cut back to the stage act]

Linda's voice over: The stuff I pulled out of the hat was from a trap door behind the hat. When I put the dress on the chair, my mother got up through another trap door and popped out hidden behind the water. And she scrunched up and took off the fake leg shells she was wearing when I cut her in half.

Linda's mom: So... hun, are you gonna fix me?

Linda: Hmm... I'll think about it. I kinda like you better this way!

Linda's mom: Well, then you'll have to find another assistant. I can't do much like this.

Linda: You're a silly one, I'll just ask someone in the audience!

[Linda claps her hands and the lights turn off and a spotlight turns on over Robert, and one on Linda.]

Linda: You there! Come on down!

Robert: Hey, what!?

Linda: Ugh, why do they all want to play it the hard way? Alakazam!

[Robert starts floating and gets levitated up to the stage]

Robert: [Angrily] Hey, put me down!

Linda: [Whispering] I really want to thank you for coming. It really means a lot to me [she smiles]

Robert: That's really nice. NOW PUT ME DOWN!

Linda: What's the matter? Don't like flying? Come on, it's fun and easy!

[She levitates into the air]

Robert: When I catch you, you're going to be so sorry for this!

Linda: Come and catch me then!

[She starts soaring around the stage. We cut to see Linda's mother messing with ropes behind stage. She must have snuck out when the lights went down. She's enabling Robert & Linda to "fly" and they do fly in a sort of game of tag.]

Robert: I am so gonna get you for this!

[We cut to later where Robert and Henry are standing outside of the theater. Robert is clearly agrivated for being levitated against his will]

Henry: Oh come on, you've gotta admit that was pretty awesome!

Linda [Appears from nowhere] Yup, I am pretty awesome! I told you, the greatest magician in the entire world!

Robert: Hey, you planned all of that out! You gave me the tickets so you knew I'd sit there! I mean, that's how you kept pulling so many things out of my pockets!

Linda: It's the code of a magician: always have a plan!

Robert: I'm still going to get you!

Henry: Well you two look like you're getting along. I'll leave you two alone.

Robert: Oh so, now you'll leave me alone...

[Henry sticks his tongue out as he walks away]

Robert: Ugh, what is it with siblings?

Linda: Wouldn't know. Don't have any. But if I did, I could make my magic show even more awesome!

Robert: They'd probably tell everyone how you did all your tricks.

Linda: Let's get some pizza!

[She starts running off]

Robert: [Shouting] But I don't know you!

[Linda looks back at him with a smile]

Linda: Well let's change that! I took your wallet by the way!

Robert: You what!?

Linda: Just kidding... maybe. You're gonna have to catch me to find out!

[We cut to them at a restraunt with a pizza with several slices missing, indicating that they've been there kind of awhile]

Linda: And did about these things called arcades? They're like totally awesome. When I grow up and don't have to work anymore, I'm gonna spend all of my time in the arcade and it's gonna be totally awesome!

Robert (internally): I've got to get out of here... this girl is crazy.

Robert: I... have to use the bathroom. I'll be right back.

[Robert walks to the bathroom and panicks, trying to find a way out of the building. He eventually finds the open window and starts crawling through it. He eventually makes it through and falls into a bush below]

Robert: Finally, free. It's time for Robert to do Robert's thing....

[We cut to him at the park reading. It's sundown by the time he finishes reading the book. He's interrupted by the growling of his stomach. That makes him feel a little bit guilty. He's walking down the street.]

Robert: Oh come on. She'll probably just brush it off. Gah, why do I feel so bad about this?

[Robert sees that Linda is still at the pizza place, looking a little sad and tired]

Waiter: Look, I told you that no one's in the bathroom.

Linda: I know, but he said he'd be right back.

Waiter: Whatever. Just keep in mind that we're closing in half an hour.

Linda: Alright... [she turns to herself] I really am the greatest magician ever. I can make all of my friends disappear...

Robert: [To himself] Oh come on! That's not fair. [he makes a hmphing motion] I can't just go in there though. What am I going to say? That I tried to ditch her and felt sorry about it?

Linda: You know I can hear you through this window, right? [She leaves the restraunt] Look, if you found me annoying you should have just said something.

Robert: I never said you were annoying—

Linda: You didn't have to, everyone does... look, I'm going home. Cya later, whoever you are.

Robert: Wait a minute!

[Linda throws more glitter powder on the ground and just completely disappears. Robert is left alone underneath a flickering street lamp]

[We cut to Robert opening the door to a milkshake bar. There's only one other patron there]

Robert: Mason, what are you doing here?

Mason: Well little bro, enjoying my vacation. Come on, I want another double decker banana split with enough caramel to drown a pony!

Robert: I could use one of those.

Mason: Hey, what happened?

Robert: I met a girl...

Mason: Ah, better give him two then!

Robert: It's not like that. I kinda... hurt her feelings.

Mason: So, she live around here?

Robert: I think so...

Mason: That's good. When the vacation's over, you'll never see her again. Problem solved.

[Robert stares at him for a couple of beats

Robert: No, that kind of makes the problem worse!

Mason: Well dude, it's your problem. Why are you asking me about it?

Robert: You're my older brother, you're supposed to give me advice!

Mason: Just buy her chocolates or something...

[Robert stands still for a minute]

Robert: You're no help... [walks outside]

Waiter: So... are you going to eat these?[banana splits]

Mason: Why do you ask questions to which you already know the answer?

[Robert is at an arcade, and talking to the counter guy]

Robert: I just want to chuck plastic balls at things for a couple of hours and be distracted by bright blinking lights.

[He's handed a bunch of plastic balls, and we see him tossing them in a ski ball game. He actually ends up getting a lot of tickets in a short montage]

Counter guy: Well, you've had quite the night. What will it be?

Robert: I'll take that cool looking robot.

Counter guy: Ooh good choice! He did some awesome things in the cartoon!

Robert: Yeah totally, I'm trying to get them all, but once you get close they add three new ones in the next episode.

Counter guy: I totally know what you're talking about!

[Robert starts walking off]

Linda: I've finally got enough for the robot!

Counter guy: Well, someone else just got the robot.

Linda: WHAT? Come on, this day is the absolute worst!

[Robert looks down to the robot]

Robert: Um, no it's not Linda!

Linda: Oh, it's YOU. What do you want?

Robert: I won this for you! [He looks left and right] You see, that's why I left earlier. When you mentioned arcades, I thought that I'd get you a prize!

Counter guy: No you didn't, this is the first time you've ever been in here.

Robert: [Snarky] Thanks a lot!

[Linda is folding her arms and tapping her feet]

Robert: But... he's right. I ditched you, and I really shouldn't have done that. Look, there isn't much I can do but give you this. [He hands the robot to her]

[Linda takes it]

Linda: Thanks for that. But you've given me something even more: a friend.

Robert: But, I'm only in Summerway on vacation. I'll be going back to Loopy Hills soon.

Linda: Oh you'll be back someday.

Robert: How do you know?

Linda: I'm magic silly! Cya later whoever you are.

Robert: My name is Robert!

Linda: [giggles]

[We cut back to present day]

Robert: And that's how Linda and I met!

Sally: But wait, did you ever see each other again!?

Linda: [bluntly] Yes.

Timmy: But how did you find her if you didn't even live here?

Robert: Well, when you meet someone like Linda, you keep on looking.

[Timmy falls over laughing]

Timmy: Wow, that's cheesy.

[Robert looks kind of angry]

Linda: Oh don't worry. He'll find his special someone sooner or later and he'll have his own cheesy stories to tell.

Timmy: Wait, what?

[Linda and Robert laugh]
 
Tags
None

About Us

The Kiwi Farms is about eccentric individuals and communities on the Internet. We call them lolcows because they can be milked for amusement or laughs. Our community is bizarrely diverse and spectators are encouraged to join the discussion.

We do not place intrusive ads, host malware, sell data, or run crypto miners with your browser. If you experience these things, you have a virus. If your malware system says otherwise, it is faulty.

Supporting the Forum

How to Help

The Kiwi Farms is constantly attacked by insane people and very expensive to run. It would not be here without community support.

BTC: 1DgS5RfHw7xA82Yxa5BtgZL65ngwSk6bmm
ETH: 0xc1071c60Ae27C8CC3c834E11289205f8F9C78CA5
BAT: 0xc1071c60Ae27C8CC3c834E11289205f8F9C78CA5
LTC: LSZsFCLUreXAZ9oyc9JRUiRwbhkLCsFi4q
XMR: 438fUMciiahbYemDyww6afT1atgqK3tSTX25SEmYknpmenTR6wvXDMeco1ThX2E8gBQgm9eKd1KAtEQvKzNMFrmjJJpiino