Guntology: A study of the Earth's most grizzled stomach - Discussion of the Gunt itself. What even is that thing??

[AltisticRight]

Imagine being such an absolute cuck manlet that your own child isn't even named after you. Imagine being cucked by nobody.

Imagine being cucked into a platform coded and ran by your biggest fucking archnemesis, and having your (alleged) child you're never gonna meet named after him, while probably having to pay him child support, from the handouts of said platform. This is a cuckception.

 

[macguyver16]

I know I'm entering the realm of Speculative Guntology with this one, but I think I have determined a possible defensive/offensive use for the gunt itself. We can see the spewing of verbal bile Ralph emits on his world renowned Kill Report™ and his Twitter manages to gather a wealth of jannies within the replies or in the chat. My guess is if the gunt manages to get damaged, a massive rupture may occur due to the internal pressure and explode. This will not only destroy the gunt, but coat its immediate surroundings with this bile in a form of mutually assured destruction. This would then summon a massive horde of jannies in an attempt to "sweep up" the damage that has been done.

Due to the increasing size of the gunt, my hypothesis is that the gunt is only gonna get bigger and its presence more pronounced. Therefore, I claim this as its "second stage." I can only imagine what the third stage could behold...

Spoiler: Artist rendition of the speculative third stage

View attachment 2060191

According to a study done by Australian biologists, the Gunt will remain in it's parabolic form, even in Third Stage, due to the subject's need to expand it's perceived height in cases of aggressive response (Harley 1993). The form lends itself, in an evolutionary sense, to expand downwards, as opposed to outwards, giving off an appearance of a longer body.

A great resource on Gunt development is Dr. James O'Shaughnessy's collection of essays based upon years of interaction with this species, within it's natural habitat.

 

[Mr.Downer]

So how does one's belly become two lumps like ralph's? I made a quick doodle to illustrate what I mean. Shit baffles me

 

[MeltyTW]

View attachment 2082292
So how does one's belly become two lumps like ralph's? I made a quick doodle to illustrate what I mean. Shit baffles me

Looks like his leg fat was tooth paste squeezed from his legs into opposite sides of his gut turned gunt

 

[FM Bradley]

The factors required for this particular gunt to have taken this form:

The first is, of course, the sloth and gluttony of the manlet it belongs to.

Second: daily belt-wearing. You'll notice all fat deposits pretty much stop at the waist and cascade over the beltline. Quite frankly, initiating physical combat while wearing jammypants was a bold move. Memphis Ten indeed, my corpulent friend...Memphis Ten. Jammypants usually require a big fat ass to prevent them from slipping off.

Third: you'll notice, in the helpful diagram two posts above, the upward-swooping concave shape of the Gunt Labia . This is, of course, fat deposits that have formed around where a belt buckle would normally be. This is responsible for the unique shape of the Gunt Labia Majora.

 

[StraightShooter2]

I can just imagine Ralph taking a long, steaming dump out of that thing.

 

[RickestRickCriminal]

View attachment 2105624

Gunt, why so smooth?
He should just shave it off and make belly stunts to pay off mama's bills, but NO!!!
He lives to eat, eating himself to death. As Tarski said on... on... on... only J... J... you can improve yourself. You see, Ralph is playing the long ultimate game. He is living his mortal life to the extreme to save the white race. He has planned it out that he is going to be a blind torso, just a gunt. He can be rebuilt better, build back better!!! HAYTURS BTFO RALPHACOP IN THIS BITCH CANT ABORT THE RETORT

 

[macguyver16]

Gunt, why so smooth?
He should just shave it off and make belly stunts to pay off mama's bills, but NO!!!
He lives to eat, eating himself to death. As Tarski said on... on... on... only J... J... you can improve yourself. You see, Ralph is playing the long ultimate game. He is living his mortal life to the extreme to save the white race. He has planned it out that he is going to be a blind torso, just a gunt. He can be rebuilt better, build back better!!! HAYTURS BTFO RALPHACOP IN THIS BITCH CANT ABORT THE RETORT

So he's just going to turn into Kraang?

 

[Shiggy Diggster]

Someone on the ONA forums posted this suspecting that Fat Tomlinson has Cushing's syndrome, but I think the evidence better supports a different pig.

• Weight gain and fatty tissue deposits, particularly around the midsection and upper back, in the face (moon face), and between the shoulders (buffalo hump)
• Muscle weakness
• Depression, anxiety and irritability
• Loss of emotional control
• Cognitive difficulties
• New or worsened high blood pressure
• High blood pressure (hypertension)
• Loss of muscle mass and strength
• Erectile dysfunction

 

[RickestRickCriminal]

Someone on the ONA forums posted this suspecting that Fat Tomlinson has Cushing's syndrome, but I think the evidence better supports a different pig.

• Weight gain and fatty tissue deposits, particularly around the midsection and upper back, in the face (moon face), and between the shoulders (buffalo hump)
• Muscle weakness
• Depression, anxiety and irritability
• Loss of emotional control
• Cognitive difficulties
• New or worsened high blood pressure
• High blood pressure (hypertension)
• Loss of muscle mass and strength
• Erectile dysfunction

Explains the four asses, I still have many questions about how a human gets this type of fat. Why not a normal type of fat like vito (the most normal thing about him) ?

 

[ShadowedBus]

This is a thread where we study Ethan Ralph's Gunt and try to understand as much as we can about a truly fascinating entity. I want discussion on gunt geometry, grease-fluid-dynamics, its biosphere, it's gravitational effects, quantum gunt mechanics etc.

Let's figure out what the fuck this thing is and how it works.


View attachment 1779362

This is a study I am truly interested in. Examining the gunt.

 

[Mr E. Grifter]

Someone on the ONA forums posted this suspecting that Fat Tomlinson has Cushing's syndrome, but I think the evidence better supports a different pig.

• Weight gain and fatty tissue deposits, particularly around the midsection and upper back, in the face (moon face), and between the shoulders (buffalo hump)
• Muscle weakness
• Depression, anxiety and irritability
• Loss of emotional control
• Cognitive difficulties
• New or worsened high blood pressure
• High blood pressure (hypertension)
• Loss of muscle mass and strength
• Erectile dysfunction

View attachment 2165737

View attachment 2165732

Doing a little reading it seems that this syndrome is either caused by prolonged steroid use, or in rarer cases when someone's body has produced too much cortisol (otherwise known as the stress hormone). No clue on the former, but prison could certainly be a trigger for the latter.

I did some extra searching and dug up this: Chronic Alcoholism caused "psuedo"-Cushing's Syndrome.

Personally, I just think Ralph is a fat alcoholic who does little to no exercise - and by exercise I go by Ralph's definition where mowing the lawn is a "workout". Alcohol is full of sugar, and if we go by what Ade says (I wouldn't recommend this) his food intake is not enough to support his weight.

 

[RickestRickCriminal]

Personally, I just think Ralph is a fat alcoholic who does little to no exercise - and by exercise I go by Ralph's definition where mowing the lawn is a "workout". Alcohol is full of sugar, and if we go by what Ade says (I wouldn't recommend this) his food intake is not enough to support his weight.

Is he? The thing he does right after the kill report is stuff his face with coconut cream pies. Corinne showed his studio where we found the box full of coconut cream pies and da gunt is always hungry at the end of every kill report.

Him drinking coke is on par with his alcoholism, a great source of sugar for his gunt where maybe his alcoholism isn't really doing anything because he ramped up his intake of coke (being cheaper might be his reason). Still horrible for a fat man, but it's not alcohol.

 

[Mr E. Grifter]

Is he? The thing he does right after the kill report is stuff his face with coconut cream pies. Corinne showed his studio where we found the box full of coconut cream pies and da gunt is always hungry at the end of every kill report.

Him drinking coke is on par with his alcoholism, a great source of sugar for his gunt where maybe his alcoholism isn't really doing anything because he ramped up his intake of coke (being cheaper might be his reason). Still horrible for a fat man, but it's not alcohol.

Did Corrine show an image of his studio? I've not seen this. If she has fair enough, otherwise I would place her reliability as a notch below Ade's - whose is in the toilet anyway.

That said, either way Ralph is probably 50% corn syrup at least.

 

[RickestRickCriminal]

Did Corrine show an image of his studio? I've not seen this. If she has fair enough, otherwise I would place her reliability as a notch below Ade's - whose is in the toilet anyway.

That said, either way Ralph is probably 50% corn syrup at least.

She grabbed the camera and showed us da gunt crib. His blood has coke-like properties. RIP capillary veins, cutting your legs and hands over Maker's Mark and coke is sad.

Picture of the coconut cream pies

 

[FM Bradley]

She grabbed the camera and showed us da gunt crib. His blood has coke-like properties. RIP capillary veins, cutting your legs and hands over Maker's Mark and coke is sad.

Picture of the coconut cream pies
View attachment 2166707

Didn't he provide us with photographic proof of his predilection for creampies last August?

 

[Big Fat Frog]

Cushing's Syndrome stuff

Honestly that is an interesting tidbit. I wouldn’t be surprised if he does have Cushing’s Syndrome. The symptoms, side-effects, behavior, and physical traits all seem to match up pretty well. Hell, even the fucking diagram looks like Ethan Ralph and his morbidly fucked-up physique.