Guy Fieri- World's Greatest Food Connoisseur, host of Diners, Drive-In's and Dives -

Ponderous Pillock

Welcome to Triple T, Tards, Troons and Trolls!
True & Honest Fan
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What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Culinary School, and I’ve been involved in secret raids on Arbys, and I have over 300 confirmed meals. I am trained in Gorgonzola warfare and I’m the top chef in the entire culinary world.

You are nothing to me but just another meal. I will wipe you out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my words.

You think you can get away with saying shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my network of restaurants across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can cook you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands.

Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed consumption, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States restaurant chains and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your ass off the face of the continent, you little shit.

If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your tongue. You didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
 

The Lawgiver

We all know what happens to alien spies.
kiwifarms.net
There's something about Guy Fieri that I've always found... just weird and creepy. I can't explain what or why. Just... there's something "off" about him.
Maybe it's the fact that he somehow looks unsettlingly similar to steve harwell from smash mouth?
 
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I can't imagine

kiwifarms.net
Guy is pretty entertaining and is really selfless and cool but I ate at his Vegas restaurant once and it was really bad. Either his recipes are trash or he doesn't train/vet his chefs enough.
I don't think he runs the Vegas restaurant; they just license his name and use his recipes, but some consortium handles the actual operations. So it might be him, might be the people running the place.

I went to Johnny Garlic's forever ago (like probably 2008 or 2009). I remember it being alright enough, but not, like, mind-blowing or anything. Of course, that was still relatively early in his "TV celebrity" era; I've heard the food got worse later on.
 
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The Lawgiver

We all know what happens to alien spies.
kiwifarms.net
I'm within a few hours driving distance of one of his restaurants located in a hotel and each time I'm in the area it's closed because it has weird hours. There's a takeout portion of the restaurant that has different hours and I actually managed to catch that place while it was open like twice the past few years or so. It was pretty good both times, though some of the ingredients were strange choices.
 

Absolutego

Middleman who didn't do diddly
kiwifarms.net
The day the early 2000's are the next nostalgic phenomenon, Guy is going to have a massive career resurgence for his sheer dedication to the frosted tips.
Jokes aside, seems like a stand-up dude who would be fun as hell to cook with...once.
 
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XYZpdq

fbi most wanted sskealeaton
True & Honest Fan
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I recall watching Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives sporadically. Had some interesting stuff sometimes.
 
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