Lolcow Hailey Schumacher / HaileyKittydoesart / Haileykitty69 - Violent and very degenerate baby that's a Skinner Simp. Now with 50% more underaged Speds defending her

How long until Hailey flips her shit

  • Total voters

Jan 12, 2020
@Coelacanth helped rewrite almost the entire op so shout-outs to them

Meet Hailey – a nineteen-year old DA womanchild from New Jersey who is into ABDL, force-feeding, pissing, kids shows that attract lolcows and has an extremely unhealthy obsession with Seymour Skinner from The Simpsons. Now, DA spergs are a dime a dozen, but what sets Hailey apart from others is her incredibly volatile nature.

Anger Issues and Feeding Trolls
Ohh believe me, she doesn't just feed the trolls. She gives them entire buffets. -@Calooby

Hailey of course talks big but like many speds she never has the goods to back things up. She’ll threaten to dox, stalk, maim, kill and even rape the trolls and people who say bad things that hurt her extremely sensitive feelings or when she doesn’t get her way no matter how old or young they happen to be. Even calling other people retards themselves when she has no room to talk







A notable example of her ire would be an autistic slap-fight she got into with a fourteen year old kid, who at the time was between 11 and 12 who simply poked fun at how angry she was acting in youtube comments.





Another user who became the target of her fury was another DA tartlet who didn’t like a certain ship from the Loud House – a show mainly known for having manchildren as their primary audience.


Similarly, she butt heads with someone who was just trying to make a joke on her art regarding the posing.


She also clashed with Payton900 – an infamous DA troll who got banned a few months prior to this OP being written. Hailey got so angry that she decided the best course of action she could take was making “hate art” (AKA: a poorly edited screencap), calling him a nazi and demanded his dox.




Even the official Fox Animation twitter account was not safe from Hailey when The Simpsons was cancelled for a baseball game on TV. Later supplemented by being pissed off at NASCAR for delaying the Valentine’s specials due to bad weather. Not even cancelled, delayed.



It is quite clear that Hailey is incredibly mentally disabled – though what she specifically has isn’t known yet – but whatever it is has only fueled her chimpouts and inhibited her ability to ignore the trolls and stop feeding them. She has mentioned that she is on pills as well as going to therapy but if they happen to be medication for anger management then they’re not working.




Some newfags may’ve read this so far and think that it would be a great idea to go over and troll her to make her angry. We ask that you don’t do this less because it’s a rule here and more because it is way, way funnier if the cows come here and defend themselves of their own volition – that is how some of the most entertaining threads on this site start.

Hailey’s Art


While her art skills aren’t as bad as other Tartlets, Hailey’s creative works usually involve Skinner being subjected to her ABDL, spanking and piss fetishes. She’s also into crossovers that involve most of the autism magnets like Sonic, MLPFiM, The Loud House and more recently, Friday Night Funkin.







She also ships Skinner with Fluttershy – a literal pony. Nobody seems to know why she does this.





The last picture is particularly noteworthy because these two abominations are meant to be fan kids. Apparently Hailey likes the idea of Skinner having sex with a horse.
She has also gotten a plush of Skinner made based on her artwork of him.

Hailey is also a "writer" (putting that as loose as possible) – and of course most of her stories revolve around Skinner, her fetishes, crossovers and self-inserting herself into Simpsons episodes. She has no grasp on the basic rules of writing and most of her fanfics are usually large paragraphs with little grammar, spelling and punctuation. Even the short poem she wrote about anti pedos breaks every single rule:


The Bad DA Art Twitter Chimpout

A piece of Hailey’s piss fetish art made its way to BadDAArt – a twitter blog dedicated to posting and making fun of the garbage autists and fetishists (like Hailey) post to DA. Hailey was not happy about this and had a meltdown in the comments – even gaining support from one of her asspatters who has since deleted their tweet.



She even tries to justify that it isn't something she drew to fap to as well, AND IS STILL GOING ON ABOUT IT


The Porky Minch Hateboner

Hailey has made it quite clear she hates Porky Minch – a primary antagonist from the Earthbound series. Hating Porky is nothing special but Hailey seems to miss the point of him being in the games to begin with – even wishing that Nintendo remove him entirely as a result of some rule 34 of him making its way into an Amino she's a member of.


Other people began to take note of this chimpout and one autist decided to have a little fun at her expense by posting a picture either they or one of their friends drew of Skinner getting buttfucked by Porky.
Of course Hailey didn’t take it very well.


“And I Just Won!”

Much like CWC himself Hailey has been featured in the news.


It was this news article that confirmed that Hailey is disabled as well as clues about her mental age from the gifts she got.


Ironically the article described her as “deserving” of this special attention which could very well have been something that contributed to her spoilt, self-entitled attitude.


Cow Crossovers
As of 5/12/20, Hailey has since heard of the thread and is Assblasted about it, which caught the attention of another cow, Dementica and are being ass mad in the comments together

Even pedophile extraordinaire Chibiyama couldn’t stand her at one point but now has rescinded the comments sympathizing with the bear raper.

Cheers love, the Tardalry is here!
By now Hailey has made several posts decrying the Farms – all of which has mostly resulted in other tartlets coming to give her asspats and coddling her. However some users on DA thought it would be an incredibly smart idea to join the forums and tell us all that bullying a disabled girl for no reason is bad, m’kay? Of course a whiteknight flood is nothing special, but that’s not what happened this time.

What we got was an autistic tidal wave.

First was @Mr-Watzit-Tooya - a friend of another tartlet we were discussing called Safa-GamerQueen. She made her thoughts about us known before proceeding to go under as a lurker.



Second was @LumpyMoose who specifically came here to defend Hailey.



It soon became painfully clear why LumpyMoose was attempting to protect her – his DA gallery reveals his boner for Reverend Lovejoy – another character from the Simpsons. Birds of a feather, flock together.


He’s also been talking with Mr-Watsit about us in one of Hailey’s multiple posts screeching about the Farms.


Finally there was @AnonChan – who at first claimed she was a friend of Hailey’s. Her attempts involved trying to justify Hailey’s behaviour and asked us not to cause drama.




But everything went nuclear after this post was dropped.


At long last it seemed Hailey herself had decided to take the fight to us. She said that she was only there to tell LumpyMoose to stop, yet instead chose to contact him here instead of privately messaging him on DA.



The Farms reacted accordingly.
Hailey did everything to try had make herself look like the victim – from calling us terrible people all the way to threatening to kill herself.




As of now she’s either ragequit, gone to bed or her carers/parents finally heard her autistic rage screeches and took her away from the computer. But she’ll be back – be it using her AnonChan account or another sock. It is only a matter of time.
@Verypissedoffaunt might be her aunt or another sock account who won’t hesitate to prove documents about herself and said that I get off to “harassing her niece” when she really needs to read through the entire thread.


Hailey has the same sort of energy one would find in classic lolcows like Manda-Tee, Pre-Troon Chris-Chan, Nate Spidgewood and others. She is a prime example of what happens when you let a mentally unstable adult with the mind and attitudes of a child loose on the internet. Lord knows what kind of meltdown will happen should (or perhaps when) she discovers she has a thread here.

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Last edited:

Medical Hawaii

Whatever it is, I'm against it!
True & Honest Fan
Jan 9, 2020
I know, I'm still going through the status updates and the like. See if theres anything there. Anything else I should try? Nothing comes up when I search the username
You're just searching the username? You have to do more digging than that. Either way, if that's all you can come up with, maybe there's just not enough of their content on the Internet to warrant a thread.


Total dyke tbh
Dec 1, 2020
She looks like she could be an interesting cow, but you're going to need a lot more than what you have so far. Finding some more screenshots of her being a lunatic would be a good start. The art section is pretty well done, but tossing in a few more pictures could help.

You should also remember that not every potential cow needs their own dedicated thread. You could always put her in the Rat King general thread instead once you've touched up the post.

Jan 12, 2020
She looks like she could be an interesting cow, but you're going to need a lot more than what you have so far. Finding some more screenshots of her being a lunatic would be a good start. The art section is pretty well done, but tossing in a few more pictures could help.

You should also remember that not every potential cow needs their own dedicated thread. You could always put her in the Rat King general thread instead once you've touched up the post.
True. Her status posts are a source


Total dyke tbh
Dec 1, 2020
So, I did some perusing and she really reminds me of Manda. Guess the universe decided that world needed two of 'em. Here's what I've found in her gallery so far:
She seems to be very prone to chimping out and posting weird shit, as evidenced by her status posts.
And finally, we have her Twitter (it's Haileykitty69), which is where most of her chimpouts take place.
To be honest @verygayFrogs , there's so much milk on the DeviantArt page alone that I'm wondering why you were even looking at other accounts. I haven't even combed through the rest of her galley. Your post would've been a Hell of a lot better if you actually looked at her entire page lmao.

And no, I'm not screencapping any of this lol :story:


Christian Rock Group Repentence Tour
True & Honest Fan
Feb 11, 2017
I was pretty certain someone on here would find her eventually and appreciate her god-tier lulziness. I've debated making an OP on her for quite some time but I've lost interest in her these days.

I think one thing you could use to help sell this blooming cow is the fact that when she was 17 she was saying she wanted to kill a boy who I believe was 11/12 around and people were just a nudge appalled by her: I saw this was already archived 4 hours ago so I imagine people have already gotten to work.

Some more things are in regarding to her interactions with trolls, she's threatened to rape them, murder them, etc. One even once told her that they were the "Bart Simpson to her Moe Szyslak." Shockingly the reference completely went over her head despite being an adamant Simpsons fan.

Best of luck on the thread lad. Cheers!

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