Artcow Half-dude / Ian Knau - Car Fucker

[The Oddball from MLW]

Do you remember the first car you owned? If you do, it was probably some cheap Honda or Toyota with 80,000 miles on it. Now imagine that you fell in love with your first car, now you have Ian Knau, or half-dude.

Spoiler: Neckbeard reading to his car

This guy is literally in love with his Hyundai Accent, and he tends to express it in very unique ways

Spoiler: car with breasts

He also goes into excessive detail about car reproductive systems, but I doubt anyone wants to see that, or his cornucopia of other fetishes. But seeing how no shit is too minor

Spoiler: NSFW: spergy fetishes and whatnot

But now let's move onto what he has done. Shortly after the Cringe Channel discovered him, he decided to go and make an account to try to explain himself. Here's a link to the page with screenshots of his forum posts:
http://www.cringechannel.com/2015/07/06/picture-a-man-who-loves-his-car-to-a-sexual-degree/

 

[Philosophy Zombie]

I remember this guy. He has (or had) a girlfriend who is attracted to planes and made horrible plane porn. How he got someone willing to be in a relationship with him is beyond me, but still.

 

[Zim]

That's some weird stuff right there. A lot of people get attached to their car at some point but this dude totally anthropomorphized his. At least if you're going to go head over heals for a car make it something other than an Accent. Go foreign and way out of your price range!

 

[Frank Rizzo]

....Too obvious a joke?

 

[Cynical]

Ten bucks says he posts a NSFW video of his dick in his car's tailpipe sooner or later.

 

[Johnny Bravo]

I remember this guy. He has (or had) a girlfriend who is attracted to planes and made horrible plane porn. How he got someone willing to be in a relationship with him is beyond me, but still.

Beggers can't be choosers.

Moar content:
DeviantArt: http://half-dude.deviantart.com/
Furaffinity: http://www.furaffinity.net/user/half-dude/

 

[vittek]

Well shit.. I drive an old Hyundai Accent and this guy now makes me feel bad about it.

 

[The Oddball from MLW]

Found him equating gay marriage to his car fetish.

Spoiler

Hey all,

Just heard it on the radio while I was eating, pretty crazy how all sudden it all changed at least to me.

So congratulations to all my furry lil' gay friends, you finally got the rights you guys always should have had. I only feel bad for all the people who were gay during the 70s and 80s, hopefully they can find piece now at least. I just smirk thinking about all the southern assholes that are gonna be forced to marry "them faggots" the fury on their faces is going to be just palpable.

Hopefully someday in the far future (being realistic here) Objectum Sexuality will have even a remote amount of this public acceptance, at least we don't have a 1000 year old book of fairy tails saying anything about not being able to marry machines.. so I guess we kinda have a head start. <: ] I think the problem we have right now is just the fact that many people I don't think even know we exist. XD

I'd started a drawing a few days ago for no real reason. It was to be 'the ultimate taboo,' a male Chevy Camaro and Ford Mustang that are gay lovers. <3 The 'taboo' being not only that they're gay males, but that they're also legendary rival cars. I wasn't so sure I'd ever finish it, but I'm thinking maybe I'll try and finish it up tonight and get it up as a sort of celebratory piece.

 

[John Furrman]

terrible

 

[Piga Dgrifm]

He's an objectum-sexual.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Object_sexuality
http://www.objectum-sexuality.org/

 

[Sczylak Madgar]

"Deviation" is such a perfect description for this thing.

 

[Piga Dgrifm]

 

[Sczylak Madgar]

Also, by the way, I had that car model, once upon a time. For those wondering, that's a second generation (1999-2003) Hyundai Accent. Not only that, but it's a shitty 3-door type Hyundai Accent GL (likely from 2000), as noticeable from the "fangs" (I have no better way to phrase this) in the grille.

So, not only is he sexually attracted to a car, but a car that is the equivalent of a 50 year old crack whore. Sasuga Half-dude.

 

[Johnny Bravo]

As weird as he is he doesn't seem like such a bad guy. His artwork is pretty decent, too, from a technical standpoint.

I actually hope this guy comes around. At least he might be more interesting to talk to than cricket girl.

 

[Lady Cobra]

Sad, I think he could use his artwork to actually design new cars if he really put himself to it.
But he chose porn. Really, really weird porn.

 

[creamyfanta]

Sad, I think he could use his artwork to actually design new cars if he really put himself to it.
But he chose porn. Really, really weird porn.

His art is pretty good and he seems knowledgeable about cars and car parts.

Plus I cant hate anyone who is a Brave Little Toaster fan.

 

[shinimasu]

I always wonder why these paraphilias always seem to be co-morbid
Like it's never /just/ anthro cars fucking. It's anthro cars, AND vore AND inflation AND something else that on its own would be strange but unremarkable but no it's never just one fetish it's all of the fetishes all the time.

I mean single target galleries exist definitely like that guy who draws nothing but really swollen knees. But more often than not if someone expresses one weird kink there's usually a laundry list of other equally weird kinks that combine into a humongous kink sandwich. Why does this happen?

 

[Strelok]

I always wonder why these paraphilias always seem to be co-morbid
Like it's never /just/ anthro cars fucking. It's anthro cars, AND vore AND inflation AND something else that on its own would be strange but unremarkable but no it's never just one fetish it's all of the fetishes all the time.

I mean single target galleries exist definitely like that guy who draws nothing but really swollen knees. But more often than not if someone expresses one weird kink there's usually a laundry list of other equally weird kinks that combine into a humongous kink sandwich. Why does this happen?

There's two anwsers. The first answer is a multi paragraph essay about what children are exposed to as they reach puberty and what stimuli gets confused and mentally associated with sexual pleasure by their developing brains. As they mature these tend to form more and more mental linkages. But that answer requires like, actual research and citations so fuck it.

The easier answer that means I have to put less effort in is "Because Autism."

 

[superthermite]

When I first discovered this guy I didn't think he would actually be trollable, but of course he went and responded to a year-old thread about himself to defend his tailpipe clogging fetish.
This is what he uses as "evidence" that his car wants to fuck him:

I had a friend who had an electrical problem in his car that made the dashboard dials flash like that. He drove it for a few miles, after which it overheated to the point where the engine warped and oil and fuel got in the cylinders. If he doesn't get his car checked out, he's probably killing his only lover, lol.

 

[Johnny Bravo]

When I first discovered this guy I didn't think he would actually be trollable, but of course he went and responded to a year-old thread about himself to defend his tailpipe clogging fetish.
This is what he uses as "evidence" that his car wants to fuck him:

I had a friend who had an electrical problem in his car that made the dashboard dials flash like that. He drove it for a few miles, after which it overheated to the point where the engine warped and oil and fuel got in the cylinders. If he doesn't get his car checked out, he's probably killing his only lover, lol.

Okay, that is pretty hilarious.