TRULY AND HONESTLY DOSENT GIVE A DAMN
Well shit call it the day where you get pitty hombre but you could change your name then try contracting. Ive done private security. Long hours dangerous conditions but great pay.Hello Kiwis.
Now don't get to excited, I'm only popping in to say some things that I'd wished I'd gotten said before going silent. I just recently saw a couple deviantart troll accounts comment on my art there, and from experience those only happen usually when something's been said here and I get a day or so attention again. Not surprisingly I'm right! So why not say those things now while the thread has attention drawn to it again anyway..
It's amusing that even Farmers admit that the way I was treated at my last job is bullshit, probably boarderline illegal. I thought I'd clearify that yes it is as absurd as first assumed.. there's nothing I did to make my firing more justified. I literally made a post relating to myself being OS, and the next day I was fired for it. They claimed it was because multiple coworkers saw it and were made to feel uncomfortable and what's why. To which I say.. well you should be finding some thicker skinned employees if that's the case. But I know what the real reason is, it was saving face. They're incredibly image conscious with their perfect little track record and I was simply seen as too risky to keep around.. plain and simple. I'm now sitting on an HVAC schooling certificate I worked my ass off on trying to make something of myself that's a useless piece of paper..
I was able to replace Lilly's struts myself, as you guys have said, I know that she's getting to the age where it's a dam you're trying to patch, but what else can I do? If someone you love is sick you'd do anything you can to help them wouldn't you? I know you wouldn't agree to Lilly deserving the care a person or pet would but that doesn't really matter in the end its how I feel. I'm holding back the tide so far, I'm very mechanically proficient and have done all repairs myself, where I probably would have spent thousands on her so far I've probably spent hundreds instead doing the work myself. She's worth every cent though.. sorry... I love her, and I care about her.
I don't want you guys getting excited as I don't plan to post regularly again. To be truthful I enjoyed most of my time here with you all shooting the shit. I said it before and it wasn't to make myself just sound tough and unphased, but I actually enjoyed trash talking back in the day with you guys. I saw it as a perfect little exchange. You guys get someone to poke fun of, and admitedly.. I was using it as exercise, teaching myself how to have a thicker skin and deal with being picked it. Someone in my position is probably bound to have it in real life at some point, so why not pracise on it online ahead of time you know? Hear all the possible insults that some of the internets most talented trolls could think of so that I can better deal with it in the future because I've heard it before you know?
When I lost my job things became real for me. I was on my way to becoming a productive member of society, to finally making something of myself. Then in the course of 24 hours that was taken away from me, all that invested time. I had a lot of time unemployed then to sit on the fact that I have to try and get myself back on the horse again, all while having "Ian knau Car Fucker" be the top result under my name in any google search. Do you know how hopeless that makes looking for work feel? Any effort into searching, interviewing, and making phone calls possibly being made pointless with one inevitable employer's google search on me. That's why I left here, I saw no good that could come from giving the thread further hits and attention, and I'd just hope it would fall down the search results after awhile. Its obvious that's never going to happen now, I'm just hopefully fucked..
I can see how a site like this can be useful, when it comes to exposing truely harmful people such as pedophiles and the like. At the end of the day I'm just an average guy trying to make it in the world like any of you, hopefully making something of myself someday, the only thing that that seperates you and I is that I like to fuck cars in the privacy of my own home. On the surface I'm completely normal, I'll leave the fact I was employed somewhere for 8 months with a secret that'd get me fired all along as testiment to that. Anyway how many of you don't have something odd you enjoy in private? At the end of the day I don't understand how its something that I deserve to be outed for like some predator for. Take your hits at me online all you want, I accept that, someone being open online like I am needs to be. But leave it at the door when it comes to my actual life you know? Anyway that's why I confided in Null to remove my name from the thread title, and why I left once I was denied.
I guess if anything you guys do HAVE incentive to do change the title, because honestly if this thread was just about poking fun at my online alis Half-dude I'd be all on that.. I'd come back and participate with you guys like the good ol days. I know a lot of critism gets thrown my way for not being smarter online. I should have hid my powerlevel, I shouldn't have put my real name anywhere where it could be found, I shouldn't have been stupid enough to talk about my car shit on my real Facebook. Hell I shouldn't have even been stupid enough to friend anyone from work. But you know what? Congratulations guys, you've educated me, you've shown me why that's the case, as well as my firing showing me how dangerous being out in the open about your real self is and I've made efforts to improve myself in those areas.. you've gotta get burnt by the stove to learn that a stove is hot you know? A perfect example, my real name was found on my Deviantart, which was an account I created when I was a little kid who didn't know puting my name online was dangerous. My point is this.. you can't blame someone for failing at the rules of the internet when they were never told of them until after the fact anyway.
The irony is that because of this threads existence I can no longer take actions to hide my powerlevel. Having the alis Half-dude was a big measure, and this thread now links that name to my real self with a simple search of either name, and at this point I can't even change my name as neither art sites allows it. The shitty thing is that now that you guys have shown me how important it is to be anonymous on the interent is, I now can't take the knowledge into practice.
Last thing. I wanted it to be known that the Yesa person Null showed himself fighting with through email months back assuming it was me, wasn't me. I'd told the guy, a friend and fan of my art, about my concern over my name being in the thread title that he saw it to try and take actions himself. I'd like to think you guys have a little higher opinion on my intelligence then to think I'd outright insult and goad Null like he did. Frankly I had no idea what the guy was saying to Null until he said "sorry" and sent me a screencap of what happened.
So yeah, that 'buying a domain of my name' wasn't even deserved because I literally had nothing to do with it.. he can check the IP addresses location it was emailed from and see.. so anyway thanks for that I guess...
Anyway off I go again... bye.