Ever since I introduced you turbospergs to Demigod I've been itching to do something like it again, hence this fucking wall of text. So unless you're a faggot living under a turd, or a Gen Z retard baby who is too young to remember anything important that ever happened, there's a videogame that you've probably heard of. It's called Halo 3. Now if you're a heterosexual with a job and a wife and children (literally nobody on this site) you probably have no idea what all the hype with this game was about because it's just a game where you hop around, shoot fuckers, and get yelled at by 10 year olds while their mothers scream at them in the background. But fuck you, it got great reviews, sold like crack, and ruined the lives of millennials by gluing them to their TVs and preventing them from seeking employment with the local pizza place or even their weed dealer. That's how you know it was probably a good game and you should have played it. Why the fuck didn't you play it? I didn't play it. It doesn't matter.
Due to the fact that Microsoft is historically the worst group of mongoloids when it comes to making good business decisions, they never released Halo 3 for PC. In fact, when they bought the publishing rights for Halo way back in the day, Microshits were intent on never letting their Windblows users touch their Halo baby other than a one-time release of Halo 1 and a terrible PC port of Halo 2. Thus, instead of a full-fledged Halo 3, they released some F2P piece of shit to the world called Halo Online and withdrew it shortly after. The dumbest part? They only released it to the Russian menace. Fucking colluding traitor, that Microsoft.
If you download Halo Online now, it doesn't work because it's region locked and it has no servers to connect to. But some no-life faggots (who I love and appreciate) discovered that the game contains a bunch of leftovers from Halo 3 and is the best (only) functioning port of Halo 3 to PC, so they began to mod the fuck out of it so you can have your terrible Halo 3 multiplayer on PC.
Enter the El DewRito mod (yes that's what it's fucking called and it's a great name fuck you) that brings the Gaylo 3 anus-tonguing experience right to your fucking computer. It is sponsored by Mountain Dew and Doritos to ensure quality (it's not sponsored by either company fuck off).
So you might be wondering: "skiddlez, how do I be a massive piece of shit and kill people in knockoff Halo 3 online?" Holy shit faggot, it's fucking easy. First you need to find a site that rhymes with THE PIRATE GAY. It's a site for bearded faggots. On that site, search for "Halo Online ms23" and download that piece of shit. You can't play it so don't try to, you need to mod it first.
To do so, once you have Halo Online ms23 downloaded, open the Halo Online folder. It should be the folder that has eldorado.exe in it (GET IT? NOW YOU UNDERSTAND WHY THEY NAMED IT EL DEWRITO HUE HUE HUE). Download version 0.6 of El DewRito and extract it. You will see updater.exe and updater.exe.config. Put these files in the EXACT SAME FOLDER as the folder that contains eldorado.exe. Run it, and let it update.
Now I swear to fucking god this fucking shit takes a million goddamn years so let it run, go watch some porn and fist your anus or something. One eternity later after verifying, downloading, installing, and then verifying again, it will be finished. Once it verifies the first time, it needs you to hit download and then everything beyond that is automated, so after the first verification you can go masturbate.
After you're done jerking off and the 0.6 update has installed, you need to download patch 0.6.1 here. There's a folder called mods and a file called mtndew.dll in this patch, which need to be placed in the same folder that has eldorado.exe and your updater.exe. Copy those two things into that folder and when it asks you if you want to replace/overwrite, click yes.
And that's fucking it, are you fucking proud of yourself?
And then you can start it up by launching eldorado.exe...
...it's Halo 3 on PC for no moneys, run by the community.
My gamertag is xXAlcoholicSemenThrower69420Xx come join me.
Gameplay + more info:
Due to the fact that Microsoft is historically the worst group of mongoloids when it comes to making good business decisions, they never released Halo 3 for PC. In fact, when they bought the publishing rights for Halo way back in the day, Microshits were intent on never letting their Windblows users touch their Halo baby other than a one-time release of Halo 1 and a terrible PC port of Halo 2. Thus, instead of a full-fledged Halo 3, they released some F2P piece of shit to the world called Halo Online and withdrew it shortly after. The dumbest part? They only released it to the Russian menace. Fucking colluding traitor, that Microsoft.
If you download Halo Online now, it doesn't work because it's region locked and it has no servers to connect to. But some no-life faggots (who I love and appreciate) discovered that the game contains a bunch of leftovers from Halo 3 and is the best (only) functioning port of Halo 3 to PC, so they began to mod the fuck out of it so you can have your terrible Halo 3 multiplayer on PC.
Enter the El DewRito mod (yes that's what it's fucking called and it's a great name fuck you) that brings the Gaylo 3 anus-tonguing experience right to your fucking computer. It is sponsored by Mountain Dew and Doritos to ensure quality (it's not sponsored by either company fuck off).
So you might be wondering: "skiddlez, how do I be a massive piece of shit and kill people in knockoff Halo 3 online?" Holy shit faggot, it's fucking easy. First you need to find a site that rhymes with THE PIRATE GAY. It's a site for bearded faggots. On that site, search for "Halo Online ms23" and download that piece of shit. You can't play it so don't try to, you need to mod it first.
To do so, once you have Halo Online ms23 downloaded, open the Halo Online folder. It should be the folder that has eldorado.exe in it (GET IT? NOW YOU UNDERSTAND WHY THEY NAMED IT EL DEWRITO HUE HUE HUE). Download version 0.6 of El DewRito and extract it. You will see updater.exe and updater.exe.config. Put these files in the EXACT SAME FOLDER as the folder that contains eldorado.exe. Run it, and let it update.
Now I swear to fucking god this fucking shit takes a million goddamn years so let it run, go watch some porn and fist your anus or something. One eternity later after verifying, downloading, installing, and then verifying again, it will be finished. Once it verifies the first time, it needs you to hit download and then everything beyond that is automated, so after the first verification you can go masturbate.
After you're done jerking off and the 0.6 update has installed, you need to download patch 0.6.1 here. There's a folder called mods and a file called mtndew.dll in this patch, which need to be placed in the same folder that has eldorado.exe and your updater.exe. Copy those two things into that folder and when it asks you if you want to replace/overwrite, click yes.
And that's fucking it, are you fucking proud of yourself?
And then you can start it up by launching eldorado.exe...
...it's Halo 3 on PC for no moneys, run by the community.
My gamertag is xXAlcoholicSemenThrower69420Xx come join me.
Gameplay + more info:
