Happy Krampusnacht - And Krampus is at your door.

[Outer Party Member]

Today is Krampusnacht in Austria. On this festive occasion, children are visited by the half-goat, half-demon Krampus for a bit of fun. They are beaten and put in a bag, never to be seen again.

This year, Krampus comes to your house, threatening to put you in his bag. He says you can plea your case, here and now, not to be taken away.

What do you say?

 

[Frank D'arbo]

Pray that inside the bag is death and jump inside

 

[A Useless Fish]

If I rat on all of the other kids I know who do worse, will you spare me?

Also, chances are even if the answer is 'no' I'll still rat on them all. If I am going to Hell, then I'm taking as many fucking people down with me as possible.

 

[Pozzingmyfilthyneghole]

I'm not negotiating with terrorists.

 

[TheCapybara]

I tell him that he's a fake construct created by unenlightened sheep to scare their children into compliance, and that I don't believe in him or any other fake, meaningless god in this cold, uncaring universe, then fall asleep with a smug smile on my face like le edgy nihilistic atheist I am. But nah, I sell out all the other naughty kids in the hopes that he'll fuck off and leave me alone.

 

[Coelacanth]

Invite him inside for some tea and cake and discuss the terms for my freedom. England's got a lot of bratty, uncontrolled and self-entitled kids so I'm sure his night has been very busy and he could use a break.

 

[Nekromantik]

What if I leave HIM cookies and milk instead of Santa? I can always buy presents I want for myself. Using the milk and cookies to bribe Krampus seem better, and it's one less house Santa has to go to so he can get home earlier.

 

[UE 558]

Tbh, I probably deserve his punishment for being a furry degenerate, so I'll just let him take me

 

[Coldgrip]

Say: "Come on in ya big galoot. I haven't seen you in years! How's the missus doing, she still pursuing that degree in botany?"

We then have a nice time catching up.

 

[Iä! Iä!]

Krampus is St. Nicholas' bitch and no matter how much I fucked up in my youth, the old guy would always pull some strings so I would end up with sweets instead of in the furry's bag.

 

[DragoonSierra]

You eastern Eastern Europeans have some strange Christmas reindeer

 

[Night Owl]

In my country, kids dress up as krampuses and beat the shit out of other kids with chains.

I think you Americans could use some of that.

 

[gachacunt]

Fuck him.

 

[8777BB5]

I was always taught he was the Grinch's evil brother. Never realized he was a furfag construct

 

[omori]

Tell him little kids is old news. He should keep up with the times and collect lolcows instead.

 

[Zach_Kun]

I’d fuck him