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Hello my Brothers and Sisters of the Holy Farms, LLC.
Let us open this thread with a quick performance from Brother Hoy,
Holy Ghost Dance
Praise be.
1. The Minister
Harland Hoy is an 83 years young
God gave man the Bible before books were invented, dumbass, therefore the Bible has to be fake. God gave the Jews a thicc ass scroll to carry around the desert telling them what to do. Jesus came and fucked the scroll-printing industry and Satan wants to bring legalism back through the hip new tech from Harlan's youth: books.
It's a little more thought through than that, but not by a lot. "But," you may ask, "how do we know about Jesus and Christianity if the book it's predicated on is Satanic?" Jesus just fkn talks to you dude. Open your ears. This video is newer and the one that encouraged me to share their testimony with this holy congregation. Read the description of this video below. They are answering questions from a
This truth is so powerful that few dare tell it. The interviewer has dropped off the radar, so we edited him out of this video. Jesus voice will be heard again in the land. No one is more hated than he who speaks the truth. When a well packaged web of lies has been sold gradually through time to the masses over generations, the truth will seem utterly preposterous and it’s speaker a raving lunatic. It’s easier to fool people than it is to convince them that they have been fooled. This truth will free you to seek for the Living God in the Spirit and to truly KNOW GOD instead of just knowing ABOUT HIM. The GOSPEL is NOT written with ink, nor on tablets of stone, but on our hearts by the Spirit of the Living God. The gentiles who have not the law, do by nature the things contained in the law, then they are a law unto themselves. Under the New Covenant we are to be led by the Holy Spirit, not the bible. I was searching for truth when Jesus told me, "The bible is an idol" which completely changed my direction. After that I only sought for Him in the Spirit and He has taught me many things on life's journey. The most important of which is that He died so we could be regenerated by the Holy Spirit into sons and daughters of God. The gospel is simple, repent from living after the flesh, ask Jesus to fill you with the Holy Spirit and then be led and controlled by Him through the Spirit. The bible is only history and has absolutely no authority from God to control us, the outward law was under the old covenant. Jesus died to redeem us from the curse of the written law because we were unable to keep it. Have a great journey through life with the Living Christ guiding you. When Jesus words are written down and Satan is using them, then the bible becomes the word of Satan. Constantine (1st) beast compiled 50 bibles, legalized Christianity and set up the false prophet (pope). King James (2nd) beast, born 6/1566, 6th of Scotland, authorized a bible in 1611 that now has 66 books to control people with, an image of God's word they make to speak (the bible says). By having faith in the bible which has been made into an idol, they break the new covenant of having faith in the Living Christ through the Holy Spirit, who is the true word of God. THE BIBLE IS THE MARK OF THE BEAST Ask Jesus -Yeshua for the Holy Spirit.
Oh yeah, he cries a lot. At 8:40 on the above video you will see him begin crying through the sheer passion of his message. Just keep watching. If the unwavering conviction of his delivery doesn't move you in the Holy Spirit, then I hope it moves you to close this tab. This is powerful stuff guys. I would have an altar call but God doesn't want to hear about your degenerate thoughts.
2. The Ministry
So, we've got a guy who has a ministry, a BIMOB hat, his much younger brainwashed ride-or-die side piece (He's 83 and she's 65, having married when she was young), and a Youtube channel. Like every good Lolcow, he has a small yet dedicated following. Yes, his followers do post videos. These True and Honest fans of his comment back and forth. The comments alone should warrant their own threads, but I'm going to leave those for the treasure hunters out there to find. He comments and responds to people. His primary demographic is people too crazy and religious for flat earthers but he wants to reach the children. He has a twitter, Tumblr, and website where he has his book posted. He is more active on Youtube, but these are all ways he interacts with his followers in Christ.
In case you've been wondering what the clothes are all about and what BIMOB means, just close your eyes and wait for Jesus to tell you. If you're in an area with poor 5G reception or haven't recieved your COVID shot(s) yet, then read on.
BIMOB stands for "[The] Bible is [the] Mark of [the] Beast." It's a super catchy acronym that you can count on all your fingers on a single hand - they love doing that. It's an important message. BIMOB is the message we should be taking into every church, school, and courthouse. You can also see it written clearly on what appears to be a kitchen apron. They wear these in almost every video - and its clear they have many pairs. It is believed they make it themselves, but if someone knows where to buy official BIMOB merch then DM me immediately.
Below is a small collection of videos uploaded by BIMOB disciples. Yes, they exist, and there are dozens of them.
The one thing I've never understood is why none of them refer to themselves as BIMOBs. I just spoke with God and he told me that is how they are to refer to themselves. Weird.
3. The Side-Piece
Now, I don't know this woman's name. I'm not sure anyone does. Either by accident or intentionally, her name does not appear to have been mentioned anywhere. Don't be fooled - Harlan is a faithful man who does not go out shindiggin' with the shindiggers. By my calculations they have been married for an unironically impressive 45 years. She is the Tails to Harlan's Sonic. The Robin to his Batman. She is in every way the Jungian archetype of the submissive side character. You can repent for your jealous thoughts at the end of this sermon. She was born in Arizona and is sitting at a healthy 65. She met Harland at a good ol' fashioned tent revival, where Harland seemingly confirmed a message she had received from God: Reading is hard and rules are dumb. She has remained slightly behind him with a thousand-yard-stare ever since.
So you're an up-and-coming prophet who knows that the Bible is Satanic. How do you fight a book? If you answered "with another book," then you are retarded and correct. It's no chick tract, but it is available for free to read here.
For being a couple of hippies who think written rules are too oppressive, they love their dogma. Sticking to his Appalachian roots, Harland does not believe in going to the doctor or taking medication. Celebrating holidays is paganism, but being patriotic and nationalistic is fine because Jesus personally told me to Make America Great Again™.
Have you ever been so anime that you killed God? Ask Hoy, and Constantine took all three-in-one of our Heavenly Father behind the shed and put him out of his misery in the year 313 with the family shotgun. He did this by accepting Christianity and allowing the written dogma to travel. Then there's King James. Any True and Honest Christian knows that the KJV Bible reigns supreme in all of the firmaments. Harland hates how popular the KJV Bible is and believes that King James is the second beast from Revelations because of this offense.
5. The Altar Call
OK so let's recap:
- Christian man burns Christian Bibles
- Jesus literally speaks to him and he talks into the camera as if interviewed
- Hates Catholics, Muslims, Mexicans
- Trump Enslavement Syndrome
- He has 10+ years and 1k+ videos on Youtube
- He has a small community that he will occasionally interact with
- This community is small but has their own exceptional content from time to time
All I ask is that you share your findings to help further our collective research and ministry.
I don't really know how to preface this but I would be doing a disservice to not recommend this final video
Let us join together with Brother Harland as we recieve the Holy Communion
Many of his videos begin with an original song cover.
Title: War with Mexico
Title: Hell Fire & Nuclear Power
Title: Four Kings
Title: Stealing Israel's Heritage
Title: The Goddess Diana
Title: Obama Trapped Trump
Locate your local congregation here:
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Contact (bibleismarkofthatbeast@gmail.com)
Thank you for attending my sermon, the tithing baskets will be passed around shortly. May Null guide you and keep you. Amen
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