Just once. We were bored teenagers and decided to drive around the neighborhood and steal people's Christmas displays, because it was Feburary and if you still had your plastic Santa decorations out you deserve to have them stolen. Got caught by the equally bored suburban cops. Didn't really get in trouble since I was a minor, just had to sit through a meeting for first time offenders, I was the only person in the room who wasn't there for shoplifting.
Same here, but they also tacked on a charge of me having an air freshner hanging under my rear view mirror and called it "obstruction of vision" or some shit like that, so now i just hang my air freshner where the radio is.
Yeah, actually happened a month or so ago. I was tripping on fentanyl and meth and the cops picked me up while trying to buy some chicken with a 20 dollar bill I made with crayons. Obviously I told them to suck my dick and started flailing at them so they wound up putting me in a knee chokehold until I calmed down. Ever since then I have been sitting here in the county jail and paying the janitor to post on kiwifarms for me.
Wonder if anything interesting happened these past few weeks while I've been in lockup...
Once a couple years ago. Sleeping off a few beers in my (PARKED, OFF) car like Rayshard and get woken up three hours later by the cops. Charges were dropped because they couldn't prove I ever even did anything.
Many times, but I have never been found guilty of any crime.
I once told a deputy "look; this ain't my first rodeo. Ditch the sarge and we can elope. Betty means nothing to me, you're the one I love" she giggled and told me to shut up.
Another time I was in the drunk tank alone, I kept trying to talk to the watchman/guard, he cut the lights off on me and warned me if I kept it up he'd turn the sprinklers on.
Once, when I was a teenager, for shoplifting. My "friends" lied and said it was all my idea, so I gave their addresses to the cops and they got arrested after me. LOL, fuck them if they thought I'd go down without taking those bastards with me.
Edit: I forgot to say that I didn't have one girl's address so I told them her full name and she got arrested at school which was fucking hilarious and she deserved it, to be honest.
I almost got arrested once because an asshole that owed me money wanted to own me for daring to say he was a terrible boss. The policemen felt terrible and didn't want to take me to the station.
This guy (31) had hired me (19 at the time) to create paintings and curate art in his "gallery", but he payed me lemons and insulted me regularly, not to mention he made me do janitor duties without extra payment.
One day I was venting to my dentist (of all people) and didn't realize my phone had accidentally dialed my boss's number, so the guy heard everything, he dialed back immediately to fire me.
So I went the next day to pick up my stuff and the guy was nowhere to be seen.
But I was able to recover most of my materials (he didn't even provide most of the stuff needed, only the canvases) I also took a painting that was made under the understanding that it was my property untill he payed full price for it, given that he was unable to pay me properly anymore.
Days later I realized I had left my easel there and went to recover it, I put one leg inside the gallery and grabbed only the easel, and left.
The guy immediately comes off running screaming that I stole his painting, and when I ignored him he called the police and accused me of trespassing.
So I was scared, crying, my parents were there, not calling an actual lawyer or anything and making everything worse.
The police felt so bad they didn't even lay a hand on me and aside from actually listening to my full story, the offered a shoulder to cry.
At the end I signed a paper that said I wouldn't accuse him of labor abuse (no written contract, no proper payment, verbal abuse and etc.) if he dropped the charges.
My parents still felt the need to scold me and I was left so disappointed I abandoned painting for a decade.
So I learned 2 things:
1- don't be a retard
2-shop owners can sue you from entering a store with public access.