I was in Subic Bay, Philippines back in the 80's during a deployment and got wicked food poisoning. I was sick for 3 days and spent 2 of the days in sickbay. After I got well enough to stand, I went drinking with my buddies. Deep into the night, I started feeling like I was going to shit my pants, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I started up the steps to hit the bathroom at this bar and by the time I hit the last step, I thought I wasn't going to make it. I ran into the bathroom, which at the time had attendants hustling jarheads for tips for foul-smelling cologne, soap, etc.. I asked for some toilet paper, and the dude rolled off like 8-10 squares, I threw him a couple of bucks for the roll...I made it to the throne and released the fury from within my bowels. About 2 minutes into the purge, the fucking power went out in the club. I actually thought at the time I was bleeding out, or my bowels had ruptured, and was dying right then and there. The lights came back on, and I left that shitter completely maxed out. I washed up, walked out and lived to tell about it..