Having a partner/intimacy/love/sex. Is it important to happiness? -

ReflectiveSand68

kiwifarms.net
I was curious to hear your thoughts on the predominant view of culture and society that having a partner and exchanging intimacy, love, and sex is an important part of happiness. As Joseph Campbell said, one look at Abraham Maslow's "Hierarchy of Needs," (a good reflection on conventional views on the matter) with sex, comfort, physical security a higher priority than meaning, purpose, fulfillment and actualization, and this describes someone who has nothing to live for.

Most people would find it strange, regrettable, worthy of judging or at least pitiable if someone had never been been casually active or in a relationship before and didn't have any plans to for the foreseeable future. Views on this have altered throughout history of course, but predictably they usually take extremes. Saint Paul saw complete celibacy as the higher ideal, and marriage (the only alternative in pure Christianity) a compromise between a weak man with God of sorts. And from Greek stoics to Buddhists, the religious celibate or monk archetype has usually found a place in just about every culture and society.

I really don't want to get into this too much by using such terminology since it could distract from the point, but I do think that MGTOW/White Pill (as an answer to "inceldom") ideology is interesting to consider for this subject matter. Since it's an example of how internet culture has both responded and influenced the phenomena of present-day men who decide to simply embrace being alone. I think this is interesting because of course men who are perpetually single and don't necessarily get a lot of external social interaction or validation are going to find themselves on the internet all the time. I think this is also relevant to Kiwi Farms culture, as many such people, whether they are males, females, or of course that type we all know that decided to make themselves a bit harder to pin down, find themselves becoming lolcows.

Then there's the fact that some men find solace on the internet for the first time who have previously only faced social rejection from most peers or women in the past. I've never been in a relationship but honestly never felt that I was "lacking" as a result of it. I'm convinced that this pressure, and the view that someone who is single and content with being alone for a long period of time is an arbitrarily imposed fixture of society with little bearing on reality. I can be a passive observer, and I was always more inclined to notice how relationships caused people grief before I did happiness. (not that it isn't both.) And I've also seen that how much sexual activity some was or was not bearing had no bearing on how positive, friendly, or happy someone generally was. (...and if it seemed to make them more relaxed it was only momentary and untrustworthy.) I plan to be in a relationship one day, there's just no rush for it. I find it interesting how society seems to pressure and rush people into one, toward no end really but conformity or possibly just encouraging people to have kids and become one with the grid.
 
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A Pox

kiwifarms.net
Unless you are a priest, yes, it is important. God made woman so man wouldn't be alone and even Jesus had a close platonic confidant in Mary Magdalene.

I'm more of a passive observer, and I felt I always saw relationships caused people a lot of grief.
This is the most gay nigger view of life imaginable. "Something seems hard so it must be avoided" Grow up. Everything worthwhile in life is hard.

Go overseas and find a nice Catholic girl if you're too autistic to land an American girl. There's plenty of homely girls looking for somebody that won't cheat on them or beat them.
 

Coh

Don’t you dare diss my waifu
kiwifarms.net
It’s typical for most people, me included (despite never being in a relationship myself). People want intimacy in their life and the eventual hope that they may create new life themselves. It’s only natural to go out and look for someone else to love and cherish so that they may achieve this end. However, if you find happiness in being single and giving yourself to the world in other ways that may not be life giving but are still conducive to the flourishing of you and society, go on ahead. People have this idea that personal fulfillment and the goods of everyone else are at odds with one another, but in Classical philosophy and in Catholic and Orthodox theology, they aren’t opposed. In order to live the best life you can live, you have to live with others and love them as your brothers and sisters. As humans, we are social animals. To separate human flourishing from the community and make them opposed is the beginning of the biggest mistakes of modernity. It’s why both Locke and Hobbes are wrong: man by his (or her) very nature is never really alone. He (or she if you like) is always bound up in the community of other people and relates to them ultimately to achieve his/her destiny. That’s why people get married (so they can create and educate the next generation) and why if you remain single, you’ll be looked at weirdly if you aren’t contributing to the community since being by yourself is against man’s nature.

Incel: The Thread
It’s only really incel-tier when they want to only have sex , hate women and are/or extremely violent. If they just don’t want to be in a relationship, that’s something else entirely.
 
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Anti Pedo Action

If you disagree with me, that means you're a...
kiwifarms.net
Humans are social animals. We generally crave the acceptance of our peers. Being in a relationship is effectively the ultimate form of acceptance. [speaking from a man's perspective but swapping the genders generally applies in mostly the same way] It means that a woman decided that you are worth dedicating large amounts of time to make happy, they're happy making you happy, they want you inside of them, and they potentially want to spend the rest of their lives with you and bear offspring. And that's not even to mention that a high quality GF is (more than) somewhat of a status symbol among men. Getting with the girl of your dreams means the girl of your dreams has deemed you worthy of them getting with you.

There are people who can be happy alone. Celibates are seeking some sort of higher goal, usually some sort of religious purpose (religion's a joke, fite me irl). There's also prominent examples like Tesla who didn't give a fuck about women and was more enthralled by his work. this is a commendable feature, but it's also arguably robbing our next generation of the progeny they will never have. In other cases, people who are legitimately happy being alone are probably some sort of mentally ill. The whole "embrace being alone" shit just sounds like a massive cope to me. People who talk like that are probably internally bitter about it but refuse to let the cracks show.

I feel for incels; I really do. Im not talking Elliot Rodger types who are clearly narcissistic sociopaths, but the kind of people who simply want love and to make someone else happy but can't find someone who will take them up on the offer. It sucks that they don't get to have something so basic as human affection. And furthermore they're treated like a laughing stock at best or a potential mass-murderer at worst precisely because of the unfortunate hand they've been dealt. Such is life I guess.
 

NOT Sword Fighter Super

"Cheerleeder" of Slapfights
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Only fools rush in?

I feel for incels; I really do. Im not talking Elliot Rodger types who are clearly narcissistic sociopaths, but the kind of people who simply want love and to make someone else happy but can't find someone who will take them up on the offer. It sucks that they don't get to have something so basic as human affection. And furthermore they're treated like a laughing stock at best or a potential mass-murderer at worst precisely because of the unfortunate hand they've been dealt. Such is life I guess.
Speaking of the supreme gentleman...
 

ZombiefiedFerret

Itchy. Tasty.
kiwifarms.net
I'm convinced it's an arbitrarily imposed fixture of society with little bearing on reality
I find it interesting how society seems to pressure and rush people into one, toward no end really but conformity or possibly just encouraging people to have kids and become one with the grid.
Imagine being so autistic that this is how you view relationships.
 

Miel67

PFurrie and MAP hater
kiwifarms.net
I guess yes, especially with the huge support my mom's fiancé has gotten from my family.
My mom has stated to him multiple times that "he has lots of family supporting him."
 

Duke Nukem

Leader of the Anti-Chad Extermination Squad
kiwifarms.net
Unless you are a priest, yes, it is important. God made woman so man wouldn't be alone and even Jesus had a close platonic confidant in Mary Magdalene.



This is the most gay nigger view of life imaginable. "Something seems hard so it must be avoided" Grow up. Everything worthwhile in life is hard.

Go overseas and find a nice Catholic girl if you're too autistic to land an American girl. There's plenty of homely girls looking for somebody that won't cheat on them or beat them.
Sorry to break it to you incels but your "based tradwife" or real life version of your anime waifu doesn't exist, and even if they did they wouldn't be into smelly obnoxious neckbeards and racist shitposters.

Also to answer OP, honestly I think lonely nerdy guys suffer from grass is greener syndrome. Your partner is more than likely going to cheat and break up with/divorce you once a Chad or especially a Tyrone comes into the picture. Or you could enter a poly cuckold arrangement, but sharing a fugly SJW cat lady with a handful of other dork losers shouldn't be one's objective, I don't think.
 

Ped Xing

!Bigfoot! sightings please call 908-314-7784
kiwifarms.net
There are good women to choose from, but you have to be the sort of guy good women will choose.

There is a time hack, because almost all the good women are snagged by 30, and no good woman is going to marry a guy old enough to be her father.

TLDR if you're a single male at 40 just give up. The only people who will marry you are awful for one reason or another, no matter how much you've developed your jaw muscles.
 

Blue Fanta

kiwifarms.net
every time i've had a relationship end even under non-acrimonious terms it's resulted in catastrophic changes in my life. the last time i broke up with a girl i ended up having to move all the way back to my mom's house states away, because she pressured me into moving to the city she was going to school in, and only a year later she left me and told me i needed to pack up. the time before that, i had to help my ex move out of my place, which she helped very little with resulting in me injuring my foot in the process. ever since the last breakup i've refused to commit to anyone let alone try to share my life with them. it simply is not worth it to attempt
 

A Pox

kiwifarms.net
Sorry to break it to you incels but your "based tradwife" or real life version of your anime waifu doesn't exist, and even if they did they wouldn't be into smelly obnoxious neckbeards and racist shitposters.
I have one and she overlooks my retardation on the daily because we're the same age with the same life goals. There's no giant age gap or skewed view of life.

Look in other countries besides Japan, Korea and the Philippines. There's hope for even the most clueless loser.
 
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