Having Fun with Mad Libs -

[Stratomsk]

So because of my friends I discovered one of the greatest things that probably everyone else knows about. Mad Libs. For anyone that doesn't know, they are basically a phrasal template word game where one player prompts others for a list of words to substitute for blanks in a story, before reading the hilariously insane tale aloud.

Here's a sample @Wolfenmaus did.

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Biggus Diccus Pimpleicious,

Will you let me transcend your flamingo? Ever since I have laid nipples on Franklin, I have pooped madly in love with her. I wish that she will be the crocodile of my Jews and that someday we will mug happily ever after. I have a dragon dildo as a/an Hippie Magician Pimp that pays $47 each month. I promise to punch Franklin with kindness and respect.

Sincerely,
schmooze Shaniqua.

These stories are so simple and yet amazing in how utterly stupid they can manage to be. Its like Shakespeare got drunk one night and after passing out had one of the most profound fever dreams ever imagined by mankind.

Here are several websites where you can fill one out:
http://www.madglibs.com/index.php?page=1
http://www.redkid.net/madlibs/
http://www.wordblanks.com/

Have fun, and remember to note the template the story is based on!

 

[Abethedemon]

Romeo and Juliet
Two Gods, both alike in dignity,
In fair Gorm-Hadoth, where we lay our scene,
From ancient Pillar break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
A pair of star-cross`d Temples take their life;
Whole misadventured piteous overthrows
Do with their Void bury their parents` strife.
The fearful passage of their Eldritch love,
And the continuance of their parents` rage,
Which, but their children`s end, nought could Sprint,
Is now the 666 hours` traffic of our stage;
The which if you with Batrachian Esophagus attend,
What here shall Devour, our toil shall strive to mend.
Very Lovecraftian if I do say so myself.

 

[Olhelm]

Erhem:

Medical Questions And Answers!


PATIENT: Doctor, whenever I stand up I get a furry pain in my bone. Is this serious?
DOCTOR: Sounds as if you have an inflammation of your vulva. You need an anti-appendix shot.​

PATIENT: Doctor, I'm thinking of having my schlong removed. Is this an egocentric operation?
DOCTOR: No, the operation is quite anomalous, providing you have horny kidneys.

PATIENT: What are the symptoms of an overactive dong?
DOCTOR: High mercury pressure. Also, severe anuses in the abdomen.

PATIENT: Doctor, is it possible for a 42-year-old man to have an eyeball attack?
DOCTOR: Only if he doesn't watch his smegma and eats too much elephant.​

 

[Stratomsk]

Superstition.
Although we believe ourselves to be especially civilized, most of us are really cats at heart, because we still believe in spooky superstitions that began while humans still lived in space. Some of these superstitions are:

1. If you spill salt, throw some over your left weenis for smexy luck.
2. If a black Cop Dog runs in front of you, you are in dog trouble.
3. If you bust a nut, you will have 42 years of delicious luck.
4. Never fly under a ladder.
5. If your butt itches, it means you will have a phantasmical visitor.
6. If you want to keep vampires away from you, always wear snausages on a string around your dick.

 

[Philosophy Zombie]

The Monster

I was on a cis scum trip, when suddenly I found myself mansplained in the safe space ! I heard an ABLEISM and the truscums came down. I was trapped ! ' YES ALL WOMEN ' I screamed at the top of my shitlords. Then I saw the monster. He had cis men all over his penis (DOES NOT MEAN IT'S A MAN. GENDERS ARE NOT DETERMINED BY GENITALS) and was 10 feet tall, with privileged skin and whitewashing people of Color hair. It was a transmisogynist sight to behold ! I watched in horror as it demolished everything I had brought with me, including my tent and food. I triggered from it as heteronormatively as I could, but I still heard the problematic thud of the thing running after me. I got an idea - I reached into my pocket and grabbed my internalized racism. I threw it at the monster, and it hit one of its vulvas (DOES NOT MEAN IT'S A WOMAN. GENDERS ARE NOT DETERMINED BY GENITALS) . While it fat-shamed in pain, I hid behind a Gamergate. After a few minutes of silence, I looked over my shoulder. I sighed with relief and headed back to wymyn-only space where I knew things would be normal.

A War Story

It was 2015, I was a trans-binary foxgender otherkin for the tucute army. We were about to objectify out for the battle that came to be known as the intersectional kyriarchy of wymyn-only space. I was all packed up with cissexists, truscums, and a cisnormativity. When it was time to rape joke, I heard my chief mansplainer gender non-conformed, " RAAAAAAPE! RAAAAAAPE! PATRIARCHY!"
We checked my privilege to our catcalling microaggressions, and were culturally appropriated after (numbers are ableist) hours of gender-policing. We had to be toxic, and sexually invalidated behind problematic deathfats. autisticlatin@.tumblr.com, a Transethnic Transabled Latin@ Autismgender Genderqueer Woman of Color, lifted his internalized sexism and was hit by an enemy privileged shitlord. My transmisogynist privileged healthist shitlord fat-shamed, Health at Every Size and we all eye raped, marginalizing transmisogynists at them. A homonormative explosion went off in the distance, fetishizing people of color and transphobes everywhere. Rape culture demisexual godkin were slut-shamed, and we were starting to lose the trigger warning. Just when we thought it was all over, my whitesplainer called in a secret weapon : The LGBTQIA++ trans erasure. When it was male privileged onto our enemies, we could see multiple system transtrenders internalizing racism everywhere, and we could hear them call out, The only diagnosis I'll accept is GENDER EUPHORIA! and Gender is a social construct! We all oppressed, because we had won. All of the radfems belonged to us.

 

[Handsome Pete]

Greetings, Earthlings!

"In the book War of the Busted-Ass Trombones, the main character is an anonymous wine-swilling bastard who records the arrival of Canadian Battlehogs in Hottflap County. Needless to say, havoc reigns as the Canadian Battlehogs continue to turbosnork everything in sight, until they are killed by the common ball o' band-aids."

Mad Libs is one of the only games where weed makes you better, and for that I will always love it.

 

[Picklechu]

Can I Have Your Daughter's Hand?

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Ahuviya CisScum,

Will you let me shit your shit? Ever since I have laid maws on Pixyteri, I have tasted madly in love with her. I wish that she will be the can opener of my ducks and that someday we will flush happily ever after. I have a dildo as a lolcow that pays $7_4 each month. I promise to eat Pixyteri with kindness and respect.

Sincerely,
Mansplain Brianna Wu

 

[Trombonista]

Whenever "liquid" comes up in MadLibs, my sister's first suggestion is always Pepto-Bismol.