Hellboy (2019) - The David Harbour one

[Catgirl IRL]

So I enjoyed this a lot!

My only experience with Hellboy is the Del Toro films so any relevance to the comics is lost on me, but other than a few wooden actors this film was a guilty pleasure. Lots of gore (although it's hard to shake the feeling they were holding back...), decent music, and Baba Yaga's big ol' saggy titties on full display.

Sasha Lane and Milla Jovovich were awful though. Flat characters, stilted dialogue...the film is very much carried by David Harbour, who has a neat take on the character - he knows he can't outdo Ron Perlman, so aims for a less mature, world weary take who's still trying to figure out where the fuck he stands in the world. Has some brilliant exchanges with Ian McShane.

My one real dissapointment is that despite being two hours long, the film feels like it's in a bit of a rush and bounces all over the place apparently scared of letting anything breath. There was, in particular, some AMAZING monster design during the film's climax - coupled with some surprisingly visceral violence inflicted on innocent people - but, again, they're kinda pushed through and don't have time to build any real momentum.

Its an odd one. Getting murdered by the critics, so I doubt we'll see a sequel.

 

[UE 558]

I hear that this is a movie that feels like it was probably good in its directors cut, but ultimately got raped in the editing room

 

[Chin of Campbell]

...Milla Jovovich [was] awful...

Inconceivable! Milla Jovovich? A bad performance? Pah!

 

[queue-anon]

So I enjoyed this a lot!

My only experience with Hellboy is the Del Toro films so any relevance to the comics is lost on me, but other than a few wooden actors this film was a guilty pleasure. Lots of gore (although it's hard to shake the feeling they were holding back...), decent music, and Baba Yaga's big ol' saggy titties on full display.

Sasha Lane and Milla Jovovich were awful though. Flat characters, stilted dialogue...the film is very much carried by David Harbour, who has a neat take on the character - he knows he can't outdo Ron Perlman, so aims for a less mature, world weary take who's still trying to figure out where the fuck he stands in the world. Has some brilliant exchanges with Ian McShane.

My one real dissapointment is that despite being two hours long, the film feels like it's in a bit of a rush and bounces all over the place apparently scared of letting anything breath. There was, in particular, some AMAZING monster design during the film's climax - coupled with some surprisingly visceral violence inflicted on innocent people - but, again, they're kinda pushed through and don't have time to build any real momentum.

Its an odd one. Getting murdered by the critics, so I doubt we'll see a sequel.

It didn't feel rushed to me so much as it felt like they were trying to pack too much shit into one movie. Extending it out to three hours might have helped a little, but then the movie would have felt like it would never end. If I still wore a watch, I would have been checking the time about 20 minutes before the end

Spoiler: when

they unbury Merlin

It was also at that point that I started to get concerned about them wrapping the story up in such a short amount of time.

Jovovich has never been a good actor, and Lane seemed to be there for diversity points. I don't mind forced diversity when they make good casting choices, and, if they really felt they needed a mixed-race character, Hannah John-Kamen would have been a much better choice. Among other things, she has a much more interesting look

Spoiler: for someone...

who talks to ghosts

 

[NOT Sword Fighter Super]

I'd be willing to give this movie a shot.
I'm typically sick of superhero shit, but this is different enough where I could still enjoy it.

 

[The Iconoclast]

Most of the movie was Hellboy getting his ass kicked tbh, it wasn't really fantastic to me

David Harbour is always fun to see though.

 

[Y2K Baby]

Give me the comic books.

 

[StarkRavingMad]

I've heard the movie is bad, but also nowhere near earning the title of being called one of the worst comic book movies ever?

I dig the Hellboy comics and was told that this movie tried to cram in, like, 8 different storylines from the comics. LOL. Yeah, color me shocked about that not working out.

I've been told that there's some good gore in this movie, at least? I've heard about the Baba Yaga scene and it being fascinatingly offputting (in a good way, if you're a horror movie fan)?

This is definitely going to be a "wait for Netflix or Prime" movie for me. And I, like so many others, wish that we had gotten a Hellboy III instead. I don't think that Del Toro's Hellboy movies are perfect, but they are a ton of fun, and the visuals are so lively, creative, and spectacular. I rewatched Hellboy II a handful of months ago, and was reminded how delightful it was. Underrated.

 

[Gustav Schuchardt]

Funny review of Hellboy (2019)

 

[Goodbye Horses]

Most of the movie was Hellboy getting his ass kicked tbh

So pretty much like the comics then?

 

[The Iconoclast]

So pretty much like the comics then?

I wouldn’t know, but I was kinda expecting him to go around, kicking ass and taking names. I was disappointed that he wasn’t.

 

[Rand /pol/]

More like Hellsoy

 

[skellig58]

I'm just looking forward to seeing Ben Mother Fucking Daimio be a bastard. He was my favorite BPRD character. I quit following the comics after... well spoilers for comics:









He dies.

 

[Gustav Schuchardt]

Identity politics/Hollywood PR outlet The Stylist weighs in

https://www.stylist.co.uk/people/mi...boy-criticism-bad-film-reviews-critics/262386

There’s no point denying it: Hellboy is in box office hell.

The movie – which sees Stranger Things’ David Harbour take on the titular role of a demon who switches satanic allegiance to protect humanity from evil – has only mustered a measly £9 million at the box office in its UK weekend. And it’s been savaged by critics, too: some called it “instantly forgettable”, while others branded it a “loud gory mess”.

With such damning words ringing in her ears, you might expect Milla Jovovich, who stars in the movie as Blood Queen Nimue, to make like so many other actors and do her best to distance herself from the project.

Jovovich, though, isn’t like other actors. Sharing a selfie on Instagram, the Resident Evil actresss wrote: “It’s always stressful on opening weekend and @hellboymovie is no different. You work super hard to make something fun and entertaining and have to absorb the negative reviews by movie critics, but hey!

Jovovich continued: “All I’m gonna say before going to bed is this: All my raddest films have been slammed by critics. It’s fucking hilarious. Dazed and Confused? Seriously? Classic movie. The Fifth Element! You would have thought that was the worst movie ever made if you read the reviews in like ‘98. Zoolander? Slammed. Joan of Arc? Disaster. Resident Evil? Let’s not even go there.

“Anyway, every one of those films is now a cult classic. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. And this will be too. Mark my words.”

Jovovich went on to say that Hellboy’s “amazing actors” – including Harbour, Ian Mcshane. Daniel Dae Kim, Sasha Lane – will help the movie stand the test of time.

“They are all so damn wonderful and talented, the movie is worth seeing just because they’re in it, especially one that’s so much fun to experience as this is,” she said, before piling praise on Mike Mignola (“who created the #Hellboy comics, helped write the script and was on set every single day to make this film as close to his vision as possible”) and director Neil Marshall (who “brought us The Descent, one of the greatest horror movies ever”).

She finished by saying: “Trust me, you’re gonna have a blast watching [Hellboy]. I mean, one critic said, ‘it’s a loud, gory mess only a teenager would love.’ HELL yeah, Hellboy! Let’s have some fun!

“And with that, I wish you all a good night!”

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE : Your definitive feminist guide to 2019’s must-see movies

Jovovich is not the only one who’s asking critics to consider their words carefully: Kit Harington has also called for reviewers to be kinder and more considerate, too.

“I think no matter what anyone thinks about this season [of Game of Thrones] – and I don’t mean to sound mean about critics here – but whatever critic spends half an hour writing about this season and makes their [negative] judgment on it, in my head they can go fuck themselves,” said Harington, who portrays Jon Snow in HBO’s fantasy series.

“‘Cause I know how much work was put into this. I know how much people cared about this. I know how much pressure people put on themselves and I know how many sleepless nights working or otherwise people had on this show,” he continued.

“Because they cared about it so much. Because they cared about the characters. Because they cared about the story. Because they cared about not letting people down.”

Well, quite.

I'm surprised they didn't blame the failure of the movie on sexist, racist and toxic fans and put it on their Feminist films of 2019 listicle which is a mix of a few interesting looking films (I am Mother) and a lot of terrible Hollywood schlock marketed as being anti sexist/anti racist (Star Wars Episode IX, Captain Marvel, Charlie's Angels).

Remember it's your duty to sock it to those sexist/racist Trump voters by going to see inept franchise reboots and comic book movies at least once and buying as much overpriced popcorn and soda as you can afford!

 

[TerribleIdeas™]

I'll be the first to admit that I'm not watching Milla Jovovich for the depth of her acting skills, any more than I watch female rappers for their musical talents, so I'll give this a try; Perlman turned into a giant bitch, just like Rollins and Biafra did, so hopefully this will make HellBoy enjoyable again.

 

[Gustav Schuchardt]

I'll be the first to admit that I'm not watching Milla Jovovich for the depth of her acting skills, any more than I watch female rappers for their musical talents, so I'll give this a try; Perlman turned into a giant bitch, just like Rollins and Biafra did, so hopefully this will make HellBoy enjoyable again.

If you look at her list of movies

Jovovich continued: “All I’m gonna say before going to bed is this: All my raddest films have been slammed by critics. It’s fucking hilarious. Dazed and Confused? Seriously? Classic movie. The Fifth Element! You would have thought that was the worst movie ever made if you read the reviews in like ‘98. Zoolander? Slammed. Joan of Arc? Disaster. Resident Evil? Let’s not even go there.

Dazed and Confused was mediocre. The Fifth Element was pretty much a perfect movie. Zoolander was bad/mediocre. So was Joan of Arc. I do like the first Resident Evil movie, but the latter ones seem like flogging a dead horse. Still they're watchable, unlike say the Transformers movies which were not.

But you're right - she's not a good actress but she is pretty decent to watch in martial arts schlock, which is what she did in Fifth Element and the Resident Evil movies.

The thing is that a decent action movies needs to be kind of lean. Look at James Cameron's films for example - there's no real fat on the bones. Every single scene really needs to be there to move the plot along. Hellboy (2019) doesn't sound like that at all - it sounds like a bunch of CGI put together by a committee who didn't agree on what they were trying to do.

 

[Catgirl IRL]

I love Daniel Dae Kim but calling him a wonderful actor is lol

 

[Midlife Sperglord]

The new Hellboy came across to me as a movie with a middle school mentality. The more artificial-looking CGI gore it stuffed in there, the more childish it seemed to me.