Help me, I just bought a turntable -

[Splendid]

I just bought a turntable that scans the entire record, then lets you select what song you want to play.
Please help me, I've lost all control of my life.

It arrives on the 29th.

 

[Count groudon]

lol it's 2016, just get an iPod faggot

 

[polonium]

When you say "scans the entire record" like are we talking it optically reads the music (possible, but implausible) or just looks for gaps and assumes those are the tracks or something?

 

[The Lawgiver]

Create an entire record with nothing but skeleton anthems.

 

[WireSponge]

Use your newfound vinyl records prowess to become lord of the hipsters and create your own mass-suicide cult.

 

[BurningPewter]

you ordered something that all out Grannies have gathering dust in the corner because no thrift store will take it?

you absolute fool.

re-evaluate your life. Now.

" scans the entire record, then lets you select what song you want to play"

just lift the needle up and put it on the lines between the songs. tech unnecessary.

 

[Positron]

You aren't talking about this thing aren't you? It costs more than a house and a car.

 

[AlanRickmanIsDead]

Bitch, you need two turntables and a microphone if you wanna be cool.

 

[CatParty]

Bitch, you need two turntables and a microphone if you wanna be cool.

yes, now buy another turntable and a mic

 

[VortekPMD]

Wait until Friday night when you feel alright. Have a party on the Westside.

 

[Yamyam]

You gonna need a shades and a snap back now.

 

[Splendid]

When you say "scans the entire record" like are we talking it optically reads the music (possible, but implausible) or just looks for gaps and assumes those are the tracks or something?

The latter.

Create an entire record with nothing but skeleton anthems.

How the fuck would I cut a record?

Use your newfound vinyl records prowess to become lord of the hipsters and create your own mass-suicide cult.

I only want cool shitposter in my death cult.

you ordered something that all out Grannies have gathering dust in the corner because no thrift store will take it?

you absolute fool.

re-evaluate your life. Now.

" scans the entire record, then lets you select what song you want to play"

just lift the needle up and put it on the lines between the songs. tech unnecessary.

In lazy and this is some rare thing that I'm saving from jerk off audiophiles.

You aren't talking about this thing aren't you? It costs more than a house and a car.

It cost me $130 on eBay.

 

[Coldgrip]

If it's come to this, there's only one thing you can do to get a grip on your life:

 

[nad7155]

I just bought a turntable that scans the entire record, then lets you select what song you want to play.

Is it an ADC Accutrac?

 

[Splendid]

Nope, Technics SL-6

 

[timecop]

hell yeah, i want to get a record player as well

 

[Damocles_Sword]

Well, I'm afraid it's too late, you've contracted the deadly illness known as hipster. In a few weeks you will start vaping and from there you'll start feeling an uncontrollable urge to be "dapper". End stage hipster has you believing that you are masculine, despite your frame and features becoming more feminine, and feeling some sort of euphoria as your wife tells you that she's going out to fuck a bunch of other guys.

 

[ObeseScreamingBlackMan]

Nope, Technics SL-6

lol couldn't even spring for an SL-10 or SL-15?

Scrub.

 

[polonium]

Well, I'm afraid it's too late, you've contracted the deadly illness known as hipster. In a few weeks you will start vaping and from there you'll start feeling an uncontrollable urge to be "dapper". End stage hipster has you believing that you are masculine, despite your frame and features becoming more feminine, and feeling some sort of euphoria as your wife tells you that she's going out to fuck a bunch of other guys.

oh my God, I'm so sorry. I've lost friends to hipster.. it was... not pretty.

 

[Kartoffel]

Quick, counter the hipsterness with autistic bullshit!
But beware! Falsely dosed you might turn into a tumblrina.