He's going to jail. It's just a question of when. -

[Kosher Dill]

He'd never buy enough drinks to get a blood alcohol of .10. At his weight it would cost a fortune, and BOOZE IS EXPENSIVE!!

 

[A-№1]

He'd never buy enough drinks to get a blood alcohol of .10. At his weight it would cost a fortune, and BOOZE IS EXPENSIVE!!

The first one encourages the next. And so on.

And I'm guessing Chris is a lightweight.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

If Chris drinks so much as a single can of beer, he will declare himself "drunk" even though it's not physically possible.

He will not declare himself drunk for no reason. He will do it if he's got some kind of bone to go pick at a store or something. Then he will proceed to drive there to do it, essentially saying it's okay for him to drive drunk (even though he won't really be doing so). Then he will cause whatever ruckus he likes because "I was drunk I couldn't help it".

 

[Marvin]

I don't think physical things are the only things that keep Chris in line. He's very afraid of Barb, for example.

For now. But Barb is deteriorating. Sooner or later there will be a shift in the balance of power in the Chandler household. That's when Chris will become truly dangerous.

And I don't think it's likely that Chris is going to realize he doesn't have to listen to her. He disobeyed her once and that scared the hell out of him.

It will start with a small act of rebellion. And when Chris doesn't get any small punishment for that he'll try a slightly less small act of rebellion. Rinse. Repeat.

That's possible, but only if Barb is incapable of speaking. As long as she can speak, that's all that she needs to control Chris.

And yeah, Chris goes to bars, but just not very often. Or, actually, probably not nowadays because Barb isn't letting him go.

Barb won't be able to stop him forever. And alcohol and Chris are NOT a good combination. He has poor enough impulse control as it is. Now add in a blood alcohol of .10 or so and things will get messy.

I think Barb will be able to stop him for as long as she's alive and still living in 14BC. But yeah, Chris and alcohol isn't a good combination. And hell, he doesn't even need to actually be intoxicated, Alec is absolutely right about that.

 

[DangDirtyTrolls]

If Chris drinks so much as a single can of beer, he will declare himself "drunk" even though it's not physically possible.

Doesn't need to be physically possible thanks to our good friend the placebo effect and Chris' general dim-wittedness. I could believe he actually thinks he's drunk as opposed to knowingly pretending.

 

[A-№1]

If Chris drinks so much as a single can of beer, he will declare himself "drunk" even though it's not physically possible.

Chris doesn't need to declare himself drunk. Just be drunk.

Aw hell, with Chris' already almost non existent impulse control he'll just have to be slightly buzzed to throw everything to the wind.

Then he will cause whatever ruckus he likes because "I was drunk I couldn't help it".

I can honestly see him thinking that will work for him. I really can. "It's not my fault I mowed down that family got in front of my car, yuh jerkudge honna! I was drunk!"

That's possible, but only if Barb is incapable of speaking. As long as she can speak, that's all that she needs to control Chris.

A year or so ago I would have agreed with you, but now I honestly believe there will come a point where Chris realizes he doesn't have to listen. I'm not saying that day is today, or any time soon, but I do think it will happen. Thus far we've only seen junior high dumbassery phase Chris, but rebellious teen phase Chris is coming.

And then, like you say, there's always the possibility of barb being seriously debilitated. There are many ways her horrible lifestyle can disable her short of killing her. And without what little control Barb has over Chris' life, he's going to melt down hard.

And hell, he doesn't even need to actually be intoxicated, Alec is absolutely right about that.

One or two drinks is probably more than enough to eliminate what little impulse control Chris has. His only hope is that he's a sleepy drunk, not a mean one or a stupid one.

 

[Marvin]

That's possible, but only if Barb is incapable of speaking. As long as she can speak, that's all that she needs to control Chris.

A year or so ago I would have agreed with you, but now I honestly believe there will come a point where Chris realizes he doesn't have to listen. I'm not saying that day is today, or any time soon, but I do think it will happen. Thus far we've only seen junior high dumbassery phase Chris, but rebellious teen phase Chris is coming.

And then, like you say, there's always the possibility of barb being seriously debilitated. There are many ways her horrible lifestyle can disable her short of killing her. And without what little control Barb has over Chris' life, he's going to melt down hard.

Eh, I don't know about that. Really, the Ohio trip scared the shit out of him. He, for once, grew a pair and disobeyed his parents and it bit him in the ass. Borb called the cops. Barb's threatened to change the locks before too. Honestly, I think that Chris will continue to believe in Barb's control over him as long as she doesn't take away anything vital to him. So, pretty much video games and the reunion. If she does try to fuck with his video games, then yeah, I could possibly see Chris getting desperate enough to rebel.

 

[Bragorboats]

As people have said, jail probably isn't the best option (although it would probably force him to listen). It's funny though, whenever I think that Chris might need help, the only thing I can think of is how his therapist will listen to him babble about 'a cwcki' and said therapist, out of boredom, will look us up... and be like... 'wtf is this?' :p

 

[JarlaxleBaenre]

@Marvin: Who was more upset with Chris for running to Ohio--Bob or Barb?

 

[A-№1]

Eh, I don't know about that. Really, the Ohio trip scared the shit out of him. He, for once, grew a pair and disobeyed his parents and it bit him in the ass. Borb called the cops. Barb's threatened to change the locks before too.

The Ohio trip was a big rebellion, and happened all at once, and had big results. And is probably one of the few reasons why Barb has any control on Chris today. And it happened at a time when Barb and Bob were actually physically capable of backing up their threats. But at some point in the future Barb's threats to call the cops and change the locks will start to ring hollow because without Chris around there will be nobody to obtain q-sands for her or bandage her holey buttocks.

Honestly, I think that Chris will continue to believe in Barb's control over him as long as she doesn't take away anything vital to him. So, pretty much video games and the reunion.

Barb may herself realize her dependence on Chris, and if she does it probably scares the shit out of her. Would you want to be dependent on Chris for q-sands and butt bandages? And that fear will only make her empty attempts to control Chris more strident as time goes on and she decays further. There probably will come a time where she steps up her threats to include Chris' vidya or she otherwise crosses the line.

I'm thinking this time around Chris will start out small, and might not even realize he's gone against Barb's will until after the fact. At first that will scare him, but as consequences continue to fail to appear it will only embolden him. That will be the pebble that starts the landslide. He may not even openly rebel, just start thinking that he won't get caught.

I'm not basing my position on where the Chandlers have been, but on where they appear to be going. The Chandler household is not a system that can remain stable forever, and it's not going to change for the better. It's only a matter if time.

 

[TrippinKahlua]

Chris is too faithful for me to want him to go to jail. He's always there to provide content, whether he likes it or not.

 

[QI 541]

Chris is too faithful for me to want him to go to jail. He's always there to provide content, whether he likes it or not.

All Chris needs to do is smuggle a cellphone into prison and he can provide us content from there.

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

Chris is too faithful for me to want him to go to jail. He's always there to provide content, whether he likes it or not.

All Chris needs to do is smuggle a cellphone into prison and he can provide us content from there.

How would he get it in there? Shove it up his ass?

Oh, wait...

 

[Marvin]

@Marvin: Who was more upset with Chris for running to Ohio--Bob or Barb?

Uhh, I think they were both worried about his safety because they know he's a manchild. Once he was back home and safe, Barb was probably a lot more angry at Chris for rebelling.

 

[Roger Rabbit]

It will probably happen.

 

[Kosher Dill]

How would he get it in there? Shove it up his ass?

Oh, wait...

"Warden, I think we've got a corrupt guard selling goods to the inmates. This new guy has an iPhone, 3DS, Vita, and a medallion that's not part of the standard prison uniform."

 

[QI 541]

@Marvin: Who was more upset with Chris for running to Ohio--Bob or Barb?

Uhh, I think they were both worried about his safety because they know he's a manchild. Once he was back home and safe, Barb was probably a lot more angry at Chris for rebelling.

Maybe Borb had a point in restricting Chris. He can barely go out to buy groceries these days without getting into trouble.

 

[GFYS]

It's really not difficult to get sent to prison, for minor fuckups. Especially if you fuck up with some regularity. Without going into too much detail, I was "compelled to pay a debt to society" for something that most people would only get a fine and maybe probation. But, because - at that time - I was habitually rebelling against society, and constantly using my mental disability as an excuse, a judge saw fit to punish me to the fullest extent of the law to demonstrate that I can't always bet the farm on the disability card. There's always gonna be someone who won't take it easy on a "retard," and they're not as uncommon as you think. Ditto with prejudice against habitual fuckups, especially during an election year. So, Chris playing the Autism Card can - and probably will - backfire, one of these days.

Chris' tendency to overreact, his strange behavior, and his tendency to flee can be easily mistaken as a threat. As weak as we know he is, he looks like he's 300 lbs., and dresses weird. Frankly, he looks like what a child predator should look like, in my mind. To a parent of little kids, to a single woman, to elderly people, he might seem menacing. Supposedly he mumbles to himself, he's always hiding behind an electronic device, he loiters, and he acts like he has something to hide. That might also alert security guards, because they think he's stealing stuff. A simple misunderstanding or a childish tantrum from someone like Chris could easily escalate into something serious.

Remember one of the previous times he was stopped by Snyder? I think he would have just been escorted out of the store, but Snyder thought Chris was taking photos of his daughter... See how easily Chris escalated the situation? If a security guard or police officer stops him to tell him his taillight is out, and he starts yelling "KILL ME GOD" while he reaches under his shirt to get his iDea Book to snap a photo... Shit, in this day in age, police are shooting innocent people all the fucking time.

NEVER underestimate Chris' ability to fuck things up, and to make situations worse because he can't function like a regular person.

 

[Globe]

It's really not difficult to get sent to prison, for minor fuckups. Especially if you fuck up with some regularity. Without going into too much detail, I was "compelled to pay a debt to society" for something that most people would only get a fine and maybe probation. But, because - at that time - I was habitually rebelling against society, and constantly using my mental disability as an excuse, a judge saw fit to punish me to the fullest extent of the law to demonstrate that I can't always bet the farm on the disability card. There's always gonna be someone who won't take it easy on a "exceptional individual," and they're not as uncommon as you think. Ditto with prejudice against habitual fuckups, especially during an election year. So, Chris playing the Autism Card can - and probably will - backfire, one of these days.

Chris' tendency to overreact, his strange behavior, and his tendency to flee can be easily mistaken as a threat. As weak as we know he is, he looks like he's 300 lbs., and dresses weird. Frankly, he looks like what a child predator should look like, in my mind. To a parent of little kids, to a single woman, to elderly people, he might seem menacing. Supposedly he mumbles to himself, he's always hiding behind an electronic device, he loiters, and he acts like he has something to hide. That might also alert security guards, because they think he's stealing stuff. A simple misunderstanding or a childish tantrum from someone like Chris could easily escalate into something serious.

Remember one of the previous times he was stopped by Snyder? I think he would have just been escorted out of the store, but Snyder thought Chris was taking photos of his daughter... See how easily Chris escalated the situation? If a security guard or police officer stops him to tell him his taillight is out, and he starts yelling "KILL ME GOD" while he reaches under his shirt to get his iDea Book to snap a photo... Shit, in this day in age, police are shooting innocent people all the fucking time.

NEVER underestimate Chris' ability to fuck things up, and to make situations worse because he can't function like a regular person.

...can I just take this moment to say that I love almost every post you write?

 

[A-№1]

It's really not difficult to get sent to prison, for minor fuckups. […] So, Chris playing the Autism Card can - and probably will - backfire, one of these days.

Pretty much ^this entire post.

People think Chris (or his advocates) plays the Autism Card every time he comes up against authority. But it's not really like that. He's rolling the Autism Dice. He's been fortunate thus far, but the house always wins in the end, and eventually Chris is going to roll snake eyes. One day he's going to come in front of an unsympathetic bench and learn the hard way that exceptional individuals have to obey the law like everyone else and not damage property or endanger others.

The longer this takes the harder it's going to be when it happens.