TheMonkeyMan
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2015
As everyone who has used one can attest to, there are some terrible people on dating sites. I found this profile on plentyoffish a while ago:
Later, I found that this same woman had an OKCupid account:
I was curious about this blog of hers, so I Googled one of the horrible messages she got and found this blog, which has four posts and one comment. She has a strange definition of "quite popular".
NSFW for the guy's penis pic that she posted: http://bitchybitchbitches.blogspot.com/
I like the first post the best, where someone messages her for anonymous sex and she still manages to come off like the worse person:
Can't a Bitch Get $20 For Drinks?
Feel free to post awful dating profiles that you've found.
I DO NOT CHAT, I DO NOT CHAT, I DO NOT CHAT, I DO NOT CHAT
Habla Usted inglés?
If the FIRST LINE of your message to me is anything less than an offer for a date with a day and time suggested, I will block you.
There are plenty of services out there where you can chat or cam with a girl or order a girl to your hotel room. This is supposed to be a DATING site. Not a chat or webcam room, not a free escort service. This is not a free version of City Vibe. I am not looking for a one night stand.
I DO NOT chat or "date online" If you want to have a conversation with me / get to know me, you need to ask me on a proper lunch or dinner date. I only date in real life. I DO NOT meet for just drinks or coffee.
There are plenty of decent restaurants for a date. Open to suggestions in the city center area or I can suggest one after you ask me out.
My phone number is not given out through this website as to avoid # collectors who only want to spam me with boner pics at 3 am so please stop asking for my #.
I have a creative background and many fancy degrees in the arts and education. In other words, I am a low paid individual with not a very bright future on my own. I work very hard, have no debt but student loans which I pay every month. I’m currently trying to buy my own business.
I am seeking a boyfriend between 27-40 who can provide stability. In return I can plan and carry out dinner parties for your friends and family, interior design and decorating, escort you to events, be a good listener and supportive friend, provide potential sex, cooking and other domestic chores. And maybe even needlepoint a pillow for your mom. I can eventually live with you if you like but it is not required and I’m fine with a live out arrangement as long as it is mutually beneficial. If you want a modern feminist type who brags about how she doesn't need a man, I am not the girl for you.
If you have something more than just your wiener to offer me, shoot me a message and we can discuss further in real life.
DO NOT contact me if you hate women.
I used to have a long compilation on here of messages I received from men but POF deleted it. Interesting how men are allowed to harass women but women are not allowed to speak out against it. After hundreds of men suggested I create a blog with it, I did and it's been quite popular.
Later, I found that this same woman had an OKCupid account:
My self-summary
If the FIRST LINE of your message to me is anything less than an offer for a food date with a day and time suggested, I will block you.
Dear "men" of this site. You have been heard loud and clear. You want a free prostitute asap. There are plenty of services out there where you can chat with a girl or order a girl to your hotel room. Sadly instead of utilizing such services, men try to use dating sites to get around paying. This is supposed to be a DATING site. Not a chat or webcam room, not a free escort service. This is not a free version of City Vibe.
I DO NOT chat or "date online" If you want to have a conversation with me / get to know me, you need to ask me on a proper lunch or dinner date. I only date in real life. I DO NOT meet for just drinks or coffee. I will NOT meet you at a bar. I do not meet later than 8pm. I will not blow you in your car just because you bought me a sandwich.
There are plenty of decent restaurants for a date. Open to suggestions in the area or I can suggest one after you ask me out.
My phone number is not given out through this website as to avoid # collectors who only want to spam me with boner pics at 3 am so please stop asking for my #.
If you have something more than just your wiener to offer me, shoot me a message and we can discuss further in real life.
What I’m doing with my life
Artsy shit that doesn't pay and office temp jobs that barely pay. Can tell you all about it over lunch.
Here is some community service for men who like to use the word cuddling. Watch this and you might actually learn something:I’m really good at
disappointing men with something called self-esteem and expectations. There are lots of girls on here who will spread for nothing in return. I am not one of them.
I am very domestic. My standard of cleanliness is far above most people's. I can also cook or bake anything you desire. I am available to escort you to social events. I know how to dress well. I am over educated and under skilled as far as any hope of ever making more than 20K per year. I need a man who is a high earner because I am not. You will never have to worry about feeling threatened or intimidated because you will always be more financially successful than me.
I could make a lonely socially awkward nerd a very happy man.
The six things I could never do without
1.Complete honesty. And since guys are at least honest on here I will do the same. Here is what I am looking for if we were to hit it off upon lunching or dining together:
2. You have your own place with no roommates.
3. You make at least 60K per year.
4. You never smoke and are not a weed head.
5. You are not fat or bald and can prove this with full length photos and hat free photos before we meet.
6. You are not from the middle east or Asia.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit The messages I get from YOU:
[insanely long list of admittedly horrible messages skipped]
You should message me if
you have something more than just your wiener to offer, and can express what that is in complete sentences with proper grammar.
You were raised to be a gentleman.
DO NOT contact me if your only relationships with women have been in the virtual world. A girl in Canada you skype and text with everyday but have never met IRL is not a girlfriend. Sorry to break that to you.
Agoraphobia is almost as lame as trying to bully girls on dating sites into being free hookers.
I was curious about this blog of hers, so I Googled one of the horrible messages she got and found this blog, which has four posts and one comment. She has a strange definition of "quite popular".
NSFW for the guy's penis pic that she posted: http://bitchybitchbitches.blogspot.com/
I like the first post the best, where someone messages her for anonymous sex and she still manages to come off like the worse person:
Can't a Bitch Get $20 For Drinks?
Your conversation with Jackson13879
https://kiwifarms.net/file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CLaura%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_image001.jpg
Jackson13879
10/5/2012 3:13:42 AM
must be honest and straight forward. I am looking for a fellow mature adult who is interested in a friends with benefits relationship. It would be drama free, clean, and discrete. As a very busy guy that is applying to medical school and working full time as a research assistant for a liver transplant specialist at Lurie Children's Hospital, I cannot find the conventional time to go out so I am turning to this. Please do not be taken back by it or displeased. I am only being honest.
Hope to hear from you
ME
10/5/2012 10:36:35 AM
I will be honest and straight forward as well. If you don't have emotions or time to give me then you will need to give cash when we meet. If this interests you, you can take me to dinner first and we can see from there if we hit it off and if we do, discuss further the arrangement.
https://kiwifarms.net/file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CLaura%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_image001.jpg
Jackson13879
10/5/2012 9:02:17 PM
I am very interested, but more curious to know what you demand in terms of monetary compensation for your time. I clearly do have emotions and time to give you, but am not ready to commit to a serious relationship. I am not opposed to paying, but think you would enjoy my company quite well and gain much out of the relationship without the financial benefits. Let me know babe.
ME
10/5/2012 9:26:28 PM
Drama free means no emotions. Since you’re obviously married (aka “discreet”) And like you originally stated, you don’t have time for a relationship.
If you are serious about meeting in real life, I am available this weekend for dinner and I am not promising you anything.
https://kiwifarms.net/file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CLaura%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_image001.jpg
Jackson13879
10/6/2012 12:24:43 AM
Would you prefer to meet at a bar that is low key? I think our first meet can be a little more simple such as a drink to see if there is some chemistry. If we need to run a hurry up offense we can. Do you have any other pictures you can send me to see what you look like? I will be happy to exchange. Do you have facebook?
ME
10/6/2012 1:12:10 PM
Like my profile says, I don't meet just for drinks since all this means is the guy is looking for a fast free hook up. If you can’t invest time for dinner then you could just pay me $20 for my time. Otherwise it’s just not worth it for me. Doesn’t sound like you have much to offer.
https://kiwifarms.net/file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CLaura%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_image001.jpg
Jackson13879
10/6/2012 5:12:46 PM
What is this you just want 20? I am not going to just meet you and give you $20. How is it not worth your time? I think my time is just as important as yours. Would you feel more comfortable at your place and I bring $20 there?
ME
10/6/2012 5:51:03 PM
Sure, strange man, let me give you my address and then please just show up at my door with $20 and I will be happy to provide sex. Are you fucking retarded?
Let’s review your stated needs:
1. you contact me telling me you want sex and nothing else.
2. you are unwilling to even buy me dinner first because that is too much of a commitment.
3. you are unwilling to even pay for the cost of drinks; $20, I'd rather just have the cash since I don't drink.
4. The only way you *might* give me a measly $20 is if I give you my address so you can come over asap for sex.
So what exactly do you have to offer other than your cock?
Damn, where did he go?
Feel free to post awful dating profiles that you've found.
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