How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

FuckedUp

kiwifarms.net
Hell, I had a great GPA until one shitty teacher nuked mine because he didn't like me and gave me a C. It was a fuckin' public speaking class, and he thought I was too "off the wall" because I made the class laugh a few times.

Seems like if one thing won't shit on your GPA, something else out of your control will.
When was that, freshman year? My GPA was at 3.4—pretty good compared to other state school STEM cucks, but not phenomenal—at the end of freshman year, but I took eleven classes last summer and fall and got A's in all but one (in which I got a B+) and raised it to 3.7.
 
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Pissmaster

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
When was that, freshman year? My GPA was at 3.4—pretty good compared to other state school STEM cucks, but not phenomenal—at the end of freshman year, but I took eleven classes last summer and fall and got A's in all but one (in which I got a B+) and raised it to 3.7.
Sophomore, actually, though I did put the class off until my second year. I was running a 4.0 until then, so you can imagine it made me extra salty.
 

FuckedUp

kiwifarms.net
I'm considering dropping one or both of my upcoming six-week summer classes and either take an extra course this fall and spring or push my graduation to next summer so I can fuck around more. Had plans to play so much vidya and all I've done is browse the internet. Like nearly every other time I've had an abundance of freetime since 12 or so *sigh*
 

Parson Weebs

kiwifarms.net
Been a weird couple months. My day-to-day life is more productive than it has been for years, but my brain can't really comprehend the extent of the covid crisis. Perhaps it never will. The coof cloud hovers, like a B-52. Anxiety sits like heavy glass.
 

JimmerSnail

Waaaay too serious
kiwifarms.net
I'm finally feeling fine.
I've been trying to get into blender, and few extra things, but I haven't been feeling this good in a while, it's refreshing. And I feel somewhat gratified knowing that I'm somehow learning something.

After a bit of copying what blender guru was doing in his tutorial I've finished my "first" render,which is a doughnut and a coffee cup.
Final render (Coffee, cups, donuts, plates) cycles.png

I think that I'll add a single radioactive sprinkle in the animation.
Extra: I'm starting to hate my gpu, because if I set the motion blur on, this happens
This blender project is cursed. I can't use Branched Path Tracing on it, I can't turn the motion blur on... But only on this project, that's a slight relief.
fucking glitched.png

Everything is an emitter,lmao! If anyone has the know-how to unfuck my project, please help me.
in between part 3 and 4 of BlenderGuru's Doughnut Tutorial, I made this thing:
Coffee Cup extra render lol.png


and a few friends started joking how it looked like a condom advertisement, so I made it so:
durexxxxx no watermark.png

the fun part is that someone commented that this was a much better ad than the shit they're disguising as ads these days.
yeeee.... I can't upload it here directly due to file size (1.25 mb,just barely), so here's two mirrors:
 
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Leonard Helplessness

kiwifarms.net
In the movie Kingsman, some fake philanthropist sets up an unlimited free telecommunications network for everybody and gets everybody to use his proprietary telecom hardware, and the hardware is rigged to send out a signal that drives every user across the planet into a homicidal rage one day.

Kingsman was not a spectacular movie in my opinion, but I've found myself remembering that doomsday weapon in recent weeks. Every major website I visit, every twitter feed, every social network front page feels like it's infected with hysteria to the point of encouraging indiscriminate bloodshed and destruction. And that's to say nothing of TV.

We spend every day hooked to a dripfeed of information. On the internet, this information used to be whatever the fuck anybody posted anywhere be it sane or autistic, cool or shitty. Over time, the information became increasingly curated and filtered, but because the dripfeed still pleased us we never took it out; we let ourselves be addicted to the ever-present sting of that needle. Now, the contents of the dripfeed have suddenly turned to pure fucking poison, and I can feel it every time I log onto somewhere and see yet another lunatic screaming about senselessly breaking shit and hurting people. I try again and again to disconnect myself from it all, but it feels seemingly impossible to both get that needle out and resist the urge to jam it back into my arm minutes later. The internet used to be a place of escapism; now I find myself seeking to escape from the internet.

In times like these, the sky is my friend. When I was younger I lived in the country, free of light pollution -- which meant that on a clear night, I could look up into the stars and they went on forever. The entire Milky Way in all its vastness was visible. The city's skies are more dim, but at least I can see the moon and remember that I'm looking at a rock the size of Australia.

I'd like to call attention to a photograph taken from the edge of the solar system. The Earth is visible in this photo, as a pale blue dot (from which the photo gets its name):

1592677435270.png


And I'd like to point to some words written about this photo by Carl Sagan:

Look again at that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there--on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.

The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds.

Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.

The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we make our stand.

It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known.
Taken from Wikipedia. I don't know my geniuses; Carl Sagan is probably either dead or swept away in the worldwide shitstorm of autism by now. But I cherish those particular words.

Hate begets hate and people have forgotten what hate actually is, making them all the more susceptible to be consumed by it. The sky reminds us that in the grand scheme of things, our petty squabbles are meaningless. Love each other, find joy in every day, and do not give into our base, primal urges to consume and destroy one another. If the internet is making you unhappy, stay away from it and seek the things that don't upset you -- friends, family, old movies and gideo vames from a more innocent time, books, anything that brings you peace.

Laughter is medicine. I hope my stickers arrive soon.
 

Chan Fan

Quarantine Queen
kiwifarms.net
I was looking very forward to being home and having a bit of time to myself today but I found myself unable to relax. Not entirely sure why. I did a bunch of prep work for the week to come even though I really don't have much planned. I think part of it is the realization the year is half over already and it's the longest day of the year and it's a turning point in a lot of ways. How much have I accomplished and what else do I want to do this year? When will things be normal again? Will things be normal again? Maybe this day was meant to be introspective, a time to ponder big questions. It all feels very...murky? Brackish? Unclear.
 

Patricia Highsmith

Getting away with murder.
kiwifarms.net
I don't think so, since it is not an infectious disease, but they do toss my blood when they drain it in the hospital.

I told them it was a waste and they agreed, but apparently they have no procedure for saving my blood.

The draw it out of an IV into a small jar and toss the whole thing.
There’s an iron deficient vampire who lurks on KF looking for you.
 
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LazarusOwenhart

Terrainist Shitlord!
kiwifarms.net
@Leonard Helplessness Sagan is long dead dude but he's still as profound and meaningful to read today as he was 30 years ago. You should REALLY watch Carl Sagans Cosmos.

I've been spending a lot of time in my workshop, I used lock down as an opportunity to build a fucking enormous CNC machine that's capable of carving over a 4ft X 4ft X 6inch area. It's by a wide margin the most impressive thing I've ever done and now I've done it I have the weird conundrum of exactly what to do with it. I mean, I have a nice new carved name sign on my house so there's that. Apparently I'm an engineer which was a nice fact to learn about myself.

Today I built a rose arch for my garden because roses are awesome and fuck you if you think otherwise.
 
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SickNastyBastard

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True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I've been great. I've been able to focus on doing my passion project, enjoy my family, have awesome friends, dropped 12% bf and its been so fulfilling. I'm tackling something wicked huge and hard but damn I'm fascinated and reinvigorated by every step. I hope all you fags get the same kind of fulfillment I do.
 
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speedfreak69

Richard Flattening, M.D.
kiwifarms.net
I got hit with a splitting headache for a minute or two, vision sort of faded and could only rock in bed with head in hands while it lasted.
Hoped it was an aneurysm but just got a 20 minute headache, lame.

Also getting off benzos again shit fucking sucks nigger dick, failing college and all the fucked up shit I've seen on the internet is finally starting to mentally catch up with me. Been trying to score heroin.

Jesus, when I put it like that, shit sucks
 
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FuckedUp

kiwifarms.net
The temptation to just drop the two upcoming six-week summer classes is building up, but I really don't want to take more than four classes in fall and spring, and wanted to be able to say I graduated in three years. Though I guess September 2018-August 2021 is still "in three years", right...?
 

FuckedUp

kiwifarms.net
I ended up dropping all my summer classes, including the one I'm taking right now, because I'm just not in the place mentally to do them. I've been doing schoolwork pretty much nonstop since September 2018, taking a winter class during the first break, five classes along with an internship last summer, and studying for the GRE verbal (and burning myself out for when I finally took it) last winter.
 

dinoman

Unarmed man with a knife
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I am absolutely infuriated with all the recent news going on. Makes me want to stop following news and politics altogether.
 

an kamel

kiwifarms.net
I am absolutely infuriated with all the recent news going on. Makes me want to stop following news and politics altogether.
I quit news after I realized that I had to admit to myself what a massive cuckening of one's self it is. One doesn't learn anything of useful or rewarding depth, it demoralizes you, it takes focus away from your own life, it is non-stop never-ending and always marked itself as "SUPER IMPORTANT FOR THE WHOLE WORLD", it is almost always designed to make you feel negative emotion.

I am sure there are people who need and ought to follow some form of news, but I have enough on my plate as is, and I'd rather dream my ass away to a lecture about the Tang Dynasty or some shit rather than pumping my veins with moar covid & covfefe.

An eye-opening philosopher on entertainment mediums is the philosopher Marshall McLuhan who talks about how 'at the bottom' of everything on TV is the message 'watch more TV'. What he means by this, I think, is that all content can be considered advertising for its medium. It's there, it tries to be as appealing as possible to you, whether appealing means sexy-time appealing, educational, real-journalism-gettin-muh-truth-out-there appealing, very very funny appealing, in some way it always tries to grip your heart as strong as possible, making your ass sit there and watch.
 
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