How can I dilate? - I can't dilate!


Nekogender, Nym/Nyan/Nyan
Mar 25, 2020
How can I even dilate? Seriously, none of those tutorials on reddit and quora ever worked, neither does any of these so called "dilation kit". I'm just not dilating no matter how I tried, please tell me how to dilate like Prisident Putin and Buggy Bunny!

Manul Otocolobus

Angriest Feline in the World
Nov 2, 2021
You stick a dragon dildo in your neo-stink ditch as far as it will go. Then you ask a big, strong guy to kick it as hard as he can while wearing steel toed boots. Congrats, you dilated. If you survive, keep doing it until the desired result is achieved.


Token Hispanic Friend
True & Honest Fan
Mar 29, 2014
If you go close enough to light speed or a black hole*, there should be significant time dilation.

*(this may not be such a good idea - especially if the black hole is only a few solar masses because spaghettification)