I haven't spent much time thinking about how I arrived where I did, mostly because it doesn't really matter that much and there's way too much to unravel.
I operate off an assumption that people are, for the most part, lazy, obnoxious fucking assholes. The good ones are rare. Positions of power are magnets for the biggest assholes and will consequently be filled by said assholes more often than not. Good people don't generally seek power over others, at least not for its own sake. Distrust power, view it with a jaundiced and wary eye. Distrust anyone who claims to be working in your interest. Distrust honeyed words and smiles. View acts of good that take on a performative bent extremely poorly, and do good quietly without expectation of reward or adulation.
I operate off an assumption that people are, for the most part, lazy, obnoxious fucking assholes. The good ones are rare. Positions of power are magnets for the biggest assholes and will consequently be filled by said assholes more often than not. Good people don't generally seek power over others, at least not for its own sake. Distrust power, view it with a jaundiced and wary eye. Distrust anyone who claims to be working in your interest. Distrust honeyed words and smiles. View acts of good that take on a performative bent extremely poorly, and do good quietly without expectation of reward or adulation.